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SIYE Time:2:21 on 16th December 2017


Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2017.11.24 - 11:17PM Title: Chapter 10 Bridge Over Troubled Water

Strong start, strong ending.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I struggled with the way to end, and I think I could manage to. :)



Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed Date: 2017.11.24 - 10:35PM Title: Chapter 8 Torn Pages and a Lie

Ah man, is time travel about to be introduced into this....

Author's Response: Yeah, but I swear that I thought of the plot before The Cursed Child was published. :D



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2017.11.12 - 06:48PM Title: Chapter 7 Crack

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If Harry thought these eggs were important to his investigation, wouldn't he have the proper authorization to examine the eggs? They had to wait until the next day to look at the eggs? I'm sure they could have just sent a message to Kingsley and received permission. I realize it was to give MacNeil the time to do whatever he did, but it didn't really flow. Harry doesn't seem like this is an urgent investigation - going to parties, visiting people unofficially. I didn't get the whole 'come back from the Veil'. Is that a euphemism for dying?

Author's Response: Yeah, I meant coming back from the Veil was an euphemism for Harry's survival from the Killing Curse the second time. As Dumbledore took Voldemort's Horcrux things seriously, Slughorn tried to hide the fact he told Tom Riddle about the way to make Horcruxes, I think they must have been confidential. And I think even Kingsley can't access to the Department of Mysteries so easily, which I got impression when I read the scene at the Department of Mysteries of J.K.Rowling's book. When I have time, I might be back to add more explanations. Thank you for telling me these possible plot holes. :)



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2017.11.12 - 06:37PM Title: Chapter 6 The Secret of Kappa's Egg

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Its very sad that Xavier and Newt's relationship had strained to such a point that Xavier would be so disrespectful to his father. He basically turned his father in to the Ministry - not even Percy did that. I was surprised that Harry learns that Malfoy is going to Japan and decides to go to a Halloween party. It didn't make a lot of sense. He's an Auror, he can visit and question people without a pretext.

Author's Response: I struggled with thinking of the plot. Sometimes the bad relationship between a son and a father will end in the serious problem. Harry is not perfect. He has made mistakes. Especially the things at Hogwarts, he couldn't recognize the things sooner compared with life outside. And I just wanted to let the children have a chance to solve the problem. :)



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.11.12 - 11:42AM Title: Chapter 10 Bridge Over Troubled Water

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A very good chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reading this. : )



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.11.12 - 08:36AM Title: Chapter 10 Bridge Over Troubled Water

Very nice ending...kutgw

Author's Response: Thank you for reading to the end and dropping your thought.



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.11.12 - 07:12AM Title: Chapter 8 Torn Pages and a Lie

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The paragraph spacing is very annoying.

Author's Response: I tried fixing spacing.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.11.11 - 05:39PM Title: Chapter 9 Second Victim

MacNeil is about to see harry in a whole new light I think...kutgw

Author's Response: MacNeil is a villain. He will see what has been waiting soon.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.11.11 - 03:04PM Title: Chapter 8 Torn Pages and a Lie

Now Draco is going to see what happens when you use harry instead of abouse harry....kutgw

Author's Response: Draco will find a thing better if he listens to the other.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.11.10 - 08:11AM Title: Chapter 7 Crack

Ah Draco has a soul after all....kutgw

Author's Response: Thank you for reading to the end. More Harry coming next.



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2017.11.05 - 03:51PM Title: Chapter 3 The First Victim

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If Albus does complain to his father, I hope Harry ignores him. Al is just like Malfoy was years ago - 'Wait until my father hears about this.' That being said, Minerva should reprimand Malfoy for his behavior. Again, no one to root for in this story - make someone likeable. Draco is horrible so who really cares if he's killed or loses everything.
Some of the phrases you use need some reworking 'his duties had completely been diligent and unsuspicious'. That is very awkwardly worded and doesn't make a lot of sense. I think you are trying to say that he is an ordinary, hard working person, but not sure. 'Putting on the dog' not a clue what that is supposed to mean.

Author's Response: Thank you again for advice. I edited some with your kind suggestions. Talking of the characterization of Albus, I think a son of Potter does mistakes, too. He is also a boy who needs to learn how to do the right things and gets to know respecting the others at school. I think his grandfather James Potter did mistakes in his younger days, too. Given the hard circumstances, Harry had not been like that, he was destined to be a hero from the start. And I would like to give a chance to Malfoys even they are losers of the previous war.



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.11.05 - 08:23AM Title: Chapter 6 The Secret of Kappa's Egg

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It is an interesting story, but the Malfoys cannot seem to decide who's side they are on. Keep going.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading this. Yeah, Malfoy has been wondering which side he should follow.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.11.05 - 08:15AM Title: Chapter 6 The Secret of Kappa's Egg

Ah the sound of defeat before even trying out...nit a good way to go through life....kutgw

Author's Response: Yeah, Scorp hasn't had confidence in anything.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.11.05 - 05:24AM Title: Chapter 5 Flight Before Halloween

Ah Malfoy you maybe smart but sometimes you need a hand and hiding something is never the way to go.....kutgw

Author's Response: Thank you for stopping by. :) Malfoy can't be a good person and can't be a strong villain, either. He has so weak spirit.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.11.04 - 08:41PM Title: Chapter 4 Freshwater Plimpies

Malfoy if he was smart he listened to Luna and make it work in the long run....kutgw

Author's Response: Hi, thank you again. It was a bit challenge for me to write the other characters than Harry and Ginny. I'm glad if you felt I could create Luna-ish mood In this chapter.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.11.01 - 06:19AM Title: Chapter 3 The First Victim

Al everyone is learning at the moment but Albus still has Ginny temper to contend with....kutgw

Author's Response: Hi, thank you for stopping by. :)  Yeah, Al has definitely has Ginny's temper and her ability in writing an essay (her career as a sports writer).



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.10.31 - 04:48PM Title: Chapter 4 Freshwater Plimpies

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I have not made my mind up yet about this story. I cannot feel any sympathy with the characters. Do we know what use the eggs will be?

Author's Response: Eight more chapters coming soon. I will find time to post the rest. I hope you will enjoy solving all mysteries.



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2017.10.29 - 09:15PM Title: Chapter 2

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There really aren't any sympathetic characters in this story. Draco and Scorpius are bullies. Al is whiny - 'If Malfoy wouldn't evaluate students fairly, he was prepared to consult his father.' What? He has a headmistress as well as a head of house to go to before going to his father. 'My father will never allow him to have a prejudice against me.' I don't know exactly what he is trying to say. I'm guessing Al is saying his father won't allow Draco to be biased against him? That is an offense worth going to Azkaban? He didn't go for being a Death Eater, I don't think he'll be sent to Azkaban for being a horrid, petty, biased teacher - after all, Snape wasn't.

Author's Response: Hmm, I just wanted to give them the different roles, if I followed the rule, typical Draco or Scorp, readers could guess easily what will happen next. I try to avoid the typical style everyone writes here and there. I respect your opinions though. : ) Thank you for stopping by.



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2017.10.29 - 08:57PM Title: Chapter 1

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Malfoy is even worse than Snape. Why would he get away with it? Snape did because he was a spy - Malfoy is a marked Death Eater, he shouldn't be allowed in a position of power. The story is interesting, but you introduced a lot in Albus' essay. A bit more explanation would be helpful - I'm guessing this is based on some other myths or stories? I had to look up the places you mentioned and the tengu - never heard of any of them . Even if it is in your author's note, it would be nice to provide some context for the story. Not everyone will be familiar with both as you obviously are.

Author's Response: Talking of Tengu, you will see more later. Mostly, my original idea. For characterization of Malfoy or Scorpius or Albus, just my first experience at Next Gen. I just wanted to give the different role to Draco Malfoy. So you may feel quite different from the other Draimone or Draco centric stories.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.10.15 - 12:40PM Title: Chapter 2

Nice to see the kids are playing so well!!!!!!sometimes rose is smarter then her mother and is using some of the brains from her father as well isnít he planing of the future....kutgw

Author's Response: More chapters coming. I hope readers on this site will enjoy my story from here.




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