Search:

SIYE Time:11:13 on 19th September 2017

Reviews For Biscuits Deferred

Reviewer: TomBombadil Signed Date: 2017.02.07 - 05:31PM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

Great start! Out of loneliness, a chance with a real friend! Your characters are, well, in character. But normally loquacious Ginny doesn't remain tongue-tied for an eternity. Yes, they have already met on Platform 9-3/4, but this time the meeting comes with expectations of friendship! How long will it take Harry to figure out that it is Ginny, not Ron, that the trunk intended him to meet. Finally, how apropos that his Mum knew the spell to charm parchment to bring Harry and Ginny joy and happiness, when a similarly charmed diary did the opposite for Ginny in CoS!

Author's Response:

How long will it take for Harry to realize? Excellent question, and one that you already know the answer to. I will nonetheless state that, in keeping with the romance genre, the realization can't be instantaneous; it cannot even be as quick as we would like, but within the delay lie the seeds of a reward that means much more if hard-won than if tipped from a silver spoon.

Yes, I'm glad that liked how parchment could be a counterpoint to canon.

Anyway, thank you most kindly for the review; great to have your thoughts on the story!



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2016.05.30 - 06:33PM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

Love the beginning. Interesting the way you've gotten about Dobby! Can't wait to read more.

Author's Response:

First of all, let me begin by thanking you for reading and reviewing, Sharon, and also I must congratulate you on fairly recently joining Mark in the very exclusive Million-Words Club (see: http://www.siye.co.uk/search.php?action= tens&list=wordcauthor in case you weren't aware of the list)

Dobby! It may be strange to say this about a character whom I don't even name by name, but he truly made the whole story. Without the wretched little wrinkle he posed, my plot would either have been completely different... or non-existent.

Believe it or not, sometimes fiction is stranger than fact ;)



Reviewer: pottermania Signed Date: 2016.05.18 - 06:12PM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstar

Now, was that a coincidence that Ginny couldn't sleep and was just passing the living room to go for a fly at the precise moment that Harry arrived by Floo? Hhhmm...I don't think I believe in coincidences like this lol!

Author's Response:

Well, there are some things in life (and in stories about magic) that may never be fully explained. One could read a bit into Lily's and James's eagerness to get Harry out the Floo... or one may just ascribe to Fate (as Harry considers in Chapter 3).

Either way, thank you for reading and reviewing, Joy!



Reviewer: lunagranger Signed Date: 2016.04.30 - 03:50PM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

Oh, you can write fluff too. It's quite cute.

Author's Response:

Hey Silvia -- so wonderful to hear from you!

Yes, that first chapter may have been the fluffiest non-epilogue that I've written... but (as in canon) the challenges do escalate for our protagonists. In this story, that is true with each passing chapter and so you see emergence of a bit of angst before it is resolved.

Hope you enjoy the rest, and thank you for lending me your thoughts!



Reviewer: Aniket Chowdhury Signed Date: 2016.04.30 - 05:05AM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

I love the way you write. The details, emotions and descriptions. And Hedwig!! She was brilliant with all her thoughts. I loved the storyline too. I had a beautiful start. What about Harry's wand. Oh! I wanr to read more. Hope you wirte more. How big would be this universe? I mean how many years do you plan ahead?

Author's Response:

Wow -- sincere thanks, Aniket! I suppose that yes, after a lot of hacking around and experimenting, I'm beginning to get a feel for how to string words together :)

Harry's wand will warrant a quick mention in the next chapter but it likely harms nobody to know that there's a pseudocanonical explanation for how that gets resolved.

Happily, I am winding down the final edits to chapter 2 and hope to post either today or tomorrow. There will be two chapters beyond that -- not a long story by that measure, but it's rather my fairly standard 'challenge' story structure.

As far as the time scope, I am definitely looking at running things through to May 1998. Beyond that, I may compose some short epilogue vignettes, but that depends on whether I have some words left within the 20K limit. As I indicated to MollyandArthur, though, I will be open to considering some 'lost moment' pieces if cool requests are made. There are a lot of 'lost moments' in 5.5 years...

I'm most grateful to hear from you; hope you enjoy the rest of the piece!



Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2016.04.27 - 06:56PM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

What a wonderful beginning! Your descriptions of Harry in his room at the Dursleys' house is so detailed, his thoughts about being locked up, his interactions with Hedwig, the lack of food, and his joyful surprise of receiving a gift from his parents. The trunk is amazing and offers so much potential for his growth and training as a wizard. Ginny's reaction to his sudden appearance in her home is innocent and kind. I hope this is the first chapter of a nice long story!

Author's Response:

This is one of those fascinating reviews that makes me think about how I think about things. I believe my brain is still in a 'Splinters' mindset, which is to say writing character drama, where the characterisation medium is very internal, i.e., the character is defined by sensory input and how he/she responds to that input. So while this story is definitely another such 'Splintery' character piece, I was surprised to see a compliment about the level of descriptive detail. In truth, I was deliberately trying to avoid over-immersion simply because of the 20K word limit on challenge stories. I realise now, though, that I'm still doing it -- perhaps just a bit more efficiently.

I have to say that writing to a word limit is a fine challenge, and often produces text that is more refined and effective than unlimited scrawling. That said,though, it works directly against your kind-hearted last admonition (for a long story) in that, per challenge specs, this story is hard-wired to end at less than 20K words. Unlike Fuddle Fog, which was intended as a trilogy, this one story as conceived to cover a very select set of scenes spanning the nearly the whole Potterverse (events in 1992, 1993, 1995 and 1998). So, I can't exactly promise you 'long' but... for a select number of special reviewers, I would be willing to entertain 'lost moment' requests. In other words, if some of you mentors and fosterers would like to see how this AU Harry and Ginny respond to specific situations out of pseudo-canon, then I would certain consider it.

Anyway, thank you very much for the thought-provoking comments, MollyandArthur!



Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2016.04.26 - 10:35AM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarhalf-star


Very nice start.

Author's Response:

Wonderful -- glad you think so!

Always great to hear from you -- thanks for the review, Carolyn!



Reviewer: epicvux Signed Date: 2016.04.26 - 09:26AM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

I love it and I hope you post more soon because this is fun to read!

Author's Response:

Well, I'm very pleased to say that I'll be able to reward your (much appreciated) enthusiasm with a fairly prompt turnaround on the next chapter. I'd like to finish drafting chapter 3 before I comb and winnow 2 down to something presentable, but late this weekend is a reasonable target.

Thank you for the review, Taylor!



Reviewer: ellen Signed Date: 2016.04.26 - 06:23AM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

Nice start, and good to see Hedwig getting a bit of air time too.


Author's Response:

Ah yes -- in a universe where there are so many great secondary characters (Luna, Sirius, F&G, etc.), I think that Hedwig is the most sadly underutilised persona around. A non-speaking character is surprisingly fun to write, especially given the overtures JKR provided by suggesting that Harry and Hedwig had a very special relationship.

Anyway, thank you much for your thoughts and readership, Ellen!



Reviewer: dronvire Signed Date: 2016.04.26 - 12:33AM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

Marvelous!

Author's Response:

Great to hear from you Joe, and equally happy to see that you enjoyed the initial foray!

This will likely end up being one of my most heavily edited stories, which often makes for a smoother ride. That said, however, still a fair bit of polishing to go on chapter 2...



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2016.04.25 - 03:26PM Title: Night Flights

Something tells me that harry potter has found the other person to share the table with....kutgw

Author's Response:

You are, of course, right on the money with that, Fred! Of course, it may take a while for Harry to follow the course that seems so natural to you and to me... but he assuredly will.

Thank you very much for the review and your loyal readership!



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2016.04.25 - 03:14PM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

This gets my vote! Absolutely magnificent offering! I just hope Hedwig gets some treats! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response:

Distinctly honoured by your generous words! Thank you!

This is a simple recipe (no elaborate whodunit, and only minor plot twists) but I find it strangely difficult to follow such a straight line. That said, though, the rewards (both intrinsic and extrinsic) are fully justifying the effort. Wonderful to have feedback!



Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2016.04.25 - 03:00PM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

Nice little start there. Nothing worse then when your house has a reek to it. Sometimes a burned up sausage can be the cause. I would certainly like a closer look at those books on the shelf. Draught of living death would rid Harry of Snape, can't say Lily would much approve though. Not bad, not bad...new bean?

I would be suspicious of talking text, could be a trap by Tom, although there were no usual signs of a possessed piece of paper. I mean, words writing themselves is perfectly normal in the wizarding world, of course.


Author's Response:

Ah, well I must admit that you raise issues that are intriguing and point to the trunk's immense potential impact. As you'll see throughout the remaining chapters, I tend to steer toward scenarios that are roughly 85% canonical (i.e., similar constructs with minor deviations). I did have to admit that if Harry truly put his mind to it, he could leverage the trunk toward vastly different outcomes though.

Ultimately, given the 20K word limit, I finally opted to stick to semi-familiar ground so that I could lean a little on readers' familiarity with the plot.

And indeed, the timing relative to another element of magical penmanship is indeed something to be considered. Next chapter will look at that a bit.

Anyway, sincere thanks for your thoughts!



Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2016.04.25 - 08:17AM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

Lovely, and it certainly made me smile :)

Author's Response:

Wonderful to hear that -- thank you so much, Hannah! As I was saying to Dad and to Martin, the smile is a key recurring motif in this retelling, so I hope I can bring back that wonderfully human expression a few times before the final bell chimes.

Hope to post the second smile in a week or so.



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2016.04.25 - 07:12AM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarstar

It is a very beauteous beginning, it starts a little sad, but ends with a touch of happiness. The parchment is a great idea so that Harry can communicate with his parents. I was curious to see how Harry would end up with Ginny, but the "Take me to see a friend" was genius. Harry often needs a wee push in the right direction.

Author's Response:

Thank you Martin!

And so it is that all three of my earliest reviews perceive something truly salient about where this story is going. Dad and Hannah both spoke about the smile(s) I intend to cultivate, and you have hit upon the other vertex of this sawtooth trajectory -- the sad start.

It is all too common in Rowling's writing that situations subside into sadness, and this AU retelling does not shy away from it. There will be downers and dissatisfaction... but as long as I must write, then there too must be smiles.

Oh, and as far as "Take me to see a friend" is concerned, I firmly believe that although there are times when magic is frustrating, and magic can be deathly dangerous, but surely magic can also be so wonderfully 'magical'.

Glad to have you aboard -- hope you enjoy the rest!



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2016.04.25 - 06:08AM Title: Night Flights

starstarstarstarhalf-star

Smile at the end.

Author's Response:

Thanks Dad! If I do my job correctly, that should a perfect phrase to sum up each chapter, and the story as a whole. Now to just get the rest of it presentable.

Thanks for the review!




../back
! Go To Top !

Sink Into Your Eyes is hosted by Computer Partners. HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related characters are trademarks of Warner Bros. TM & 2001-2006. Harry Potter Publishing Rights J.K.R. Note the opinions on this site are those made by the owners. All stories(fanfiction) are owned by the author and are subject to copyright law under transformative use. Authors on this site take no compensation for their works. This site 2003-2006 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Special thanks to: Aredhel, Kaz, Michelle, and Jeco for all the hard work on SIYE 1.0 and to Marta for the wonderful artwork.
Featured Artwork 2003-2006 by Yethro.
Design and code 2006 by SteveD3(AdminQ)
Additional coding 2008 by melkior and Bear