Reviews For Darkness Within II
Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2018.02.10 - 10:07AM Title: Chapter 22 Conversations
I didn't think to mention it when reviewing the previous chapter, but I have enjoyed your benignly devious Dumbledore. It also hit a bit close to home, the implication that his actions are dictated by goals that he has for a fixed and rather short remaining life span. At a certain point my grandfather acted comparably -- being fairly certain that he had only a defined amount of time left, and that a portion of that time would be blessed with the energy to still accomplish what he deemed necessary. I am not certain that what I'm going to relate is real or pleasantly apocryphal, but the minister who would soon preside over the funeral said that my grandfather's last words to him were, "I have done what I must. That's all there is."
Anyway, back to your story, these have been fine chapter for this and other reasons.
One minor point stylistically is that I noted a couple of paragraphs where you went a little too long in identifying the speaker. In particular, I was thinking of those beginning with:
'He stifled a scoff.'
and 'Albus is a brilliant wizard.'
The reason I bring that up is because there can be a little distraction in reading something where one doesn't know which internal voice to assign to a statement. A minor point.
Anyway, a great bit of work you have here!
Author's Response: I truly appreciate your kind words! Albus is a difficult character to write, in large part because I have mixed feelings about him. I suspect living in relative health while knowing you are dying is both positive and frustrating. Hopefully being reminded of your grandfather was comforting. His words to the minister sounded very much like something my own grandfather would have said. He was a tough man in many ways (retired as a US naval captain, having served in multiple wars beginning in WWII) but I admired and respected him greatly (he passed away in Nov of 2008). Thank you for the writing tips! I will go back and see how I can clarify those paragraphs a bit.
Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2017.12.31 - 04:21AM Title: Chapter 22 Conversations
Sincerest apologies again for forgetting to review the last few chapters.
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.12.26 - 01:16PM Title: Chapter 22 Conversations
Seems Dumbledore knows more about the bonds or even Annas past than he reveals. I wonder if and when Anna will tell Charlie the complete truth about her past. I didn't get the impression that Charlie understood the full meaning of Anna's revelation.
Reviewer: HP18 Signed Date: 2017.12.25 - 05:49PM Title: Chapter 22 Conversations
Love this. Great Christmas present. And Anna is potentially Tom Riddles' granddaughter. Wow. Merry Christmas
Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2017.12.24 - 09:25PM Title: Chapter 22 Conversations
For a moment there I thought Anna was about to tell the who instead of just the how.
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.12.24 - 07:59PM Title: Chapter 22 Conversations
Albus Dumbledore has always been a bit of a sneak and he certainly has something up his sleeve besides his arm where Charlie and Anna are concerned! Glad Charlie will be at Hogwarts to keep an eye on his Anna - I don't trust the Malfools at all! Can't help but wonder if Dumbledore's interest in the bonds has something to do with Harry's 'power he knows not' being a bond with Ginny?! Nice that Anna confided in Charlie about her abilities - and he handled it well! Wonder what shade of red Ginny's blush was when Molly gave her another round of 'the talk'! I am writing this on Christmas Eve in the states and this was a perfect early gift! May you have a blessed and Merry Christmas!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D