Reviewer: TomBombadil Signed Date: 2017.01.31 - 07:21PM Title: Enemy Eyes
Wow! I never, ever, ever, expected Lucius to be the Legate in the current time period! Fantastic twist! And thank you! My mind has been screaming for Harry and Ginny, in whatever time period, to recognize what isd develping between them. Words escape my capacity to describe how much I am enjoying these stories! Oh, well, I didn't need to post another chapter today!
Ah! Sorry to have slowed the posting of another of your chapters; I'll be on the lookout for it in the queue!
That said, I'm distinctly gladdened that you're enjoying the tour!
Yes indeed -- Lucius. One small point to raise though, to suggest you rethink your phrase "in the current time period". I know what you're saying in that phrase, however there is a subtle distinction to be considered.
And yes, the next few chapters yield increasing recognition to what we all hope is inevitable. But, for the sake of the genre, I fear it can't be perfectly easy :)
Thank you for another very thought-provoking review!
Reviewer: LysCsuri Signed Date: 2016.12.06 - 05:34AM Title: Enemy Eyes
Can't help myself from rereading this, again!
Oh, well I'm very glad that, upon coming around to read it again, it's the romance that comes out. I tend to view a true romance as being a blend of 'thrill of the chase' and 'triumph over adversity' that brings two people together. Although the shape of this story is action / drama, in truth I really did set out from the start (for the first time ever) to craft a romance. Still very pleased with myself to have succeeded!
Oddly enough, and sadly enough, my best romantic instincts in this story may have been spent on love that, by the hands of fate, could never be consummated. But the Chapter 4 reviews are way too early to be talking about that.
Great to have you re-reading, Lys!
Reviewer: Aragorn Signed Date: 2015.10.01 - 03:20AM Title: Enemy Eyes
Even though I've been a big fan of your other stories, after the 2nd chapter was posted I stopped following the story...feeling too bewildered by it.
Immensely gratified to have won you back to this one, Aragorn!
On one hand, this story is very non-linear (much moreso than all of my other stories besides Tijdveldt Twist), and although one 'real' reality persists, there are other sands that are constantly shifting, for reasons that will really only be clear near the end of the story. I recognize that there are a fair number of readers who have limited patience for those sorts of headaches. But on the other hand, by the time I'm done with this (including both the drafting of future chapters *and* continued editing of prior ones) I think as a piece of writing it may end up as the best I've posted here.
So, a tradeoff that is producing lots of comments, but somewhat reduced readership (something a little like the curse of so-called 'critically acclaim').
Anyway, if I can continue to earn your patience, I hope I can lead you on a good ride!
Reviewer: Arnel Signed Date: 2015.09.04 - 01:38PM Title: Enemy Eyes
This is truly bizarre. I've been reading potterfan2008's story "Remember" that deals with the Iceni and Harry's eventual quest for "the stone of the Iceni," which turns out to be the sword of Slytherin, to use in his final battle against Voldemort. What are the odds that I'd actually read a second story concurrently with yours that deals with the same subject?
Ah, seriously? Coincidence? Or good taste in your reading, perhaps? ;)
In truth, I'm surprised that there haven't been more pieces weaving the great warrior queen into the HP universe. In the 1937 book by Lewis Spence (noted Scottish anthropologist) about Boadicea, he produced a map from which, if you squint liberally enough and attempt to gloss over many decades of urban progress, you can interpret as suggesting that the queen was buried somewhere between platforms 9 and 10 at Kings Cross station. Round about 2010 or 2011, some enterprising Potter nut dug that up, to the great delight of many! Unfortunately, Spence seems to have been off by more than 40 miles in his estimations (oops) but I see no reason why we fanciful fictitious types shouldn't still run with it.
Very pleased to hear that you too are enjoying the characterizations! This story will not be comedic by any stretch, but I do intend good-hearted friendship and collegiality (as well as a growing warmth between H&G) to provide welcome relief from a plot that will get a bit stressful.
I continue to be grateful for your thoughts, support and readership!
Reviewer: MisterBlack Signed Date: 2015.09.02 - 03:31PM Title: Enemy Eyes
You know, GHL, I have to say I feel like such a boob. For some stupid reason I never made the connection between you and 'Taking Control' and its sequel 'The Prevailing Counterpoint.' I know it is not the original sequel but seeing as Fake a Smile never finished and he gave you his blessing then TPC is the true sequel IMO.
Many many comments to re-comment upon. Thank you most kindly, MisterBlack!
First of all, I had to chuckle over your rant, because I do feel very much the same way. I believe that Chapter 5 will tweak you a bit since there are a fair number of little currents taking place with relationship implications. You will see what happens (at least preliminarily, and then secondarily) with the advice intended to scale the intensity of Harry's and Ginny's friendship. I hope you enjoy those.
I would definitely like to speak to this key balance (that I commend you for articulating very well) between the native characters of Harry, Ginny and Hermione and the fact, in Rowling's world, that so the interplay produced so many unsatisfactory (and frustrating!) outcomes. First of all, the most unfortunate aspect in Rowling's entire series was that she never let Ginny be co-conspirator *and* girlfriend to Harry at the same time. When she is only a friend (OotP) she is delightfully spunky and gets into lots of fun things, but can never have the true positive impact on Harry that a close confidante (or girlfriend) can achieve. When she is a girlfriend (end of HBP) she is systematically shut out of nearly everything of strategic importance. "WHY?!!" I cry from the mountaintops. Don't we all wonder just how better grounded Harry would be if he had someone who could blend the best of those two versions of Ginny? Don't we all secretly suspect that Harry wouldn't have been nearly so annoying?
Rhetorical question in the form of my own rant...
Regarding Malfoy, you are a hair's breadth away from glimpsing a key part of my sneakiness. From your statement "If he has access to these past memories", what happens if you replace the word "if" with "when"? Don't answer that, but go ahead and think about it. There's something there that answers the second half of that same paragraph (and answers a fair number of other things too).
Finally, no need to give yourself a hard time about not immediately recognizing me as the authour of TPC. Whenever I start a new story now, I attempt not only to write well, but also to undertake new stylistic challenges. When I succeed well, I would hope that one wouldn't immediately spot too many of the same writing ticks from one piece to the next. Oh, and incidentally, I'm very gratified to hear that you enjoyed TPC and are willing to put it on a level commensurate with Matt's original. Thank you!
Reviewer: dannbard Signed Date: 2015.09.02 - 10:44AM Title: Enemy Eyes
This is really really great! It may be a romance or an action story or something, but what it seems to fit best is as a character drama! Each of the parts is so carefully crafted -- one really knows where they stand, and they really play to a reader's emotions. The story line and the exotic settings are fun, but I really go for the dialogue.
Thanks Dann -- very glad to know that you like the personalities in the tale, and they way they comport themselves!
I guess I'm not too worried about the chapter archival yet -- it seems to vary a lot. Chapter 3 took nearly five days, but chapter 4 was less than two. I'm sure our archivists are working plenty diligently to bring to print the chapters that they and you are looking forward to.
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2015.08.31 - 08:52AM Title: Enemy Eyes
Ups. I'm a bit late. I was busy to explore the heart of the ancient Roman Empire on-site in person in the last couple of days. I hope that passes as an excuse. ;-)
Wow -- turismo a Roma? More than an adequate excuse!
To clear things up, there was no actual intention to imply a direct lineage from Boudicca through to Molly. That passage was intended to reflect how weary Ginny was, such that, when Lupin's train of thought accidentally collided with her own distinct concerns, Ginny had some difficulty keeping straight which 'mother' he was talking about. However, given the various other possible connections (real or ephemeral) that are flickering about, your suspicion is understandable.
I guess as far as the a possible link between Harry and Ignotus Peverell, was can at least conclude that Rowling hasn't ruled it out. HP lexicon and the Harry Potter Wikia, generally treat it as an established assumption, although the only evidence offered is the father-to-son inheritance of the invisibility cloak.
Indeed yes! I do not see Grimmauld Place / Summer 1995 as being an easy environment for trying to accomplish critical but mysterious quests. Almost everyone there would eventually accomplish important and selfless things in the struggle against darkness, but it seemed to me that in that first summer of quarantine, rather few people were acting according to their potential. This will obviously remain a plot point for some time!
Thank you very much for catching the typo, Martin! And, as always, I appreciate your thoughts and feedback!
Reviewer: gracepark Signed Date: 2015.08.30 - 08:25AM Title: Enemy Eyes
The princess and the publican have found each other! Can Harry and Ginny be far behind? Please don't let Harry go all stupid and noble!
Yes indeed -- the ancient pairing is manifest, perhaps accelerated by an impending (and potentially perilous) split they faced. Harry and Ginny face perils too, but may not be in so much of a hurry... More subconscious deliberation to look forward to in Chapter 5.
And as far as 'stupid and noble' tendencies, what do you think? Can Harry afford that this time around? Would Ginny even let him?
Thanks for keeping up with the story, Grace!
Reviewer: BkRmGrl87 Signed Date: 2015.08.30 - 06:02AM Title: Enemy Eyes
Oh, I love how this story is going! I love mysteries and about half the time I'm able to gauge what's about to happen next. However; this story is able to stand on its own and completely confuse, delight and intrigue me, and I cannot wait to be able to follow Harry and Ginny as the discover the past and hopefully change the future to a happy one we got to glimpse at the end of DH. The gentle and sweet bond that you've been able to craft between Ginny and Harry is just adorable, and I can't wait to see where this goes. Many times in the first chapters or so I was confused exactly "when" Ginny is since she has the Great Hall scene during DH, but suddenly she is at Grimmauld place. I think I've been able to kind of muddle through the unclear and confusing stories lines during the first
First of of, let me express my great pleasure to hear how you're enjoying the quirky tale, as well as the character development!
It occurs to me as I read your review that your disorientation very likely occurs from those several 'rapid awakenings' -- the heart-pounding, 'where am I?!!' moments. Most transitions are delineated safely by hard-return line breaks, but those waking panics are not. I may go back and rethink my decision to leave those as 'stream of consciousness' progressions, because they *are* confusing. My intention was for the reader to experience the same level of confusion as the characters do themselves, but if it detracts too much from the experience for too many readers, I may tweeze apart those transitions a bit. Stay tuned.
Thank you very much for offering your candid and honest opinions, BkRmGrl87!
Reviewer: mjc Signed Date: 2015.08.29 - 11:59PM Title: Enemy Eyes
Ah...so Bad Faith stretches that far back. Nice.
Yes indeed, the Mala Fide reach is long and far. Of course in a magical community, both small and inbred, there are other lines (light and dark) that stretch into the hazy fringes of history. One might wonder how (or why) did a late 20th C Malfoy manage to connect with an equally despicable ancestor?
Answer to come; all in good time. No pun intended...
Thank you for reading and reviewing, mjc!
Reviewer: nesciamema Signed Date: 2015.08.29 - 11:37PM Title: Enemy Eyes
Can't wait to read about his trial.
Uh oh... I guess I'll have to admit right now that treatment of the hearing itself (Chapter 6) is a bit understated. This is because of a plot device that I've been quietly adhering to -- I focus my writing much mostly on circumstances that differ significantly from canon, where those differences arise because there are a slightly different set of influences at work on a small number of characters. Most of the characters in the hearing have an attitude that is unaffected by these mysterious influences, so most of the hearing proceeds very similarly to Rowling's version, and thus gets glossed over.
Yet, within that quick-skim scene, do look for some little hints of what might be different
Especially look for different circumstances taking place at the Ministry 'after' the hearing.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy that chapter. Please don't hesitate to offer your thoughts either way!
Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2015.08.29 - 07:37PM Title: Enemy Eyes
Really enjoying this story. The character of Remus is wonderfully calm and helpful. I am enjoying Hermione giving advice to Ginny in such a kind supportive way. The character of the queen is strong and determined. Looking forward to the rest.
Yes, and in fact Lupin and Hermione both continue to play key roles in chapter 5, as does another personable character who's been relegated to the sidelines for a while. When I write this Hermione, my model is the character who somehow managed to get through a long, tense camping stint with Harry in DH without either of them strangling each other. In this vein, chapter 5 contains an argument between Hermione and Harry that I think you may enjoy; I don't expect that readers will walk away from it feeling any the worse for either character.
And yes, the Queen is definitely projecting her 'strong and determined' nature... although this precise choice of phrase is a little bit on the 'glass is half full' end of the spectrum.
Thank you so very much for continuing to offer your thoughts, M&A!
Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2015.08.29 - 04:26PM Title: Enemy Eyes
This is very well written and I have no idea yet where it will end up.
Most heartened to hear that you like the writing -- thanks Dad!
At this point a few people are starting to catch glimmers of some important plot points, but for the most part I think much remains shrouded. I suspect that even the story's title remains obscure to just about everyone. Hopefully I succeed in my mission to foster and promote that noble virtue known as 'patience' :)
As always, I greatly appreciate hearing from you!
Reviewer: Harte Signed Date: 2015.08.29 - 10:18AM Title: Enemy Eyes
This story is really amazing. It is so complex and pulls the reader in to the different timelines. Love your Hermione. You really have a great grasp on her character.
Wonderful that you're enjoying this so much; great to have you as a reader Harte!
The timelines aspect of all this is really entertaining to write, and it's great that readers are enjoying it, despite the complexity. In a couple chapters, I will introduce the first little timeline paradox, which is a luxury available to writers who dare mess with subject matter like this :)
I'm glad you like Hermione! As I originally mapped out this story, I didn't foresee her as playing such a constructive role, but she has in some ways decided to write herself in, and the result has been fun.
Reviewer: KateP Signed Date: 2015.08.29 - 03:33AM Title: Enemy Eyes
Another great chapter I am loving the whole Roman part being a massive Roman history girl I am getting a double hit of fun and the part you are dealing with is really interesting like the issue no one knows what happened to the queen or where she is buried be it a train station so there is always that slim idea that some think she could have escaped death some how plus the whole idea of Romans giving her a burial when cremations were used by there own people
Ah -- another reader from whom any historical and contextual feedback will be most welcome! Yes, there is a big element of 'fun' in all of this because not only are so many facets of the Iceni uprising controversial (even Tacitus and Cassius Dio disagree on lots of key points), but there is also a long tradition of writers labeling Boadicea (or Boudicca if you prefer) as a witch. Couple that with the fact that historians know a ton about Roman life, and even have a fair grasp of what Celtic society was like at the time, and it becomes an immensely rich playground to weaving into some of the more vague aspects of Rowling canon. So I'm enjoying writing it as much as you seem to like reading it :)
Chapter 5 will offer another clue about the significance of the dreams. Hope to be able to post it fairly soon, but there's still some writing and editing to be done.
Thank you most kindly for undertaking this little adventure with me, Kate! Appreciating your thoughts!
Reviewer: Cole Signed Date: 2015.08.28 - 10:54PM Title: Enemy Eyes
I've left individual reviews within the earlier chapters, because I liked them so much I wanted to at least give my rating and comment that I really enjoyed them.
I would definitely say that this review falls within that 5-10% of well thought out opinions that I most value -- thank you!
Beginning with the story at hand, I'm most gratified to know that you're enjoying this tale! In every piece of fiction that I write now, I try to undertake a new challenge. To some extent, I've already experimented with nonlinearity (Tijdveldt Twist), but that was intended as a flake piece where many aspects of the resolution are left to the readers' imaginations. In this piece, by contrast, I have a real, honest intention to gradually assemble the disparate pieces as a cogent narrative, but to do so in a way that clings to mystery for as long as possible -- a fun undertaking! The obvious second goal of the piece is to write an actual romance. It's easy to write about two people who are in love, but it's a fascinating undertaking to explore the tantalizing leaps of narrative that it takes to convincingly describe how two people 'discover' each other.
Finally, you raise a point that is often at the back of my mind. I often ask myself whether writing TPC, Trix and Seeker Daughter were the right investments of time -- did they serve Matt or do him a disservice(?); how many readers were glad that I offered one path to closure vs. how many were bothered because I let things (and characters) drift outside of their expectations (?); did doing so earn me a reader base that would follow me on to other projects, or would I forever pigeon-hole myself?? The jury is likely still out on some of those questions, but I have to say that the reader response for the first 2/3 of the Fuddle Fog trilogy, and now also for Splinters, does seem to suggest that I've come out on the far side in good shape -- some readers have indeed followed me into new, original worlds, and have grown to enjoy these new flavours just as they enjoyed the old.
Anyway, I'm grateful for your thoughts and for giving me a good opportunity to step back and take stock!
Reviewer: Wolfs_Scream Signed Date: 2015.08.28 - 09:34PM Title: Enemy Eyes
Things are looking rather grim for the Queen and her daughters -- and Remus is quite the fount of knowledge.
Yes indeed -- 'bad faith' is not only the root origin of his name, but also a pretty good description of his role in this story.
I'm afraid that history has consigned the queen to follow a tragic course. But perhaps some aspects of history are fluid and negotiable? Can anyone emerge from the prospective disaster with reason to forge ahead? To eventually find a measure of happiness? Time will tell.
And yes, the relationship between both protagonists and Hermione is quite spirited, and Miss Granger is not afraid to push back. There will be more character elaboration in chapter 5.
Thank you very much for your comments, and for sending me that PM with the typo-catch (since corrected)!