Reviews For Splinters
Reviewer: TomBombadil Signed Date: 2017.02.04 - 04:56AM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
I feel like I have traversed a field of land mines! So many things going on and one wrong step means, "kaboom!" How well was Ginny able to protect her mind? That Albus is getting shifty, using Legilimency on Ginny! Arse! Sometimes I just need to pick up one of the stories that depict Dumbledore as an evil, controlling bastard! But I digress! Does Hermione's not already know too much? Couldn't Dumbledorepenetrate her mind as easily as Ginny's or more so. Risky! Especially since Hermione's is more apt to run off after authority figures' blessings than is Ginny. But speaking of, not too crafty by our favorite and most crafty witch! Interrogate Dumbledore about the Elder Wand and then asking to see his wand????? Where is her crafty, sneaky, sublety? Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Finally, how is Ginny feeling sympathetic morning sickness for the princess? I assume that's what is going on, unless they were up to more than dreaming while curled up together! Great stuff!
A minefield, indeed! We did see in chapter 6 that there are times when serious mistakes may be amended through sheer force of will, but the further they are along the path, the fewer the opportunities will be for correction; the higher the stakes.
Was it a mistake for Ginny to trigger Dumbledore's tripwire? I think so, as that clearly placed a target on her back. The tradeoff is, though, that she got useful information.
Was it a mistake to Let Hermione charge ahead on a non-traditional role? In this case, I don't think so. More of a cross between calculated risk, and making the best of a bad situation. The risk you delineate is real (Hermione does know enough to pose a problem), but having her run interference is a useful buy for time. Time, of course, is the invaluable currency of the story. The question, then, is whether Hermione can buy enough of it...?
Finally, congratulations on coming to the 'morning sickness' conclusion faster than any other reviewer. Apparently the careful, deliberate reading pays off!
Reviewer: MisterBlack Signed Date: 2016.03.16 - 11:05PM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
You know... technically Dumbledore didn't do much in this chapter but yet he was still intimidating. There are some authors who really dislike Albus Dumbledore.It is because of their dislike or even hatred of the character that they often write him as some conniving, evil, and self-serving old man that is easily duped. Some people often forget that Albus Dumbledore is the only wizard that scares Voldemort.
All excellent points! Let me first address the issue of Dumbledore, by saying first and foremost that if I had chosen to set this story at any other point along the canonical trail, the Headmaster would undoubtedly have been a very different character. Through most episodes within the first four books, Dumbledore is a grandfatherly mentor -- wise in many judgments, uniformly understanding, and often mildly amusing. In HBP, he is a fount of critical knowledge, but is satisfyingly deferential to Harry, whose maturity he is finally recognizing. But for reasons known only to JKR, the man spends an inordinate amount of the time in OotP, being thick, big-headed and callous. It is this version of the otherwise benificent Albus whom you're seeing most in my story. Yet, just as Dumbledore wisely chooses to take the fall for Umbridge's discovery of the DA, and just as he capitulates tearily at the end of OotP, there are glimmers of the gold within the Splinters persona of Dumbledore. You just have to wait a while.
You're obviously on the mark on Ginny and the princess. Concerns warranted, but I will allay your concerns somewhat and say that of the many pitfalls one can see in this situation, the perils will come from other angles.
Thank you for another wonderfully evocative review, MisterBlack!
Reviewer: lunagranger Signed Date: 2015.12.13 - 08:39PM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
I've been reading stories just on the mobile and I don't write reviews in English on the mobile. I've teried to reread to make a decent review, but I had to interrupt. So, yeah, I must only say that I love this story and I loved every chapter of it. But one thing I noticed is that there is a scene with george and without Fred. That's something I don't remember seeing in the books and Ithat is happenenig a lot in fanfics that happen when both are alive. Of course it is perfectly acceptable, they are two different people, but it just caught my attention.
Hey Silvia -- wonderful to hear from you!
I completely understand the challenges, and am greatly appreciative of the many many times you've made the effort to say hello and leave me some of your wisdom :) If ever you feel like leaving a review in whatever might be your language of choice, I'd be fine with that. You might confuse some of my readers, but I'm sure I myself do that on a regular basis already.
Regarding F&G, my own practice is that in fics (such as this) that predate their WWW store, I avoid scenes where only one is present, however their performance is often asymmetrical. I write Fred as a bit more of a crafty instigator, and George as a bit more of a good-natured goof. They should generally both be there, but you may see and hear more of one than the other. If I slip up and omit one, then it would be great if you could drop me a note.
Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2015.11.29 - 04:30AM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
I fail to see how much good Dumbledore would be in attaining the iron grip on the horse head...he would be more likely to sympathize with a Legate I would think.
First of all, let me dispense with Dumbledore by agreeing wholeheartedly. Canonically, he places little value in dreams (to him they're always either capricious, or the product of deliberate interference) so if he was made aware of the mechanism of action in this story, he would be at best useless and at worst troublesome. Good enough.
Now, about Hermione... uh oh -- have I out-obfuscated you, of are you yet again steering me in your so-very-subtle ways? As I have hinted (very abstractly perhaps) in past review responses, Hermione in this story is *your* inspiration (a.k.a., your fault). The ride is not yet over for Mlle. Granger (and yes, she surely will offer more shite comments). Let me say, though, that I agree with you -- there is little reason to keep her informed. Irony works best for the clueless...
Thank you kindly for guiding this authour from afar, oh Obeah-master!
Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2015.11.28 - 08:18PM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
Poor Hermione. That offer was a supreme sacrifice for her. I am glad that Harry and Ginny are being so suspicious of accepting outside help. Having said that, it is a bit odd that no one other than Hermione really knows what is going on. The adults in the house perhaps should be a bit more aware of what is happening in the house.
First of all, I'm glad that you're glad that the circle has been kept so small. Rowling's universe revolved first and foremost about the children (then teens) and their heroism in the face of great danger. All of the adults are flawed, and all prove unreliable in at least one instance (except perhaps for Arthur and Flitwick, but neither of them are relied upon for much), so that precept does set the tenor for this story. Yes, I have read stories where Sirius, Bill or someone steps in and provides the steadying hand, but I rarely find them satisfying.
Now, as to exactly how/why nobody has found out thus far, though, there are plausible reasons for many individuals -- Arthur is rarely around, Molly is distracted and Lupin has been misled thus far. That, of course, leaves one adult in the house who... hasn't been heard from a whole lot recently...(?)
And of ccourse, one wonders when the veil of secrecy is bound to fall? Way back in chapter 1, a fair number of readers (likely including yourself) were already seizing on the tenuous proposition of keeping secrets in a refugee camp atmosphere like Grimmauld. The next chapter (mostly through the drafting) looks at the next stage of tremor in this house of cards, so your comment is very timely.
Thank you again for your comment, M&A!
Reviewer: KateP Signed Date: 2015.11.24 - 07:29PM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
Love you add the Druids being a Roman history nut one part that has always intreeged me is there fate the Romans followed them into Wales to wipe them out and a lot that is out that about the,m is more myth than fact
Hey, it's great that you're also having fun with this fanciful little attempt to blend historical fiction with our favourite two magical lovebirds! I say 'also' because it's been a very rich experience for me trying to write it. Indeed yes, there are many mysteries and misconceptions surrounding the pre-Roman cultures in Britain, and it's been interesting trying to sort through them. Ironically, considering how unevenly (and often rapaciously) the Romans dealt with the Britons, it is historians such as Tacitus who are most helpful. Tacitus, in particular, write with surprising objectivity praising, about all, Boadicea's eloquence as her greatest attribute -- hardly what many of us would expect for a Roman writing about a thorny barbarian. Another surprising observation about the Bythonic Druids was how cosmopolitan they were, even before Julius Caeser landed there. The Greeks, of course, had begun trading with the Britons hundreds of years earlier, and the natives apparently admired them greatly. Amazingly, the Trinovantes actually self-proclaimed themselves as survivors of the lost city of Troy! Not exactly the sort of claim one would hear from some bone-chewing barbarian. But I digress (obviously).
Yes, you know I always wondered if the reason Rowling made Dumbledore so flawed in OotP was because she already knew she was going to kill him off in HBP, and she didn't want to completely shatter her readers? Well, if she did, then it certainly worked for me. By the time Albus tumbled from the tower, my only real thoughts were 1) okay, now it's truly time for Harry to shine of his own accord, and 2) I sure hope Harry doesn't blame himself for letting it happen.
Anyway, thank you as always for your thoughts and loyal readership, Kate!
Sorry, let me rewrite one sentence that I completely fouled up: "Tacitus, in particular, writes with surprising objectivity, praising Boadicea's eloquence above all her other strengths."
Heaven knows where my mind was on the first attempt.
Reviewer: Shalli Signed Date: 2015.11.24 - 06:54PM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
Thank you Shalli!
Your stars are doing most of the speaking right here and now, but it wasn't always that way on this site, right?
It Was Worth It -- a wonderful little read that definitely *is* worth it. :)
Reviewer: gracepark Signed Date: 2015.11.24 - 10:30AM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
Interesting way to close with Hermione. I really did not see that coming!
Yes, the closing bit was one of those little flourishes that I also didn't see coming until the chapter was about 75% drafted. There are several internally consistent reasons for wanting to arrange it that way, but ultimately the final construct was intended to be 'poignant'.
The cleaning scene was fun to write. It doesn't really move the plot along, and comedy wasn't really my intention with this story (hence no comedy nomination option) but I did need to stick Harry somewhere while Ginny was getting grilled, and this seemed like a fun way to handle that.
Very gratified to see that you're getting a kick out the story -- thank you once again for leaving some thoughts!
Reviewer: Wolfs_Scream Signed Date: 2015.11.24 - 09:50AM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
I confess that the sharing of the Chamber of Secrets is one of the things I would expect would give Harry & Ginny a fair bit of "common ground" -- well, that, and unwilling proximity to Tom.
Excellent -- thank you David! All corrections made cheerfully to the letter, except for the 'reasons' bit, which I instead adapted and hopefully clarified. If you're curious you can scroll back to see the rephrasing, but basically I view the common phrase 'good reason' as a bit of a malaprop itself, and that passage is a play on that.
If inspiration strikes you, I'd be interested if you can elaborate more on your 'fairly curious' assessment, especially in terms of believability. From the perspective of my intentions, she still didn't feel like she could get away with firing outright verbal flames at her Headmaster, but on the other hand she was desperate to get out of there, so she threw a plausibly logical conversation-stopper and bolted. Please feel free to opine further!
Anyway, such comments are greatly appreciated. I actually gone back and done post-facto edits on most prior chapters (mostly minor phrasing; not real substantiative changes), so I'm going to regard this as a work in progress until the final "done" button is clicked.
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2015.11.24 - 03:54AM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
Well, well, that was again much food for thought. Why Dumbledore wanted to talk to Ginny alone? Because he was hoping for an easy opponent? Or did he want to avoid contact to Harry, just like in canon? The obvious impression was the former option. But it was probably both.
Lagavulin! The smoldering sherry undertones make for an excellent pairing to cerebral clandestine intrigue! For the fire and intensity of the next chapter, you might consider the deeper smoke and spice of a Laphroig...
However, as you gently observe, the start of this chapter was not exactly 'fire and intensity'. Egad, it took me over 3000 words to get them both out of bed... Must be writing a romance or something.
Anyway, I'm not quite certain how these long introspections keep taking root. I believe that if written with care (and if not overdone) then they can be a useful component of a story, but the truth is that they take a lot more time to edit than good action or dialogue. Consequently, for sanity's sake I think I'm going to cut down on them for a while, reserving the right to fall back on introspection a bit right around the final crisis. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, contemplations and all :)
So, is Hermione up to the daunting challenge she's volunteering for? That's an exceptionally good question! I would posit that the only way she can truly help (rather than hurt) the situation is if she's smart and creative...
Thank you again Martin! Ich bin sehr dankbar für Ihre Meinung!
Reviewer: mdauben Signed Date: 2015.11.23 - 11:12PM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
Another good chapter. This growing friction and distrust between Dumbledore and Harry (and Ginny, too) is interesting and very much I feel in tune with canon. Dumbledore did handle this situation in the book surprisingly poorly and it's nice to see Harry dealing with it in your story. I will be interested in seeing what happens next, between Hermione's ofFer and dumbledore's suspicions.
Bravo -- you have hit the nail on the head! Although Dumbledore is being a daft old coot in both canon and this AU, the crux is really how Harry responds to that complication. And by the phrase 'dealing with it', I'm fairly certain that neither of us is satisfied with the depressing 'Harry assumes that if Dumbledore is ignoring Harry, then it must be Harry's fault' plot line. He did strayed a little close to the defeatist attitude at the end of the hearing, but clearly his resolve has since strengthened.
What remains of course is the question, as you say, of what happens next. You will be getting some hints of that in the next chapter, before the story returns to the gates of Camboricum.
Many thanks for reading and reviewing, mdauben!
Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2015.11.23 - 06:39PM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
Why can Dumbledore never just ask what he wants to know in a n honest fashion?
Why indeed? Devious old crank...
Actually, the emerging complaint in this case varies just a little from the way you state it. His misconduct in the conversation with Ginny arises from one canonical, and one pseudocanonical, issue. The canonical problem is that Dumbledore want to minimize contact with Harry if at all possible, due to a misguided belief that Voldemort has either possessed him, or can see through him. The pseudocanonical mess in this case (and hence our natural protest) is his use of Legilimency. The reason I think this is kind of on the edge of canon is that, although Rowling never actually comes out and admits that Dumbledore routinely uses Legilimency, a lot of evidence points in this direction: knowing who's at his door before they knock; always perceiving more than one rightfully should, etc. Supposedly most people never notice Dumbledore's probing, but for reasons that become more apparent in subsequent chapters, somebody does in this case. Ginny obviously. And she's not a fan.
Anyway, those are subtle distinctions, and of a bit of a preview-ish nature. Definitely a good point to have raised. My gratitude, as always, for offering your sage words, Dad!
Reviewer: LysCsuri Signed Date: 2015.11.23 - 02:42PM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
Oh, poor Hermione, what a choice to face! Believable? I think so. More than anything, so ironic! Have you seriously been setting her up all this time? Always deferred, always frustrated, and now she's going to force herself out of the circle?? So sweet and sad.
Hey Lys -- thank you for a thought-provoking review!
Regarding Hermione, I have to admit that, no, I didn't have her aligned all along for this selfless, magnanimous gesture, but it fit extremely well with the plot pivots that are needed to set her up for something to come. I was inspired by a reviewer quite some time ago to carve out a unique role for Ms. Granger, and such a role unfolds best if she remains a bit off to the side until the end.
Asking whether Ginny should be honest about the anxiety she feels over the incumbent responsibilities is valid. To be honest, you'll eventually find out that her angst is a bit of a sleight of hand, but it would not be 'believable' (to which you and many readers attach value) if she wasn't up front with Harry about it. Although in canon she was not proactive with respect to Harry, she certainly *was* a go-getter from her fourth year on, so I can certainly see her wanting to clear away any fears and uncertainties, lest they get in the way later. Good point!
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2015.11.23 - 10:54AM Title: No Greater Sacrifice
oh what a fascinating chapter
Always a joy to get a cheery quip from GinnyWeasley777! So, I'm curious about the '777' business. Should we all be celebrating something at 7:00 a.m. next July 7th? Or perhaps you're one sixth greater than the average l'il devil? Or, 'seven is magic' (and triply so)? Inquiring fans might wish to know...
Speaking of fans, I loved your six word novel! Not that it matters (apparently), but my wand is of average size.
Finally, onto the serious portion of this correspondence: yes, this marks yet another foray into the great sport of Dumbledore-bashing. In this case, while I certainly must credit other AD-bashers such as Brennus and Fake-a-Smile, I'm actually harkening back to the very first basher of them all -- the illustrious JKR herself. Order of the Phoenix was rather a low point for old Albus Percival; rather consistently poor behaviour, except for that bit about selflessly taking responsibility for the DA. In particular, his decision in canon to consistently alienate Harry was (although sprung from a plausible motive) rather poorly conceived, and this Harry (especially given an infusion of red-headed backbone) is far less accepting of it. Ginny even less so.
Thank you so kindly for the review and for what you do for the site!