Reviews For Biscuits Deferred
Reviewer: Aragorn Signed Date: 2016.06.07 - 12:37AM Title: Second Kiss
Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2016.05.30 - 07:16PM Title: Second Kiss
Very sweet ending! I love how your worked the trunk into the third task - very creative. I love a proactive and protective Madam Pomfrey!
Rwy'n canu fy mawl i chi, Sharon!
Roughly translated: thank you!
So, in truth it's rather rare for me to attempt Rowling-like bitter-sweetness, but this chapter strays a bit in that direction. Somehow she managed to close off four consecutive books (GoF, OotP, HBP and DH) with stinging bitterness tinged with ephemeral silver linings and *not* drive her millions of fans to despair or rebellion. Ultimately, I pulled some punches that JKR landed squarely (especially wrt Cedric), but for me to have Harry and Ginny pledging themselves to each other in the shadow of Voldemort's resurrection is a bit outside my comfort zone... but I have to admit that the feedback proved immensely heartening. Thank you again!
Reviewer: pottermania Signed Date: 2016.05.21 - 12:44PM Title: Second Kiss
Loved it from beginning to end, it had a bit of everything.
Yes, I suspect that you're like some of my other readers in seeing chapter 3 as where the plot really takes off. The first two chapters were necessary foundation, but chapters 3 & 4 were truly where the writing became truly satisfying.
Anyway, wonderful that you enjoyed it!
Reviewer: LeprechaunJV Signed Date: 2016.05.11 - 10:17AM Title: Second Kiss
Reviewer: dannbard Signed Date: 2016.05.10 - 07:55AM Title: Second Kiss
Really enjoying this story! Fascinating way to characterize Ginny -- competent, strong and assertive but with those buried insecurities that you'd have to expect of someone who went through what she did. It's very heart-warming!
Thank you Dann!
I'm glad you like this Ginny. She is not quite as sweet as some, nor as spunky as the brashest, but I have grown to believe in her!
As far as the other mad musings herein, let me posit that are few greater impulsions than partial perceptions!
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2016.05.10 - 07:01AM Title: Second Kiss
This story is definitely taking shape - I think it could be a best-seller! :)
Verily mademoiselle! And after that, we shall conquer the world! Or at least a vibrant little corner of Silk Road...
I am actually now verging on serious. I must deliver a couple more chapters of Trix, but a sheepish draft may well be a summery enterprise. Thank you for the inspiration... and the seriousilliness!
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2016.05.09 - 03:51PM Title: Second Kiss
Hmm, I'll have to think about that one, but let's not forget the lamb that thinks it's a dog (that thinks it's a sheep)! And only mildly eccentric, you wound me - I'd have thought completely and utterly barmy at the very least :)
Ah perfect -- twists upon twists! The ducks, if I do recall correctly, are feckless shysters (a la Mundungus Fletcher).
And dear me, yes, brilliantly barmy! Just like this conversation :)
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2016.05.09 - 01:25PM Title: Second Kiss
Well there's a perfectly rational explanation for that of course - the shrieks were from the people being ripped apart by the mysterious Kneazle/panther and all that remains in the still-lit wands which look like glow sticks to mere mortals :)
Amazing how quickly a plot can feather its wings once two (mildly eccentric) writers begin bandying it about!
We may need to think about puns that blend pigs and Death Eaters...
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2016.05.09 - 12:14PM Title: Second Kiss
I decided not to risk a pm in case it gets lost, but that picture made me smile, I have been known to "count the sets of eyes" by torchlight when checking the flock and I can tell you that as soon as you spot one they all decide to come and investigate so you're surrounded by disembodied eyes. Although it probably doesn't help that we're right next to a wood which is rumoured to have a black panther stalking it...ooh, and we found as abandoned tent in there the other day...oh dear, now you've made me put two and two together and come up with five...:)
Ah! If you'd sent me a pm, then I might have been left with a disembodied note about disembodied eyes. Now wouldn't that have been poetic!
Okay, let's turn the mill on this (with suitable obfuscation and exaggeration) -- mysterious black Kneazel sitings on the Yorkshire fells, strange nocturnal flashes in the old wood, an abandoned tent, an intricately carved stick dropped in careless haste, and one intrepid young sheep without the opposable digit required to wield it...
In slightly less fictional musings, it's amazing what mysteries the fringe woodlands sometimes obscure. A few weeks ago some kids at my son's primary school started reporting strange noises coming from a nearby nature preserve; speculation was reaching a fevered pitch (strange birds? strange animals? even stranger humans?) when my son volunteered me to lead a little expedition into the brush to investigate (and people wonder why it takes me so long to post updates...). So, lo and behold, I end up bashing through the brush with my son and two of his most audacious friends (girls of course -- male bravery at that age rarely extends past video games) for an hour one afternoon and what great mystery do we stumble upon?
Glow sticks... An unexplained stash of dozens of glow sticks.
Now what do dozens of glow sticks have to do with mysterious shrieking noises in the woods? Beats me, but the kids went away satisfied that we had gotten to the bottom of the mystery and, happily enough, the noises stopped.
Oh, and I eventually got back to my writing :)
Reviewer: gracepark Signed Date: 2016.05.09 - 12:13PM Title: Second Kiss
Wow! Your Yule Ball flashback was one of the most passionate scenes I've read in, like, whenever.. With a first kiss like that, who wouldn't be waiting for round two??
Well, thank you sincerely for brightening up a cloudy day!
The passage in the passageway is not long, word-wise, but I'm most heartened to hear that it reads well! Sometimes power comes from brevity (note to self on that ;)...
Final installment is being kicked around and torn apart as I find time -- shall be posted this weekend! Technically I've been known to toss the occasional advance copy around to those who tolerate typos and glitchies -- you can leave me a note if you feel strongly.
Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2016.05.08 - 05:52PM Title: Second Kiss
If it were any other author, the formatting flow I would attribute to the oddity of this website. However, Archivist (what a sic TiTle) I hold the opinion it was a purposeful for mating exercise.
Formatting flow? I will admit that I take whatever liberties I can with the somewhat limited HTML options in the site, although the risk is that not all cute tweaks render properly for every viewer / browser / device. Whatever you have keyed upon -- if you see it working cooperatively with the actual words, then great. If it's distracting, please give me specifics if you have time. Thanks!
The Ball I saw as a key fulcrum from which to launch the current trajectory, not just in terms of romance, but also an element of cooperating, and a catalyst for the future. As far as Gaia and Baal (fine pre-classical plays on words) I can indeed see the analogies in terms of a fundamental formative blending (plausibly, if a bit incongruously) with baser bacchanalian hedonism.
As far as the Toms seen thus far, I have been sticking as closely as possible to canonical parameters. That will change a bit in the next chapter, though. The Tom you will see is someone who has had to cope with a Harry who, in his time on the lam, acted with more confidence and efficiency than did the Harry of DH, I'll be interested in your take on that when the chapter posts.
Finally, I must admit that in this story, I have punted on the ultimately fate of Crouch Jr. / fake Moody. If wants to know his final disposition, then I will elaborate on that separately from this story. This way, I can leave all kisses as the expressions of sweet affection between our favourite protagonists.
Anyway, that's most of the salient points -- thank you very much for a top-notch mental workout, RighT3rantZ!
Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2016.05.08 - 03:52PM Title: Second Kiss
This story is so wonderful. I loved this chapter, especially the ending. The memory of the Yule Ball was also so sweet and funny. Your Ginny is a great friend, loyal and protective, as well as confident enough to simply inform Harry that they would go to the dance together. The triwizard tournament has always been one of the craziest events in the Harry Potter stories, and the ability of the young Crouch to trick everyone for months on end with Polyjuice potion odd to say the least. With the close bond between Harry and Ginny in this story, I am not surprised that they were at least able to recognize a problem at the end. It is nice that you let Cedric live, and it avoids the distraction of them all having to deal with a deceased teenager. I am eager to see where you are going next in this story.
Wow -- so much to say in response here, because you're definitely hitting some real fundamentals!
Firstly, thank you for the wonderful review, MollyandArthur! As I think I alluded to in one of my earlier reviews, I have been aiming with each chapter to produce a 'resolution' at the end, which is to say the immediate challenges are brought to some positive accommodation. This is possible when one cuts the bigger story into small, focused elements. That sort of focusing might not appeal to every reader, but I'm immensely glad it works for you!
Yes, exactly -- the Yule reminiscence is intended as 'dramatic' humour. The whole subject matter is moderately serious, but the careening confluence of circumstances is indeed intended to produce the sort of 'laugh' that we sometimes get when we see how everything fits together. I had great fun not only writing that, but even editing it.
I like your comment about the Triwizard Tournament. I was just reading a little commentary about a week ago about how bizarre it was that Crouch Jr. should have been able to pick up such prodigious magic, despite being thrown into Azkaban at a young age, and then (post escape) being raised in a position of major privation. So yes, the canonical Triwizard plot was indeed way out there, and so I agree that it was no shame for Harry and Ginny to have failed to nail it down precisely.
Finally, I would like to follow up briefly with your comments on Ginny. An authour seeking to characterise Ginny can draw on a number of different canonical Ginnys, including CoS (a bit mousey), HBP (fiery amour, but perhaps not fully on board with Harry's mission, as witnessed by the 'stupid and noble' bit) and then OotP (dynamo!). Needless to say, my Ginny is premised on hat would have happened if Harry could interact with (and support and mentor) someone with those traits from early on. OotP Ginny likes Harry and likes to help Harry, but her greatest passion is helping Harry achieve what he truly needs to achieve. If that means that she too may need to be 'stupid and noble' right there with Harry, she will -- something that occurred canonically at the Department of Mysteries, and will happen in the next chapter of this story. Personally, I think that if HBP Ginny was truly offered that chance, she too would have embraced it.
And finally, yes, we see perfectly eye to eye on Cedric. Thank you for your support on that :)
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2016.05.08 - 06:44AM Title: Second Kiss
Wow, this was bloody brilliant... in many ways. First of all I liked that most of the chapter was from Ginny's POV, then you build the tension up so nicely, that at first I thought that Ginny might know a bit more about what will happen. And then I had to smile when the tension dissolved a bit when it is revealed that Ginny is still waiting for the second kiss. The first one happened, and I guessed it correctly !!, at the Yule Ball, although in a completely different way as I supposed.
Yes, it's almost as if I wrote this for you personally, ist es nicht? ;)
The truth is, I think we look for the same sort of things in stories. And if you looked for togetherness in this chapter, you may look forward to even more in the next. This includes togetherness that, imho, is of a certain unique poignancy.
Golden Friendship Anniversary -- I like that! :) Yes, this AU Harry is more focused and confident than he was at a comparable plot point in canon, but he is similarly clueless about romance. Ginny, too, has other things on her mind obviously, but in my experience almost any girl has more natural instincts in such pursuits than almost any boy...
Yes, Cedric lives, and I will spare one other person before the story is over. To some extent, I am trying to justify a G rating (it gets a little dicey in the next chapter, but surely I won't shock too many of this hyper-mature younger generation. However, ratings aside, the main fact is that I sincerely believe that having Voldemort return (and the manner in which he did so) is more than harsh enough for Harry (and for the readers) without having anyone callously kill 'the spare'. Besides, Cedric is a fine fellow who's no threat to anyone; I prefer to have him alive.
Anyway, thank you most kindly for the thoughtful review, Martin!
Reviewer: Trucker Signed Date: 2016.05.08 - 03:10AM Title: Second Kiss
There's something wrong here, some sort of mis-edit: "because they were both savouring time some enforced down-time."
Reviewer: 1010case Signed Date: 2016.05.08 - 01:28AM Title: Second Kiss
I'm really enjoying this story. Great writing and nice chapter ending. Looking forward to the next chapter. Thank you.
Wonderful to hear that you're enjoying the story, and the writing. Thank you!
Unlike some past challenges where I've divided my time between the challenge story and my main work of the time, for this one I've been dedicating to the challenge in full. One would think that writing 20K words in 6 weeks would be pretty easy for someone who churned out 10K/week for pretty well the entire writing of The Prevailing Counterpoint, but it seems that editing is a liquid that can fill any vessel it's afforded.
Anyway, hopefully the end product is worth it.
Thank you for reading and reviewing, 1010case!
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2016.05.07 - 04:53PM Title: Second Kiss
Simply wonderful! :)
Hey, thank you so kindly, Hannah!
Completely unrelated, but I was thinking of you the other day, especially in the context of my distinctly 'lamb'-brained notion of developing a Shaun The Sheep cross-over story. I still have nothing remotely resembling a plot, but I did stumble upon a picture from which great (if spooky) tales may emerge. The SIYE parser may garble this link on you, but in case it doesn't, then do not click on this if you're settling down for bed ;)
Reviewer: Dreaming Haven Signed Date: 2016.05.07 - 04:30PM Title: Second Kiss
Great story! I look forward to the next chapter.
Oh! Great to hear from you again, Debra. Thanks for dropping a note!
One more review to respond to, and I shall begin editing chapter 4.
Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2016.05.07 - 03:22PM Title: Second Kiss
ah to bad about voldy getting back, but glad to see ginny and harry making the most out of the trunk....kutgw
Ah yes - this is not a story in which Riddle can be thwarted at this stage, however there is another in the pipeline... about which I shall not yet say any more.
So yes, the trunk is not a *star* of this story, but it's always nearby, and always useful.
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, Fred!
Reviewer: Aniket Chowdhury Signed Date: 2016.05.07 - 01:58PM Title: Second Kiss
Reviewer: Aniket Chowdhury Signed Date: 2016.05.07 - 01:58PM Title: Second Kiss
Bad Idea to read this chapter man.
Rather illuminating to be seeing this story through your eyes, Aniket!
When I starting weaving the plot lines together, I thought to myself, 'Hey, maybe I'll write each chapter like its own little story, with its own dilemma, climax and denouement.' It never occurred to me that the evolution between chapters (gradually growth in feelings and in semi-canonical drama) could feel like a cliff-hanger between chapters but, I guess I can see how that could be.
Anyway, your enthusiasm is greatly appreciated, and your reward for living with a week of curiosity is that you have an opportunity to influence the final chapter (draft written, but much editing still to come).
And yes, every story we write here is a tribute to Jo Rowling, either directly or indirectly; in devotion or discernment. Different people may say different things about the rigour of her plots, and the soundness of her messages, but she had an extraordinary mind for compelling characters!