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Reviewer: mcepl Signed Date: 2017.10.08 - 02:44AM Title: It Takes Two
Even though I mark this just as an "Acceptable", I am glad I have reread this story again. I felt unsure, why I don’t like it much, and while breaking my head over it I think I finally found out why I don't like most similar "chick" stories (e.g., "H&G got pregnant", "How H asked The Question" … although your version certainly Exceeds very low Expectations I had). There is no satisfaction from these stories for me, because there is no story, there is no tension.
We know from almost the first sentence (OK, it is a third of very short paragraphs to be precise) they are pregnant. They may be hesitant to admit it, but we are not. We know. Besides, you wouldn't write a story if it was a false alarm. There is no story, because there is no pain in the very widest meaning of the word, because there is no conflict.
Perhaps I would explain better what I mean if I tell you, what I was thinking would make this interesting story for me. First rough minimal change to the story which came to my mind (leading however to many other changes) would be what if Terry (or some Disposable Auror or a Sheriff or a Hit Wizard, added just for this purpose, if you have your plans with Terry), was actually KIA or at least seriously maimed (that poisoned hand is just useless for life). Now there is a situation we could work with. Harry stands in the hospital over his (or her, even better!) bed with the letter that he is a father in his pocket! What would he think? How he could deal with the situation? Or variant of the same: Harry finds out the Disposable Auror succumbed to his/her injuries in the hospital in the moment he enters that restaurant for celebration (this is in the time they have Mirrorphones, isn't it?). How can he deal with the news? Will he be able to overcome the blow and reach some soppy conclusion how life is more important than death or something? Now I am sitting on the edge of my chair and I am interested in the story!
Author's Response: Thanks for the epic review. -N-
Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2017.01.15 - 04:58PM Title: It Takes Two
Lovely story! I'm a bit torn between thinking that Harry should not have planned the party and thinking that it's wonderful he did. The discussion about baby names was quite amusing!
Author's Response: Thanks
Most reviewers seem to feel the same way. You're right, but Harry isn't perfect. I really enjoyed writing the names discussion.-N-
Reviewer: cai2015525 Anonymous Date: 2015.05.24 - 10:10PM Title: It Takes Two
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Author's Response: ?
Reviewer: gemz1313 Signed Date: 2012.06.23 - 04:10PM Title: It Takes Two
Love it!
No more can be said. Fantastic story!
Author's Response: Thank you. -N-
Reviewer: sunnyseaforever Signed Date: 2012.05.05 - 11:00PM Title: It Takes Two
I liked the baby name discussion that they had. And I find the surprise dinner sweet of Harry to have arranged for Ginny.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I know how difficult agreeing on names can be -N-
Reviewer: RedHeadGin Signed Date: 2011.09.17 - 11:20AM Title: It Takes Two
Lovely story. So sweet of Harry arranging a surprise party for Ginny.
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. -N-
Reviewer: pottermania Signed Date: 2011.03.24 - 08:11PM Title: It Takes Two
Lovely story. I enjoyed the first person narrative.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I am using first person more and more.
-N-
Reviewer: Gemma Signed Date: 2010.12.21 - 08:46PM Title: It Takes Two
I don't know. To be honest, the problem I have with this fic is the same one I've had with many of your stories: The H/G dynamic seems really off to me. So many of your fics involve Ginny misbehaving and Harry chastising her for one thing or another -- getting a pregnancy test without his knowledge in this particular fic, wearing a tight vest at a party and later having the audacity to feel insecure about Cho in another fic, and the whole, cringe-inducing "drunk and disorderly behaviour" in yet another of your fics. It just... doesn't seem right to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying Ginny doesn't have faults or that their relationship should be presented as perfect at all times. Of course not!
But I guess I would find it more realistic, and more true to how their relationship is presented in canon, if it was more a mutual thing, where they helped each other learn and grow from their mistakes, instead of one of them always messing up and the other always being the one to set them straight (after all, canon makes it pretty clear that Harry can certainly be a bit of an idiot and sometimes needs setting straight, too). As it is, I get the impression from your version of H/G of Ginny always having to be the foolish, contrite girl who gets put in her place, while Harry always gets to be the patient, noble boyfriend who teaches his silly little girlfriend/fianceé/wife a lesson. It's off-putting, or at least it is to me.
I hope my comments aren't discouraging or offensive to you. Your writing excels in many ways, not least of which is your excellent plotting and your ability to create interesting OCs. Even my issue with the H/G dynamic in your fics really just boils down to a personal preference on my part. It's just that they're my OTP, and when I read a fic where their relationship seems really... off (to me), it takes me out of the fic. Good luck with your writing, though.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the thought provoking comments.
I think that you may be right that I have been concentrating on Ginny’s bad points in some (but not) all of my stories. Perhaps I’ve been listening to those Ginny-bashers on another site who claim that Ginny is nothing but a Mary-Sue. Perhaps I’ve been over-compensating by making her more flawed than necessary. However, that site has banned me, so I can now re-evaluate.
In this particular story it was obvious (I thought) that Ginny made her decision at the last possible minute, after Harry had left to go to work. That’s not misbehaviour (at least I don’t think that it is), nor is it foolish. I certainly don’t think that in this particular story “Ginny always having to be the foolish, contrite girl who gets put in her place, while Harry always gets to be the patient, noble boyfriend who teaches his silly little girlfriend/fianceé/wife a lesson.” Harry is not entirely blameless and there was really no need for him to take the action he did.
In Aurors and Schoolgirls, the “vest” was a mistake. We all make them, and, in my opinion, Harry was hardly blameless in that incident. The insecurity about Cho in the latest chapter of Aurors and Schoolgirls was, I now believe, a mistake on my part. It was pointed out by another reviewer (who I’ve just replied to), see my detailed reply.
The “cringe-inducing drunk and disorderly behaviour” in Hunters and Prey is definitely out of character for Ginny. It is meant to be and is, in fact, an important part of the plot.
I’m very well aware that Harry can, and does, make mistakes and I’m rather concerned that you think that he is only portrayed as patient and noble.
I’d argue that, in “Grave Days” it is Harry who is wallowing in self pity and nerves and Ginny who brings him out of it. The only really negative review I received for that story (not on this site) suggested that Harry was too much of a wimp and needed to “man-up.”
-N-
Reviewer: potternut190 Signed Date: 2010.11.22 - 04:13PM Title: It Takes Two
I love the name explanation!
Author's Response: Thank you. -N-
Reviewer: pippan121 Signed Date: 2010.03.13 - 08:46PM Title: It Takes Two
But does Ginny learn not to keep secrets? This was nice.
Author's Response: Good question. I think that she'd argue that she wasn't keeping secrets. Her trip to St Mungo's was a last minute decision, and she didn't want to get Harry's hopes up. -N-
Reviewer: ladymblack Signed Date: 2010.03.05 - 12:11AM Title: It Takes Two
Okay, so I'm clearly smitten here. Since finishing Grave Days I've taken the time to read everything you've written on here and although I'm not all that much of a fan of fanfiction.net, I may just look you up there too for the ones you listed in your profile. You're a fantastic writer, giving so much in terms of interesting detail and emotion.
I probably wouldn't have objected to a two or three chapter version of this little ditty...then again, I have the feeling that you'll be one of those authors that I follow even if I'm not sure I'll enjoy a particular story.
The essence of this challenge certainly had me intrigued, but I think my readers might have tried to shoot me if I'd gone off track from getting another chapter of my own work out. Being a reader myself I know just how demanding we can be!
Anyway, moving on to "First Sight." See ya there.
No real need to say you got an "O" on this NEWT?
Author's Response: Thank you. I’m not that much of a fan of fanfiction.net myself, but I’m new to this writing lark and it was an easy option when “Fred and George” was rejected from this site. If you know of somewhere better, please let me know. As a site, fanfiction.net is rather like diving for pearls in sewage. This story could have been longer, the “Auror Office” section kept on growing but it was straying away from the challenge fic requirements (it’s not particularly close anyway – it has most of the right elements, but not always in the order suggested). Time constraints plus a desire to finish Grave Days curtailed it. -N-
Reviewer: Red Headed Witch Signed Date: 2010.03.03 - 12:53PM Title: It Takes Two
Rakhi is used as first name, not surname.
Author's Response: Ah, I thought that I'd researched it. I was sure that I'd researched it, but now I can't find my notes. Any suggezstions for a chance (if you're an expert). just pm me. )-: -N-
Reviewer: BennettPotter Signed Date: 2010.02.26 - 12:42AM Title: It Takes Two
Thanks - that was a lot of fun. I enjoyed the alternating POVs. I absolutely loved Harry's discussion of parenthood with Ginny while he knew the big news and she didn't. Glad to see Teddy in the story too.
Author's Response: Thanks – The alternating POVs was a bit of an experiment, but I’m reasonably happy with the way it came out. -N-
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2010.02.24 - 12:07PM Title: It Takes Two
very amusing, well done
good luck in the challenge
Author's Response: Thanks (-: I find it hard work writing to order! -N-
Reviewer: JadeYan Signed Date: 2010.02.23 - 09:58PM Title: It Takes Two
love it! thank you!
Author's Response: You're welcome. (-:
