Reviews For Darkness Within
Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2016.12.14 - 12:33PM Title: Chapter 23 Alive
This is definitely a novel addition to the great compendium -- rather doubt there's anything else quite like it. Actually, let's say I'm quite certain of that.
Can I make a statement that, although a bit crude in a Henry James sort of way, is intended neither as a backhanded compliment nor a forehanded insult? The statement is that, in several prolonged instances throughout the reading of this story, you have annoyed the jiggers out of me, but I've always held my tongue, somehow knowing that you would make it all better. Best case in point, here in this final chapter, was to see Ginny suddenly rise up, firm and resolute. Up until that very moment, your Ginny character was much more the mousey girl from CoS than the ginger & spice from OotP, but it certainly looks to me that the trajectory has shifted. I realise she can't go all the way overnight, but it certainly assuages my private petty grumbles.
One final point that I probably can't quite articulate is to muse a bit about the constant tug in this story between sharp and sweet. I personally would never veer back and forth between 'whistling in the spring flowers' sweetness and 'blood on the knife's edge' poignancy, and there were times I raised first one eyebrow and then the other. To be reading through the subject bifurcations kind of messes with my head, but now that I've seen the whole package I actually rather like it, and I commend you on the innovation. I can only imagine that our latest generation of young readers (who are all more warped than I am, I might add) would adore this sort of bitter-sweet dark chocolate fiction, if you ever decided to try your hand outside of the fanfic world.
Anyway, I'm sure I've done enough damage for one review :) Brilliant first story!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I have sincerely appreciated your interest and support of this story. You have given me a great deal to think about in this final review!
Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2016.12.06 - 12:02PM Title: Chapter 19 The Yule Ball
The problem with being so late in reading a story is that, often times (especially when one ends up vetting and approving a lot of the chapters), one gets tipped off to certain plot developments before one has a chance to read them properly in sequence. So, unfortunately, I knew that you would be doing something rather creative with the Yule Ball.
Luckily, the 'spoiler' didn't spoil it. I did very much enjoy how you twisted things around judiciously to involve your main character; how you had apparently been artfully setting up that character for her surprise role; how you managed to sustain the relative innocence you've crafted with these young teens; how it all fit nicely with the story.
So, well done!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! You are of course quite correct that I set this up. Mapping out a bit over four years and then dividing the story in half leaves certain plot points reasonably well explained and others rather hanging unfortunately. Glad you enjoyed the Yule Ball!
Reviewer: BrianMcLyr Signed Date: 2016.12.05 - 07:18PM Title: Chapter 4 Sirius Black
Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2016.12.05 - 06:28AM Title: Chapter 18 Dragons
This is my favourite fanfic line in a while: “Still my favorite though,” he said.
Reviewer: BrianMcLyr Signed Date: 2016.11.30 - 10:14PM Title: Chapter 3 Diagon Alley
Reviewer: BrianMcLyr Signed Date: 2016.11.30 - 10:13PM Title: Chapter 2 Longbottom Manor
kutgw, to paraphrase Ski
Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2016.11.26 - 01:03AM Title: Chapter 23 Alive
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2016.11.15 - 08:10AM Title: Chapter 23 Alive
I suppose that the second and third task of the TWT must have been a suspenseful, but also boring affair for the spectators. I'm glad you let Cedric survive.
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2016.11.15 - 06:59AM Title: Chapter 22 The Maze
It's been a brilliant description of the events in the maze. Cedric's part was quite the surprise. I loved it.
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2016.11.14 - 12:24PM Title: Chapter 23 Alive
In the sequel, that is! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2016.11.14 - 12:21PM Title: Chapter 23 Alive
Oh this one was a beaut! Loved your take on the final task! Glad Cedric survived! Poor Anna - what a way to find out ol Gramps is back! Glad she is determined to make her own choices about who she is! Can't help but wonder if Moldyshorts knows about Anna?!. I wish Hermoine had kept Skeeter in that jar or turned her over to the ministry! Keep those chapters coming!
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2016.11.13 - 06:06PM Title: Chapter 23 Alive
Superb chapter! You've left plenty of things to be pondered over for the sequel. I look forward to it and seeing how things turn out and how Anna deals with the news of her grandfather being Voldemort, what is the situation with Charlie and his infatuation with Anna, and Ginny's deepening feelings for Harry. And Im glad Cedric seems to have survived the year too :)
Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2016.11.12 - 02:48PM Title: Chapter 23 Alive
Great conclusion for the year. Of course a lot of things are left open... so I'll be patiently waiting for that sequel ;-)
Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2016.11.12 - 08:51AM Title: Chapter 23 Alive
The end of the year and a lot of dark clouds on the horizon. I hope in future you can shed some light on them. In particular, what Anna has too do with it.
Reviewer: Arnel Signed Date: 2016.11.12 - 03:37AM Title: Chapter 23 Alive
More brilliance to end this wonderful rendition of Goblet of Fire. I'm so glad Cedric's safe; that Ginny is slowly realizing that she cares more deeply for Harry than her first-year crush would allow her to; that Anna has learned more about her grandfather, and while what she learned may not be positive, her attitude certainly has; and finally, that Rita Skeeter is getting her just desserts for all the nastiness she wrote about Harry during the year. You're setting up your next story quite nicely and I look forward to reading it. Well done.
Reviewer: Arnel Signed Date: 2016.11.07 - 02:10AM Title: Chapter 22 The Maze
Wonderful chapter! I especially liked reading about the Triwizard Tournament from Cedric's point of view. He indeed encountered more traps and snares and creatures than Harry did, but what I'm happiest about is that he was able to escape the graveyard alive, even if he did Splinch himself in the process. I sincerely hope Professor Flitwick arrives in time to get him to the hospital and learn what's going on with Harry.
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2016.11.06 - 03:16PM Title: Chapter 22 The Maze
Really like how you're doing the 3rd task! Nice spine tingling cliffy at the end there too! Nice twist having Cedric get away instead of dead! The splinch doesn't sound good tho! Sounds like Anna's grandpa is still coming back to body form - wonder if she has any clue?! I also enjoyed having Bill notice Fleur at the family gathering! I believe it was the other way around in the book! We didn't even see Bill in the GOF movie, and then that was followed by Bill and Harry supposedly not knowing each other in the DH1 movie! Neither of which was a surprise considering how Steve Kloves made a mess of so many things in the last 5 movies! Can't wait for the next chapter! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2016.11.06 - 01:13PM Title: Chapter 22 The Maze
Ooh, I didn't expect that to happen! :)
Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2016.11.04 - 08:10PM Title: Chapter 20 The Second Task
I loved this chapter. Your handling of the second task was great.
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2016.11.03 - 07:46PM Title: Chapter 21 Speculations and Fears
Nice job on this chapter! I know the movie didn't but I can't remember if the book mentioned anything about Hermoine actually kissing Krum! She obviously wouldn't have done more due to her true feelings for Ron! Apparently they haven't figured out at this point that Skeeter herself is the bug! Can't wait for the 3rd task and how Anna figures in! :D:D:D:D;D:D:D:D