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SIYE Time:19:29 on 19th November 2017


Reviewer: Brennus Signed Date: 2017.11.12 - 04:21PM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

Sainsbury’s plastic bags are indeed crap. I’m not sure why out of that interesting and detailed chapter that’s the only thing I want to comment on but there you go.



Reviewer: mcepl Signed Date: 2017.11.04 - 10:50AM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

After re-listening to this chapter once again, I finally figured out what is the problem I have with it. Every this non-Jacquie chapter chips-off a bit from the Aristotle / Racin Classical unities of the action, time, and place. Each of them takes away a bit from the central story seen through Jacqui’s eyes of “lovely although a bit strange neighbours who moved to Drakeshaugh”.

Take the chapter of the Polly Protheroe’s funeral. Yes, it would be a lovely one-shot and yes, I suspect that you want to make a trio of she-werewolf, she-vampire, and she-ghost Aurors (á la “Being Human”? Just guessing, I have never seen the series here), and that you had a lot of fun with it. However, why should we as readers of the “Strangers at Drakeshaugh” know about it? Why you cannot make it into special M.I.T.-style shorter story? What does that chapter bring to the story of Jacqui? From my point of view if the story was just “Potters go somewhere to funeral, they return, nothing has changed, and bing, suddenly there is a ghost”, it would be better for the story. I think, we should be surprised as well. How could Jacquie deal with ghosts? Will she decide to be crazy? Will she confront Potters? Will she make a link to the pendane she has on her neck? Will Mike get weird that his wife got into spiritism (that is how he would see it, right)? What if the situation gets even more crazy? All those would be interesting questions to investigate, but none of them requires us to know anything more than she does.

Or this chapter of story narrated through police interrogation protocols. This would be again a lovely idea for one-shot (well, you did it once in “Tales of the Battle”), it is very original framing of the story, it would satisfy our curiosity (too little!), but what does it bring to the whole story? We should learn about this background story (if ever) only when Jacquie does.

If you really really have to tell us about the wizarding background, then you can make it to two intertwined stories á la “Hunters and Prey” (although I was really not sure about that idea even there), but for that you should probably start a way earlier than in the chapter twenty (“Thirty” and “Three Families” were probably still in-story enough to be considered part of the Jacquie story), and that second story should have some coherence on its own (make it into story of Bobbie as at least half-Muggle, who may eventually be a bridge towards true Muggles Charltons? Why not, there is never enough of Bobbie as far as I am concerned ;)).

I really like “Strangers”, I believe it is one of the best fan-fictions I have ever been reading, and so it hurts more when I can see an obvious problem with it.



Reviewer: TomBombadil Signed Date: 2017.10.20 - 04:12AM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Fascinating decisions with this chapter, and you remind me how demonstrably differently individual authors elect to handle their material. Having reached what appeared to a penultimate point of conflict, if not the penultimate point, instead of orchestrating a crescendo immediately to your ultimate climax, you give us an interlude. It is an interlude that could have been handled with a conversation between Harry and Ginny, or even third hand between Ginny and Jacqui, you decided to go into elaborate detail. This is fitting with the leisurely pacing of the story from start to wherever we are! It is, of course, very well done, although I am left with the sneaking suspicion that the devil sitting on your left shoulder triumphed over the angel who is perched upon your right! Gutsy call to conclude the previous chapter with a resounding bang, this one strolls along in the intricate details. It is good, however, to understand the rationale and methodologies of the perpetrator and his accomplices, both witting and unwitting!i look forward to reading the resumption of the Ginny/Jacqui narrative! Thank you!



Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2017.10.19 - 03:30PM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Well then, that was wholly unexpected. Those prisoners under arrest, lock 'em up and throw away the key(sic). Outstanding writing, as always N.



Reviewer: ngayonatkailanman Signed Date: 2017.10.19 - 01:13AM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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PI have to read each report piece by piece. Great job for a boring, routinedmin duty. You do know how to tell a study.... Hats off to you! Now, how about an update to Jackie’s royal next morning headache!



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2017.10.18 - 07:17PM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Very interesting! Its great getting so many updates so close together! You have a very clear view of the Ministry and it's inner workings, it makes your stories very easy to follow and very enjoyable. Now that the mystery is wrapping up, I can't wait to see what happens back at home. Explaining away a ghost would be difficult.



Reviewer: rbrt_emmer Signed Date: 2017.10.18 - 02:12PM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Despite the fact that you interrupt last chapter's huge cliffhanger with paperwork, I actually quite enjoyed this interlude. Your looks into Auror procedure are always fascinating.



Reviewer: freshwater Signed Date: 2017.10.18 - 01:23PM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Fascinating! I can't wait to see how this information interweaves with the children at Drakeshaugh!



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.10.18 - 09:44AM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Makes a lot of things clear, but still leaves the reader on the edge of the seat from the previous chapter.



Reviewer: mcepl Signed Date: 2017.10.18 - 08:53AM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Very good, lovely how you can convey drama of the story in the seemingly tasteless police reports.

BTW, I have long suspected you have at least some level of legal education (when reading about Annie’s class of the Foundations of International law I was thinking about my endless with the International Private Law; although, I hope poor girl studies more the International Public Law, no person should be submitted to the choice of law rules while dealing with personal issues). So, are you yet another confirmation that most of the culture in the world is created by the failed lawyers? (/me being a one: with two law degrees from two countries, I am a very happy computer programmer).



Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2017.10.18 - 08:24AM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Brilliant update! I love the way you used the paperwork and interviews to further this story. The dry humor interspersed was a welcome relief from the overall depressing picture being painted.



Reviewer: ykirirn Signed Date: 2017.10.18 - 06:19AM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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God... I just realised that I've been following this story more than a year now! I just want you to congratulate you for the good work and delight us with 2 chapters in 1 month. It keep us on the cliffhanger.

As I can see this story is going to get along with the partner story James and Me that I'm also following.

Thanks for all, now that we know the murderer name and that obviously the Charltons will be obliviated. think that the story is getting to it's end... :( Please tell me that we still have Strangers in Drakeshaug for long time!!!

Also as I know that you're an English grammar, spelling and accent addict just want to say sorry for my bad grammar, this is not my native language, but had been several times in the UK and living on London 1 year so I'm able to defend myself pretty well (i think?)



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.10.18 - 04:57AM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

The one thing everyone hates about dealing with investigations is the paper work.....kutgw



Reviewer: fi103r Signed Date: 2017.10.17 - 08:38PM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Man this gets deep fast.
How did that moron Francis get hired?

Aargh

Keep up the good work!



Reviewer: Rosina Ferguson Signed Date: 2017.10.17 - 07:40PM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Oh how this remibds me of the multitude of court docs I used to prepare as a legal secretary. Very convincingly written and easy to follow. I kept transposing an older Harry's face over that of Gibbs from NCIS! Weird but it worked.



Reviewer: lunagranger Signed Date: 2017.10.17 - 06:20PM Title: Interlude: Paperwork

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Only you can make us be excited about "boring" paperwork. So that's how the murders happened. Although their reason is still not clear. Mr. Fawley pureblood agenda (his complete despise of muggles) and the killing of the Hume brothers' parents by Greyback must have anything to do with that, but how Pelias became insane and Jason so promptly agreed to help him is not clear. I hope we can learn more about it. Though it doesn't seem much likely to happen through Jaqui's eyes.
Is Angela Weasley Angelina?




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