Reviewer: ellen Signed Date: 2018.02.26 - 02:26PM Title: Chapter 4
You can see why the local Muggles stay away from the Loney. It's certainly not a comfortable place to be. Nice to find out a bit more about Theia in the first part of the chapter.
Reviewer: Hank Signed Date: 2018.02.24 - 11:58AM Title: Chapter 4
Good story! I'm enjoying it and looking forward to more!
Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2018.02.23 - 01:20PM Title: Chapter 4
I felt a shiver going up my spine reading this.
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2018.02.23 - 10:21AM Title: Chapter 4
And so the plot thickens... Really good chapter, somehow I don't think Theia was imagining someone watching them - perhaps it was the mysterious "A"
Reviewer: BigFatMaybe Signed Date: 2018.02.22 - 05:51PM Title: Chapter 4
Hey there! My general thoughts: this was an excellent chapter. The intro to Theia's hidden struggles are done very well and nicely tied in to her more general introduction. Then we went to that abandoned hamlet scene and that was just as good. I love abandoned stuff, so already you had me hooked! And then the creepy figure peeking in upped that tension so well, and it really fitted the mood and make the ending super foreboding at the same time. The only critique I can think of after reading it, is maybe the jump scare. It's such a tricky thing to do in novel form. You don't have camera control, sudden sounds to use, a way to film reactions, etc. If I was an expert I could probably point out a way to improve it, make the shock and the immediately ensuing threatening feeling pop out of the pages more, but sadly I'm not :( But! I never end these on a negative note, so I'll just reiterate that this is an excellent chapter, and the story is great so far!
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2018.02.22 - 05:50PM Title: Chapter 4
Great to see a new chapter Flo! And the mystery deepens! Sounds like Theia has a pretty spiffy new pad! I agree it's strange there was no baby stuff at Marcy's place in Loney! - Wonder who this "a" is in the message and who did Theia see watching them? Strange happenings abound - hope we get some answers soon! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D