Reviews For Darkness Within II
Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2018.01.06 - 10:45AM Title: Chapter 15 Horcruxes
Interesting incremental chapter!
Without feeling the need to read too much into my comments, I hope you don't mind if I ramble a bit, since I'm always interested in how different people craft plots.
In literature there are scads of examples of great prose writing that is wrapped around a weak plot, or a great plot that is diminished by bland writing. Of course, we all aspire to have a cool plot, and compose it compellingly, but the grand slam combination is quite rare.
Which brings us to the unenviable problem of Horcruxes -- a nasty contrivance that my suspicious nature attributes as an insurance policy by Jo Rowling that nobody would ever produce a great AU retelling of the HP saga. I'm sure not everyone would agree, but I always thought that JKR produced her greatest plots earlier in the series, only to have the storylines become more 'forced' later on as she sought to bring the series to a plausible conclusion. Fortunately, her wordsmithing continued to mature with every new novel, so the vast majority of a huge audience went along semi-happily, despite the increasingly contrived circumstances. Worst of all contrivances was the laundry-list-like procession through Horcruxes -- a literary slog that is only made better because she wrote it well, and because it's difficult to find any fanfic retellings that are any more compelling. And now you (like so many of us before) are clambering up this jagged ridge. I wish you well!
Fortunately, the Horcrux plot line can exist as a secondary thread behind a strong primary tale -- the complex trajectory you've painstakingly crafted for Anna; a very unique and compelling subject. In the end, the latter will likely be what I prize about this story, but I will nonetheless watch with curiosity to see how you handle the Bete Noire that Rowling bequeathed to us :)
Author's Response: Reading this really made me smile! I recently enjoyed a conversation with a fellow Harry Potter fan about what we loved about the books and what we found frustrating. Personally, I have always loved the characters JKR created and the magical world generally. Starting with book 5, I had difficulty reconciling certain events (The blood wards at Privet Drive holding after Harry's blood was used to resurrect Voldemort. Dumbledore's extreme and sudden fall from grace at the Ministry and with the public. Sirius being trapped at Grimmauld Place. The constant lack of information throughout the school year.) I could of course go on. It is always interesting to learn the likes and dislikes of others! With regard to Horcruxes, they will be involved in this story, but will probably not feel of paramount importance. Anyways, thank you so much for reviewing and sharing your thoughts!
Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2017.11.15 - 12:55PM Title: Chapter 15 Horcruxes
Dumbledore is sharing now? That's quite a change! I'm not sure it makes up for not having Kreacher's head on the wall but it's interesting anyway.
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.11.13 - 09:35AM Title: Chapter 15 Horcruxes
Wow, itís a nice bonus to find two chapters instead of one when returning from holidays....maybe I should go on holidays more often.
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.11.06 - 02:28PM Title: Chapter 15 Horcruxes
Holy bodycast Batman! Good thing for Dorko that shot glass in Charlie's hand wasn't Dorko's neck! Charlie seems a bit peeved! Would be fun to see you make Dorko's unfortunate accident actually occur(hint hint)! So the horcruxes make their evil appearance - really like that Sirius and Remus know about them in your story! Considering that Sirius knows what the Dursleys did to Harry, they'll be lucky if a couple of muggle heads don't end up along side the elf heads at Grimmauld - wouldn't Mrs Black's picture and Kreacher love that! Glad Neville is protective of Anna about the betrothals but she seems to be in a quandry - wonder if she knows more about her Grandma's betrothal then she has let on?! Really looking forward to the next chapter! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.11.05 - 08:43AM Title: Chapter 15 Horcruxes
Will we expand on Anna's parents or not?