Reviewer: TomBombadil Signed Date: 2018.03.08 - 01:26AM Title: Eyes and Rainbow
Please excuse me for taking so long to work through this increasingly compelling story. I was already feeling hopeful before you slipped the lovely surprise in at the conclusion of this chapter. Thank you for helping Harry (and me) push away the gloom and glimpse the magic of the rainbow!
No apologies necessary! I believe I still haven't left the intended reviews for the last chapter or two of your story, so I know where you're coming from!
And yes, the rainbow is there, with its promise. That promise may take a while to come to full fruition I must caution, but you likely know that I can't sustain angst for very long. I can do a fair job of creating it, but 'hope' is far too important to me in any story.
Anyway, I sincerely appreciate the kind words!
Reviewer: CoffeeGuy Signed Date: 2018.01.31 - 06:41AM Title: Eyes and Rainbow
Now this one is much more moody, less Splintery. Beautiful images, though I have no idea where it's heading.
Reviewer: AuntieMuriel Signed Date: 2017.11.13 - 09:22PM Title: Eyes and Rainbow
Young man, I hope you don't plan to give Molly a role in good old Britannia. She may be able to cook for a whole legion, after all, she has to feed her own brood every day, but really, such fatuous things like look into each otherís eyes to see rainbows, that's absolutely not her thing. Molly needs Arthur and her kitchen. That's where she belongs.
We're definitely on the same wavelength, Auntie M!
Molly played a fair-sized role in Splinters, largely as a skeptic, but there is no room for skepticism in this story -- it happens, and it brooks no obstacle or interference. And Molly does indeed have her hands full on other fronts at the moment.
As far as the Potter lad's urgent responsibilities, I could not agree more, although it may be the hypothetical roundness of the world (and those inconvenient horizons that creates) that is blocking his view of a clear path to getting it done. Perhaps an accident or two, and/or a Hermione, will help bend light the right way...
Kept me on my toes on this review -- thank you greatly!
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.11.13 - 06:27AM Title: Eyes and Rainbow
Wow, there are so many changes compared to the pre-version. Obviously you were pretty busy improving the even the last detail.
Actually yes -- many many changes. As editing fever struck, the woodlands vignettes kept growing in detail to the point where, to keep chapter lengths roughly comparable, I ended up moving one Hettie/Rob scene to chapter 3, leaving chapter 2 as nothing but the woods in Gaul -- a choice I ended up rather liking.
I believe it's accurate to say that there's a connection of sort between Traianius and his visitor, though not the detailed awareness and synergy that grew between Harry/Publican and Ginny/Lanossea. The big barrier is that Traianius is non-magical (or mostly), so my best analogy is perhaps how Rowling viewed Dementors' effects on Muggles -- general depression and unease, but not terror. So Traianius received a muted sense of Harry's strongest emotions, but little detail, and the reverse proves also to be true. So, with all that context, I will agree that there is a 'shift' written into the scene, but it is perhaps more of a shift in viewpoint rather than a shift in effect, if that distinction helps.
I believe that Dumbledore is correct and I do not think that Annisgwyl will remember anything of the (near closing) bower scene. However, given the extent of the edits that have been taking place, I reserve the right to change my mind. A good reviewer may be surprised to realise just how much he or she can subtly affect portions of a story that have not yet been released :)
In any case, thank you very much for engaging my brain cells!
Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2017.11.09 - 03:22PM Title: Eyes and Rainbow
Alright after reading four times, it is time for the review. Maybe fix sustantiate.....
Four times?? About as many times as I overhauled it. Dedication from a true friend, I'd say!
A true friend and/or an English professor, by the tenor and precision of your review. Cool!
So, to your (and my) main point, which is 'characters'. You make a fascinating observation (one that didn't occur to me) that every character is being viewed through the lens of other character(s), which probably does intensify the character development process -- intensified not because every opinion by one character aimed at another is accurate, but sometimes intensified because can guess at some of the inaccuracies. For example, Gemina may be fairly ticked off at Annisgwyl, but that doesn't mean that Annisgwyl and Gemina don't both earn our sympathy (something that I believe underlies the comment by Kimberly / MollyandArthur).
Anyway, the reviews for this chapter have been great fun -- thank you!
Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2017.11.09 - 06:16AM Title: Eyes and Rainbow
Powerfully written chapter! My emotions were everywhere reading this and so tangled by the time Harry's thoughts once more took over. I love the scenee where you compare the two girls, Annisgwyl and Gemina. The former a child of the Sun, the latter taking strength in the dark of a moonlit night. It will be very interesting indeed to see how their interactions develop over time, and how they impact the man/men involved.
Thank you very much for the kind re-inforcement!
Great that you're keeping an eye on the Annisgwyl-Gemina interaction, because it is definitely plot-relevant and, the issue of who's in control will crop again at important junctures.
One of the various ways that I made this story a more complex read than Splinters is that while Harry/Publican and Ginny/Lanossea were each two sides of the same coin, Harry/Traianius and Gemina/Annisgwyl are both partial mismatches. And then, of course, there's the matter of Ginny who will emerge into this complicated landscape. Anyway, to reply directly to your interest in Annisgwyl/Gemina, I think the crux is that although both are courageous and driven, Gemina is (like Ginny) more strategic and more confident, while Annisgwyl is rather trusting. The latter is so often, in both life and fiction, a no-no. But not always.
Reviewer: CoffeeGuy Signed Date: 2017.11.08 - 01:23PM Title: Eyes and Rainbow
Hey, no fair! You said there'd be no crying, but I was definitely sniffing at the end. Maybe too many peels off the onion, or else Dad is right and the writing is top notch. Regardless, I loved the analogies, and the rainbow metaphor hit me pretty hard. Good job!
Ah, well that onion / crying pun was too good to pass up, but I didn't want to be presumptuous. However, I 'think' it's heartening to hear that the rainbow resonated, and that the chapter evoked some emotion. Thank you, CoffeeGuy!
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.11.07 - 02:59PM Title: Eyes and Rainbow
Is it just me or does Gemina Wilsey remind anyone else of Ginny Weasley? If I am correct, then the black haired, green eyed Roman General would of course likely be Harrius Potterus! In reading this story, I keep getting the feeling that I have somehow stepped smack into the middle of an episode of "The Twilight Zone" (*theme music plays in background*)! Rod Serling would be proud of you for this little conundrum! It certainly helps to know that the real Harry knows or strongly believes that the real Ginny is still among the living! I must take my hat off to you for your historical acumen (COROBIīLIUM a town of Gallia(Gaul), is or was on a road from Durocortorum (Reims) to Andematunum (Langres). Gaul was western Europe including France and Belgium.)(and that's straight from Google)! Can't wait for the next chapter! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Ah yes -- historical accuracy. I do my best with that, to the tune of a reasonable amount of research. I don't get all details perfect, though, so you (and others) are invited to let me know if I get any details wrong. Several people (especially WolfScream, but I'm sure there were others) were rather helpful with Splinters.
Which brings me to your question (about Gemina Wilsey) and my question-answering question, which is: I'm guessing you haven't read Splinters? If so, I take it as a marvelous compliment that you haven't run off screaming! I suspect that this tale may start off a bit mystifying even to those who have read the first installment. Anyway, the quick response is that, yes, Gemina Wilsey is none other than everyone's favourite witch, except that she was born and raised in a terribly strife-torn Britain in which there never was a Harry Potter. Rob Wilsey's identity I believe you can now extrapolate. And Hettie Gravener (also part of this alternate-AU) is a name you can guess; she and her family were spirited away from Britain when she was 10 for their own safety. They were obliviated and sent to live in New Zealand, where Hettie was raised as a very bright muggle.
Anyway, I'm fairly certain this story would be very Twilight Zone-ish without a bit of back-story. And zany enough even 'with'.
Many thanks another very heartening review, Cosmo!
Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.11.07 - 02:52PM Title: Eyes and Rainbow
Not a lot happens, but it is a fine bit of writing.
First of all, I'm definitely heartened that you enjoyed the writing! I spent a wholly inordinate amount of time massaging that chapter, and ultimately was quite satisfied with it!
Secondly, I do promise that the story will not be all 'Waiting for Godot' exercises in mind-play. There is indeed action, intrigue and enough romance to have made one of my previewers tear up... and not even by peeling onions.