Reviews For Splinters
Reviewer: MisterBlack Signed Date: 2016.03.16 - 09:45PM Title: Knife's Edge
Wow -- attention to detail! I'm going to assume that your comments here are based on having just read this far (i.e., no skimming ahead for clues). If so, then you're definitely catching on to lots of things faster than other reviewers. Not all of your intuitions are fully honed yet, but some are close and one is completely bang on. I think you're a chapter ahead of where KateP was when she became the first to spring the pregnancy guess, and you have caught every clue exactly as as it was intended. By the way, at this point I don't think it's a spoiler to confirm your suspicion on that front -- it's something for which the gradual awareness builds, but there's no grand announcement or tension...
In terms of clues, and authour's attention to detail (thank you very much for your kind comments on that, by the way!) let me share a bit of my side. For this story, I deliberately set myself a fairly wild juggler's challenge of throwing way too many balls in the air and trying to keep them all aloft until they were all safely caught and stowed away. Two thirds of the way through, just as a few balls were being put away, I tossed a bunch more in the air. Trying to do this; trying to keep track of all those projectiles through seven months of writing, and especially trying to *not* completely bewilder all readers was a nutty undertaking, and I promised my thinning grey hair that I would never do it again, but I have to admit that it was fun. So, with all that in mind, an understanding of the precise nature of the pulsing light will gradually grow through the story, but will not be fully resolved until very very close to the end. Interestingly, though, you have many of the requisite pieces spun about in different places within this very review...
Finally, I am going to take your review as a recommendation to read The Unbreakable Vow. As far as whether I would write something like that, it's certainly possible since it opens the HP world to many other scenarios and plots that do not necessarily tread on tired ground. In order to start something like that, though, I would need a truly fundamental, emotive reason to tear Harry and Ginny away from the wizarding world -- a premise based on dire need, and a premise bearing opportunities for the two characters to grow and transcend.
Anyway, the quick answer is that yes, I probably would be a sucker for one more semi-large writing project (must finish Trix and a finale to Fuddle Fog / Secrest first though) as long as it gives our two favourite characters a very unique world to develop in.
Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2015.11.15 - 08:34AM Title: Knife's Edge
Extraordinary chapter. I really do not know where to begin. The ancient battle seems about to commence and I cannot imagine what will become of our two young lovers, not to mention Harry and Ginny. The character of Hermione provides necessary grounding in this story and a bit of normality.
Yes indeed -- the stage is set for the penultimate confrontation of AD 61! Power is bubbling up ominously, and matters are very tenuous for our ancient protagonists, as well as for the beloved modern couple whose fate now hinges so crucially upon the tides of history...
I'm glad that you recognize, in Hermione's bit-part in this chapter, the subtle importance that she continues to have. Thanks to a bit of inspiration derived from exchanges with readers such as yourself, though, Hermione may well (before the final curtain) actually step beyond her role of grounding and normality.
My continued gratitude for the thoughtful feedback, MollyandArthur!
Reviewer: LysCsuri Signed Date: 2015.11.14 - 01:30PM Title: Knife's Edge
I really agree with what RighT3rantZ said about poetic prose. You're writing so much about dreams and however realistic much of the dream-time is, the really intense moments are just out of this world -- like I'm dreaming it too! All those people gathering under the moon, the torches on the river, and then Ginny's light in the void -- it was all so... wow! Be careful reading this stuff if you've been taking any, ummmm, substances ;)
Well, how can I not be happy about a review like that -- thanks Lys
Ultimately appreciation of that nature comes down to question of style and preference. A fair number of writers could have covered the same ground as this chapter did in, literally, one tenth of the total word count. For me, though, the goal is less about dictating a story, and more about giving the readers an immersive experience. For some of you, I do appear to be succeeding. Which is fun.
Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2015.11.14 - 10:27AM Title: Knife's Edge
what a chapter!
Wel, diolch yn fawr am y geiriau caredig! Which is to say, thank you very much for the kind words!
Great to hear that you're enjoying the ancestor stories, in addition to our modern protagonists. I'm obviously enjoying the challenge of crafting two characters who are deliberately very similar to Harry and Ginny, yet also different, and with unique enough stories of their own. Without really considering what I was doing, I seem to have embarked on my first real venture in historical fiction -- an endeavour that I intend to revisit in the world of conventional fiction as I have a story that is set in early to mid 19th century Scotland that needs to be told. But I digress...
So you have indeed hit upon a key point, which is the ability of our protagonists to steer their ancient forebears. As you will see, Harry and Ginny are going to require a certain outcome in AD 61, and the ability to achieve that is not 'exactly' in their hands.
Thank you in many ways for your support! Happy reading!
Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2015.11.14 - 04:13AM Title: Knife's Edge
Did you give Ginny the power of the mighty Firey Scorcher with RAM horns AND the Horse Head Staff.....holy s***, I felt like I was right there watching with a front row seat at the end. Harry and the Publican are copacetic via subconscious and conscious awareness via their bond with their mates, aye. Lanosseš and Ginny are actively deducing and exchanging strategic information while the damn Legate is a seemingly weak, but effective misdirection. I was expecting the fire to be used on the Legate but your chosen venue will obviously be acceptable...seeing as how I am just living and breathing and mostly reading. Although I suspect I may be absorbing more than I was expecting, I am now expecting to continue absorbing, since as a reader of your writing it is my job, if not compulsion. Your muse must ooze creativity based on the poetic pose you are spouting. Stories take on a bit of a life of their own, this one I found cradling my imagination, so bravo and congratulations. Read up on the 6th and 7th, clean your quidditch player database, and don't forget the Obeah in Trix when you get around to it.
Great power, yes, but as you'll discover in the next chapter, at least some of the great eruption was actually a very impressive illusion. As to who, exactly, shall channel the will of the great spirit Camulos (he of the ram-horns), and who truly should wield the horse-head staff -- these are questions yet to be resolved. Stay tuned...
Very gratified that you're enjoying the prose and imagery. While I have taken some short stories very seriously, this is the first time that I have truly dedicated myself to the finer nuances of a longer tale. Thus I am indeed going back, as time permits, and refining earlier chapters. Nothing of substance is being altered, though if a reader was to check earlier parts, I think they'd find some points and images sharpened (or smoothed).
Good points well taken! I myself have been itching to scour my authour page (the Quidditch stuff I will likely relegate to my long-neglected fiction / fanfic page (http://ghlfiction.tumblr.com/). That would free up some space for the occasional message or update, plus perhaps some background info relevant to Splinters or Trix. If anyone has any ideas what that should be, I will definitely consider it.
Oh, and let me say that there's a while left to go, but Trix will end in a blaze of wild Obeah.
Thank you for your ever-illuminating insight!
Reviewer: potternut190 Signed Date: 2015.11.13 - 11:47PM Title: Knife's Edge
I certainly am enjoying the tale you are spinning. Awesome!
Reviewer: Wolfs_Scream Signed Date: 2015.11.13 - 09:22AM Title: Knife's Edge
This business of the Publican and LannosŽa being "more aware" of the natures of their ... visitors ...does add a bit of a wrinkle to things. Definitely still interesting! :-)
Very true -- the 'awareness' twist is very key to some coming developments; choices that may not all be so clear and unambiguous as those that have been encountered thus far.
In my mind, your points 1, 2 and 4 are all connected. The issue of a common enemy is going to drive things to a climax more rapidly (in this story context) than is we were to follow every detail of the Iceni Rebellion itself. The princess and the Publican are not, after all, in this story with the goal of driving the Romans into the sea. One can see them gunning exclusively for the Legate, right? Unless things get more complicated, of course...
Ah, no question that Hermione has served admirably (though not happily) for comic relief, and she is indeed so very tweakable! It is possible, though, that she may get the last laugh (or hurrah).
Thank you most kindly for your comments and for serving behind the scenes as de facto (or post facto) beta!
Reviewer: gracepark Signed Date: 2015.11.13 - 06:57AM Title: Knife's Edge
Interesting! Very slowly we're learning more and more backstory to the Publican and the princess. So not only was Publican's wife a dark witch, but she tried to kill him? We've heard less about the princess, except that she learned her magic from her grandmother (not mother), and that she felt guilty for not being able to save her father's life. And her father was killed by a Coritani? That explains why the princess was suspicious about going to them for her mother's new wand. Yet the queen didn't seem to care. Curiouser and curiouser!
Yes, I like to think of character development as being like getting to know a new acquaintance. Every once in a blue moon, one meets a person and really quickly gets to know them, but in the vast majority of cases the familiarization process is more gradual -- a bit here and a bit there.
Glad you enjoyed Harry's & Ginny's little tete-a-tete and yes, fear not! There will be a lot more together time and some good 'explaining' in the next chapter.
Speaking of which, I hope to post the week after next. I doubt that I will ever reliably reach the chapter-per-week rate that I achieved with The Prevailing Counterpoint but the tradefoff, I think, is that the quality of composition should be a lot more consistent in these newer stories.
Thank you for reading and reviewing, Grace!
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2015.11.13 - 05:01AM Title: Knife's Edge
Wow, it's a record. Validation within 0,nothing. Does this have anything to do with magic?
A record indeed -- I owe a tremendous thank you to Hannah on that one, for making up for the fact that I was so slow in getting this posted! Here's a tip for all you budding authours out there -- it does not help one's writing productivity if one has a nasty chunk of Java code to try to debug at the same time. Eck.
So yes, the next step is indeed done. There are a couple more major AD 61 events to tackle, but that portion of the story is beginning to ramp up toward climax. There is perhaps a bit more than that left in 1995 to weave our way through, but it is also more than half way through.
Regarding your discussion of the Harry/Peuerellius and Ginny/LanossŽa connections, I am definitely going to agree completely that Ginny and LanossŽa do interact with each other more noticeably than Harry and the Publican but, while Ginny is unquestionably critical to Harry's success, I would ask the following question regarding the Publican and the princess -- who is critical to whose success? In other words, who drives and who navigates?
Do Harry and Ginny change the outcome of the Iceni Rebellion? To this, I offer one vague clue: in my writing, character development is always a tip-off to character outcome.
Finally, that is an excellent question about Diras -- one that I myself recently had to ask. Diras ended up being a lot more colorful than I might originally have guessed, and with that comes a temptation to expand his role, but the fact of the matter is that it would be hard to fit someone that darkly ambiguous and personally flamboyant into 1995. I believe he will have to remain a one-age wonder.
Great questions and (quite possibly) frustrating answers. Thank you very much for your latest wisdom, Martin!
Reviewer: Aragorn Signed Date: 2015.11.13 - 12:09AM Title: Knife's Edge
You ARE having fun with this one, aren't you?
Having fun? Absolutely! This was another one of those 'single bullet point' chapters that somehow bubbled up into 9000+ words before it was done. En route I had to learn about the Julian calendar, Trinovante succession, and pore over topographical maps of Suffolk. That in itself is half the fun. The other half involved the wild details that inevitably emerge when I give myself a lot of latitude. I will, however, keep it all straight. Or, to be more accurate, I will make sure that all of the twisty connections link up in the end :)
LanossŽa cliffhanger: I am personally betting that at least 5-10% of readers will guess correctly what happened to the princess up on that hill (i.e., what the power surge implies) since there are hints already in place. The question is whether or not any readers will chance a public guess? I await with curiosity. Note that, unlike many colourful details in the chapter that emerged as I was winging it, this bit is quite fundamental.
And yes indeed -- it will now be time to get back to Harry's & Ginny's own 1995 story.
Thank you for your thoughtful thoughts!,
Reviewer: KateP Signed Date: 2015.11.12 - 06:34PM Title: Knife's Edge
My review on the last chapter did not work I think but anyway the main part was how interesting I found the guy ginny was talking to about the dreams
Hey Kate! Thank you most kindly for the loyal readership and reviewing!
The good news is that your last review did indeed register -- thanks! It actually got lumped into the chapter 1 reviews -- I guess that's the default if one registers a review from the story's main page. Most everyone falls for that little trick from time to time.
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and found it interesting! It starts so slowly and introspectively that I was worried that readers would start to nod off before the big bang around word 8500 :)
I appreciate how you key in on the different variants of the final battle -- it will all make sense in the end.