Search:

SIYE Time:19:29 on 19th November 2017


Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2017.11.02 - 01:10AM Title: The Enemy strikes when least expected

starstarstarstar


This story has a good plot and there are places that can be expanded to enhance certain parts of this story.
But, the grammar needs to be looked at. This is the main problem. Maybe have a beta to help correct these problems.



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2017.10.22 - 01:28AM Title: The Enemy strikes when least expected

starstarstar

I like the idea of the story, but the grammar is awful. It is difficult to read at times because of the poor grammar and switching tenses. You missed a great opportunity to show us the African adventure. Instead you simply told us about it, instead of letting us see it from Harry's or Ginny's pov. I'm guessing the kid they keep talking about it Teddy and Andromeda was the one injured. Why do they keep calling him 'the kid'? It makes him seem less important.



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.10.17 - 06:18PM Title: The Enemy strikes when least expected

starstarstarstarhalf-star

This looks like it could be a great, all action story. But... the grammar is terrible. Are you a native English speaker. If so take away five points, otherwise take five points for effort. You keep changing tense, past, present, and it makes for an odd read. Please accept this as constructive criticism and keep it coming.



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2017.10.17 - 03:52PM Title: The Enemy strikes when least expected

starstarstarstarstar

As Slughorn would say, OH HO HO! This one is off to a roaring start! I have a bad feeling the victim is Teddy! I would hate to be the perps on this because they are going to have a seriously PO'd Harry and Ginny to deal with on top of the other Weasleys! Can't wait to see where you take this! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D




../back
! Go To Top !

Sink Into Your Eyes is hosted by Computer Partners. HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related characters are trademarks of Warner Bros. TM & 2001-2006. Harry Potter Publishing Rights J.K.R. Note the opinions on this site are those made by the owners. All stories(fanfiction) are owned by the author and are subject to copyright law under transformative use. Authors on this site take no compensation for their works. This site 2003-2006 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Special thanks to: Aredhel, Kaz, Michelle, and Jeco for all the hard work on SIYE 1.0 and to Marta for the wonderful artwork.
Featured Artwork 2003-2006 by Yethro.
Design and code 2006 by SteveD3(AdminQ)
Additional coding 2008 by melkior and Bear