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Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2016.02.20 - 07:03PM Title: Chapter One: The Arrival
Very interesting start. I am curious to see what will happen next.
Reviewer: Larry Signed Date: 2010.11.06 - 08:09AM Title: Chapter One: The Arrival
So Professoe Snape is a sneaky Snape??? I look forward to your next chapter.
Reviewer: Larry Signed Date: 2010.11.06 - 07:56AM Title: Chapter One: The Arrival
A good start to what look's like a great story. Well done.
Reviewer: PzkwVIb Signed Date: 2010.11.05 - 04:37AM Title: Chapter One: The Arrival
Good first chapter. Some grammar and spelling mistakes:
You use brake where you meant break. Also you wrote:
Harry had made a habit of going on his own since Dumbledore’s death and think. He felt that this solitariness wasn’t an escape from other people, but in fact an escape from himself.
"Think" should be "thinking" and "solitariness" should be "solitude"
Author's Response: thanks sorry abotu that ill try and cut back on the grammer mistakes
Reviewer: Professor_Chris Signed Date: 2010.09.06 - 09:21PM Title: Chapter One: The Arrival
Decided to re-read this again as you have updated it, welcome back looking forward to seeing what happens.
Reviewer: griffindorechicky101 Signed Date: 2007.06.21 - 03:56PM Title: Chapter One: The Arrival
thats good when are you going to write more.
Reviewer: yitaply Signed Date: 2007.06.04 - 06:30PM Title: Chapter One: The Arrival
Not a bad start. It would make it easier to read if you were to break up the large colossal paragraphs into smaller ones since you do tend to put several ideas in one. Also, a couple of spelling a commom typos like "form" for "from". I tend to do that one alot too! Curse of the typing finger I believe. ^_^ Other than that, it looks realy good. You did a great job of portraying his emotions and I find myself wondering what is going to happen next.
Reviewer: eaglebird Signed Date: 2007.06.04 - 02:07PM Title: Chapter One: The Arrival
Nice start to a interesting story.
You have packed this first chapter already with the feeling of romance, drama, angst, adventure and mystery. The depth of Harry's feelings comes through when he first meets Aunt Petunia. She really is an enigma and I have to wonder what final twist JKR gives her in DH. So what have yo got planned? You've got the hook into me and I'll look forward to your next instalment.
Reviewer: knightsbridge Signed Date: 2007.06.04 - 11:55AM Title: Chapter One: The Arrival
First fic? No need to be gentle...it's the beginning of a great story.
Acuple of spelling errors, but I'm hardly one to talk, since my brain seems to work faster than my fingers.
I doubt Aunt Petunia would look at Harry with "content"...contempt maybe? I think Miss Weasley should have been Mrs. (as in Molly). and Even though break DOES mean slow down or stop, you may have meant "break." Small stuff that didn't effect the wtory at all. I have learned, while doing papers, etc., that spell check doesn't catch it all. If it's a recognised word in the dictionary it accepts it, and you have to read it over again to make sure you have what you want.
I thought the chill and fog was going to be a dementor visitation.
Not terribly pleased with Dumblesore, dead or not...the wards were supposed to last until Harry was of age. Only Dumbledore can put Hary at risk from the beyond. Get the idea I'm not fond of Dumbledore? You would be spot on. I almost chucked book 6 through the window when he made Harry feed him the poison. I know he had a reason, but Hrry had enough guilt already to light up Heathrow.
Looking forward to reading more of your writing...soon?
Darian
