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Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2017.01.25 - 06:02AM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
The interplay between the three girls at the end was wonderful. I am curious to see how quickly Ginny will learn what is really going on and that she has Veela heritage.
Author's Response: Thanks--I always wonder if I'm going all right writing girls' stories.
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2016.11.18 - 07:14AM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
Wow, another wonderful chapter. I loved it, the slapstick scene in particular at the Rav's table.
Author's Response: Glad you liked the humor--I find it hard to write slapstick, so I wasn't sure it would come across well.
Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2014.05.05 - 04:49PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
Hi Robert,
Per your request, I'll be happy to do a bit of digging and forward some recommendations to you. To be honest, comedic action is a definitely more challenging to write than comedic dialog, but a formula that I've found to be helpful is to write your comedic action sequences with a voice and style very similar to what you would use for dramatic action or passion. In this construct, the only difference between good comedy and good drama/passion, is the imagery: silly, instead of serious.
Since you're one of the best writers on the site in constructing dramatic and passionate sequences, the comedy should come naturally to you as long as you don't try to force it.
Just for the fun of it, I'm going to send you a private message containing my own take on your Ravenclaw table scene, in which I try to emulate and interject some DukeBrymin-style action into the comedic sequence. I had to embellish a bit to make it flow. Please feel free to adapt or discard however you wish.
- Gerry
Author's Response: Thanks
Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2014.03.22 - 10:21AM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
Five stars on principle! That said, however, the Ravenclaw dinner table debacle doesn't live up to its enormous comic potential. The best fragments of the sequence are the soon-to-be-disabused silent reveries of Michael and Neville, but they are bound up with less cerebral play-by-play. To me, the latter doesn't quite say "OMG, this is hilarious!" Instead it says, "Wow, I bet a camera crew could have a field day with this." ............... I'm sure you have lots of other things going and experimenting with a nearly 4 year old chapter might not be a high priority, but I wonder what you might be able to pull off with that sequence as pure 'stream of conscious' interchange between the key players?
Author's Response: I wasn't horribly pleased with it either--one of my current failings is inability to write comedic sequences well. I'd love some advice about it--or perhaps a pointer to a good one that you've read that I could learn from.
-duke
Reviewer: matthunt101 Signed Date: 2010.10.10 - 06:59PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
This story is amazing. I don't usually write reviews, but this story is just amazing. I can't wait to continue reading it. Keep up the good work!
:)
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that you're enjoying it enough to let me know.
Reviewer: Tindual Signed Date: 2010.10.10 - 08:03AM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
I find that I'm greatly anticipating Ginny meeting Harry the next morning as well. What wonderful things I'm sure you'll hae in store for us. Thanks again for sharing and chosing to write the story and not let this little plot bunny fester in your brain until it decided to go to plot bunny heaven!
Author's Response: Yes, Ginny and Harry still have some 'splainin' to do. It'll be fun (in my opinion).
Reviewer: mdauben Signed Date: 2010.09.02 - 09:42PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
This is a great AU take on the Harry/Ginny releationship, with some interesting twists. I'm really looking forward to seeing where you go with revealing Harry's history, Ginny's history, their relationshp and the very AU "Goblet of Fire" storyline.
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it--I'm looking forward to writing those parts too. I think they'll be very enjoyable.
Reviewer: Theresa Signed Date: 2010.08.28 - 09:39PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
Hi! I must find a way to get notices of your updates. I read the fic some time ago and just found the new chapter tonight by chance. my email is jeannetaylor@rogers.com. Please, will you notify me of updates. I love this unique fic. It is really great. Thanks loads, Jeanne.
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it, thanks! I sent you an email personally to tell you of some of the better ways to get notifications.
Reviewer: Stephen Signed Date: 2010.08.16 - 04:30PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
This is one of my favorite stories out there. Can't wait to see more!
Author's Response: High praise indeed, thanks!
Reviewer: Duelist Signed Date: 2010.08.15 - 08:33PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
Hi. Just caught up with your story, and I really only have one thing to say: MOAAAR!!!!!!
Good stuff. Love it.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you're liking it, thanks!
Reviewer: Prof McGonagall Signed Date: 2010.08.15 - 04:22PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
Very cool developments! So glad you updated! Please update again SOON!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it!
Reviewer: Seritha Signed Date: 2010.08.14 - 07:32PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
SWEET! I mean i seriously was so xcited to see this and as i"m sick today it totally made my night!!!!
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it, especially in your time of distress!
Reviewer: st122 Signed Date: 2010.08.14 - 12:02PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
A lot happened here, I enjoyed the shakespeare scene. I am really interested to see where this is going. From this chapter, I assume there is going to be some pranking. The whole great hall kissing scene was great. Hope to read more soon!
Author's Response: Thanks for commenting. I thought this was a good chapter for the plot too. I want there to be some fun pranks and such, but that all depends on my ability to think of something good, rather than just juvenile.
Thanks again!
Reviewer: HGRHfan35 Signed Date: 2010.08.14 - 11:59AM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
Darlin' you have got to be kiddin' me!
You do humour very well but this was just a bit different than usual.
I love dry humour very much and am not so much into the slap-stick style. That isn't to say that it did not make me smile, big time. Probably even snorted! :D
And why oh why do some people want you to change things....and halve your stars in the process *sniffs indignantly*
*gives you comfort hugzzzzzz*
C
Author's Response: Ah, thank you for your further comments. It makes me happy to hear more from you! Don't worry--I'm sure we'll get some more of the dry humor sometime (I hope).
Reviewer: Alex_Cat Signed Date: 2010.08.14 - 12:54AM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
Finally, I have waited forever for your update. Loved this story, and great AU I dare say. I laughed when I read this story and my sister kind a freak out when she heard me laughed around midnite. I showed her this story and she loved it, and she is hooked with your story.
I also read the review and some of them didn't really understand that this site is a fanfiction, it meant the writer can write whatever come in their mind. I hope you just keep going, because you got fans like n my sister who love yoyur story.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words--it really makes me happy that you are enjoying it (and that your sister is too). I do apologize for the long waits between chapters--I want to write them more quickly, but Real Life does tend to get in the way occasionally. And I don't want to rush this one--it's too precious to me now.
Thanks again!
Reviewer: huey2 Signed Date: 2010.08.13 - 11:07PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
Unless it is central to the plot, please refrain from inserting historical figures (such as Shakespeare) as wizards. Doing such actually detracts from the story instead of adding to it.
Author's Response: I'm sorry you feel that way. But, I'm not going to make any promises.
Reviewer: harryluvsginny Signed Date: 2010.08.13 - 09:32PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
You're such an amazing writer. And this is such a lovely story. I can't wait to see where this goes.
Author's Response: Golly, now I'm blushing. Thanks!
Reviewer: dshadel Signed Date: 2010.08.13 - 09:09PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
Great chapter, its good to see a new chapter of this one. loved the little seen in the great hall at lunch. can't wait for the next one
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it. I liked the Great Hall scene too.
Reviewer: seekers_destiny Signed Date: 2010.08.13 - 06:57PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
ROTFL!
Although I'm not normally a patient person, this chapter was worth the wait! I would recover from one funny moment and you'd hit me with another. Top marks!
errata:
His calm voiced worked to soothe
His calm voice worked to soothe
showing no indication that she'd even see his look
showing no indication that she'd even seen his look
Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! I tried to let my humor gene out, and wasn't sure whether it was very successful.
And thanks for the typo-smashing--I've corrected those that you mentioned.
Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2010.08.13 - 06:51PM Title: Chapter 11, The First Evening
All the girls need to put the book down and enjoy the ride...as for Ron well he would wake up just now makes sence...as for hermione well it makes sence to be with nevelle...kutgw
Author's Response: Thanks for your comments, I appreciate them immensely.
