Reviewer: Aragorn Signed Date: 2018.05.04 - 11:32PM Title: Impulsive
Your reply of four good people 'seeking to be whole' is as intriguing and profound a phrase as I can recall encountering in 11 years of rather extensive fanfiction explorations. Thank you: a most worthy motif...
Pretty chuffed to earn words like those -- my sincere gratitude!
Thank *you*, Gene!
Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2018.04.26 - 01:32PM Title: Impulsive
Before I begin, to answer the Pink Floyd Money question, I would say close but instead:
Have a cigar -- of course! Something in my brain blurred over the decades and I managed to equate / conflate the two songs. But yes, that indeed is precisely the sort of slime I had in mind.
Mione? Yes, I think you are seeing a somewhat tempered version of the canonically obsessive Hermione. I think she is less aggressive (e.g., not quite to the stage of getting Firebolts conficated), but she does see things she feels strongly about, and can't quite let them be.
A bit of an understanding of what Ginny experiences will be broached in Chapter 10. Personally, I would indeed prefer to be afflicted with a dissociative Purple Haze, but I don't think that quite captures the struggle.
Yeah, I would definitely be interested in hearing some tunes! If you had sheet music or (best yet) MIDI file, that would be coolest.
Great gratitude for the thoughts and augmentations!
Reviewer: Aragorn Signed Date: 2018.04.25 - 08:55PM Title: Impulsive
It has been a fair while since I've read your work (which I have enjoyed BTW)...but there is something here in this story that feels richer, more substantive, perhaps more nuanced...I believe.
My sincere appreciation for the compliment!
The phrasing was such that I took my time in replying, as I sensed there was something semi-important that I wanted to say; something about how I felt about the story that was prompting a more careful, thoughtful approach to writing and editing.
Having slept on it, I realise that this 'something' all comes down to the four words 'seeking to be whole'. While the trappings of a JKR-inspired fantasy are draped around the edges of the story, this is truly about four good people, and their struggle with having unknowingly lost a part of themselves.
Four *people*. For all they have remarkable abilities, what makes them each special is their innately human frailty, and their commitment to nonetheless making good.
There is something in that sentiment that makes me dwell on each word and phrase to ensure that every tone and inflection is as it should.
Wonderful review, thank you!
Reviewer: TomBombadil Signed Date: 2018.04.24 - 09:44PM Title: Impulsive
Wow! Absolutely beautiful. Amazing how Harry, confronted by Mioe's sparkling eyes and great intellect, focused upon Ginny like a laser! And what grindspping lyrics!
Good observation! Currently editing chapter 5, wherein you'll get a bit more understanding of how Harry approaches females. In any case, the short-term reply is that, yes, Mione has been rather quick to win him as a friend, but the potential with Ginny (even if still sight unseen) is far deeper.
Last weekend I awoke in the middle of the night with a sudden understanding of how your observations about the ring will fit. You will get a glimpse of the answer in chapter 10.
Thank you again for your thoughts!
Reviewer: zorica Signed Date: 2018.04.24 - 08:49PM Title: Impulsive
Collective amnesia? A whole reality that exists with all these familiar characters. Please ignore my previous comments about confusion. Thatís just me and nothing to do with your writing. Sometimes I resent being made to work when reading a story if you know what I mean. I get lazy and just want it all explained now! Haha. But Iím enjoying this workout.
Ah, well yes. In that case I have to smile. Readers of my webs are always left to make lots of connections... until the end, in which case I've either ensnared you, or you've escaped.
That analogy came out far more sinister than intended. I think I need sleep :)
Anyway, your two scenarios are plausible and well-founded. Mione, perhaps, is the exception that perhaps may prove the rule though.
My hints are sometimes more obscure than my stories
Anyway, wonderful review -- thank you!
Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2018.04.24 - 05:06PM Title: Impulsive
Great chapter! I'm very glad that Ginny and Mione have each other. It sounds like Mione had a rather normal childhood and seems to remember it, while Ginny clearly has demons and her past is still a mystery. The fact that Harry and Lee don't seems to recall their pasts makes me wonder if things happened in stages. What I mean is: did Mione never participate in the magical world for some reason, but the others did for at least a portion of their formative years? I keep thinking about the Grey Veil song as well and I'm probably stretching, but - could it have anything to do with the Veil in the Department of Mysteries? Were some characters Obliviated at a different time than others and so have different past experiences? The mention of the news article about the bombing makes me think that the magical world and Death Eaters are still in existence and causing mayhem, so now I wonder who is still alive - any of the other Weasleys, Sirius, Remus, Dumbledore, Minerva, Kingsley? I don't expect any answers of course, just wondering....
First of all, thank you for the kind assessment, and secondly, I'm very glad to hear your husband is recovering well (hopefully still).
Yes, I agree sincerely that Mione and Ginny having found each other was a very happy coincidence. Hold onto that thought as the story proceeds.
Yes, Mione is alone among the primary four in having had much of the early childhood she would have known canonically. Much, but not all.
I think I will state that the Grey Veil is not exactly the same as the Dept. of Mysteries veil. As far as time line is concerned, stay tuned for that.
Bombings? Mayhem? Who's still alive? All distinctly valid questions! Within the next six chapters, you will meet two of those people you list above. Will there be more? Good question!
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2018.04.24 - 04:57PM Title: Impulsive
REVERSE THAT! IN A PURPLE FOG NOT A PURPLE HAZE! Must have been something in my water! That made me think of "Smoke on the Water" (Deep Purple 1972) (And I own a copy of the Machinhead album it was on!) :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Well, I'm hardly one to criticise anyone for putting things down backwards. My pre-edited drafts are... amusing.
So, for clarification, 'Purple Fog Side' is a Russian techno band that started recording in the mid '90s. If Mione had been a modern music scholar, she might agree with me that Purple Haze is like a bit like being sprawled across some semi-comfortable piece of furniture at 1:30 a.m. with a wry smile on your face, whereas early Purple Fog Side is perhaps more like being tied up in the dark, receiving electric shock therapy.
Smoke on the Water is very different, with intriguing images that I may have to consider incorporating. I will consider it sometime when I'm not listening to "As It Is" (active band out of U. Brighton; definitely not a Deep Purple sound.
Amazing how often the colour purple is entering into this discussion. It is clearly destined to work its way substantitively into the plot somewhere.
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2018.04.24 - 04:31PM Title: Impulsive
Judging from Lee's hangover, Harry should've had the wizarding wireless turned on playing either "Margaritaville"(Jimmy Buffett 1977) or "Alcohol" (The Kinks 1971)! Holy snack crackers?! I didn't know that Robin the Boy Wonder was in this one! Where's Batman?! Sounds like Harry has it bad for his future little redhead! Wait! Hermoine thinking the library is too quiet or bored?! Oh Lord did the world end?! All this Saturday stuff made me think of one of my favorite bands from the 70s and their song "Saturday"(Chicago 1971). So Ginny said she was in a Purple Haze instead of a Purple Fog(there it is!) - more confusion this story does not need? And neither do I! Boy, HP fanfic writers don't refer to Hermoine as brainy or bookworm for nothing! Profound and brilliant would be good adjectives for her too! AHA! "The Smith Girl" is Ginny -- WAIT! Smith? Harry working in a library? Gadzooks! Guess the band isn't paying the bills yet! Love the song he's writing for Ginny tho! Reminded me of the song "Hold Each Other (A Great Big World with Futuristic 2015)! I just knew Harry's song for Ginny would blow her socks(or her blanket on the Chesterfield) clean away! I decide the best way to answer Mione's wonder at how Harry's song materialized and close this review is with a verse from the Pilot song "Magic" :
A dry Martini for dry wit? Don't mind if I do, thanks!
Mione's attitude is a product of the gradual evolution (HBP, DH) of character nuance in Rowling canon, augmented with Mione not having the growing constraints of life-or-death rigidity, and capped off with a judicious amount of Ginny's influence. Note that I didn't say 'bad influence'. Not exactly.
Saturday in the Park! Like the song, but too placid for a head-case story. Will have to look into Pilot / Magic (I surely must have heard it, but my ears need reminding).
"Hold Each Other"! A real live Indie Pop song? You have now, officially demonstrated your versatility! Cool.
Now, on to that Martini.
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2018.04.24 - 10:18AM Title: Impulsive
Real life is crazy at the moment, so I happily took the chance to read the new instalment during a belated lunch break. It made my day.
First of all, I feel a little guilty having twisted your arm on site volunteering at just the time when things are busy for you at work. Of course we all juggle stuff, but such community contributions are greatly appreciated! In any case, I'm very glad my chapter was fodder for a nice break!
You likely didn't miss a huge amount by having dived right in. The summary is bare bones -- deliberately crafted to say quite a bit for a postage stamp abstract, and say very little beyond that. The little rhyming couplet, however, is not bad in terms of framing the key struggle. Among subsequent lyrics, most are pretty irrelevant to plot, although Grey Veil contains clues that complement the cover couplet.
Canon compliance? Let me say only that one very crucial either/or decision was made at a rather early point in the canon timeline. This story explores what might have happened if the "or" choice had been made instead of the "either".
Best wishes for surviving the teleconferences, Martin!