SIYE Time:7:33 on 20th June 2018

Reviews For Biscuits Deferred

Reviewer: TomBombadil Signed Date: 2017.02.07 - 06:45PM Title: Helping Hands


Hmmm? Seems like a fitting, well-earned conclusion. But aren't there four chapters?

Author's Response:

Ah! Very intentional, in fact. Each of the four chapters is its own mini-story, with a dilemma, leading to crisis, climax and resolution. The magnitude of each builds from chapter to chapter, but I guarantee that breath of satisfaction before each is closed.

A fine observation; a great opportunity for me to grin and spin. Thank you!

Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2016.05.30 - 07:06PM Title: Helping Hands


Amazing! I love the idea of using the Potions' lab to destroy the diary.

Author's Response:

Enthralled by your kind words -- thank you!

I'm most gratified by the response I got for the somewhat prosaic choice of using hard work as a means to bring Harry and Ginny together toward a common goal and more. I admit that I considered it to be a bit of a risk to follow an uplifting first chapter with the prolonged downer, but gladly the potioneering and happier resolution to the diary crisis gave people an opportunity to forgive me. Writing angst is an interesting challenge -- how to find the discipline to constrain characters to the doldrums just long enough to make exultation all the sweeter.

Ah well, challenge is good!

Reviewer: pottermania Signed Date: 2016.05.21 - 12:02PM Title: Helping Hands

Great team work, with a supporting cast in the trunk 😄

Author's Response:

Looks like the site decided to double you up here, but no matter -- I can always find something to say, right?

So In guess I would like to have thought, canonically, that Ginny could have been a true force to be reckoned with in Harry's presence. OotP really demonstrated how well she complemented Harry in terms of temperment, and DH was (albeit way behind the scenes) a great reinforcement for the notion of her bravery and resourcefulness, but almost never (barring the Department of Mysteries) did she ever get to combine bravery, resourcefulness and complementary temperment into a true collaboration with Harry. So this chapter is really about showing Harry the depths of Ginny's cooperative value. And, of course, the trunk (and scroll-Lily & scroll-James) are also instrumental in achieving this.

Reviewer: pottermania Signed Date: 2016.05.20 - 06:13PM Title: Helping Hands


Great team work, with a supporting cast in the trunk 😄

Author's Response:

Thank you, Joy! This was the chapter that most explicitly shows the trunk's value to a practical end, although I'd like to believe that indirect evidence of the usefulness pervades through the rest of the story.

Reviewer: dannbard Signed Date: 2016.05.05 - 07:51AM Title: Helping Hands


Great story! Very touching, nice flow, and very lucid!

Not sure that I have the faintest idea what you two are talking about in the last comment though ;)

Author's Response:

Great to hear that you're enjoying the story, Dann -- thank you very much for the kind words!

The discussion below may require a perpendicular excursion on the astral plane. Allusions blending with illusions. Stuff like that.

Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2016.05.04 - 02:48PM Title: Helping Hands

An excellent practical example which could be an answer to a question I had asked in a non group think review.(the Orwellian reference embedded there is slightly creepy)

Yes the first half of the story was aiming my consciousness to a flashback, strangely. I first thought Percy was Up to his elbow in but ter. Might have just just been my personal opinion.

Hippocrates for potions? Sure why not. Already you had a trunk in a trunk.

Under the weather is a cliché isn't it? Unfortunate really. So is understanding from my perspective. If you examined the culture as I recommended you may see where I decided to go against the grain on that. That hunter though...your writing appears metaphorically speaking to that terrain which he warns against crossing. Except no death from reading your writing as proofed by my reviewing after reading.

Also if you know a method for the dialog necessary for the Trix collaboration that could allow for a non delayed flow please let me know. I spotted the strangeness in the replacement you suggested. Par for the curse really, wouldn't you agree? BisKitz

Author's Response:

Ah yes -- once again I find much here to cogitate upon. Let me begin with the easiest: as far as a way to collaborate in a manner that reduces delays, the easy answer is a google doc. I'll set that up after I finish with Biscuits. Note that the segment in question is a bit down the road plot-wise, so we can work on it leisurely.

With respect to being under (or over) the weather, keep in mind that I replied to your last review very shortly after I finished drafting chapter 4 of this story. You will see my frame of mind when you see the chapter...

Ah yes -- Hippocrates, Democritus, Eratosthenes and various others were all wizards of course. Sappho was a witch. Plato, Socrates and Herodotus were Muggles who all drank a lot of spiced wine. I'm making this up, you say?

I believe that Percy's misadventure with the butter is open to interpretation; there are conventional spatial limitations that one factor in, but in a world full of magic, fewer things are impossible.

Finally, in no particular order, I will exhort the differences between group think and crowd sourcing, while suggesting to you that the terrain is ephemeral, ever shifting where the clouds and sands are interchangeable; where the hunter's quarry is the dying light of an early winter evening; where there is frost on his gloves as he gestures inarticulately toward the hill (a bluff, in a true double entendre); where your only peril is not reaching the horizon in time to see.

And par for the curse, indeed -- at least until the double bogey.

Thank you again for a lively exchange, RT3Z!

Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2016.05.03 - 06:26PM Title: Helping Hands


I will review more later. I've been under the weather but I wanted to address the VEry beginning.

Deep with a b. The other way they were wolfed. This amused me greatly. I will be back with a more robust review soon.

Author's Response:

First things first -- I very much hope you soon find your way back over the weather. But thank you very much for leaving a review, regardless of your current vantage point.

The owls, right? They were challenge-dictated, but I could not help but give them a bit of character and attitude -- part of the fun for me, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

If you have a chance to leave more thoughts, they're always welcome.

On an unrelated note, I finished drafting chapter 4 yesterday and was very pleased with how it all turned out. I believe that, despite the clues I've left, I shall surprise some people :)

Reviewer: Birlan Signed Date: 2016.05.02 - 02:44PM Title: Helping Hands


Very good retelling. Thanks.

Author's Response:

Wonderful to know that you're enjoying it. Thank you very much for the feedback, Bill!

Reviewer: LysCsuri Signed Date: 2016.05.02 - 11:41AM Title: Helping Hands


Oh how beautiful -- to take a hardened world like this and make fate seem kind! The low points are sad, but the smile of resolution make them all the more worth it!

Author's Response:

Well thank you, Lys! Yes, it's true that I'll be steering clear of many of the hardest edges in the Rowling tale in this story, and going instead for the whispered words of healing. Can't claim the same for Trix, but one must balance things out :)

Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2016.05.02 - 07:58AM Title: Helping Hands


I know exactly why Ron will never be my best mate. There are times when I'm not sure who's worse for Ginny, Tom Riddle or Ron Weasley with his thoughtlessness. On the other hand, it was refreshing to have a Molly with so much foresight when she sends Ginny to Hogwarts. The Molly's that I've read recently was exactly the opposite.

I really liked the way you've reunited the two of them to let them destroy the diary TOGETHER.

With Chapter 2, the first half of the allowed word count (exactly 1,000) is already consumed and I have the feeling that we still are at the very beginning of the story. So I suspect that we will have a major time skip in the next chapter.
In the first chapter the first chair in the trunk was occupied, after the second chapter both chairs are occupied obviously ... and now I'm curious which scenes you've selected for the other chapters. OK, the last one might be obvious.

Author's Response:

Ah yes, poor Ron. I likely owe it to the world to write a story that lets him grow into being a measured, supportive friend but perhaps not this one. He will warrant only one more mention (a positive one, actually) but this is not a tale to showcase him...

Glad you liked Molly -- I needed one person to display a bit of common sense and intuition, and didn't figure it would be Arthur (well intended, but not quite perceptive enough for this). It was actually a fun, if tricky, sequence to write.

As per your second paragraph, it may be little surprise to learn that togetherness is the strongest single theme to this story -- next chapter contemplates it in great solemnity, and chapter 4 cements it.

Yes indeed -- there are two huge leaps across the timeline coming. I suspect that I may slightly surprise you with even the 'obvious' scene though. But if you have it nailed precisely, then do drop me a note!

My gratitude as always for your thoughts, Martin!

Reviewer: lunagranger Signed Date: 2016.05.01 - 08:20PM Title: Helping Hands


Oh, Harry, you must be more sensitive. I hope he will have learned his lesson. Well done!

Author's Response:

Yes, it always gave me pause how Harry and every school-aged Weasley brother all failed to put the pieces together and realise that Ginny's issues were far more deep-seated than anything Pepperup Potion could cure. Rowling made Ginny's Valentine seem the act of a silly twit, compounded by Lockhart-inspired poor planning (i.e., hiring surly dwarves), but I would much prefer to think it could have been a well-timed call for help.

As for whether Harry will be more sensitive from here on... the answer (as you will see in the next chapter) is 'sort of'... as even attentive friends are somewhat flummoxed by the old teen-angst question of whether good friends might actually be more than 'good friends'...

Thank you very much for the review, LunaGranger!

Reviewer: Aniket Chowdhury Signed Date: 2016.05.01 - 01:19PM Title: Helping Hands


Great Story. I love this plot. Its too awesome. Good, you have decided to go till May 1998. Or, I would have used your plor to complete the Universe. Your writing was just awesome. Hope you will post soon. Though it looked you rushed with things. I was Okay with you skipping to the Valentine, but the things were a little less compiled later on. Overall I loved it.

Author's Response:

Wonderful that you're continuing to enjoy the tale, Aniket!

Glad to have pleased you with my time frame but I won't hesitate to say that you (or anyone else) is perfectly welcome to extend, variagate or otherwise experiment with any of the plots or scenarios I've dabbled with. If that happens, all I'd ask is you let me know about it.

This coming week will be tasked with generating a first draft for chapter 4, and editing chapter 3... the result of which should be a new chapter posted next weekend and again the weekend after.

By less 'compiled', I assume you mean less optimised (as opposed to less fleshed out)? If so, I'd be grateful if you could let me know some examples of roughness. I will be honest in saying that the second halves of many chapters are frequently less polished than first halves -- this is an unfortunate product of the way my brain works :)

Thank you for your comments!

Reviewer: BigFatMaybe Signed Date: 2016.05.01 - 12:41PM Title: Helping Hands


What a sweet tale this is turning out to be! The self-writing scroll is a nice touch, and I really liked that frantic potion-brewing. Potions is underused in Harry Potter fanfiction!

We've both gone for a completely different approach, but in the end I think we arrived at the same point: Harry and Ginny are close and only a blind fool would miss their blooming relationship.

If I might write one bit of criticism: your scenes are very drawn out. Sometimes that's good, it gives you the time to paint a very clear image (something that I find myself being too lazy to do that properly). But at times I'm more inclined to simply skip a few paragraphs to get right into the action. Perhaps that is something to look at.

Anyway, you're good at creating emotion and painting a picture in my head, and I commend you for that. Now we await the verdict!

Author's Response:

Thank you very much for taking a peek and for your review, BigFatMaybe!

Your primary comment here is perfectly reasonable of course. Although what you're seeing is by rather deliberate design. You'll notice that unlike Trix and the Fuddle Fog series where I very specifically classified stories as Action/Adventure, I intentionally avoided that label for this one. Consequently, in this chapter (and even moreso in chapters 3,4) you'll see that not only do I tend to dwell on the prelude to action, I actually outright *skip* the action. My motivation for this choice comes with a very particular interpretation of how this trunk truly changes life for Harry -- the sum answer is already glimmering in the distance and should be fairly clear by the end.

In any case, putting your story and mine in close conjunction might be interesting comparison because, as we both agree, we take distinctly different paths to get to the denouement.

Grateful for the thought provoking comments!

Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2016.05.01 - 09:37AM Title: Helping Hands


Absolutely wonderful!
I love that Lily and James helped them to destroy the diary.
But possibly my favorite part was Percy putting his elbow in the butter dish :)

Author's Response:

Thank you thank you! Glad you enjoyed!

This chapter is likely the high point in terms of 'scroll' interactions with James and Lily although for the remaining vignettes I chose instances where, in canon, Harry encounters magical manifestations of his parents, so the Potters really do fulfill key background roles in the story.

Ha! It's so gratifying that you like Percy's little accident there -- I had some fierce editing squabbles with that segment, for the simple reason that I was trying to be funny and unfunny at the same time. Kids, don't try that at home ;)

Thanks again for the review, Hannah!

Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2016.05.01 - 09:19AM Title: Helping Hands

Ah now the fun will begin for the two but with tom gone they can work on things togther......kutgw

Author's Response:

"work on things together" -- how amazingly prescient, Fred! You'll see what I mean once I finish editing the third chapter.

One small teaser for you, though, is that sometimes it takes time and maturation for 'work' and 'fun' to end up in close alignment.

Many thanks for the review!

Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2016.05.01 - 07:44AM Title: Helping Hands


Excellent chapter. I love the idea of Lily helping Harry and Ginny create a potion to destroy the diary while they were safely hidden within the magical trunk. And, now Harry and Ginny have formed a strong bond of friendship at a young age because of this experience. I realize that this story was written for a challenge and is supposed to be somewhat short, but you have definitely written a story that could have a sequel.

Author's Response:

Thanks; many and profusely!

By the sounds of your review, I think you may already be glimpsing the architecture of the story -- each chapter places somewhat greater challenges on Harry and Ginny, and ends at a higher elevation of achievement and relationship. So at the end of the first chapter, they glimpsed friendship, and now they have come to treasure it. whither shall this lead next? Tune in next weekend :)

And yes, of course sequels and elaborations are always possible. In all honesty, the seeds for many new stories are planted when authours reply to reader comments. Especially true for me.

Reviewer: Trucker Signed Date: 2016.04.30 - 11:40PM Title: Helping Hands


No Review

Author's Response: Great to have you reading this one, Ronald! Thank you for the kind, starry vote!

Reviewer: dronvire Signed Date: 2016.04.30 - 10:43PM Title: Helping Hands


Going nicely!

Author's Response: Oh good! Thank you very much again for the positive feedback!

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