Search:

SIYE Time:5:09 on 20th September 2017

Reviews For Splinters

Reviewer: TomBombadil Signed Date: 2017.02.06 - 02:26AM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarstar

memento mei ' spells b Literally, figuratively, or both, Harry will return to Ginny, or she will find and catch him, thereby keeping him from falling. Methinks the phrase means more than just finding there way back to the battle in 61 A.D.

Author's Response:

Ah! 'Memento mei' would indeed have been a perfect little double entendre, wouldn't it have?

Unfortunately, although your perception of the outcome (one of two options, I should say) is spot on, I didn't actually employ the memory device symbolism.

Great observation, as it would have been very much in my character though!



Reviewer: MisterBlack Signed Date: 2016.03.21 - 02:13PM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarstar

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

You would think that I would be annoyed and livid at Dumbledore for his actions (and I am) but I think Hermione takes the cake. What was she doing?!? Did Dumbledore inhibit her from talking? Was she unable to warn him off? She KNOWS what is at stake here!

I at least hope Ron is better able to take care of Harry and Ginny from now on but I doubt it. He was completely left out. Sorry... this just really annoyed me to no end because I know this is exactly what would happen had it happened in canon.

I am running late so I do have to go...apologies for the short review. Other than the bit that just annoys me... fantastic chapter. :)


Author's Response:

You did indeed know it -- we have the electronic time stamps to prove it :) Anyway, in assigning blame for this near-catastrophe, various readers faulted Hermione's and/or Sirius's carelessness, or Dumbledore's ethical lapse. This is a story filled with flawed characters; everyone (other than Harry and Ginny) is a disappointment at some point or other, and even Harry and Ginny are limited in the sense of being fifteen and fourteen respectively. They're filled to the brim with dedication and good intentions, but their magic has not fully matured, and they are dealing with situations that (despite their hard work) they don't fully understand. Anyway, it is true that nobody in this story worked harder to try to safeguard Harry's and Ginny's secrets, so it is ironic that a critical slipup like that should have occurred under her nose.

Ron is starting to re-acquire good intentions, and this will serve a purpose of sorts, but you're right -- his questionable behaviour earlier put him on the sidelines, and he doesn't quite have time to really catch up.

Anyway, vindication awaits for all those who honestly seek it, so hopefully your (well justified) irritation will be soothed. Thanks for the review!



Reviewer: nesciamema Signed Date: 2016.01.22 - 01:43AM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarhalf-star

Hermione is an idiot sometimes.

Author's Response:

Ah, for letting slip the location and significance of the brooch? Interestingly, another person faulted Sirius for that indiscretion, but I think what is clear is that Grimmauld Place is a difficult place to keep secrets, and the people who have them aren't always as cautious as they should be.

In any case, next chapter is an opportunity for several characters to make amends rather than mistakes...

Speaking of next chapter, I must get back to my editing. Thank you for the review, Nesciemema!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2016.01.20 - 03:48PM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarstar

Oh, Dumbledore in the footsteps of Mundungus Fletcher. Like an ordinary thief, he steals the silverware from Grimmauld Place, the property of his students. He sneaks secretly into the girls' dormitories at night. For the former, he should be thrown out of the Order like Mundungus, and for the latter he should be dismissed as headmaster, regardless of his intentions.

I am curious to see if Hermione gets the chance share her dream experiences about a world without Harry and a dead Ginny with her friends.
... and by the way, I've tried to the Accio berries trick. Unfortunately it did not work, probably my berries are deaf. Maybe I should try it wordless.

Sorry for being late again. However, it has the advantage of a shorter waiting time for the next chapter.
Many thanks for another wonderful instalment!
And from deep in my heart I hope that someone tries the Roman and Brythonic spells and curses at Dumbledore in the very next chapter.

Author's Response:

No worries about being a bit delayed in making my day with one of your well-considered reviews, Martin! I had feared that you might sit out and wait for the next chapter (in light of a certain authour's penchant for ending chapters at inopportune moments). But thankfully you chimed in!

Now that chapter 16 is mostly written I will have to state regretfully that no Brythonic or Roman hexes will befall the wayward headmaster quite yet, but I hope you enjoy Hermione's plucking of a certain spell from Flitwick's repertoire...

Speaking of Hermione's alternate universe, that's a good question. Things will be a bit frenzied for a while, and will hinder the characters from getting amiably caught up with each other, but I have just now thought of a good way to wrap up that anecdote in an epilogue. Thanks for the suggestion!

'Accio berries' requires a subtle, tremulous sub-oscillation to the wand motion, or else you'll end up with lots of leaf-matter. Works best for raspberries and blackberries; strawberries tend to get squished, and elderberries are too small...

Thank you for the review!



Reviewer: CosmykAngel Signed Date: 2016.01.20 - 01:45AM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstar

Damn Dumbledore and his medling. is there a way to follow stories? I really like this one.

Cosmyk

Author's Response:

Drat that dastardly disruptive Dumbledore!

So normally I would answer your question by suggesting that you'll get immediate story update notices if you add the story to your favourites list, but I see that you have already just done so. Thank you, CosmykAngel!

Now I must merely crash through another couple thousand words, edit edit edit, and then post. Still hoping for Friday.



Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2016.01.18 - 09:11AM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarstar

Leaving us with a cruel cliffhanger in this chapter. Hopefully Ron's yelling will summon help for them soon, but what on earth can be done? Harry seems to be summoned and at the mercy of a man who wants him dead in another time and place. It seems that Ginny is back at Grimmauld place, but her condition may not be much better than Harry's, although apparently the princess has control of the chariot for the time being. What is Albus doing, and what is he thinking? I realize he may be completely unaware of causing harm by taking the brooch and may even believe he is helping and protecting Ginny, but his behavior in the story has been questionable to say the least. Being in the girls' bedroom and prying the brooch from her fingers is rather creepy of him. Why would he not just appeal to Molly for assistance in getting it away from Ginny if he believes it is harming her? Really eager for the next chapter.

Author's Response:

Yes, I apologise for leaving you all in the lurch! It's not actually a sadistic urge on my part -- more a matter of riding a natural roller coaster, and having to find suitable places to break the narrative. I think that at least I'll be able to avoid such dramatica interruptio in the next chapter

Speaking of the next chapter, you asked the question of 'what can be done'? Well, once upon a time, our ancestors lived in societies where if a child learned how to swim, it was probably because either a) they fell in the lake, or b) they were pushed in. I suppose there were some positive metrics to such a society (e.g., the ratio of number of swimmers to total time spent learning to swim was likely near optimal) but undoubtedly a fair number of people either drowned or stayed well clear of the lake. Well, let me just state without reservation that Harry and Ginny are swimmers...

Shifting gears to misbehaving headmasters, I must admit that, yes, I fear that while I am (at least superficially) a Dumbledore apologist when I compose my review responses, I did write him as a creep. When the story is over, you will at least see what he has been thinking amongst these bouts of questionable behaviour. I suspect that few readers will exonerate him though.

Next chapter is progressing well -- hope to get it to you reasonably soon.

Thank you very much for the thought provoking review, M&A!



Reviewer: LysCsuri Signed Date: 2016.01.14 - 02:17PM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarstar

Fascinating how the beginning of the dream involved the princess and Publican, but then the point of view changed to Harry/Ginny after that own dream within a dream. It makes perfect sense, and reminds us that Harry/Ginny are truly different than Publican/princess, but it also seems to bring us full circle, but shifted? Back in chapter 1, Harry and Ginny were dragged into dreams with no real understanding of what they were acting out, and now they go into the dreams taking full control, while the Publican and princess just let them.

Completely unique story! Wild, wacky, but so much fun. The relationships are wonderful and the writing makes me tingle! Best wishes to your muse; hope you can churn out the next bit soon!

Author's Response:

Hey Lys! Nice way to think about, in terms of the cyclical process. The pseudosymmetry was actually unintentional, although in retrospect both the way things started, and the way things resolve, are necessarily H/G-focused. This is, after all, a Harry/Ginny story. This said, however, there is a bit more to unfold that is to Paternas and Lanossëa alone.

As to the rest of your kind words, flattery will get you nowhere. Heck, who am I kidding -- flattery will get you a chapter sooner! As if I'd be immune to such basic inclinations.

Thank you very much for your comments and your loyal readership, Lys!



Reviewer: demonesprit Signed Date: 2016.01.13 - 07:58PM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarstar

I'm about to strangle Dumbledore - hex him for meddling in things he only THINKS he understands. Grrr.

Can't wait for your next chapter.

Author's Response:

Mistaken presumptions of understanding! HP canon is loaded with them (it must be Rowling's favourite theme), but that doesn't make it any easier on anyone's blood pressure... I really should hex him, shouldn't I? Would you settle for him being humiliated by those whom he presumes are mistaken? Go ahead and opine if you feel so inclined; I'd kind of settled on a general framework for his comeuppance, but that was before I suddenly realized that I've never seen a fanfic where Dumbledore gets the old Bat Bogey treatment...

I'm kidding of course. I think...

Thank you for the review, 'De Mon Esprit'! I shall endeavour to get you a new chapter soon!



Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2016.01.13 - 03:38PM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarstar

VEry nice chapter, firstly and fore mostly. The sensory descriptors of the void in which Harry appeared has got to be in the Tip 4 of your writing. The other 3 were so descriptive at the moment of delivery that I can't quite recall...perhaps it was just your imagination that I read the other ones. My hallucination? Same result :)

The Pevererell Vs Potter Accio war was creative use of an old chArm. How it wraps into Dumbles simultaneous Brooch jacking still appears as unclear. Is DumbLèdore somehow in cahoots with the destiny of the man with the spooky magical preception as gazed at by the Publican but with the full consciousnesses of a 15 year old Potter? Also as per a few chapters back 15 year old Harry had better gut instincts to understand the 14yr old Ginny than perhaps future or alternate forms. The proof is they got together and Harry made peace with it at the time. Perception is a son of a bitch sometimes it seems.

Is the Brooch truly the enabler of all this madness or does the power still like within our two protagonists (whichever time period) even without the Brooch? What is the fate of the Staff? Will the grip on the Horse Head be a back and forth battle? This Cliff is choking me out!

As a side note I am voting for Trix over the trilogy after this story, but admittedly this is for selfish reasons.

Author's Response:

Hmmm! Many things to discuss here -- let me see if I can get through a full response before my eyelids droop from the lateness of the hour.

Once again, we find ourselves on the same astral plane it seems. The void segment was indeed all about 'sensory'. The senses were the essential metrics of *what exists* within the void, and state of mind is the enabler of "what can exist*. Whether it was my imagination or yours is immaterial, since a good authour is but a wireless projector of his greatest readers.

So I will state categorically that Dumbledore did not collude with Antioch Peverell in this unfortunate happenstance... however I actually stumbled very recently upon an article on a HP fan site that attempted to argue that Dumbledore is a descendant of Antioch (thus mirroring Voldemort/Cadmus and Harry/Ignotus). As far as I'm concerned, that may or may not be, but the truth we shall confirm is that old Albus is simply being thick.

And yes indeed! Doesn't it just bring a certain joie de vivre to think that the greatest, wisest choice Harry might make is discovering Ginny sooner rather than later?? That assertion is quite convincing if you and I both make it, but ultimately also ten thousand fan fiction pieces surely can't be wrong!

Is the brooch an enabler? Yes. Is it truly essential? Trust your heart, my friend! Sometimes training wheels seem vital... until they are no longer so. This said, however, the brooch does still have one more story to foster.

Will the grip be a back and forth? To this there is a clear answer that I will blatantly obfuscate: remember Chapter 6. And thus, once again, the oracle dims, and the old raven takes flight toward the sunset.

And yes, for you and LunaGranger and Aimless, I shall get Trix moving again soon! And I am still counting on you to discuss the conditions of a premise.

Merci beaucoup, encore!



Reviewer: Shalli Signed Date: 2016.01.13 - 08:32AM Title: Very Very Wrong

Cassius Dio certainly has a way with words, doesn't he? Great chapter, although in all honesty it's left me with violent urges towards Dumbledore. I'm going to picture him as Michael Gambon Dumbledore rather than Richard Harris Dumbledore as a result of this. What a creep, hanging around disillusioned in the room of under aged teens throughout the night...

In regards to your note at the start, I confess to being torn. I'd love to see another episode in the Fuddle Fog series (and may be devastated if it finishes at a trilogy), but can see your point about the cliffhanger you've left us all on the precipice of. I suspect I'd be happy either way.

Author's Response:

Yes, I definitely enjoy Cassius Dio for his articulate prose -- distinctly more flavourful than most ancient historians. In truth, his grasp of the real events is likely weaker than Tacitus, and just about every word he puts into the queen's mouth is likely apocryphal, but he's distinctly fair to the Iceni viewpoint and, well, he's just more entertaining.

Yes, I would have to say that the latest turn of events paints Dumbledore in decidedly unflattering tones. He is definitely not evil but his moral compass is not quite attuned.

Thank you for the feedback on Splinters vs. Fuddle Fog! I think the time for Splinters is 'now' -- it has reached its fevered pitch and must be sated. Fuddle Fog, I will commence writing soon thereafter. I had wanted to finish it as part of one more Challenge call, but ultimately it would fit best with a call that included a humour category.

Appreciate the comments, Shalli!



Reviewer: Shalli Signed Date: 2016.01.13 - 07:43AM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstar

Right. First off, I haven't read the entire chapter yet, so bear with me. I'll review again when I get to the end. Just hit the bit where Lano is talking about the Governor of Britannia battling the Welsh and screeched to a halt. Calling them the Welsh is like saying that the Iceni are in East Anglia. Which they are, I suppose. To us, anyhow. The tribes in what is now Wales are Britons, quite like the Iceni. Paulinus was battling his way through to Mona to strike at the Druids. I don't believe there is a concensus on who the native tribe was on the isle of Mona, itself, but surrounding it was the territory of the Ordovices, so it's a reasonable bet to put their name down as being involved (incidentally, they're an excellent example of a tribe which used guerrilla warfare to great advantage for some time against the Romans). Wales and Welsh didn't come into the picture until the Anglo Saxon times (like East Anglia which gets its origins as an Anglo-Saxon Kingdom), and in a rather cruel twist is literally labelling them as 'foreign'.

Tl;dr? Not Welsh. Try Ordovices instead. Or other tribe names from the vicinity.


Back to reading, I need to know what is happening next!

Author's Response:

Good point! I'm going to make one of my placeholder responses while I think about this. To some extent there were already regional cultural differences emerging by AD 61 which might prompt Britons from the south east (Romanised, and a relative economic powerhouse) to view the westernmost fiercely independent tribes like the Ordovices, Silures and Brigantes as somewhat distinct, despite linguistic homogeneity. The Iceni, by dint of Prasutagus's misguided faith in Rome, were relatively urbane (even by southeast standards) so I believe I can persuade readers that someone like Lanossëa would instinctively distinguish herself from the less civilised western tribes. You are 100% correct to fault me for calling them Welsh, however. Perhaps I may just wax prosaic and have her stereotypify them as 'westerners'.

More later, after I've cogitated a little more.



Author's Response: How about: “This fellow Paulinus has been battling the western tribes for too long, Terna. He is beginning to think with the hard edge of an Ordovice, and the wily malice of a Silure.”



Reviewer: gracepark Signed Date: 2016.01.13 - 05:53AM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarstar

Oh my, that's a rough turn! But, all in all, this has to be the very best chapter so far in a story full of great ones. It's not easy to find drama and imagery that stacks up to the battle sequence! And is Ron starting to get with the picture? It has me on pins and needles. Well done!

Author's Response:

Well, I'm distinctly flattered to hear that you're enjoying the story and that you liked this most recent chapter! I really enjoyed writing, and even editing it. It forms a more coherent narrative, that will hopefully largely prevail through the rest of the story.

A rough turn indeed, but there are places even within this chapter itself that should afford you hope.

Thank you for your kind words, Grace!



Reviewer: Wolfs_Scream Signed Date: 2016.01.12 - 11:33PM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarhalf-star

It's apparent that Sirius isn't quite paranoid enough..... :-( (After all, Harry has known that Dumbledore could render himself invisible since the encounter with the Mirror of Erised, so it seems at least plausible that Sirius would be aware of that particular skill.)

Yeah, that's a very well-planned trap -- reminds me of certain chess strategies.

I wonder one could every get wizards and witches ==>?
I wonder one could ever get wizards and witches

Heh -- "accio" (for berry-picking) certainly avoids contact with a large number of brambles & thorns. :-}

Aye; that ending seems pretty bad.

Well done.

Author's Response:

First of all, thank you for the glitch-catch, David!

You raise a good point -- Sirius (and indeed also Harry, Ginny and Hermione) have all engaged in sensitive conversations with various nominal attempts at discretion. Sirius did indeed let his guard down at an inopportune time. In general, one would expect that people in the house would know whenever someone attempted to get past Walburga at the door, or used the floo. One may surmise that when the late night Order meeting broke up, Sirius went to rejoin the company of his Ogdens and it simply didn't occur to him that one of the meeting attendees never left. A rather critical oversight...

Regarding the battle strategy, what you're seeing in this chapter is a composite of selected details from Tacitus, Cassius Dio, and from this fascinating new archaeological study: http://www.craftpegg.com/Battle_Church_S towe_CP.pdf. The latter is not yet the established standard theory for the final battle, but is exceptionally well researched and compelling. At the very least it provides a source of fun prospective details.

Thank again for your note and for all the feedback!



Author's Response: Note: if anyone tries to use or copy the above URL, be sure to delete any spurious white space that the Comment system may introduce into the address.



Reviewer: KateP Signed Date: 2016.01.12 - 05:41PM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarhalf-star

Oh when will albus learn not to mess with things he does not understand I am so looking forward to Harry and ginny confronting him over all this

going to be a long wait to see what happens next

Author's Response:

Yes indeed -- why on Earth would the same Dumbledore who blithely let so many near disasters erupt under his nose during the first four books suddenly decide that his most promising students need to be controlled? Where did the misguided micromanager come from? Who is he more afraid of -- Voldemort, or his own enterprising students? As I just stated to mdauben, I am going to do my best to not keep you dangling on such questions for too long!

Oh, and Kate, you have raised a very interesting point: while I have indeed mapped out what *some* of the residents of Grimmauld Place are going to say to the illustrious Headmaster in short order, I have not yet actually (sheepish blush) thought about what either Harry or Ginny will say to the meddling muddler. If you had a choice phrase that you feel would be justly deserved in such a confrontation, I would be happy to give it serious consideration (you can try sending me a PM), but if you would prefer to be surprised, that too is fine.

Thank you for your comments and your patience!



Reviewer: mdauben Signed Date: 2016.01.12 - 05:20PM Title: Very Very Wrong

starstarstarstarstar

Oh, no! We're going to have to wait two weeks after that cliff hanger! Another great chapter and you've got me wondering and worrying just what trouble Dumbledores ill times interference may have caused.

Author's Response:

Well, in truth I am definitely going to do my best to turn the chapter around a bit quicker than that. I reminded myself that part of the lag on the last chapter was the fact that I spent two days out of commission due to traveling.

And isn't that the crux of the matter -- how damaging will Dumbledore's blunder be? There is a little clue to that mid-way through this chapter... a segment that might otherwise have seemed a bit out of place with the narrative.

I'm grateful for the kind words, glad that you enjoyed the chapter, and do hope to not make you wait overlong. Thank mdauben!




../back
‘! Go To Top ‘!

Sink Into Your Eyes is hosted by Computer Partners. HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related characters are trademarks of Warner Bros. TM & © 2001-2006. Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions on this site are those made by the owners. All stories(fanfiction) are owned by the author and are subject to copyright law under transformative use. Authors on this site take no compensation for their works. This site © 2003-2006 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Special thanks to: Aredhel, Kaz, Michelle, and Jeco for all the hard work on SIYE 1.0 and to Marta for the wonderful artwork.
Featured Artwork © 2003-2006 by Yethro.
Design and code © 2006 by SteveD3(AdminQ)
Additional coding © 2008 by melkior and Bear