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SIYE Time:21:25 on 24th May 2017

Reviews For Without a Trace

Reviewer: smokeylovegood Signed Date: 2016.03.03 - 01:29PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

I quite enjoyed this story.

Have you considered expanding it? I would love to see an extra chapter about the time while they growing their family and REALLY would like a chapter about what happened when they came home.

I don't want Ron/Hermione's/Percy's lives ruined and I like the you did show that Percy's wife took him to task over it, but how did Molly/Aurthur/Bill handle Ron and especially Hermione. Hermione could be tried for slander, I'd like to see her be at least threatened with that.

Again, great story, good writing, that is why I want MORE.

Also, I hope your health is better and there might soon be an update on Realizations.



Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hadn't really thought about adding more. I tried to show some of the reactions, but you are right it would be interesting to see from Molly and Arthur's pov. I hope to post some more on my stories, I've been working on them.



Reviewer: BigFatMaybe Signed Date: 2016.01.20 - 08:13PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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Nice little story. I like the build-up of it, the gradual discovery of what happened. It really reminds me of another story on fanfiction.net, The Unbreakable Vow. The premise there too is that Harry and Ginny ran away, and it has the same buildup as you used. It certainly has a lot of potential!

Since this is a review, I will also add a bit of criticism (hope you don't take it the wrong way! I really do like what you write!):

you use a lot of interruptions in your dialog. If I may quote your story as an example:

Harry nodded. “That first [...]”

Linking her hand with her husband’s, Ginny squeezed his hand in support. “We talked [...]”

Smiling at her father, she said, “I really [...]”

Very often, there is an act, a movement or a description of the character before they speak. There's nothing wrong with that at all, if used well, it can help you paint an image in your head, but when you use this formula often, it becomes noticeable. It distracts from the story a bit.
It's not too big of a problem, though, just something I noticed. Maybe you could try mixing it up a bit more, varying the structure of the dialog?

Other than that, you can be proud of this story. It's fun to read, and I read it twice already! Thanks a lot for your work, and I hope to read more new stuff from you soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am a fan of The Unbreakable Vow as well. I do see what you mean with your comments on my dialogue. I've already started incorporating into some new material I'm writing. I appreciate it. One of the reasons I post my stories is to improve my writing so criticism is always welcome.



Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2016.01.19 - 06:16PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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Nice ending to this story.

Author's Response: Thanks!



Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2016.01.19 - 05:37PM Title: Chapter 4 Discovery

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They are all handling the reunion remarkably well so far. No yelling and no tears yet. I am curious to see if that continues. Hermione and Ron also clearly owe Harry and Ginny an apology for starters.

Author's Response: I think overall, Harry and Ginny wanted to see their family. There will be some yelling in the final chapter :)



Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2016.01.19 - 06:52AM Title: Chapter 3 Lavenham

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Percy is so easy to dislike, and Ron and Hermione are certainly disappointing characters in this story to say the least. I love the house that Harry and Ginny have restored and made into a comfortable home. Molly and Arthur are sure to be thrilled that they are married. I am concerned that they almost certainly do not want to be found. Looking forward to reading about Kingsley correcting his employees.

Author's Response: I will admit, Percy makes a convenient punching bag. Ron and Hermione, they both have a tendency to not want to admit to any mistakes or the possibility that they might be wrong. That is how I framed the story - they made some uncharitiable decisions as school chidren (as school children often do) and weren't willing to revisit them or admit they may have misjudged the situation. At this point, Harry and Ginny aren't sure they want to be found.



Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2016.01.18 - 08:26PM Title: Chapter 2

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Really disappointing Ron in this story. I am glad that Arthur is trying to find Ginny and Harry. Looking forward to reading the next chapter and finding out where you intend to take this story.

Author's Response: Ron has a problem with jealousy and sharing which I will admit to magnifying for this story.



Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2016.01.18 - 07:24PM Title: Chapter 1 The Ball

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Interesting beginning. I see that we are not fond of Hermione and Ron in this story. I am curious to see where you are planning to take this plot line and whether or not we will get answers about Harry and Ginny.

Author's Response: Thanks!



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2016.01.18 - 06:30PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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Smahing end to a marvelous story! I have to admit I actually cheated and read this chapter on the other site under your other penname! Didn't realized that was you as well! Have loved your stuff for years! Thanks for yet another ride on your pen!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response: Thanks so much!



Reviewer: ellen Signed Date: 2016.01.18 - 04:26PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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Satisfying ending to a very nice story. Good that Ron and Hermione were not entirely forgiven, and I always like to see the Potters with lots of children.

Author's Response: Thank you! I thought they'd want more than three.



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2016.01.18 - 01:50PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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Another one on the way??? Three grand children wear me out.

Author's Response: I figured coming from a big family, she'd want a bigger than average family.



Reviewer: zeta_one Signed Date: 2016.01.18 - 11:34AM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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Nice AU story. Never really got into Harry as an Auror. I like to stories where he teaches at Hogwarts.

Thanks for sharing.

Author's Response: Thanks! I can't decide what he should be which probably explains why he has different occupations in my stories.



Reviewer: Birlan Signed Date: 2016.01.18 - 10:23AM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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No Review



Reviewer: hubris Signed Date: 2016.01.17 - 11:54PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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Really glad that there wasn't an immediate reconciliation with Ron and Hermione. Hope to see a dose of reality from Harry if he is prevailed upon to speak. Really an enjoyable tale.

Author's Response: Thanks! I thought it was more realistic that way.



Reviewer: pottermania Signed Date: 2016.01.17 - 07:43PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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I'm glad Hermione wasn't let off lightly.

Author's Response: Thanks! I always thought she got away with a lot and never had to apologize for anything so I admit I wanted her to face the consequences of her actions.



Reviewer: pottermania Signed Date: 2016.01.17 - 07:11PM Title: Chapter 4 Discovery

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Harry has such a big kind heart that I can see him forgiving Hermione, but she doesn't deserve it in my opinion. I don't see Ginny being so forgiving...

Author's Response: Thanks! That was my take on it as well. Harry doesn't like discord, but Ginny wouldn't forgive as easily.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2016.01.17 - 07:10PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

Ah nice to see that something will change but not all things and im glad to see they are giving hermione and ron a feee pass and they shouldn't get it....as for harry and ginny moving forward they look happy and healthy and with one on the way in for more fun....kutgw

Author's Response: I wanted Harry and Ginny to keep their nice quiet life. Unfortunately as the two couples are family, there has to be some level of cooperation. Thanks for the review!



Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2016.01.17 - 07:03PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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Well done! A nice read.

2001 magical cleanup.....leftovers from Scamander years later, or a magical conspiracy to bring down the towers?

Ginny's lingering animosities toward Hermione are understandable, based on Hermione being stubborn and ignorantly short sighted.



Author's Response: Thanks! I figured in a city like New York there had to many magical artefacts. I didn't think it would make sense to immediately forgive her.



Reviewer: Kukia Signed Date: 2016.01.17 - 05:57PM Title: Chapter 5 The Victory Ball

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wonderful story. Loved the ending.

Author's Response: Thank you.



Reviewer: ellen Signed Date: 2016.01.14 - 02:25PM Title: Chapter 4 Discovery

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Nice work Kingsley, in getting rid of those three. It's amazing what you can find if you really want to look. A few home truths for Hermione. Not sure that she will ever really admit to being so wrong, but who knows. Its certainly good to read a story where she's not at the forefront of finding Harry. Initial reunions seem to have gone ok; here's hoping the Potters can keep their good life and just let in who they choose.

Author's Response: Thanks! I've always liked Kingsley, I imagine he'd work to clean up the Ministry. Hermione does have problems admitting she's wrong and she is very wrong in this story.



Reviewer: ellen Signed Date: 2016.01.14 - 02:06PM Title: Chapter 3 Lavenham

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Oh, I want to visit the Priory gardens! Lovely description of an idyllic home for the Potter family. Nice to see that they have new friends and aren't living an isolated life, but also good that they haven't completely given up on magic as the search closes in.

Author's Response: I know, I'd love to visit as well! I wanted them to have a beautiful home to retreat from the wizarding world.




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