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SIYE Time:11:19 on 19th September 2017

Reviews For Darkness Within II

Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2017.08.19 - 02:49PM Title: Chapter 3 Thestrals and Snakes

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Just finished reading this third chapter when the fourth appeared in the queue. Interesting timing :)

In any case, a nice subtle turn of plot to have Harry hear of Ginny's Seeker ascendancy directly from the up-and-coming substitute herself. Given this, Harry's gracious reply seems very much in character.

No stylistic comments, other than to say that your writing continues to progress, attaining a certain understated quality that flows straight from page to imagination.



Author's Response: Thank you so much! Writing this story has been such a learning experience for me besides being a wonderful distraction.



Reviewer: Prongs I Signed Date: 2017.08.14 - 09:43AM Title: Chapter 3 Thestrals and Snakes

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Great update.
I like the subtle changes you made, but I hope that Arthur's fate won't change, but maybe Sirius' fate will...
The Anna/Malfoy moment worried me a bit. On the other hand, maybe the mystery about her and Charlie will save her from the ferret at the end?
The relationship between Ginny and Harry is obviously progressing slowly but steadily. Maybe too slowly to get their great scene in the Common Room one year earlier? Let's wait and see...


Author's Response: Thank you so much! Your comments are very insightful! I won't admit to much right now, but I will be following canon less as time goes on. More on certain relationships coming quite soon!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.08.14 - 06:32AM Title: Chapter 3 Thestrals and Snakes

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Didn't know the house elves are such a nosy species, lol. It was quite cute.
I just hope that Anna's cheeks growing warm doesn't mean she's developing a crush on Malfoy.
It's a good thing the defence club is running so well. I don't remember, did McGonagall really know about the DA? Not that it really matters.
May I hope to soon witness a discussion between Ginny and Harry about how it feels to be possessed?
Great update, thanks!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Somehow I think the Longbottom house-elves would be prone to eavesdropping on occasion, though of course it would only be because they are trying to anticipate the needs of the family they serve. You raise an interesting point about Minerva and the DA. I don't know that JKR told us one way or the other. My hunch is that she probably figured it out eventually, smart witch that she is. The possession talk will be coming up soon!



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.08.13 - 06:11PM Title: Chapter 3 Thestrals and Snakes

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Oh what a dastardly cliffy that was at the end(even tho we know what happens - canonwise)! Looking forward to your take on that!
Nice active chapter with the DA starting, the thestrals, Umbitch and Ginny getting the seeker slot! Also noticed no kissing scene between Harry and Cho which I appreciate. I've never understood why that idiot movies screenwriter Kloves had the kissing scene between Harry and Cho be so passionate and then the first kiss between Harry and Ginny, which should have been several sunlit days passionate, be just a timid peck on the lips - that fool Kloves obviously had a problem with the Harry-Ginny ship and much of his writing did a disservice to JKR's books! Can't wait for the next one! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I quite agree with you about the relationship between Harry and Cho. It never made sense! The way the sixth movie skipped over Harry and Ginny's relationship was also highly disappointing. They certainly deserve more than a peck on the lips!!!



Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2017.08.13 - 01:30PM Title: Chapter 3 Thestrals and Snakes

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Another nice chapter. So Draco is considering Anna now? This is going to get strange :)

Author's Response: Yes, it will, and thank you for the review!




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