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Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2015.12.14 - 08:09PM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
Thank goodness things are going better at Hogwarts. Poor Ginny. She really deserves a happier and more peaceful life.
Author's Response: On a serious note, this is the only story I've ever written which shows Ginny as being weak, even if it is only for a few chapters. I truly hate stories that make her some weak little girl, fawning over Harry. It just goes totally what we know of her from the last few books.
Reviewer: riegert8 Signed Date: 2014.06.20 - 08:48PM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
No Review
Reviewer: Majlena777 Signed Date: 2013.04.22 - 09:37AM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
"Harry quickly got an erection, but fortunately Ginny was too polite to mention it. " that sentence got me laughing for good five minute.I don't doubt that their morning will be interesting .I really like that Ginny finally find what really happened . I can wait for Ginny confrontation with her not so supporting family. You are nicely showing two faces of Dumbledor ,i hope that you will write a bit more about his not so white face. Every time i read some of you plot they always have balance from being too obvious or too far fetched,it's make reading your stories , a really pleasure .Really good chapter , i definitely enjoy it (like usually).
Author's Response: You will be pleased to know that the next chapter covering both Ginny’s ‘interesting ‘morning and her confrontation with her family has just been posted. Assuming I don’t get my wrist slapped by the archivists it should be up soon.
Reviewer: Fleek Signed Date: 2013.04.22 - 04:19AM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
No Review
Reviewer: Fleek Signed Date: 2013.04.22 - 04:18AM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
I know you may not see it as an author, but your updates are slowing down for sure. This is not a criticism, just an observation as I had said something regarding this before. I am sure it is simply because as we are getting to the "climax" of the story, you wish for everything to be perfect. You still update faster than any author on SIYE, and your stories are, as always, amazing.
Fleek
Author's Response: I must admit things have slowed down a bit over the last few chapters, but that’s primarily as the real world has reared its ugly head and my poor Beta Tom has been snowed under. This came as a shock to me as I thought Harry Potter was the real world and the rest of it was made up. Imagine my horror when I found out I really do work for a bank! Aaaaagghhhh!!
Reviewer: regdc Signed Date: 2013.04.19 - 08:11PM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
I had a couple of questions while I was re-reading this excellent work.
1. Did Hermione do any patrols with Malfoy?
You mentioned that she was worried about it and the Slytherin boys seem to be so out of control that I am surprised they did not try anything since she is muggle-born.
2. How did Slughorn get the Slyths to stop terrorising the rest of the school?
Seems to me that Sluggy is a complete coward and not really the type to demand obedience from a group as "terroristic" as the Slyths.
3. Will Harry get the map?
I don't like the idea of Ron having it!
Did I say a couple of questions!?
PS Dumbledore seemed to roll over very quickly to Harry's demands, especially with regard to Snape.
Thanks again for a great story! I cannot wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Oh, multiple questions – I do like those. I am, however, going to hi-jack your first question for a mini-rant. Do you ever read fan fiction stories where you think ‘you know, I loved this story at the start, but it really seems to be going nowhere’? To me, if a story gets to chapter 30 and there’s no sign of the end in sight alarm bells start ringing. That’s not to say there aren’t some truly great epic-length stories around, but that some authors have a habit of trying to squeeze every little idea and plot twist into a story and the whole thing becomes unwieldy. Recently I’ve noticed a couple of stories that started out great have started to become not worth the effort of reading (no, I’m not going to say what they are – this is just my personal opinion) and I think the authors should have put the story out to pasture long ago. Getting back to your question, there are hundreds of little details I could have included in the story such as the results of Hermione’s first patrol with Draco, but I would have ended up with a story twice the length then it is, and one that is much duller. I’m sorry to have used your question to facilitate this rant, but I just think it’s a shame when good writers lose sight of what made their story interesting in the first place. Right, very sorry about that. To answer your question as Draco was forced out of Hogwarts by mid-November, the chances are that Hermione had to suffer his company quite a bit. If we assume they shared patrols once a week that’s six or seven patrols. Assume that Draco was his usual ‘charming’ self but did not physically attack Hermione during that time. Slughorn may be a coward, but he isn’t stupid. I’ve read a number of great stories where Horace comes in and convinces his young charges that subtlety is a more Slytherin way of doing things then out and out violence. I’m sure he’s capable of manipulating a bunch of school kids to do his bidding. The map, sadly, says in Ron’s hands and should come in useful in the last couple of chapters. As for Dumbledore rolling over too easily: did he really have a choice? At least two of his senior staff were in open rebellion and Harry was on the verge of waking out. as keen as Albus was to protect the young Slytherins it’s not his major priority.
Reviewer: I Love Ginerva Signed Date: 2013.04.18 - 01:28AM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
No Review
Reviewer: Jeograph Signed Date: 2013.04.17 - 04:27AM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
Brennus,
I have been reading and very much enjoying your story, yet, I have been hesitant to post a review simply because I am not sure what I have to offer that would have any actual meaning.
While I myself have been writing a fan-fic that has been moderately well received on this site, I have long hesitated to become a rabid reader simply because I want to remain focused on my own story, and other non-fanfic stories I have in the works. That, and the fact that when I read something I tend to become absorbed and unable to focus elsewhere.
The "what if" nature of your story is fascinating, of course most all fan fiction has this aspect but your's beginning where it does changes everything and allows for vastly different character development and motivation. A fact you have used to great advantage.
I was initially disturbed by the story's start and the portrayal of the Dursley's as truly abusive (I am not looking to get into a debate about what constitutes abuse.) but it is an interpretation of canon I am finding to be widely pervasive among fan-fic readers so I am getting somewhat used to it.
As your story began I felt that sending Harry to the Flammel's was a wonderful turn of events and would create a strong and well centered Harry, which it did, but I was not prepared for just what a warrior he would become.
Your introduction of the girlfriend character felt very much to me like the introduction of a Mary-sue, until I looked up your profile and realized that simply wasn't the case. Knowing that allowed me to look deeper at the character's purpose and appreciate her as a tool for character development.
I find your development of an obviously scheming Dumbledore to be very interesting, though I struggle with my own tendencies to want to appreciate the canon character, and therefore find it difficult to dislike him so much. I am eager to see how you explain what brought him to this point in your story.
If I have any true criticism of your story it would have to be the Japan connection. I find it largely unnecessary and somewhat ill used. I therefore have to conclude that it was done largely for its coolness factor. (Harry, with his magical Katana is certainly cool.)
The Japanese culture into which you thrust him is ancient and quite ridged. In essence he became a Samurai, which would place him in the service of the clan and beholden to its leader. By having him return to England, which you had to do, he has become Ronin. I am not an expert on things Japanese, but ronin means "drifter" or "lawless person." It seems to me that Harry's indoctrination into that culture would have far greater effect on him than you seem to be portraying in the story? I feel he should display much greater physical control over himself and be bound by a far more ridged sense of propriety toward others, particularly those he perceives as authorities, regardless of his personal feeling for or against them. His ability to talk back to people like Dumbledore, and his openly cocky nature seem inconsistent with this aspect of your story.
It doesn't of course make me not like Harry in your story, but it does constantly strike me as an OOC aspect of your own story development.
But then again, what do I know...
I am really enjoying the way you are dealing with Ginny, Hermione and Luna, and I am looking forward to the reading the rest of the story.
On a personal note: You were the first person to leave a review of my story on this site, yet I have seen no comment from you since? Might I invite you to do so?
Thanks for sharing your writing with us all!
Author's Response: I do have to say I understand your reluctance to become too immersed in fan fiction if you have a desire to tell your own stories. I agree certain events and behaviours have become so established that we accept them as canon. While I was doing some research for a story recently, I re-read GoF and was surprised at how different Hermione is in the book then I was expecting. She was much more relaxed and generally a warmer character then she is normally portrayed, and much more willing to break rules. But in fan fiction she’s the bossy know-it-all who hates to challenge authority so that’s what I was expecting. I’m not actually 100% sure that ‘Abusive Dursleys’ are taken as canon, it’s just that introducing that kind of behaviour is a wonderful plot device, so it gets used a great deal. I’m interested (and somewhat disappointed) that you weren’t keen on the Japanese chapters. There were clear reasons why Harry was sent there, the most important of which was that Harry had to learn to fight. Nicholas Flamel realised that Harry was going to be dragged into a war whether he wanted to or not, so wanted him to receive the best training he could. I was also keen to eradicate certain personality traits Harry had in canon, and I felt giving him a grounding in Eastern philosophy was a good way to do this. The Harry in this story is not paralysed by grief at the death of a loved one and has better control of his anger. He has learnt to trust his own feelings and come to rely on them, thus discouraging him from pushing people was in an attempt to protect them. If I was going to portray Harry as such a different person from canon, I had to display a clear reason for that change and the training he received in Japan was a pretty good way to do that. I’m not quite sure why you think the tsuesenshi should have the same structure and traditions as a Samurai. I think it’s safe to assume that Japanese Magical society would differ from the Muggle one just as they do in Britain. Also, Harry was one in Japan for a year; most of his fellow pupils spend far, far longer there. He then went from that environment to living with Sirius; how’s that for a culture shock. I must apologise for not following your story but in my defence I have been tied up with other things (including replying to the incredible number of reviews this story has been getting). I promise I will put it on my ‘to do’ list.
Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2013.04.16 - 10:23AM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
I love this story. I, also, agree with the way you have left Harry out of Hogwarts until now. He seems like a breathe of fresh ( or maybe clean) air to the Slytherin/Snape run Hogwarts. Dumbledore has been turning a blind eye for too long. Or maybe, under a delusion that everyone can be saved. Harry may seem a bit over zealous in some of his reactions but I really don't blame him compared to what the Slytherins have been dealing out.
I loved the last bit of this chapter. It shows how much Harry is still a 17 year old male with normal reactions to having a gorgeous, beautiful girl in bed with him.
Author's Response: I should mention at this point that Dumbledore’s actions and motives have yet to be explained fully. There’s a reason he’s this way. Nope, a seventeen year old boy getting a stiffy is hardly a shock, is it? What could possibly happen next morning?
Reviewer: Birlan Signed Date: 2013.04.15 - 03:56PM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
I presume that "Mirror, Mirror" (in an earlier review) is a reference to the classic Star Trek episode where through an unexplained transporter malfunction, Kirk is sent to a parallel world where the peaceful Federation is a warlike Terran Empire, where advancement is through assassination and disclipline is maintained by torture. Its a great premise and one that was followed up repeatedly in later Trek versions.
Author's Response: Yes, Mistress L has pointed this out to me now. I even Googled it and only came up with that stupid looking ‘Snow White’ film. I’m afraid Star Trek references are lost on me, although I did watch ‘Voyager’ for a while, but that was only because of Seven of Nine. Hubba-hubba!
Reviewer: Birlan Signed Date: 2013.04.15 - 03:52PM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
I like this chapter. The attack on Malfoy is a strong action but the way you have set up Hogwarts, with Snape protecting Slytherin against any repurcussions, and Dumbledore inattentive, I don't really see what options Harry would have believed that he had. He doesn't know McG at all--and all he know is what he has seen and been told. Who would he tell=--he knows Dumbledore thinks its exaggerated andy/or unimportant. He doesn't know Pomfrey or McG or anyone. Everything he knows is that if he wants change, he needs to act to accomplish it--and his teaching the school about the possibliity for retribution seems in character as well. And sensible.
Considering that Malfoy has threatened his life and that his only friends are at risk, I don't think his actions are outlandish--even if they are extreme. His use of the pensieve to educate Dumbledore is interesting and well thought out. Harry collects data and plans his approach.
I am guessing that if this Harry and Ginny have children someday that, there will not be an Albus Severus among them?
You also raise an interesting question inadvertently. Usually stories about Harry and the Weasleys show how they have affected him. In this story, Harry's absence has greatly effected the Weasleys and not for the better. I had not really thought about that before. Its not just Ron whose life is changed. Are the Weasleys reacting differently to Ginny and the Malfoys because they don't know Harry as Ron's friend and Ginny's rescuer?
I also like how you show the effect on Arthur Weasley of the loss of job. Considering what we know about wizard England from canon, I have always presumed that it was very hard to be fired for incompetence from the Ministry. If that is true, it is going to be a giant blow to Arthur and his family that he was fired for exactly that--so blaming Ginny is even easier. I look forward to seeing how the next family gathering goes. I don't know if Harry is ever going to be a family favorite even when they learn more about Ginny and who she really is. He may be blamed for everything that isn't his fault. Again.
Last plaudit--I like the innuendo at the end--it seems more in character for a 17 year old boy in bed with an attractive woman. Sometimes, in other stories Harry is shown as sharing a bed with Ginny and they manage to be peaceful and supportive and are nothing more. That's not how I remember being when I was 17.
Author's Response: Indeed. I think the strongest accusation you can make at Harry at this point is that he has become judge, jury and (figurative) executioner. But if the system put in place to protect you is broken, how long do you abide by its rules? And, yes, I think Harry and Ginny will have to break out the ‘baby names’ book again. Perhaps we’ll finally see ‘Elvendork’ get some use? I won’t say too much about the Weasleys as the Ginny vs. her family showdown is coming up in the next chapter. I will say that Arthur getting sacked was a result of Harry not being around. In this story there was no confrontation between Lucius and Harry after the CoS, so Malfoy considers his involvement to be still a secret. He therefore feels able to press on with his plan to discredit Arthur and get him fired. At seventeen it is kind of an automatic reaction, isn’t it? I think you can assume it took a while for Harry to drop off to sleep. It’s just as well most teenage boys don’t get a similar reaction when they wake up in the mornings… oh.
Reviewer: Awakening5 Signed Date: 2013.04.15 - 03:32PM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
Great chapter, as usual. This is a hard story to reconcile with Rowling's Harry Potter, but that doesn't make me like it any less. That's why I'm reading fanfiction, after all, to get some fresh takes on the wonderful world that she created. I'm both sad and excited that the story is nearing completion...
I do hope you've got some other stories you want to tell after this one is done?
Author's Response: Strangely, I don’t think my Harry is too far away from canon actually. The main changes to him are in experience, training and ability. Dumbledore, on the other hand, is completely changed! I have loads of other stories on the go at present, including a couple of completed one shots and a nearly completed 13 chapter ‘Harry the Auror’ story (although that might need some re-writes). I’ve become addicted to writing; I’m afraid you’re not going to get rid of me now.
Reviewer: DukeBrymin Signed Date: 2013.04.15 - 03:20PM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
Yeay for McGonagall showing backbone.
Author's Response: Some might say about time, but Prof M always does the right thing in the end.
Reviewer: Mistress_Lrigtar Signed Date: 2013.04.15 - 10:59AM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
I am continually surprised by the complacency of everyone in this story. Does no one have an ounce of moral fiber? As always, I am trying to understand why everyone is acting so OOC, as aside from the events in Harry's life, everything else in their universe was the same up to the point of Harry attending Hogwarts. So, why are the professors at Hogwarts complete idiots and blind to what is going around them? Why is Arthur Weasley, who in canon is a sweet, warm, loving father, blaming his daughter for something that was entirely his fault? He never would have done that in canon. I am beginning to wonder once again if Dumbledore has everyone under a very large Imperius curse. His reasoning for allowing the Slytherins the freedom they have had was abysmal, and thank goodness McGonagall and Pomfrey finally came to their senses and had their eyes opened a bit.
Harry's actions towards Malfoy, while understandable and in character for this story, are just as unconscionable as everything Harry is fighting against, and it scares me that he doesn't see it that way. He thinks as long as he is fighting for what he thinks is right, it is okay to hurt, maim, and murder people. I hate to tell him this, but that is exactly what Voldemort thinks as well. Wake up, Harry! Violence begets violence and only propagates the problem. The line Harry is travelling is a fine one and many reigns of terror have begun based on similar notions.
In canon it was Harry's ability to retain a pure love and innocence, despite everything he had been put through that was part of the power he had that Voldemort knew not. In this story he has already lost both of those things and is on much more equal footing with Voldemort. I imagine Harry will wind up beheading Voldemort or something equally as cold-blooded, but I am hoping instead you will surprise me. Either way, I hope Harry can overcome the obvious prejudice he is developing towards Slytherins (while deserved by some), otherwise, in a few years time we may find a Harry Potter torturing and killing people for no reason other that the fact that they are Slytherin and therefore, may turn dark. Then, he truly is no better than Tom Riddle.
And just to throw yet another sci-fi reference in, have you thought about the "Mirror, Mirror" universe you have created?
Author's Response: I should probably say at this point that Harry’s burst of accidental magic which got him removed from the Dursleys/kept away from Hogwarts was not the only major change from canon. Something else happened which altered Dumbledore’s world view somewhat. While Albus hasn’t been going around Imperiousing everyone, he has used his considerable influence, and not necessarily in a good way. Arthur, well, his main sin is one of silence. This will be addressed a bit more in the next chapter, but think what effect suddenly finding he couldn’t support his own family would have on a man like Arthur. What if he had the chance to ease his own guilt, just a little? Well, see what you think after the next chapter. Hmm, not sure I agree with your next points. The idea that ‘violence begets violence’ is obviously a complex one that philosophers have been arguing over for centuries and I’m sure we don’t have room to discuss the issue here. Needless to say, my personal viewpoint is that violence is sometimes unavoidable (I did spend five years in the army, after all). Harry’s viewpoint in this story was very much influenced by his time in Japan. Remember the conversation he had with Tamazuki about the moral responsibility of not killing a foe who then goes on to take the life of an innocent? It’s a bit harsh calling Harry a murderer, I know he threatened to do away with Draco but he’s had two chances to polish off Malfoy and he hasn’t taken them. Harry made clear that he would only take the life of someone bearing the Dark Mark and he’s stayed true to that. It’s not so much Slytherins he has a problem with, he just judges people by their actions. I’m not sure I get the ‘Mirror, Mirror’ reference; are you implying I’ve turned Dumbledore into Julia Roberts?
Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2013.04.15 - 07:50AM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
Things are moving along quickly for little Ginny. At this rate, she'll wake up one day and find herself naked in Harry's bed or something. Oh wait, that's already well on its way :P Maybe she'll proceed to cause Voldemort to explode from the pain of feeling they're having awesome sex. You did warn about some huge cliché at some point...
I find you're walking a thin line with Dumbledore. There's only so much he can turn a blind eye to without being outright evil and just siding with Voldemort. I guess you're kind of making them both power hungry fanatics, with different methods :) It doesn't work out too bad so far but make sure Dumbledore's actions are not shaped only by the way you want us to hate him. Otherwise I think it will make a flat character which is little more than a punching bag.
Author's Response: Ah, no. My upcoming massive cliché does not involve Harry and Ginny bonking Voldemort to death (if you see what I mean), it’s much duller than that. I must confess when I started writing this story I had intended Dumbledore to be a much ‘greyer’ character than he actually turned out. I just had him perform one dubious deed, and that led to another, and then another. And you haven’t even seen the worst of the man yet! Let’s just say Albus has a very specific agenda he’s working to which has yet to be revealed.
Reviewer: Marinka Signed Date: 2013.04.15 - 05:14AM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
"Harry quickly got an erection, but fortunately Ginny was too polite to mention it"- i just loved that final touch:))
Author's Response: Of course, Ginny might not be feeling so polite in the morning ;-)
Reviewer: nesciamema Signed Date: 2013.04.15 - 01:46AM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
Poor little Harry, too much one on one time.
Author's Response: Why does everyone say ‘little Harry’? You’ll shatter the poor boy’s self-confidence!
Reviewer: HeroInTheWings731 Signed Date: 2013.04.14 - 09:54PM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
I do hope Dumbledore suffers a painful death in the end. Calling Harry out for playing god when he's the one actually doing it and even believing that Harry's independence doesn't matter because he still intends for him to sacrifice himself in the end. The man is practically a monster himself at this point and refusing to believe the horrors that he allowed in his school, even as evidence is pouring him, shows him to be completely deluded. Great chapter though and I'm glad to see Harry make a major difference in making the school safer for the majority of the students.
Author's Response: There will be some more background on why Dumbledore acts this way coming up in a couple of chapters time. Basically, my Dumbledore really isn’t much like the canon version. He is, however, a great character to’ villain-ise’ because of all the potential damage he can do and the influence he has. Maybe I’ll do an evil Dobby in my next story; that could be fun.
Reviewer: Mistress of Potions Signed Date: 2013.04.14 - 08:57PM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
The more of this story that I read, the more I appreciate your taking the time to so thoroughly establish Harry's character and history.
I've read some of the reviews of this chapter before posting my own, and I have to admit that the mental picture of Professor McGonagall & Madame Pomphrey waiting in the shadows with baseball bats to "Babe Ruth" Dumbledore is one that will put a grin on my face for quite some time.
Also, please thank Mrs. Brennus for sharing your time and attention with a grateful and appreciative group of fanfic readers.
Author's Response: I really will have to work a baseball bat welding McGonagall & Pomfrey into a story sometime; that really is too good an image to waste! Mrs Brennus is in her last two months of her Fine Art degree and very much appreciates me staying out of her hair while she finishes her final projects/goes into complete meltdown. If I hadn’t started writing I think she would have killed me by now.
Reviewer: KateP Signed Date: 2013.04.14 - 08:30PM Title: Chapter 25 – Sanctuary in My Arms
Another great chapter so now Ginny knows who Tom is I cannot wait for the her family to find out and hope Harry is with her when they do also cannot wait to see how Harry and Ginny take the reason for the memory charm being put on her in the first place
Author's Response: All will be revealed in the very next chapter!
