What, Exactly, Did Ron Say? by pleurocoelus
Summary: When Harry sees his brother-in-law Ron make a new DMLE employee blush, he has to investigate. Heavily implied Ron/Hermione
Categories: Alternate Universe
What, Exactly, Did Ron Say? by pleurocoelus
Chapter 1: What, Exactly, Did Ron Say?Author's Notes:
Hermione Granger sat in the Ministry of Magic's cafeteria shaking her head.
"Excuse me," said a voice, cutting through her reverie. "May I join you?"
Hermione lifted her head to see a man with black hair and glasses, Auror Harry Potter. Since joining the Department of Magical Law Enforcement last month, she had seen him around a few times.
"Harry Potter," he said, offering his hand.
"Hermione Granger," she said, shaking the proffered hand. "I've seen you around the office. I mean, I wanted to thank you for defeating him. You-Know-Who, I mean."
"Yes, I do know who," said Harry with a smile, "and you are welcome. I just wanted to check on you and make sure you were all right. Ron has been acting weird today. Then I saw him talking to you before he suddenly dashed off. I just wanted to make sure my brother-in-law didn't do or say anything stupid."
"Brother-in-law?" Hermione said, blushing. "I'd hate to think a married man was acting like that."
"No," Harry said with a laugh, "Ron's not married. I am, to his sister: Ginny Potter of the Holyhead Harpies."
"Oh -- oh," said Hermione with a stammer. "I'm sorry, I don't follow Quidditch. I do know who the Harpies are, since they are an all-female team in a rough sport like Quidditch, I'm rather glad to see how well they keep up with, and quite often surpass, the boys."
Harry smiled. "Yes, I'd agree, but I am biased. So, if I may ask, what was Ron doing that had you so flustered?"
Hermione blushed again. "Just a bit of clumsy flirtation. Then he declared his urgent need for the loo and ran off."
"I see," said Harry, raising an eyebrow. "Do you want to file a complaint?"
"That's not necessary. I wasn't offended."
"I don’t remember seeing you at Hogwarts," Harry said after a moment of awkward silence. "I don't think I knew everybody who was there when I was, but I usually recognize most of them."
"No, I went to Beauxbatons," Hermione said. “I was invited to Hogwarts. Professor McGonagall visited me, but I was in love with France at the time. As soon as she mentioned there was a magical school there, I never looked back. After the Triwizard tournament and You-Know-Who returned, my parents moved us to France full time."
"I'm sorry,” Hermione said uncomfortably. “You and everyone else fought and suffered. We just ran away to France, but my parents are Muggles and they didn't know what else to do."
"It's fine," Harry said sympathetically. "As you said, your parents are Muggles. Unless they were ninja assassins or something similar I doubt they would have stood a chance against a Death Eater."
"No, they were both in the RAF -- that's how they met -- but no ninja training. How do you know about ninjas, anyway? Aren't martial arts a Muggle thing?"
"I was raised Muggle before Hogwarts," Harry said, with a slight hint of sadness to his voice. "Besides, there are ninjas in the Magical world, too. I've had a chance to meet with some of Japan's Auror force. Some of their Aurors do have ninja training. Beyond that, many more are trained in one or more of the other martial arts.
"Most European Aurors aren't trained in any of the martial arts, with very few exceptions. The Americas do have some. Brazil's Auror force is very well regarded among the martial arts community. The U.S. has wizards in their military and law enforcement agencies who are cross-trained in a variety of weapons and fighting styles as well."
Hermione's reply was interrupted by the arrival of a woman with bright red hair.
"Harry," she said, "is this the woman Ron was talking to?"
"Yes," Harry said, after he kissed the woman. "Ginny, this is Hermione Granger from the DMLE. Hermione, this is Ginny Potter, star Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies and absolute centre of my world."
"Flattery will get you everywhere, Potter," Ginny said with a laugh. "It's good to meet you, Hermione."
Ginny offered her hand to Hermione, who shook it.
"Likewise," Hermione said with a smile. "I'm sorry I don't follow Quidditch, but I'm glad to see you give the boys a run for their money."
"Happy to oblige," said Ginny. "I hope my brother wasn't bothering you too much."
"No, he wasn't," Hermione said with a slight blush.
Ginny looked over at her husband.
"Yes," Harry said, "Apparently, Ron was engaging in some 'clumsy flirtation' with Hermione."
"I mean," said Hermione, "I know it's completely ridiculous, but..."
"No," Ginny said, "that doesn't sound like Ron at all. Clumsy, yes, but never flirtatious."
"What do you mean?" said Hermione, a confused expression on her face.
Ginny smiled. "Ron is my brother and I love him, but Ron puts his foot in his mouth on a regular basis. He's blunt to a fault and often speaks before he fully thinks. Of course, he's a lot better than he was. He grew up a lot during the war.
"Flirtation, on the other hand..." Ginny said, trailing off dramatically. "Ron has always been clumsy in the romance department. Most girls don't like his, shall we say forthright, nature. Ron also tends to have his brain freeze when he's trying to compliment a woman. He's been on several first dates, but only a couple of seconds. There were no thirds. He did have one 'girlfriend' in school, Lavender Brown. She just viewed him as a paper doll to dress up and show off, though, so he ended that pretty quickly."
"I see," said Hermione. "In any case, he didn't do such a bad job, considering what you just told me."
"If you don’t mind," said Ginny, "I'd like to know what he said.
"Oh," said Hermione, "I don't mind. He was just saying that he'd seen me around the DMLE and he had noticed that I was smart. He said that he thought I was pretty and he wondered how someone this smart could be so, and I quote: 'bloody gorgeous.' After that, he told me that he had a desperate need to use the loo and dashed off.
"You mentioned that he doesn't normally act like that. I did think his behaviour was a little strange. Was he drunk?"
"No," said Ginny with a sigh, "he wasn't drunk. You see, Fred and George, two of my other brothers, I have six by the way, own a joke shop. It seems that Fred had given Ron an experimental potion they're developing."
"I see," said Hermione. "Wait, would that be Fred and George Weasley? Your brothers own Weasley's Wizard Wheezes?"
"Yes," said Ginny, "that's them."
"Some of their work is quite impressive," said Hermione. "I mean, it is rather a frivolous purpose, but some of their inventions that I've seen are ingenious."
"I'll be sure to tell them," Harry said. "We do use some of their products in the Auror department. They make a special line just for us and they did make some specialty products for our side in the war."
"That's fascinating," said Hermione. "Ginny, did your brother Fred mention what kind of potion he had given Ron?"
"Yes, he did," said Ginny with a smile. "It was a combination effect: a moderate boldness effect combined with a truth potion. It seems that Ron actually does find you, and I quote: 'bloody gorgeous.'"
And once again, I end a story with a whammy. It’s becoming a habit for me.
I have no plans to write any more on this one, but if someone wants to write a sequel, just let me know.
My Hermione tends to ramble a bit, especially when she's flustered. She does know that Harry doesn't have siblings, but she's a bit flustered by Ron's flirting. Also, I wondered if anyone caught that she was a bit self-deprecating when faced with the fact that Ron thought her attractive.
Okay, I couldn't kill Fred. I don’t apologise for that one bit.
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