SIYE Time:3:23 on 19th March 2019

Reviews For Darkness Within II

Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2017.11.21 - 10:13AM Title: Chapter 8 Decisions


Character development is a fascinating art.

Just as each painter makes slightly different choices of brush, and each musician aspires to a unique chord, it fascinates me to find that one phrase that 'surprises' me. It is often innocuous; it can be open to misinterpretation; sometimes it is that perfect half step off the path of cliche. When done well, it packs power of thousands of words. So, in this chapter, we read:

'If anyone else had talked to him that way, Charlie would have taken a deep breath and decked them.'

My first question was to wonder why Charlie would have 'taken a deep breath'? For a moment I thought it was a mis-edit -- a new phrase grew around an old thought and never got excised. However, if one chooses to read it as written, then it say things about Charlie that I don't think have been effectively conveyed in anything else I've written. For the Charlie that takes a deep breath before defending honour is not some impulsive Gryffindor; he is not a 'Ron' with the emotional depth of a tea spoon. This is someone for whom honour is a duty -- chivalrous to a T, though not to a fault.


Anyway, another fine chapter! I'm dreadfully behind, but perhaps I'll keep you usefully distracted reminiscing your story long after the book has closed.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! You have captured Charlie quite well as I see him. JKR was kind enough to provide almost a blank slate when it comes to Charlie, allowing fans to create his character. I fully admit I modeled a great deal of Charlie's basic character on a few of the men I have known in my life, men of great physical and emotional strength. He is fundamentally tough, a survivor, but also someone who knows how to have fun, who enjoys life. I appreciate your thoughtful review and hope you continue to enjoy the story!

Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.09.21 - 07:29AM Title: Chapter 8 Decisions


To be honest, I'm still not sure what to make of a relationship between Charlie and Anna. Don't get me wrong, I really wouldn't mind. It's certainly much more agreeable than Anna's other options. OK, I'm not sure about Ernie because I don't know that much about him. Age difference aside, I'll be quite curious, however, what Anna will do when she has to choose between Macmillan manor and the hut of a dragon keeper. She is accustomed to a certain prosperity, isn't she? That is, if she'll be included in the decision at all.

Thank you so much for another fine update!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review and your honest reaction! For obvious reasons I won't say too much, but Anna is not completely powerless, nor is she without financial resources. Hope you continue to enjoy the story!

Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.09.18 - 03:03PM Title: Chapter 8 Decisions


As Slughorn would say, OH HO HO! Great chapter! And the plot thickeneth! Glad to see Charlie acting so quickly after Bill gave him the 411 on Anna! Hope he isn't too late! The bit between Lucius and Narcissa triggered my gag reflex! Nice to see Dumbledore and Snape on the same page about Umbitch! Hope Charlie beats Dorko to the punch! And a punch just might be what comes Dorko's way if he trys to romance Anna! Only question is wi1l it come from Neville, Charlie or Anna herself? Can hardley wait for the next chapter to see if Charlie gets to his love in time and to hopefully see Dorko get slapped silly!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review! You have a talent for always making me laugh. Sorry about triggering the gag reflex. I quite understand that reaction when it comes to the Malfoys. Charlie certainly won't be wasting time, although smooth sailing ahead is not a typical occurrence in the world of Harry Potter. As for Dorko, well I'll leave that to your marvelous imagination for now!

Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2017.09.17 - 03:03AM Title: Chapter 8 Decisions


I absolutely love this story! I love how you're weaving your own story into JKR's. I'm intrigued about Anna and Charlie. I know you've hinted at it, and I look forward to seeing the reaction to his betrothal contract (next chapter?)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! You will definitely see more about betrothal contracts soon, as well as other developments. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

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