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Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2015.12.14 - 03:42PM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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Enjoyed the conversation between Harry and the sorting hat. This is certainly a dark Hogwarts, but since Albus is rather cruel and evil in this story, I suppose it is not really surprising. The butterfly effect has seemed to have a generally positive impact on Harry's life, and a rather horrid impact on just about everyone else.

Author's Response: See, this is why all butterflies should be squashed on sight! (err... not really)



Reviewer: riegert8 Signed Date: 2014.06.20 - 08:48PM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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No Review



Reviewer: dseay Signed Date: 2013.03.26 - 07:37PM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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I have only just read this entire story up until this point and have to say I am totally enthralled by it. Love the differences and cannot wait to see how you bring the Harry/Ginny together. Right now, now really caring too much for Ron but that's ok. Great job, keep up the good work! Looking forwaard tomore.

Author's Response: Glad you’re enjoying it. Circumstances and shared history should start bringing Harry and Ginny slowly together, starting in the next chapter. I don’t think anyone likes Ron at the moment and they might like him even less in coming chapters. But don’t judge him completely until the end, that’s all I’ll say.



Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2013.03.26 - 06:07AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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I am so glad that Harry has finally made his way to Hogwarts.
He would have had so much fun if the hat had put him in Slytherins. But I am glad he made him follow his parents into Gryffindor. It seems like the Gryff's need a bit of 'sorting out' also. (Actually, alot of the school does, including some of the professors).
I think he has worked out Hermione already after just the starting feast.
Can't wait till the next chapter. Is he going to confront Dumbledore about the memory block??

Author's Response: Hmm, another question about Harry confronting Dumbledore about the memory block. All I’ll say is that at this point Harry still needs the old man. He knows he can’t fight Voldemort by himself and he needs Dumbledore’s knowledge and resources. Notice that I said ‘at this point’. Things might change.



Reviewer: hot48cricket Signed Date: 2013.03.26 - 01:18AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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Oh, I hope Harry finds out it was Dumbledore who put that memory block on and why!!! Here's hoping that Harry puts a stop to all of Prat Ron's nonsense....not that I want them to be friends!!!!

Slytherin's watch out!!!!

Author's Response: Harry and Ron will have a friendly little chat in the very next chapter. As for Dumbledore… I’m not saying.



Reviewer: Enchanted Signed Date: 2013.03.25 - 01:35PM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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Because I am such an avid or maybe the word I should use is rabid Ginny fan I didn't want to start this story until she made her appearance. Firstly, thanks for the warning when you first started posting it was very astute and considerate of you considering the site you chose to publish this story and it made a great difference to me personally. I would most definitely have been one of the reviewers whinging on and on about "Where is Ginny?" and I'm sure you've had plenty of that to deal with.

I am one of those readers that will give a writer the benefit of the doubt on the direction and characterization of their story and given that many of your characters are wildly out of character you've done a good job in presenting the situations that created the difference in the characters behavior, with the exception of Dumbledore who is much more Machiavellian than in canon. Dumbledore is a very fine line though and quite difficult to write given that the plot holes in canon sometimes don't coincide with his words and actions in the series. That said while your Ginny is much weaker than the canon Ginny her circumstances being what they are I can see how she'd be much more beat down than the Ginny we are familiar with.

Racketeer Ron is quite unique and reprehensible. Some reviewers were appalled some weren't even bothered by it and applauded his entrepreneurship. He justified his actions by sending money home to his parents, was blatantly calloused to his sister attending Hogwarts in ragged clothes while he purchased nice clothes for himself and was either willfully ignorant or severely self-centered not to be aware that his sister is being bullied while he has trysts in broom cupboards. I can totally see Reliable, Resolute Ron (though given canon Ron's behavior in GoF and DH he's shown not to be so Reliable or Resolute but rather Unreliable and Resentful) turn into Racketeer Ron without Harry's influence given the circumstances he's been given.

I like cocky, self assured Harry. Canon Harry could be quite funny and cheeky when the circumstances called for it and given his background I can completely see the Harry you've created. JKR in PS/SS gave us a forewarning of the Harry we could expect when the Sorting Hat said he had the qualities that would shine in each of the houses; courage, hard-working, ambitious and clever and then squandered all of those possibilities by being dumb-ed down by having Hermione do all his thinking and followed in Ron's footsteps by being a lazy lackadaisical student. So I'm quite enjoying your Harry.

I think my only concern is how the relationship between Harry and Ginny will progress given that even though Harry is physically 17 years old he has the experiences of a man who not too many chapters ago seduced, killed and was tempted by Belaltrix Lestrange while Ginny is by all accounts the school girl that just last term put a picture of Harry on her bedpost to watch over her. It's a fine line that needs to be carefully walked if it's going to be plausible and realistic. To some extent it would be like a teacher hitting on a student.

I can't wait to see all the characters whose behavior has been up to this point unchecked, calloused and abusive receive their comeuppance, it should be a hoot. I hope to see Harry (and Ginny for that matter) champion the disenfranchised and abused students and that he gives all the professors not just Dumbledore and Snape a severe set down for allowing the behavior to flourish. Luna in particular was heartbreaking and I am looking forward to the direction you take her in this story. That is enough rambling for one review, sorry for the long diatribe.

I am looking forward to the next chapters quite anxiously. Thanks for sharing your story.

Author's Response: I just had to warn everyone of Ginny’s non-appearance for so long. I’ve seen stories where the author has left her out for just a few chapters and received an avalanche of complaints. My beta Tom told me I was mad doing this way… and he was right. I see no point in writing an AU story unless you play around with the characters. The trick is to make them just recognisable enough that you do connect them with the canon characters. Dumbledore is the prime example here; I‘ve tried to keep all his mannerisms and use of language while grossly exaggerating his (alleged) deviousness. I take on board what you say about the difference in Harry and Ginny‘s level of experience and worldliness. Hopefully I’ve shown (and will continue to do) that the ‘true’ Ginny is lurking not too far under the surface. I’ll try to build their relationship gradually (but not that gradually as I have only 9 full chapters and an epilogue to go!) but it is a fine line. No doubt by the end some people will say I’ve created a partnership of equals while some will say I’ve underplayed Ginny too much. I hope not as she will be pretty kick-arse by the end, as one major character will find to his extreme cost. Harry certainly will be tackling all the issues at Hogwarts but will not be doing it entirely alone. Let’s just say he finds a way to ‘encourage’ the other pupils to stand up for themselves. I suspect people will dislike what I’ve done to Luna even more than my early treatment of Ginny, but once again, she’ll receive some help and ultimately get a bit of payback.



Reviewer: Birlan Signed Date: 2013.03.25 - 01:14PM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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I liked the chapter. I think that your Ginny's arc makes sense. There is an ugly duckling aspect to her story. And since Swans are really aggressive birds under their attractive mature plumage, that's a pretty good metaphor for her.

I look forward to seeing how all the issues get sorted out. For example, does Harry act on the information he now has about Slytherin House. Does he act against Snape, who based on that nicely done scene between the three amigas, is even less concerned about non-Slytherin students than in canon. Does he ever decide that Dumbledore is the enemy? If he finds out about sending Sirius and Remus ot their death maybe. If Harry finds out that Dumbledore didn't pay attention to the students at Hogwarts, maybe not? One is intent and one is negligence. I think Harry knows the difference. If Harry finds out that Dumbledore ignored Ginny's situation, is that really Dumbledore's doing or is it her family's fault.

And what about Ron the Blackmarket King. Over-protectiveness towards a younger sibling is not the worst crime. Although I would be more impressed with his over-protectiveness if he was watching out for Ginny vis-a-vis the Slytherins and less about boys who might actually treat her well.

As for Hermione, it is easy to wonder about what she would have been like without Harry--and I like how you have shown it here.

Thanks again and I look forward to reading more and finding out how those issues work out. It seems like it could be a very big surprise for many people when Ginny gets a functioning wand.



Author's Response: Oh, I like that; ugly duckling. A metaphor, of course, as Ginny is devastatingly beautiful (in my mind). Obviously, I can’t answer all your questions as I would be giving the plot away and then there would be no point in anyone reading the rest of the story, and then I’d cry. Trust me, it’s a horrid thing to see a forty something man blubbing because no one’s reading his Harry Potter fan fiction. You really don’t want that on your conscience, do you?



Reviewer: waywardkitty42 Signed Date: 2013.03.25 - 09:06AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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OK. I'll admit that I'm a little disappointed that Harry and Ginny aren't already exiting the Great Hall on a white horse, but I concede that your way is probably more in-character. Mostly, it just drags out the feeling of anticipation for the next chapter.

Author's Response: I hate horses. I think it all stems from when I was a small boy and a New Forest pony tried to eat my hair. I had a girlfriend once who had her own horse and that bloody thing hated me. To this day I’m amazed I didn’t end up with a hoof in the face at some point. Oh, and at Wilton point to point once a horse threw its rider and what did it do? Yup, headed straight for me! I had to hide behind a tree! I tell you, all this stuff about finding horse meat in beef is no problem for me – I’m with the French. Horses should be eaten. Err… what was the question again?



Reviewer: ErikArden Signed Date: 2013.03.25 - 01:07AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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Ok...I've just spent the last 6 hours reading through this all the way. way to kill off all the cannon deaths so far...but early (and without allowing for Teddy to come into the picture). But still like this so far. Another point...Ron's an ass, but it's believable unlike so many stories I've read that has him be a pain for no reason other than the author said it was so. :/ Continue the good work!

~ErikArden

Author's Response: Sorry about Teddy, but I killed off Tonks at that point for a reason. Her unfulfilled relationship with Remus was a fine example to Harry of the perils of pushing people away for their own protection. In the end Remus realised he’d wasted whatever time the two of them could have had together and that he’d just made them both miserable for nothing. That’s a lesson I think Harry’s taken on board. I have been accused of writing Ron exactly the way you describe (although as far as I’m concerned he’s naturally a bit of a knob anyway) so I wanted to give him a bit more depth here. I figured that the twins would become his role-models without Harry and Hermione in his life and he’s followed their rather relaxed attitude to rules, admittedly in a more extreme way. We’ll see a lot more of Ron to come.



Reviewer: SYLVELLE Signed Date: 2013.03.24 - 05:38PM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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Yay, Harry is at Hogwarts. Good chapter, a little more Harry and Ginny would have been good. But at least she will be with them on the tour. More please, soon?
Tricia

Author's Response: I did wonder if anyone would feel a bit cheated about the short period of time Harry and Ginny had together after all the build-up. Rest assured, from this point onwards it’s pretty much all H/G. Let’s face it, after keeping everyone waiting for 20 chapters for them to get together, doing anything else is likely to get me lynched.



Reviewer: lunagranger Signed Date: 2013.03.24 - 03:21PM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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I've been lurking around this story, because I loved your previous one a lot. At the beginning it was OK, but I slowly began to think your Harry was too heroic and not very huma. But then your Ginny chpters began and I really think your Ginny is a very weak character. I always try to begin reading out of habit, but it gets worse and worse. Sorry, if Rowling's Ginny was more similar to your Ginny I would have never become a HG fan. I'm trying not to be too derisive. You write action well, but you really have to improve your characters, particular your female characters. Your Ginny is the worsk kind of damsel in distress I have ever seen and othing like the strong, fierce, funny character I love form the books.

Author's Response: My beta Tom agrees with you that I’ve made Ginny too weak, but I from my perspective I think you’re missing the point. This isn’t canon Ginny and she’s had different experiences. For instance, in canon, everyone lived in fear of her famous Bat-Bogie hex, but here (because of that broken wand) she can barely cast that spell. She also believes that she’s the root cause of all her families hardships because her actions got Arthur sacked. That said, however, if you’ve read my previous stories you’ll know that I like writing Ginny as a strong, confident young woman. She maybe rather helpless in this story at present, but things are changing. What will happen when she gets a better wand and realises that she is in fact a powerful witch? What do you think her reaction will be when she learns the truth of her father’s sacking? You’re making some pretty judgemental comments when the story is only two-thirds of the way through because, trust me, Ginny will be far from meek and mild by the end.



Reviewer: parakletos Signed Date: 2013.03.24 - 11:08AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

At last - although I don't think everyone will truly let you off the hook until Harry starts to have an influence on Hogwarts and Ginny starts to flower.

BTW, I think you should have bluffed it out on the beta points 'yes its the way we do it over here.' :)



Author's Response: Won’t work – there are too many British readers on this site for me to get away with that.



Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2013.03.24 - 11:01AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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Well, well, well, it seems to me that the sorting hat has a pretty low opinion of that barmy old coot Dumbledore too - perhaps it doesn't like his chess set... He, he, I love Dumbledore-bashing!

Re your response to my last review, I totally agree with you that "BlackmarketRon" is a hell of a lot more interesting than in canon. I still think he's incredibly rude, but I think he's really realistic as to how boys can be in a boarding school. Certainly I can imagine that Seamus especially wouldn't have ever been opposed to a little smuggling and trading, and as Ron isn't Harry's sidekick in this fic then it follows suit that he's ended up the ringleader.

I don't think you've made Ginny too weak-willed at all. You've managed to show that she's still got her sense of humour and attitude (lol at her "mean right hook). I saw your response to another reviewer that Ginny could live in a worse place - Middlesbrough - and laughed. I live not far from there and I could argue pretty well that there's a place worse than there too, but I'm too happy at this chapter, so I won't. :)

I love Harry's attitude and sense of humour (I guess Sirius rubbed off on him some), especially the part with McGonagall and the hat and then the Slytherins. I normally don't like stories which have superpowerful Harry in them because I find he gets written and being really arrogant and cocky, but your Harry is just so likeable and honest that I think him a great match for Ginny already, even after he's only just met her again.

So glad for the quick update. I was very pleased when I saw it in the admin queue yesterday and then well chuffed to see it was already up today...Wow, that's an unusually long and sensible review for me, whatever if the world coming to...,Keep up the great work.

Author's Response: Oh, there are plenty of nice places NEAR Middlesbrough; it’s just the city itself that I object to ;-) I’m really glad you appreciate how I’ve written the characters. I’m trying to write both Harry and Ginny as evolving characters. As you point out, being around Sirius for so long has done wonders for Harry’s sense of humour. Ginny will change even more; she’s carrying around a burden of guilt and has been crushed down by her family. Once she starts to learn the truth she’ll blossom into a much stronger character.



Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2013.03.24 - 08:14AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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That was some entrance by Harry. I can already hear Snape saying his head has gotten larger than his father's :)

So it looks like Ginny will remain without her memories for a while yet. Makes me wonder if Hermione will be first to figure out they're missing. It should all be interesting to watch unfold in any case.

Author's Response: We get Harry and Snape’s first Hogwarts encounter in the next chapter – you just know that’s going to go well, don’t you? The memory charm will also be addressed next time and you’ll see how Harry handles the matter. You’re absolutely right in assuming her memories will be blocked (or some of them anyway) for a while yet.



Reviewer: GazingIntoTheAbyss Signed Date: 2013.03.24 - 07:49AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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Great chapter, as always. I guess it's payback time, the Slytherins should be cautious. Marvellous work! :)

Author's Response: We Slytherins are always cautious (guess where I got sorted on Pottermore?). As result of this Harry will be killed in the next chapter and Voldemort will go on to rule the world! Err… not really. Mrs Brennus was sorted into Hufflepuff and she’d never let me write an ending like that.



Reviewer: HarrynGinnyfan Signed Date: 2013.03.24 - 06:56AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

What? How can you just end it there!? I want to read the next chapter NAAOW! :(
Oh, and I'm glad hermione's got harry staying next to her with all that's going on at Hogwarts. She could do with a decent friend too. Great chapter, as always.

Author's Response: It was easy to just end it there; I just stopped typing. Harry may regret having a room next to Hermione; she snores something terrible.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2013.03.24 - 04:03AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

Ah now albus is going to have to explain to Harry why Ginny can't remember him....oh boy....not good....as for where they will go its anyone's guess I think but something tells me hermione is going to be asked to leave for a moment and allow Harry and Ginny time to talk....kutgw

Author's Response: I don’t think Harry would confront Dumbledore about this. He’ll suspect the memory charm is the old man’s work but realise a confrontation may do more harm than good.



Reviewer: bingo007 Signed Date: 2013.03.24 - 01:45AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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firstly..YAY....harry and ginny meet at last.but i was kinda creeped out by harry using legiliimency on ginny.i hope he atleast gets a minor earful when ginny comes to know about this.and secondly,got a few questions
1. what happened to neville?with seamus,dean and ron ganging up,he must have been left out.i thought he might have become friends with hermione.
2.perhaps i dont remember, but was umbridge mentioned in this story before?and what hapened to her?
3.why is voldy not making an attempt on dumbles life?he still has got draco and loads other junior death eaters in school.
and great update.loving this story more and more.

Author's Response: Yeah, I’m going to put Harry’s invasion of Ginny’s mind down to being a ‘necessary plot device’ and hope no one else makes a fuss about it. It was for her own good, really, honest. Neville has already made his solitary appearance in this story and will now spend the remaining chapters in the greenhouse where he is involved in a passionate but slightly disturbing affair with Professor Sprout. Umbridge didn’t even get a single mention, in this universe she fell in love with a short sighted botanist called Archibald and they moved to Spain to open a frog sanctuary together. And as for Voldemort… I’m not saying. You’ll find out what he’s been up to in later chapters.



Reviewer: zequist Signed Date: 2013.03.24 - 01:44AM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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At last, the division of the universe is healed and everything is back in its proper place again. Sorry, Slytherins, playtime is over and it's time to clean up the mess! This is going to be fun....

Author's Response: Sorry, I didn’t realise I had divided the universe. I’ll put it back the way I found it, I promise!



Reviewer: zorica Signed Date: 2013.03.23 - 11:29PM Title: Chapter 21 – Into the Snake Pit

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Yes at last! Oh I can't wait for more now they've finally met. Love this story .

Author's Response: Nice to see I’ve built up the anticipation so much.




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