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SIYE Time:1:07 on 14th December 2017

Reviews For Darkness Within II

Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.12.11 - 01:57PM Title: Chapter 20 Power

Wow! What a special early Christmas gift this was! HO HO HO! I knew it had to be a bond and boy am I glad I was right! Charlie and Anna are bonded and their love for each other is evident! The betrothal is imminent and they are clearly very happy together! No surprise that Bill and Fleur bonded as well! (Harry and Ginny on deck!) Would love to see the look on that twerp Dorko and his mum's faces when they find out! Wonder what kind of wrench they'll try to throw into the works?! Really can't wait for the next chapter! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response: That submit button really sticks sometimes!!!! By the way that event you have been requesting, it's coming in a few chapters. I sincerely hope you approve!



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.12.11 - 01:56PM Title: Chapter 20 Power

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Wow! What a special early Christmas gift this was! HO HO HO! I knew it had to be a bond and boy am I glad I was right! Charlie and Anna are bonded and their love for each other is evident! The betrothal is imminent and they are clearly very happy together! No surprise that Bill and Fleur bonded as well! (Harry and Ginny on deck!) Would love to see the look on that twerp Dorko and his mum's faces when they find out! Wonder what kind of wrench they'll try to throw into the works?! Really can't wait for the next chapter! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm very glad you approve of the bond between Charlie and Anna (as well as the one between Bill and Fleur that occurred in the first chapter of this story). Since I set up this moment about half way through the original Darkness Within when Charlie dreamed of Anna, I'm rather happy to have finally reached this point! More on Dorko and his mum in a few chapters.



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.12.11 - 08:37AM Title: Chapter 20 Power

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Intriguing explanations regarding the magical bound, or is it already save to call it a soul bond? I wonder if it's really a Weasley thing, or what else could have been the trigger.

I just had the hint of the suspicion that Harry might not be involved in the defeat of Voldemort. However, since we've already heard the prophecy, that's most certainly wrong. So I'm really curious how these bonds will influence the outcome of the story. They certainly didn't happen for nothing. (No spoilers please!)


Maybe it's a silly question, and it's certainly not important, but whose POV was this chapter actually? It must have been one of the Weasley siblings because Arthur and Molly were referenced as dad and Mum.

I'm looking forward to reading your next update!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I will definitely try to honor your 'no spoilers please' while still responding to some of your thoughts. As such I will make no comment about Harry, Voldemort, or the prophecy. The bond I am trying to describe is very much a merging of the core magic of the two people involved. This bond causes permanent and vital connections, but is not generally what is thought of as a soul bond (definitely no mind reading for example). Most of this chapter was from Bill's point of view.



Reviewer: HP18 Signed Date: 2017.12.10 - 06:48PM Title: Chapter 20 Power

I'm curious if this will happen to Harry and Ginny. I'm glad you nixed the soul bond I never really like that they share minds

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm very glad you are curious!!! I fully admit that certain aspects of the traditional "soul bond" type of relationship would not work in this story. As such, I have tried to focus on this bonding as being more of a merging of the magical cores between two people.



Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2017.12.10 - 11:07AM Title: Chapter 12 Family's Consent

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That was an intense bit of drama that I had *not* expected! My compliments on both surprising me, and on rendering a very difficult situation with exceptional measure and clarity. Kind of topical, these days...

In any case, another excellent example of how the story, and the wordcraft, are maturing!



Author's Response: Thank you so much! I know this was a rather challenging chapter (for the author and for readers), and I truly appreciate your words.



Reviewer: Truthrowan Signed Date: 2017.12.10 - 10:53AM Title: Chapter 20 Power

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This is one of my very favorite stories. The pairing of Anna and Charlie is wonderful, as is the sibling relationship of Anna and Neville. It is one of the stories I am happiest to see updates of.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story.



Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2017.12.10 - 10:53AM Title: Chapter 11 O.W.L.s

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Interesting retelling of the OotP pre-crisis action.

The base strength of your story is its novel perspective -- basically sticking to 90-95% canonical plot, but through a very different set of eyes and ears and a somewhat distinct set of issues. This can be a great recipe for experiencing everything anew, but only as long as the authour is disciplined enough to stick to the unique perspective -- not always easy given the tempting crystal ball of canonical foreknowledge...

But you're definitely pulling it off. Good job!



Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review! As time goes on in this story, I will be following canon less which is both exciting and frightening!



Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2017.12.04 - 05:48PM Title: Chapter 19 O.W.L.s and Birthdays

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Did you really have to end all that cuteness on a note of mystery and drama? Nasty, you should bang your head with a pot and ask for forgiveness from your readers :)

Author's Response: Yeah, sorry about that. As a reader, cliffhangers drive me crazy, but it just felt like the right place to end the chapter. I promise the next chapter will explain quite a bit! Thank you so much!!!



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.12.04 - 03:02PM Title: Chapter 19 O.W.L.s and Birthdays

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Well hot diggity dog! A new chapter in this brilliant story and a great one too! Glad to see the kids did well on their Owls! I really liked the walk between Charlie and Anna and that she held his hand! Hate that she seems to be having some PTSD issues! Charlie handled it well and is obviously PO'd at Dorko1 It's a good thing for Dorko that Charlie hasn't seen him or that unfortunate accident could get ugly in a hurry! Nice birthday party until that sneaky and fiendish cliffy at the end while Charlie and Anna were dancing! Now we have to wait for the next chapter to see if that is a bond or not! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked the walk between Charlie and Anna. It was the easiest scene to write in this chapter! Yep, Charlie is definitely feeling some strong negative emotions when it comes to Dorko, and he is not the type to let it go quickly or easily. Sorry for the cliffy at the end (especially since it was fiendish - love that word!). The next chapter will explain the situation (at least somewhat!!!). As always, I greatly appreciate your review!



Reviewer: HP18 Signed Date: 2017.12.04 - 12:36PM Title: Chapter 19 O.W.L.s and Birthdays

I love Harry and Ginnys' burgeoning relationship. We saw Charlie's and Ron's reaction but what does the rest of the family think? And can't wait to see what's up with the golden light

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying Harry and Ginny's relationship. I think the Weasley family would generally be quite comfortable with them being together. After all, Molly and Arthur are rather parental with Harry. The next chapter will explain more about the light!



Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2017.12.04 - 12:33PM Title: Chapter 19 O.W.L.s and Birthdays

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You are really mean, you know that right...leaving it there like that

I'm extremely curious as to what's going to happen next chapter and what that light it. Not sure whether you're going down the soul bond route, but either way I'm assuming that it's something that's signalling that they're meant to be together. Loved Charlie's talk with Anna, very natural, and good that he was able to calm her down easily.

Is it next week yet?
Edit - And how could I forget about how sweet Harry and Ginny are - really glad you've got them together earlier :)


Author's Response: Thank you! And, sorry. I guess it is rather mean to leave everyone hanging like that. I promise the next chapter will explain what happened at the end. Glad you liked the talk between Charlie and Anna, as well as the sweetness of Harry and Ginny!



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.12.04 - 12:32PM Title: Chapter 19 O.W.L.s and Birthdays

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Not sure why Bill was cursing at the end. It sounds like a good thing took place, We'll see next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! With regard to Bill, perhaps he curses when he's startled. I'm very glad it sounds like a good thing!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.12.04 - 05:24AM Title: Chapter 19 O.W.L.s and Birthdays

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Poor Charlie is even more excited than Harry was, I actually thought that wasn't possible, lol.

Harry and Ginny seem to be quite comfortable with each other. It's a nice change that Harry isn't afraid of Ginny's older brothers because he's dating their baby sister. Ah-yes, baby sister. A few weeks ago, I searched all seven books, and I couldn't find a single reference where Ginny was called baby sister. Oddly enough, it seems to be a standard reference for her in fanfiction. (That wasn’t meant to be a complaint, it's just a fact that I've often noticed.)

The end of the chapter was...interesting...are we going to have a soul bond...or was it a kind of protection charm put on Anna during her rituals to protect her against…hmm, I dunno… I reckon, we’ll find out in the next chapter.

Great update, thanks a lot!

Author's Response: Thank you! As a general rule, I have always thought the Weasley family would be perfectly fine with Ginny and Harry dating. Molly and Arthur were certainly willing to step into parenting roles for Harry as soon as they had the chance, and Harry got along well with Ginny's brothers. Not that an occasional bump in the road would be abnormal of course!



Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2017.12.03 - 09:06AM Title: Chapter 10 Betrayed

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First of all, a general comment: it's wonderful to see the remarkable improvements in your writing since the beginning of your first story. This time last year, it was words and prose; now it is flow and images and catches of breath as we're swept along with a story that glides well clear of cliche.

And speaking of clearing cliche, I follow up my joy with how you handled the discreet kiss last chapter to a nod of glowing approval, in this one, for using a degree of separation (i.e., waiting for a chapter and the passage of a few thousand words) to offer a very tasteful recollection of details that we (even the most decorous of us) can't help but hope to hear. It is choices such as these, as well as an ever-sharpening feel for written constructs, that take this work beyond the realm of hobby and up towards 'serious' composition.



Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much for your comments! Occasionally I wonder what on earth I was thinking of to come up with such a long, complicated story for my first attempt at fanfiction writing. Honestly, I had no idea how challenging it would be or how much time it would take (a few pages of an outline that covers about four years does not a story make!!!). I now realize it would have been far wiser to try a couple of one-shots first! Oh, well! Nothing quite like diving in;)



Reviewer: Truthrowan Signed Date: 2017.12.01 - 12:28AM Title: Chapter 18 Dancing Lessons

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I really enjoyed this chapter, but am yet again left waiting for more! Thank you for writing such an enchanting story.


Author's Response: Thank you so much!



Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2017.11.30 - 04:04AM Title: Chapter 18 Dancing Lessons

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Yay, Harry finally found some of that Gryffindor courage and kissed Ginny! Well done to Sirius to for giving him the nudge.

Can't wait for Charlie's arrival. Lovely chapter as always :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! A little nudge and an opportunity were all Harry needed;)



Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2017.11.27 - 10:00AM Title: Chapter 9 Witch's Choice

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Wow! To go boldly where no one has gone before -- a first kiss whose details are unsung; whose undying sweetness is in the faintest of murmurs. Bravo!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! I'll admit that I was slightly nervous about posting this chapter. Happily, it has been well received! I'm glad you enjoyed it!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.11.27 - 06:35AM Title: Chapter 18 Dancing Lessons

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Dancing school ... that quite certainly was a fascinating time, with a lot of funny incidents...unfortunately it's been almost half a century ago.

It felt like Christmas came early when Harry finally found his Gryffindor courage...did he recognize what the third fragrance of Amortentia was? Well, I reckon he was a wee bit too excited to make the connection between the flowery scents, lol.

Let's hope Anna will soon make the right choice in her betrothal business. I’m glad that Neville is present at her rendezvous with Charlie, so there’s someone who’ll tell us all the details... ;-)

Great chapter. I loved it.


Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! I had fun writing the dancing lessons scene, particularly Harry finding a quiet moment to have with Ginny. More on Charlie and Anna very soon.... Your comment about Neville has me grinning!!!



Reviewer: HP18 Signed Date: 2017.11.27 - 12:53AM Title: Chapter 18 Dancing Lessons

Good chapter. Finally Harry and Ginny get together. The one thing that JKR never touched on was the reaction of the other Wesley's about their relationship. Are you?

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! To answer your question in a single word, yes!



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.11.26 - 07:55PM Title: Chapter 18 Dancing Lessons

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Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay My, oh, my, what a wonderful day! A brand new chapter has come my way, zip-a-dee-doo-dah zip-a-dee-ay! And what a brilliant chapter it is! First a passionate kiss between Harry and GInny and then he has the kahoonas to ask her to be his girlfriend - kudos to Sirius "Dr. Love" Black for his spot on advice to Harry)! Ron still has lousy timing! And another horcrux bites the dust (kind of like it was Sirius weildng the sword instead of Ron)! Especially glad Anna wants to have Charlie over to the manor for tea and a walk in the garden! Maybe she understood those amortentia smells after all! ! BTW, you might consider having a contest to see who comes up with the best idea for Dorko's unfortunate accident(wink wink)! Can't wait for the next one!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! I'm very glad you enjoyed Harry and Ginny's moment following the dancing lesson. I know it was a slow build up, but they are finally together! As for the locket Horcrux, I really wanted it to be Sirius for lots of reasons (his brother's sacrifice, Kreacher's efforts, the fact it resided in his house for years, and because I think adults should be handling the bulk of the fight against old Voldy for as long as possible). More on Charlie and Anna soon.... I love your idea of a contest on the best idea for Dorko and am very curious about your thoughts on the subject. Feel free to share!




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