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SIYE Time:13:04 on 23rd October 2017

Reviews For Darkness Within II

Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.10.23 - 08:20AM Title: Chapter 13 Department of Mysteries

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Thank you so much for the action-packed chapter.

I'm glad Sirius survived the rescue mission. Letís hope it'll help Harry to have a carefree summer. On the other hand, he'll probably be grumpy all summer because he feels responsible for his friends' injuries. He always finds a reason to be moody, doesn't he? I've given up the hope that Ginny will cheer him up anytime soon.

Very probably, however, Anna's betrothal negotiations will overshadow Harry's moods coming summer. I guess Ol' Lucius appearance in the ministry will be the ultimate reason to decline Malfoy's betrothal request. Hopefully, he'll be rewarded with a nice, long stay in Azkaban.



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.10.22 - 07:59PM Title: Chapter 13 Department of Mysteries

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Holy lit firecracker Batman what an exciting chapter this was! Great action but hate that everyone but Harry ended up in the hospital wing! Glad they are okay! Only disappointment was that Dorko didn't end up in Azkaban or hanging by his family jewels from the astronomy tower for what he did to Anna! Wonder if the red marks Molly saw on Anna's wrist have something to do with the secret spells she's been doing and is Madame Pomfrey aware of them?! Really Enjoyed your take on the department of mysteries battle, especially since Sirius survived! Can't wait for the next thrilling installment! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D



Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2017.10.16 - 09:56AM Title: Chapter 12 Family's Consent

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Well I certainly wasn't expecting that! I can understand why this chapter will get different reactions from readers, but personally I find it a realistic thing that Malfoy would do. (And others behind the scenes in DH, just never in the books obviously).

Anyway, I'm really glad she managed to get away from him, and I like the way that Madam Pomfrey has enlisted the help of the other two. I look forward to the next chapter and the fallout from this. (Oh and I hope Ginny still got to Bat-Bogey someone to escape the office ha ha!)


Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! You raise an interesting point about the behind the scenes happenings by the time we reached DH. While JKR never specifically depicted certain happenings, the level of violence by the last book and the number of people mentioned as being tortured and/or killed was rather telling. The next chapter will be set mostly in the Ministry with fallout from everything mostly in the chapter after that. Ginny and her infamous Bat-Bogey Hex - I must work that in eventually for someone!!!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.10.16 - 04:09AM Title: Chapter 12 Family's Consent

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Malfoy has done what I expect from a Malfoy. I'd already wondered that it didn't already happen when Malfoy waylaid Anna near the Forbidden Forest.

Too bad Anna's channelling her inner Dumbledore, and gives Malfoy a second chance, well, I guess it wasnít Malfoy's first time, so it would rather be the fifth or sixth chance he gets. Since Malfoy knows that he won't be punished, he'll probably brag about his deed in the hope that the other candidates will withdraw their betrothal requests. However, I still hope that Anna's mysterious ritual soon will cause Malfoy to have a painful end.


Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! You've made several interesting points. I'm glad that you felt Malfoy was in character for Malfoy. By this time in the books, he is rich, spoiled, entitled, and has been given extra power within the school. His parents have been encouraging him towards this betrothal. Unfortunately I can see him truly believing he has the right to take what he wants, including Anna. This is not to say that I am making excuses for him at all! I'm simply relieved he was in character and that you were not surprised by this turn of events. As for what will happen to Malfoy...the next few chapters will answer that question.



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.10.15 - 09:04PM Title: Chapter 12 Family's Consent

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R is right, as in that really rotten scumbag Dorko! This had to be difficult to write so my hat is off to you!
Glad Anna will be alright but Dorko might not be if Charlie finds out(or if Neville and Augusta do)! I would have to think that Dorko just eliminated himself from betrothal contention and his parents will not be happy campers(although pure bloods probably don't go camping?)! Speaking of Charlie, would love to see him show up about now to save the day for Anna! If I was Charlie or Neville and knew that had happened, I'd be running Dorko's family jewels up the Hogwarts flagpole to see if anybody would salute them besides Dorko! Can't wait for the next chapter! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D


Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! I always love reading your reviews and sincerely appreciate your understanding of what Dorko has done, as well as the likely consequences. The family jewels comment was particularly perfect! The next chapter will be set mostly at the Ministry, but Charlie will return to the story soon. On a side note, your comment about pure-bloods going camping made my mind spin in a very amusing direction. Unfortunately, I'm not good at writing comedy, but one of our mutually favorite authors is brilliant at it and could likely write a marvelous short story on the topic! Hint, hint GHL!!!



Reviewer: aryell Signed Date: 2017.10.15 - 12:04PM Title: Chapter 12 Family's Consent

Sigh. I have to say I'm disappointed that you would write such a scene. To me, when a writer uses this kind trope to give the character more 'depth' it's just... I can't even find the words. Look I really love your writing but this chapter was a huge disappointment. There's an article that explains this better. https://www.wired.com/2015/06/rape-scene s/

I'm
Not trying to make you feel bad but as a rape survivor (typing that made me shake) I just had to get that out.

Author's Response: First, I'm very sorry that this chapter upset you and even more sorry for your past experience. I put a trigger warning at the top of this chapter specifically because I hoped to avoid causing anyone distress. As a survivor myself who has had the benefit of a great deal of therapy and many years having passed, I found writing this scene a bit cathartic. Having said that, I understand that everyone's experience is different.



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.10.12 - 05:26AM Title: Chapter 11 O.W.L.s

Yikes, I'd completely overlooked that I'd already left a review for this chapter, lol. It must have something to do with my advanced age...
On the other hand, it prettifies the statistics, doesn't it?

Author's Response: It's all good! I simply thought you had further questions/ comments. Thank you!!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.10.12 - 04:36AM Title: Chapter 11 O.W.L.s

It's a pity that Ginny didn't kick his shin, when Harry reacted so grumpily on her offer to help.

I'm afraid that Malfoy is up to no good. Or is it just a ruse from the author, so that Anna can't join the others on their way to the Ministry? We will see. On the other hand, maybe Harry won't go to the Ministry at all, and Sirius will stay alive. We will see, indeed.

Author's Response: Ginny kicking Harry would have been rather amusing I must admit! He was being a bit of a prat. The next two chapters will answer your questions. Thank you!!!



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.10.10 - 03:56PM Title: Chapter 11 O.W.L.s

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Cheers for another interesting chapter! Dorko sure never hesitates to show what a total jerk he is! Good for Harry on his magic improvement - must really be good if he impressed Ol Greasehead! Interesting about Harry and Anna's lessons and her being an Occlumens. Hermoine needs to give it a rest - not everyone is an academic ace! Hope you work in Charlie to rescue Anna soon (Charlie was also the only Weasley not to appear in the movies) ! I swear Umbitch makes you wish that when the Centaurs took her into the forest(my favorite scene in OTP) that they hadn't brought her back! Can't wait for the next one!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! I have to tell you I was thoroughly disappointed that Albus went into the forest and "rescued" Dolores at the end of Book 5 thus enabling her to continue to rise in the Ministry and lead the Muggle-born Registration movement in Book 7. Sometimes Dumbledore made seriously poor choices in his quest to always give everyone a second chance! Charlie will show up again soon, though we have to make it through some other things before he returns. Personally, I don't know why Charlie was left out of the movies. It would have been perfectly easy to include him in the Goblet of Fire movie!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.10.09 - 04:32AM Title: Chapter 11 O.W.L.s

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I can't help but hope Malfoy is trying to do something indecent to Anna, to give her the opportunity to hex him into the next century, without a return ticket.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I take it you are not a fan of Draco Malfoy. I read a story once where he was transfigured into manure and scourgified out of existence. Wish I could remember the name of the fic; that author had quite the imagination!



Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2017.10.08 - 10:37AM Title: Chapter 11 O.W.L.s

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Good chapter, but where's my Charlie??? If Anna decides she doesn't want to marry him I will gladly...feel free to send him my way! :)

Author's Response: Love this comment!!! I'm glad you approve of Charlie, and I promise he will return to the story soon. It's good to know I'm not the only one intrigued by his character (the only Weasley brother JKR never told us much about). Thank you for reviewing and for making me laugh!



Reviewer: Prongs I Signed Date: 2017.10.04 - 06:43AM Title: Chapter 10 Betrayed

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I wonder about the real reasons why Malfoy waylaid Anna outside the castle, and why I suddenly felt the urgent need for a hand washing when he approached her.
Thanks for another fine update.


Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad to hear you're suspicious of Malfoy. More will be revealed in the next chapter. I also understand the 'need for a hand washing'. He really is that type of character.



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.10.03 - 05:37PM Title: Chapter 10 Betrayed

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Another stellar chapter! Glad you stuck with Marietta Edgecombe as the traitor! (Always thought Kloves was an idiot to have it be Cho in the movie)! Poor Anna is in a real quandry about all the betrothal letters but fortunately it looks like Charlie might have the edge! At least his was from the heart! Bet she wishes Dorko would give it a rest! I know his come-on routine to Anna almost made me gag on the Australian Shiraz I was sipping while writing this and that is too good a wine to waste! Can't wait for the next chapter! (Thanks for the toast you made on the last chapter review response!) :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D


Author's Response: Thank you so much! I always enjoy reading your reviews! While I have never particularly liked Cho as a character, she was not as bad as Marietta. I've always been a bit disappointed by the many little changes (and a few big ones) in the movies. Anyways, Anna is indeed overwhelmed by her options and the decision she will have to make. As for Dorko...I can only apologize for almost upsetting your glass of Shiraz!!!



Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2017.10.02 - 10:43PM Title: Chapter 10 Betrayed

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Things are certainly not getting any simpler for Anna. How terrible, having so many to choose from :p

Author's Response: Thank you so much! You're quite correct - things are not getting any simpler.



Reviewer: aryell Signed Date: 2017.10.01 - 12:15PM Title: Chapter 10 Betrayed

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I quite like this story. I don't usually like OC but Anna is very thought out. I would suggest you give her a few more flaws and have her make mistakes because t would make her even more real.

I also love Charlie being in this story more. I always wanted to know more about Charlie. I felt that he was sort of the forgotten Weasley

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I guess in my mind Anna is inherently flawed since she continually lies to everyone around her (generally lies of omission or stubborn silence) and is often manipulative of people and situations (the smile and sweet tone should not be trusted). I'll have to think about how to make her character a bit more obvious, and perhaps a bit less subtely Slytherin! I'm glad you are enjoying Charlie in this story. Being the forgotten Weasley, he is perfect for my purposes. You will see more of him over time!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.10.01 - 04:55AM Title: Chapter 10 Betrayed

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I just hope that Anna won't regret the time alone with Malfoy. Who knows what Malfoy will claim, that Anna and he have done in this time. I don't know what protective effects Anna's ritual will have, or better should have, however, I hope for her that it will help.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I quite agree that Anna is not always as careful as she should be. The scene with Malfoy is a perfect example!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.09.27 - 07:13AM Title: Chapter 9 Witch's Choice

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I'm really curious how it's going on with Anna and Charlie. Will she really agree and one day move from her opulent manor to a rather inadequate hut in the Dragon Reserve in the Welsh mountains? As much as I'd be happy for Charlie, it would be a bit unusual, wouldn't it? I suspect there're still hidden mysteries connecting Anna and Charlie. Charlie's dreams certainly didn't come out of nowhere. However, somehow I've the feeling the Malfoys will take revenge, in case Anna prefers a Weasley to a Malfoy.

I'm glad Harry didnít have to kiss one of the twins, lol. And I'm even happier that Ginny got her first kiss from Harry. Was it the breakthrough for her? Somehow I doubt it.

I had to smile about Arthur and Molly when they tried to convey the impression that they know exactly what their children are doing. I hope they will be able to keep this illusion for a long time because such an illusion has a soothing effect.

Great Chapter. Thank you so much!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! You have a curious habit of making a comment that occasionally makes me wonder if you can read my mind, or have magically "seen" a bit of the next chapter. I honestly don't know what to make of it! I'm glad you enjoyed the pairings for the first bit of the spin the bottle game. It was great fun to write and I needed a bit of levity! As for Arthur and Molly, I think most parents would like to believe they are on top of things. Whether that is true or not is an entirely different matter!



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.09.25 - 03:23PM Title: Chapter 9 Witch's Choice

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Well this chapter was a real beaut!! I almost fell out of my chair laughing at Anna's five fingered description of Dorko to Ginny - I think she showed real class not using her middle finger for the last one! Wouldn't put it past the Malfunction family to try something underhanded tho! She didn't seem to be too impressed with Ernie either! So Glad Arthur and Molly agreed to help Charlie out - he has thought it out well and I think he and Anna would be good together! Hope he doesn't have to come to her rescue but he would! The spin the bottle game was a real hoot too! I have fond memories of playing that game when I was younger, especially since that's how my wife and I shared our first kiss! Can't wait for the next installment! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response: Thank you!!! I'm glad you enjoyed Anna's critique of Dorko. It was amazingly easy to come up with five reasons to not like him. Rather sad, really. I love your comment about you and your wife sharing your fist kiss during a game of spin the bottle. It is one of those right of passage games that teenagers used to play. I'm not sure what they do now. Regardless, I am raising a glass of wine in honor of you both!!!



Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2017.09.25 - 01:04PM Title: Chapter 1 Serious Discussions

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Why...hello there!

So in the first part, the small gesture descriptives, less is more. Other than that, excellent.

The second...now that really turned the table over. A Weasley/Veela moment like none other I have seen around these parts. It was like a Kundalini awakening.



Author's Response: Thank you so much! I quite agree that Bill and Fleur definitely had an interesting moment. I hope you continue to enjoy the story!



Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2017.09.25 - 11:33AM Title: Chapter 9 Witch's Choice

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Oh what a marvellous chapter this is! I think poor Molly nearly had a heart attack there!
I loved the game of spin the bottle - yay to Harry/Ginny, and I had to laugh at Gred and Forge with their "turn their backs and hum", how very mature of them for once. I look forward to seeing the fallout from that kiss next chapter, and hopefully Anna's reaction to Charlie's betrothal contract. :)

Unfortunately there was two things that disappointed me greatly about this chapter - I didn't want it to end, and I have to wait another week for the next instalment! Love this story :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review! I love writing Gred and Forge even though it takes three or more rewrites to make it through each scene with them. They are just such fun characters! Glad you're enjoying this story!




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