Reviews For Darkness Within II
Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2018.03.03 - 08:03PM Title: Chapter 25 The Headmaster's Office
And now the depths of your premeditation begin to be revealed! I find it actually quite rare in reading fanfic stories to find much by the way of minor details early on attain key significance later, but I find it very cool whenever I do encounter it. Very clever!
I also enjoyed the number play in this chapter, that begins to add significance to details of the Prophesy that were, canonically, seemingly just filler.
My one minor quibble was that it took my sodden brain a little longer than necessary to pin down the speaker of the "I wondered how she managed to overwhelm Draco..." line. There are times when dialogue attributives get a little tedious, but with four people participating in a conversation, it's often best to be pretty regular with them.
Anyway, a fine chapter, with heightening drama!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! What a lovely compliment! Mapping out this story before I began writing it has allowed me to drop small (and occasionally big) hints about future events. What I failed to realize was how long it would take to go from point A to point B, and that every two or three phrases of the outline would require thousands of words and many hours of writing and editing. Lesson learned (far too late, but still)! I'll go back and check the dialogue tags in this chapter. I greatly appreciate your review!
Reviewer: alterdream Signed Date: 2018.01.15 - 09:54PM Title: Chapter 25 The Headmaster's Office
That was a lot of information in one chapter! Looks like Anna's secret might not stay one for much longer. Keep it up, you're doing well with this :)
Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2018.01.15 - 09:22AM Title: Chapter 25 The Headmaster's Office
Well this was an interesting yet frightening chapter! Looks like Moldyshorts may have figured out Anna may be his granddaughter! Doesn't bode well for her so good thing he apparently doesn't know about her bond with Charlie! I think they are on the right track about Harry bonding with Ginny, but I am among those that believe it would certainly make sense that they began to bond when he saved her from the chamber but didn't manifest itself until later! Would be interesting if the "power he knows not" iinvolves more than one love bond! Can't wait to see what comes next! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2018.01.15 - 06:41AM Title: Chapter 25 The Headmaster's Office
Ah, Charlie is able to control dragons. That's another detail you insinuated in an earlier chapter, a detail I noticed but somehow decided to ignore. I can't fend off the suspicion that you're occasionally putting a repelling charm on these details. ;-)