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Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.08.21 - 04:25PM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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Obviously, I was a wee bit lazy two and a half years ago and didn't leave a review for each chapter. I will now try to close the gaps.

As funny as the trip to Diagon Alley was for Ginny and Harry, and as much as I enjoyed reading about it, reading about Hermione's view of things was the highlight of the chapter for me. It's a pity that Hermione her dubious letter to Molly wasn't addressed, but I won't complain. Perhaps she is ashamed in the meantime that she wrote this letter, lol.

Author's Response: Hey Martin! A very brief note of thanks right now as I'm currently traveling. A more proper response to come later. Happy reading!



Reviewer: BobVosh Signed Date: 2015.07.03 - 04:01AM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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Eavesdropping is under utilized in doing flashbacks, that was rather enjoyable.

I'm not too fond of how Hermione is portrayed, but its not horrifically unreasonable. I'm struggling to understand the motivations behind the letter sent to Molly still.

Author's Response:

Ah yes, the letter! Now by *motivations*, were you referring to those of Hermione (one last flailing effort to find a plausible ally as everyone else gravitates inexorably toward H&G), or to the author's (a device to show the depths to which Hermione had sunk)?

Admittedly, experiments in pain and depravity don't always play well, and I'd hazard a guess that the biggest reason that the world of Harry Potter fan fiction is so active is to escape the sort of stuff that I just put you through. However, if it helps bolster your courage at all, let me assure you that I have nothing of the Rowling-esque penchant for pyrrhic victories!

Glad you liked the little trip down memory lane, though! I enjoyed writing that.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!



Reviewer: LysCsuri Signed Date: 2015.02.06 - 02:03PM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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Really neat characterizations here! If I remember correctly, these kids were introduced in Taking Control as just being keen students; now they're living breathing people, almost a bit like mini-versions of an earlier Harry-Ron-Hermione clique. They're way cooler than HRH, but perhaps that's because they're pieces of the puzzle, rather than being frightened students who have the weight of the whole Wizard World on their shoulders. In any case, they make great supporting characters -- I'm dying to see how they come into the bigger story in a meaningful way!

Author's Response: Ah yes! Ryan in particular becomes a key secondary character, and Mary-Jo and Nick both continue to play useful supporting roles, as do each of the other 'super seven'. Each, I believe you will agree, has a distinct personality, and they interact well with each other and with the main characters. In addition to these non-canon characters, Luna, Neville, Ron, Hermione, Hannah Abbott and Terry Boot make a reasonable number of appearances. Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass are frequent comic relief. Draco remains evil and conflicted. Anyway, glad you enjoyed the initial teasers, and hope the experience continues to work for you!



Reviewer: Aragorn Signed Date: 2014.12.23 - 09:40PM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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As I commented on the first chapter, I'm quite pleased with you continuation of these stories. When I stumbled across the phenomenon of this HP fanfiction thingy in 2007...I was so taken with the quality of the gems among the bunch. In that first year, three captured my attention greatly: HP & Nightmares of Futures Past, The Meaning of One...and Taking Control.

As you may know, the first two are only updated now every couple of years...and Matt certainly had seemed to have disappeared.



Better yet, I like your writing...

Thanks

Author's Response: Yes, it's interesting how so many sub-genres seem to have their golden ages. I think the HP fanfic universe became especially potent for some time, perhaps because Rowling created brilliantly intriguing characters but somewhat underwhelming plot-lines end denouements. Now in the fading days of 2014 it would seem to me that just about every weak plot point that JKR left us has now been refashioned in satisfying fashion by at least one fanfic available to us. Anyway, some great pioneering classics definitely emerged in the 2007-2011 time frame that set the bar very high. Having set that bar, I do hope that all of those classics do achieve some sort of due and fulfilling closure.



Reviewer: pottermania Signed Date: 2014.10.07 - 05:11PM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

Yes it does seem that Dumbledore has callously used hermione and just brushed it off...pity she's learnt her lesson too late...

Author's Response: Ah, now it is 'late' or 'too late' for Miss Granger? Any time someone is pushed into the Sea of Bitterness, one wonders how quickly that person will learn to swim.
As for Dumbledore, it is a different ocean in which he is floundering...
Thanks again for reading, and for your insightful thoughts!



Reviewer: pottermania Signed Date: 2014.10.07 - 05:05PM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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Yes it does seem that Dumbledore has callously used hermione and just brushed it off...pity she's learnt her lesson too late...

Author's Response: Thank you for the stars!



Reviewer: lunagranger Signed Date: 2014.03.22 - 08:34PM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

I'm really frustrated that your chapters don't get validated. Any idea about what is happening? Can I read it anywhere else?

Author's Response: Hi again! I'm trying to find out what's up with that, but fortunately yes: I've started posting at: http://ghlfiction.tumblr.com/ Chapters 1-3 are there, and I'll post chapter 4 tomorrow. Please note that I'm still messing around with the page format, but I don't think that will affect things. Thanks or your interest, and thanks again for your earlier comments on Chapter 2!



Reviewer: DukeBrymin Signed Date: 2014.03.17 - 01:59PM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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Yes, good to see some of what's going on in Hermione's mind.

Author's Response: Thanks -- I appreciate the feedback. It's also great to get stars from an author who's received lots of them!



Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2014.03.16 - 09:27AM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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I have enjoyed reading your story so far.
Looking forward to more.

Author's Response: Thanks Carolyn -- the next chapter should be validated pretty soon!



Reviewer: Cole Signed Date: 2014.03.14 - 12:00AM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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So I enjoyed this chapter for the most part and I am enjoying the story overall.

That being said, I'm surprised that after allowing Harry to buy her a new wardrobe (in Free life) that Ginny would be so willing to let him spend as much on her as would be required for the magical trunk. I honestly don't see it as really crossing the mind of either Harry or Ginny that she had the need for it, let alone the desire to get one.

After reading this chapter, I can only slightly believe how Hermione could come to write the letter from the previous chapter. I can believe her entertaining the thought of the fears that she has, but I still have a hard time believing her not quickly dismissing those more extreme concerns. I still see her as being more willing to believe that he would potentially end up sacrificing himself to save others, be it with his life or his freedom (if he were to get himself thrown in Azkaban for breaking any major laws) but still not what she suggested in that letter. Even in Matt's original story, she still seemed to feel that Harry's heart remained in the right place but she was afraid for his safety, that he was putting himself in danger. Also that she was just frustrated, confused and honestly angry that he was shutting her and Ron out of his life.

I did like how you handled her frustration with Dumbledore, which was certainly understandable. This might help shake her the absolute faith she seems to place in people in a position of authority.

I also enjoyed the scene with the students at Fortescue's and also them waiting for Hermione so that she didn't have to be alone, I could see the students we came to know in Matt's universe doing that, so kudos! Also another reviewer touched on this but I too would like to see more of the byplay between Harry and Ginny. Overall I like your writing style, I'm enjoying it and I greatly look forward to more!

I'll try to stop harping on ways in which your interpretation or vision might seem to be different than Matt's, but that is a difficult act to follow, so far you're doing pretty well though.





Author's Response: Thank you again Cole! Agreed about the trunk: a bit of an impulsive extravagance to which I think both Harry and Ginny had their own justifiable ambivalence :) It 'may' afford some symbolic value down the road (consider a balance between 'interdependence' and 'independence'), but only time will tell whether this symbolism is worth an outlay of nearly 2000 galleons.



Reviewer: ebdenis Signed Date: 2014.03.12 - 08:50PM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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I like this chapter too, though going into all the detail about the magic trunk slows down the story line. On the other hand, the dialogue is lively. Looks like you've had a lot of chatter about Hermione? I don't envy you trying to bring her back into the story, since I got the impression the previous author had banished her to the woodshed, maybe for good. As to whether her letter and stuff is believable, who knows? There's a lot of strange behavior in Taking Control and Free Life to try to explain. But the Hermione at the end of this chapter (listing three possible explanations and buying books to try to research them) sounds like she's starting to get back to being real Rowling-style Hermione. You've got me curious where this will all go!

Author's Response: Thanks again for the thoughts! To be honest, I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have left Ms. Granger 'in the woodshed' as you eloquently phrased it. However she has the useful attribute of sheer doggedness that will be needed for a key problem. Harry and Ginny are very determined, but they both have pragmatic streaks that might get in the way.



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2014.03.12 - 09:29AM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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It is interesting to see how others see Harry and Ginny. Sorry to see that Hermione has completely lost her mind - it did explain quite a bit, but she really needs medication or something. Harry and Ginny seem a bit off - the sweet, flirty, sexual vibe that had been established in the previous stories is missing. I think I'm at a bit of a disadvantage because I just finished reading the other two stories (again) last week. I know it is hard emulating another's work or style of writing, but even simple things - Harry almost always referred to Ginny as Gin and we've gone two chapters with no kissing and very little intimacy. Harry loves the carts at Gringotts if you recall he had to be hauled back from peering over the edge, why is he now getting nauseated riding on them? I did like that they want to use their money for charitable reasons and it seems he would probably turn to Remus who has helped him so much in gaining his own independence.

Author's Response: And thanks again for more detailed comments! |*|*|*| A quick word on Hermione: I don't want to spoil anything, but having an aggrieved and very motivated Ms. Granger is very important to plot twists downstream. JKR taught us that a motivated Hermione is a force to be reckoned with. There will be consequences. It will take a while, but H&G will thank her in the end. |*|*|*| Regarding playful intimacy: you're perfectly justified in chiding me a bit after these first two chapters. Fortunately our two protagonists will finally get some moments together in Chapters 3-7 when they are not sleep-deprived / harried / trying not to attract attention / discussing awkward subjects. I doubt my style will perfectly mesh with Matt's, but I did choose the 'Romance' label (among others) for a key reason and I intend to live up to it.



Reviewer: lunagranger Signed Date: 2014.03.10 - 06:27PM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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This chapter is excellent too, but not as fantastic as the first one, because it is a bit too explanatory. In spite of that, I think you used a lot of good tools to make the expositions work, as the conversation of the kids to remind us of what had happened in Diagon Alley.
Poor Hermione, even if she ia a control freak to the point of sickness, I pity her. She will have to grow up a lot, if she wants to recuperate her relationship with her friends, even if only a bit.

Author's Response: Wonderfully apt constructive criticism -- thanks LunaGranger! This is exceptionally apt and well timed because my preliminary draft of the next chapter gets really quite bogged down in bland expository prose. The chapter is supposed to be entitled "Fawkes Speaks", but without thoughtful revision, I would have to call it 'Dumbledore Drones' :) Let me see if I can turn it around!



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2014.03.10 - 08:02AM Title: Eavesdropping in the Alley

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Re-read the originals so back up to speed. You have a better rate of updating than Matt. Keep it up.

Author's Response: Thanks Dad -- will do! I am a few drafts ahead, that just need to be proofread, so I'm hoping I can manage a chapter a week for a while.




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