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SIYE Time:23:57 on 23rd January 2017

Reviews For

Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2016.05.20 - 12:02AM Title: Chapter 3: Learning to Cope, Part 1

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Interesting story. I do want to see where you take it.

I do have a problem though... In the scene Micel Sceotan (second from the bottom), the first couple of lines just don't make sense. Also there are a few places that are missing the odd word or two.

Next chapter, please.

Author's Response: Glad you like it, got another one or two establishing to go then I can consider moving to the main plot. Hoping to get at least one more chapter up before "Cursed Child" comes out. Sorry about the formating error, I thought I'd caught them all, a similar glitch prevented posting the whole chapter on SIYE in the first place. The scrambled section should read: Harry scowled at the pale, bleached-blond face that confronted him in the mirror of the dingy, public men's room of the hall. replied Rapport. said Rapport. I'm gonna try and resubmit the other section this weekend as Part 2, but if that still doesn't work then as it's not critical to the overall plot then I'll probably end up leaving out that bit on the SIYE. It is however included in fanfiction ,net's version of the chapter.

Author's Response: Ok... that still didn't work. Maybe it's the 'more than'/'less than' symbols that are the problem. I'll try something different. Harry scowled at the pale, bleached-blond face that confronted him in the mirror of the dingy, public men's room of the hall. #Squire to Observatory, Marbles just arrived.# #Copy that, accessing local surveillance and Delphi for the area.# replied Rapport. #Can you get a good spot inside?# #Not a problem, I've been hustling the local kids for pocket money for a week now. I'm part of the background.# #Excellent,# said Rapport. #Talk to you again soon.#



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2016.05.15 - 06:26PM Title: Chapter 3: Learning to Cope, Part 1

fun so far and different...all good things...kutgw



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2016.05.15 - 06:18PM Title: Chapter 3: Learning to Cope, Part 1

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I have a problem because I do not have a clue about what most of this about. I cannot believe Arthur is employed by MLE, It does not seem right. You explain what ages Harry and Ginny are in a reply to a review, but I would never have guessed from the story. If you can make cider from strawberries the world has tilted on its axis. Try to tell a story that readers of SIYE can understand - what the hell are "Rokynian sun-stones". This is not a negative review but just slow down a bit and explain who, what and where.

Author's Response: It's certainly a critical review. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but are there any elements that you liked? Confusion on the part of the reader is unfortunate, although it does also reflect Ginny's PoV on the situation as she's just learning how this new part of her world works herself. That said, I'm fine with explaining and expanded on things if it makes sense to do so: The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office (which Arthur worked in canonically, is found on Level 2 (Magical Law Enforcement) at the Ministry ("The hearing's on my floor, in Amelia Bones's office. She's Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and the one who'll be questioning you." Order of the Phoenix.) and in this fic he has less autonomy due to CoS ending differently. You may be confusing MLE (the overall department which has many different functions including the Improper Use of Magic and Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Offices) and the Aurors, Hit Wizards or Magical Law Enforcement Patrol (at least two of which are probably the same thing, but it's not always clear which). As far as the ages of the characters go, that's an interesting observation, could you expand on that a little more? Too old? Too young? Some of it might be specific to the plot in which case there's not a lot I can do, but if not I might be able to make changes. Certainly Ginny should start to become more like the Ginny of bks 5-7+ as the story progresses. Strawberries are rarely used as the only fruit in cider, it is used as one of two or more by some cider makers (Koppaberg for instance includes strawberries in four out seven (or eleven depending on how it's counted) of it's flavours). I try to make it as understandable as I can, but including non-HP elements is necessary for the crossover and while a certain amount of explosition is appropriate in the scenes from Ginny's PoV, the other characters know what their situation is so exposition wouldn't be a natural in that circumstance. Unfortunate perhaps, but that's the style I want to use. Unless it's something I made up, information on non-HP elements can usually be found on either the YJ wiki [youngjustice . wikia . com] or the DC wiki [dc . wikia. com]. As far as Rokynian sun-stones go... they're pretty much a throwaway, tho I may use them one more time, [and should actually be spelt sunstone... oops], but basically it's a version of the self-replicating crystalline material used by the Kryptonians in place of steel and similar, found on the planet Rokyn (a Kryptonian colony from the Silver Age). Hope to hear from you again, you've certainly given me 'food for thought', SH




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