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Reviewer: Hippothestrowl Signed Date: 2016.12.31 - 02:29PM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
Interesting chapter. Most rewrites of the original story tend to have too much repetition of the old stuff but this has a lot of new twists. Again, I want to give it 7.5 so I'll give it 8 to make up for the 7 I gave the previous chapter! :D
- Hip
Reviewer: tali Signed Date: 2016.12.12 - 07:46AM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
this has got some really good lines in it, and is quite a good read, but all the spelling mistakes mess it up and make it hard to fully enjoy
Reviewer: nayin1704 Signed Date: 2016.06.14 - 07:27PM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
Yehey, he will see Ginny now. Hope they'll be friends.
Author's Response: well, this is S.I.Y.E., but yes and thanks for your review
Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2016.02.18 - 05:18PM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
Just a quick note, I don't mind anyone borrowing dialogues from the originals. Seeing as how every one of these stories borrows a great deal from J.K.'s work at the heart of it so to speak, at the very least. The notations where you are showing the lines have been borrowed prove a little distracting from reading, however. Their appearance kinda messes with my temporary dropping of disbelief I need to read these transformative fictional works. Other than that, enjoyable chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, comments and continued reading, I have not pulled any direct excerpts again in this story, so far, so that should not be a continued concern, well first line ch. 4 but after that ...
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2015.10.16 - 08:32AM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
I'll never complain about large chapter, I love them. And I like your humorous style of writing.
The question of whether to spare Ginny the year with Tom is a very tough question, and for sure one of the major events which need to be considered in a time altering story. Her experience with Tom certainly has been important for her character.
Unfortunately, JKR hasn't paid Ginny much attention. OK, she's been talking to Harry in OotP about her experiences with Tom. And this was important for both of them to become closer and to build trust. But in the changed time Harry trusts her already, right? I think, the question is, how and who would Ginny be when she has not had this experience? What can Harry do to replace these experiences through a different experience?
Sure it would be very cruel, if she lived through that year as in the original time and afterwards Harry has to explain her that he could have prevented it.
I think you are right. Harry should spare Ginny this experience. However, to balance it out he should incorporate her a little more time and earlier in his mission to become closer and to build trust. And exactly this is what Harry has planned anyway, right?
... and then there were a few minor things which confused me a bit ( I don't want to complain, but show that I have read carefully ;-) )
Remus has congratulated Harry to his birthday when he brought the Ministry lists to Harry's room, right? But this was on the day before his birthday.
Harry hasn't read the letters he got from Dobby. (OK, maybe he has done in the off-time.)
Apparently Remus was lucky that he hasn't been arrested for the usage of underage magic when he used Harry's wand, lol.
The word "of coarse" is not familiar to me.
It's been a great chapter. Thank You!
And now I am looking forward to meet Ginny.
Author's Response: /smile: Thank You for reading and reviewing, and about your points: I think of all the young characters in this story as AU now although I have no plan of writing them OOC (intentionally) and yes, Harry plans on including Ginny as much as Ron and Hermione. the early birthday greeting was because Remus bought the ward cubes as a present as well as for Harry's security. I will reedit that part as it may well be I expected you all to be telepathic. He read Hermione's letter and I think he asked Ron if he really needed to write a response or just tell him, I didn't mention the canon letter from Hagrid. Remus with a traceable wand, lol yes I saw it too, I had Remus buy a spare wand and loan it to Harry but word count got in the way and I cut/pasted that out. With a spare wand Harry was going to teach Ginny more spells for the train scene. /snicker as to 'of coarse' dyslexia and spellcheck do not make for gooder English, I shall hunt that out and shoot it
Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2015.10.11 - 12:53AM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
I'm glad he has Remus on his side. Wouldn't Remus have been surprised that Harry recognized him as soon as he walked into the pub? I'm sure Remus will be quite useful in helping to free Sirius. I had to laugh at the image of Remus in a cot. A cot in England is a crib or baby bed. It would have made more sense that in a magical establishment, they could simply add another bed. The one big thing that bugged me was the repeated use of cloths. Cloths are flexible fabric. Clothes is the word you were looking for; you used it a bit in the middle, but the beginning and end were all cloths. Overall an enjoyable story.
Author's Response: Thank you for review and stars. I wrote a book in this reply but when I submitted I had been bumped off and poof, all gone, lol. Well: center of universe, when I walk in a pub and they all holler "Norm" I don't wonder how they all know me, in truth you caught me out cold. Had not thought of that point though in truth I have had meetings in Starbucks and we seemed to be able to recognize each other. And yes, in a magical Inn the roll-a-way bed would be conjured and I did consider it, but word count was on the raise and wanted to avoid bringing Tom into the scene to have him conjure a bed. There would of coarse be wards so the Inn would be paid for each bed in a room. As for the 'cot', I didn't want to use, I assumed, an Americanism 'Roll-a-way' and am almost certain of a line from Mrs. Weasley, "We have a cot all made up for you in Ron's room, Harry." but the keyword there is almost. Cloths/clothes, well all I can say is a dyslexic relying on spellcheck leads to interesting errors, I shall fix that, lol, the cloths thing, afraid there isn't anything to do about the dyslexia
Reviewer: I Love Ginerva Signed Date: 2015.09.25 - 04:54AM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
Very nice!! I hope for an update soon...
ILG
Author's Response: Thank You, and the update will be soon, just need to bang my head against the wall couple more times, a responsible Remus would never let a twelve y/o get up to what Harry has planed so their last conversation before school is refusing to write its self
Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2015.09.17 - 10:51PM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
Good chapter.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks CJ, both your continued reading and reviews are appreciated
Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2015.09.13 - 09:13PM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
Enjoying this story. The scene at the pub was quite amusing, and the interaction between Harry and Remus was interesting. I am uncertain about why Harry is contacting other schools of magic. Looking forward to seeing Harry at the Burrow with the Weasley family.
Author's Response: Thank you, I enjoyed the pub as well, and I don't know why he sent off to the other schools really, I believe he plans to have it out with Dumbledore about Snape and just getting his arguments lined up. I believe Snape's redemption, with his passing, was easier for 17 y/o Harry to accept then for 12 y/o Harry, who has 5 years of his
crap to deal with.
Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2015.09.13 - 09:41AM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
Well i think harry is well on his way to change his world...as for how well everything is going to work int he near future ....that is anyone's guess....kutgw
Author's Response: Thanks again for your review, Ski, and yes the near future for anyone is at best a guess, unless you come across a basilisk without a phoenix in your pocket. Harry's biggest problem, long term, is his dehorcruxification
Reviewer: Dreaming Haven Signed Date: 2015.09.12 - 06:56PM Title: Chapter 3 Talking
Really god chapter. I like how Harry seems to be looking forward to everything.
Author's Response: Thank You,, perhaps that is the appeal of the Redo's, Harry is just as informed as the reader?
