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SIYE Time:1:22 on 19th August 2017


Reviewer: Meiadus Signed Date: 2014.10.05 - 01:55PM Title: Mark Five

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Reviewer: hpforever85 Signed Date: 2014.09.04 - 12:41AM Title: Mark Five

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Reviewer: hpforever85 Signed Date: 2014.09.04 - 12:24AM Title: Mark One

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Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2014.09.03 - 09:35PM Title: Mark Five

If you were interested, I have a number of more specific (possibly even helpful) comments/suggestions to elaborate on my earlier review. I was going to send them via a private message rather than clutter up your review space, but some major bugs have emerged in the private message system. If you wanted, I could either dump them here (it's nothing controversial, just a bit verbose), or else find some other mechanism to get them to you.

Author's Response: I'll pm you. -N-



Reviewer: potternut190 Signed Date: 2014.08.29 - 11:37AM Title: Mark Five

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Loved George's timing of the tides! Great chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you. -N-



Reviewer: lalachoa Signed Date: 2014.08.29 - 12:23AM Title: Mark Five

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Like the chapter very much.

Author's Response: Thank you. -N-



Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2014.08.27 - 01:46PM Title: Mark Five

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Very imaginative!



From a writing perspective,this chapter seems a bit forced and rushed -- certainly compared to your best pieces, but even relative to the first chapter of the story. As one proceeds through the banter at Ginny's flat, the dialogue is fast-paced which I'm sure is an effective simulation of what one would experience as a uninitiated bystander, but as readers we are missing much of the nonverbal communication and pregnant pauses that could make the scene witty (and potentially hilarious). As it is, there are many instances in which it is unclear whether a given character is being funny or dim; whether the response is jocular of mean spirited. The result is a bit disorienting.



Of course most of us would still sacrifice our well-callused scrolling-finger to write as well as this, but I figured you could handle some nit-picking



Author's Response: thanks for the review.
I began seriously working on this chapter while I was writing the Harry/Ginny banter in the Cymru chapter of F&F. I thought that the dialogue was as fast flowing. I also thought that I’d given enough signals as to what everyone’s moods were. I’ll take another look at it.
-N-



Reviewer: intikhabalam12 Signed Date: 2014.08.27 - 10:41AM Title: Mark Five

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As always, a lots of details and very much fun to read.
just wonder, the killing of entire family in the last part is an incident in the "friends and foes" or just stuff for this story.
Ginny's biscuits were good than her mother, really. I just thought in the four of them, only Harry knows how to cook. ;)


Author's Response: Thank you.
The killings are another story entirely.
Hermione cooks during DH (although she isn’t much good). Ron is an expert at preparing vegetables. Molly must have taught Ginny to cook (I suspect she tried to teach the boys, too).
-N-



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2014.08.25 - 08:40PM Title: Mark Five

they are getting closer.....to bad for harry getting an EYE full....oh wellhe only has eyes for harry....kutgw

Author's Response: Thanks, an attempt on my part to show another potential problem with the Mirrorphone. -N-



Reviewer: destin4fl Signed Date: 2014.08.25 - 10:31AM Title: Mark Five

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Outstanding! Another excellent transition point in your series, love the slow solution of the characters especially George's.

Author's Response:
Thanks.
I’ve mentioned this before (I think) but, while I didn’t want the canon relationships (George/Angelina, Neville/Hannah, and Luna/Rolf, to name three) to be immediately post battle. Neville/Hannah is after Aurors & Schoolgirls, George/Angelina between R&D and F&F, and Luna/Rolf after F&F. I’m having to re-organise Lina/Rolf, as according to JKR’s latest Rita article they are married with twins in 2014, I planned for the twins to be born in 2016, but they’ve never appeared in my stories, so it’s no big deal.
-N-



Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2014.08.25 - 09:52AM Title: Mark Five

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Nice little story.

Author's Response: Thanks -N-



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2014.08.25 - 12:25AM Title: Mark Five

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Great wrap up to the story! Loved Ginny's contributions to the mirrorphone - very cute story.

Author's Response: Thank you. -N-



Reviewer: Heather Longbottom Signed Date: 2014.08.24 - 03:49PM Title: Mark Five

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Reviewer: SYLVELLE Signed Date: 2014.08.24 - 03:42PM Title: Mark Five

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Amazing. Just another wonderful chapter, as we expect from you. I love Ginny and Harry. Never disappointed Neil.
Tricia.

Author's Response:
Thanks’ Tricia.
I’ll apologise in advance for Patricia Popplewell, from Witch Weekly, appearing in the next chapter of Epithalamium.
-N-



Reviewer: Dianainga Signed Date: 2014.08.24 - 07:45AM Title: Mark Five

N - This is SO ingenious and clever. Love, love, love your stories. Poor George is still so far from a happy ending, isn't he? Of course, I am dying for more chapters on Strangers and your Annie and James story....but would love more stories about George's journey. You have developed him into such an interesting character. Thank you so much!
Diana

Author's Response:
Thank you.
In my overall timeline, the next chapter in George’s story is “April Fool” and then ‘Angelina” (and then, of course the F&F chapter “The Burrow”). One day I’ll write a sequel to “Angelina”, but it’s not top priority right now.
-N-



Reviewer: Arnel Signed Date: 2014.08.24 - 02:12AM Title: Mark Five

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I'm a little disappointed that there isn't much closure to this chapter. It feels as if it just stops like a cliffie and leaves the reader expecting more, especially with regards to the next generation Mirrorphone's marketing and reception by the Wizarding public. I realize the story is mostly about his R&D with this new product, but seeing the results of his hard work would have been nice.

Harry did have some valid concerns and very good suggestions and it was nice to see George thinking hard about how to improve upon a product that is already easily understood and user friendly. I suppose that if Ginny can't break it, it's pretty much foolproof!

Loved the Ron and Hermione bits and the fact that Hermione just can't keep her mouth shut. I'm glad she approved of the Mirrorphone since I'm not sure George would have done very well if she'd nitpicked it to death the way she sometimes does. It was also nice to learn a little more about Terry and Fenella's developing relationship.

All in all, well done.

Author's Response:
Thanks for the review.

Sometimes I wonder when to stop. Some stories seem to go on forever, and I didn’t want to push this story beyond the original research and development stage. There is possibly one more chapter in this, but you will see the results elsewhere.

George has been working hard on this, and he’ll certainly use Harry’s suggestion. Ginny didn’t really set out to break the Mark One, it’s simply that George hadn’t thought things through.

Hermione is really terrible at keeping quiet when she’s excited about something. There is a precedent for her complimenting the twins, too (her comments on the headless hats). Terry and Fenella’s story will continue in the background of my stories.

-N-



Reviewer: ngayonatkailanman Signed Date: 2014.08.24 - 01:07AM Title: Mark Five

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Very engaging. Exccellnt owrk as usual. What more can I say? LOL.

Author's Response: Thanks again. -N-



Reviewer: ngayonatkailanman Signed Date: 2014.08.24 - 12:29AM Title: Mark One

LOL. You are right. What a diatribe. I cannot believe the amount of trouble this invention caused. Love it.

Author's Response: Thanks. Ginny speaks her mind. -N-



Reviewer: Marinka Signed Date: 2014.08.23 - 11:28PM Title: Mark Five

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Ginny is to the point as ever:)) Which story is next one to updat, FaF?

Author's Response: Thanks Next will be Epithalamium, as the Harry/Kinsley meeting is not going as planned. -N-



Reviewer: Mistress_Lrigtar Signed Date: 2014.08.23 - 10:41PM Title: Mark Five

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Nice wrap-up and cool how you were able to foreshadow the phones Harry and Ginny are seen using in 'Strangers'. George is brilliant and as one of your other reviewers mentioned, Apple owes Ron and George royalties.

Author's Response: Thanks. I was never sure whether an explanation was needed but, as I said in another review the challenge gave me the opportunity. I’ll be posting a new chapter of Epithalamium soon. I’ll apologise in advance for “Bethany”. -N-




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