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SIYE Time:11:18 on 19th September 2017

Reviews For Darkness Within II

Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.09.04 - 02:39PM Title: Chapter 6 Drinking Games

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This was an interesting but fun chapter! I can remember playing drinking games like that in college! Suppose Anna was checking out Charlie's bod when he was showing off his tattoo? Narcissa is definitely up to something but glad Augusta won't force Anna into anything! I can't see Anna as Mrs. Dorko Malfoy! I thought Neville was going to come unglued at that thought! Can't wait for the next one! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!! College drinking games, oh the memories! I fully admit I was trying to subtely depict Anna admiring the view. She's reached an age to notice such things. I love writing Neville! Glad you liked his reaction to the thought of his cousin with Malfoy!



Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2017.09.04 - 12:41PM Title: Chapter 6 Drinking Games

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This was nice to read, with several different viewpoints. I'm surprised at Severus not wanting to find out more about Anna but I imagine it makes some sense. She's not Harry, after all.

Regarding the previous chapter, I did not mean that the teens' part should not have been there. Only that perhaps they could have been arranged in a different order.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Severus's curiosity will wax and wan a bit over time. He is an extremely busy man! I appreciate your comment about the previous chapter. I don't always notice the best way to organize and sequence events. Writing this two part story over the past year and a bit has been a great learning experience for me (first fiction I've attempted since finishing school almost two decades ago), and I fully admit I have felt the learning curve!!!



Reviewer: Prongs I Signed Date: 2017.09.04 - 10:51AM Title: Chapter 6 Drinking Games

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How comes that I always feel uncomfortable when I read the name Malfoy?
I'm really curious what you're planning for Charlie and Anna. Sounds like a strange couple for me, but it sounds undoubtedly better than Malfoy. On the other hand, Anna isn't even allowed to date Charlie, if he'd ask her out.
Thanks for another fine update.

Author's Response: I understand exactly what you mean about the name Malfoy! Uncomfortable is a kind way of putting it! I'm glad you're curious about Charlie and Anna. His interest in her will soon become more clear, as well as her options. Thank you so much for this review!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.09.04 - 07:28AM Title: Chapter 6 Drinking Games

There were some funny questions in the drinking game. Poor Ginny didn't get a chance to have a drink.
Obviously Mrs Malfoy continues to pull the strings. I wonder what will happen with Anna if the Malfoys eliminate Augusta. Anyway, I think it's good that Anna knows about her situation.
I suppose Snape and Dumbledore tried Legilimency on Anna, not Occlumency.



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.09.04 - 07:28AM Title: Chapter 6 Drinking Games

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There were some funny questions in the drinking game. Poor Ginny didn't get a chance to have a drink.
Obviously Mrs Malfoy continues to pull the strings. I wonder what will happen with Anna if the Malfoys eliminate Augusta. Anyway, I think it's good that Anna knows about her situation.
I suppose Snape and Dumbledore tried Legilimency on Anna, not Occlumency.


Author's Response: Oops!! Thank you for pointing out the Occlumency/Legilimency error. I just corrected it. Regardless of how many times I try to edit a chapter, a mistake always seems to remain! I truly appreciate you letting me know! As for Ginny, she was able to drink twice this round (for illicitly consuming liquor and for receiving a detention at Hogwarts). She also had a couple of drinks during the first round of the game in the previous chapter. Thank you for the wonderful review!




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