I Wouldn't Change a Thing by sanidad



Summary: Three short glimpses into the life of the Potters as they raise the family that we see in the Epilogue. Compatible with canon. A pseudo-sequel to my other fanfic, “It’s About Time.”
Rating: G starstarstarstarstar
Categories: Post-DH/AB
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: Three Moments
Published: 2008.04.09
Updated: 2008.04.10


Index

Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Chapter 3: Chapter 3


Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Author's Notes: My sincere thanks to GinnyGuerra and EnchantedGurls for beta reading this fanfic. I’m very grateful for their time and input.


From numerous late night study sessions at Hogwarts, to guard duty during the Horcrux hunt, to the night he had finally defeated Tom Riddle, Harry Potter could not recall ever feeling as tired as he did at this exact moment. Little James was nearly four months old and was still not sleeping through the night. Molly Weasley gave him and Ginny constant reassurances that it would only be a matter of time before he did so, but Harry could not remember a time when James had ever slept more than six hours in one go, much less ten or twelve. Tonight, he could not even make it past three hours before he woke up again, crying for sustenance. Having dealt with him three times already, poor Ginny was now getting some much deserved rest behind a Silencing Charm.

Because of his experiences with all-night stakeouts and early morning raids during his time in the field as an Auror, he and Ginny had decided early on that he would be the one to get up with James between midnight and breakfast. The rationale was that Harry would be better suited to trying to stay awake during the late hours and would not suffer as much. They were wrong. Very wrong.

To make matters worse, James hated taking milk from a bottle. But Harry suffered through it as best as he could for his wife’s sake as well as for his son. Tonight’s battle was as bad as the first time James had been given a bottle. It had taken nearly an hour for him to succumb to his hunger and accept the milk being offered to him, and now Harry could not even sigh in relief, lest he disturb the sleep that had finally claimed the youngest Potter.

Harry wanted nothing more than to down the entire dose of Sleeping Potion on his nightstand and lose consciousness for the next eight hours, but he was not the type of man to shirk his duties – especially because his wife would have his bits on a platter if he did. He hoped he would at least be able to get a couple hours of sleep tonight. Unfortunately, even with that bit of rest he was probably going to have to leave the office a little early and have Ron cover his duties for the last two hours of the day or so.

As Harry gazed back down at the brown haired babe in his arms, he was surprised at how easily a smile could still form on his lips after everything James had put them through this evening. He wondered if this was how his father felt, holding him when he was a baby, but that was just one of hundreds of questions he would never get to ask his son’s namesake. He could always reminisce with Arthur, his father-in-law, or even Bill, the oldest of his brothers-in-law, but it just would not be the same. Maybe if Sirius were still – no, it was better not to finish that thought. He was tired enough already. There was no point in being tired and depressed. Trying to cheer himself up, he thought back to the day they brought James home from the hospital....

*****


It had been a whirlwind of a day. Despite protestations of the baby’s health, it seemed that the Healers at St. Mungo’s always had one more test to run before they would allow the Potters to bring their son home. Harry was getting very annoyed, and Ginny took it upon herself to find a way to distract him before he did something he would regret.

“All right, luv?”

Harry scowled. “I just don’t understand why we’re still here. They keep saying James is healthy and that we’ll be able to take him home soon, but it seems like Healer Wiggins keeps coming up with something else to check.”

“Relax, dear. My mum says everything they’re doing is what you Aurors would call ‘standard procedure.’ Get it?”

“I guess...I just get the feeling there’s something they’re not telling us.”

“Harry, it’s not like that at all. They’re just being extra thorough. How would it sound if the son of Harry Potter was sent home with some ailment that they failed to diagnose?”

Harry sighed. “I guess you’re right. I just want to get away from all this so we can start being a family.”

Ginny smiled warmly at the man she loved. “We don’t have to wait until we get home for that. Why don’t I get him from my mum so you can hold him a bit?”

“Are you sure she’ll give him up?”

“Just leave it to me.”

She returned a couple minutes later and placed their son into Harry’s arms. He immediately perked up and Ginny knew she had done the right thing. Moments later, however, his face fell again. Luckily, Ginny was the only one to notice her husband’s sudden mood change.

“Is something wrong, luv?” she asked with a confused look on her face.

“I was just thinking...it’s already started.”

“What has?”

“Growing up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at him. He’s so perfect right now with those curious eyes and that soft hair and those round cheeks...but he’ll never be this small again. It’s only a matter of time...I’ll blink one day and in his place will be a young man eager to run onto the Hogwarts Express to share a compartment with his mates.”

Ginny finally caught on and tried to soothe his concerns. “Don’t think about that now. Hogwarts is still years away – no need to rush into that any faster than we have to.”

Harry nodded weakly. “Sorry. I guess I’ve just gotten used to losing the ones I love.”

Ginny wrapped her arms around the two most important men in her life and said, “We’re not going anywhere, luv. You were the one who gave us a safe world to raise our family in. Don’t waste it by dwelling too much on the past and forgetting to enjoy today.”

He knew his wife was right, but it was still difficult to let go of those thoughts. Even after all this time he sometimes felt as if he was about to wake up from a dream and find himself back in the cupboard under the stairs at number four Privet Drive. He did not notice that Ginny had moved her hands from his shoulders before it was too late.

“Ow!” cried Harry as he moved a hand to the throbbing spot on the back of his head. “What was that for?”

“I know what you’re thinking about, Potter. Now mind your wife and enjoy what you’ve got before I hex you.”

The message finally began to sink in and Harry gave his wife a tentative smile. “Yes, dear.”

*****


It was in times like these that Harry truly cherished what Ginny did for him that day. Being a father was difficult and would continue to be so, but it was still the best thing that had ever happened to him. He had to remember to appreciate it – even savor it – while he had the chance.

Harry gently placed his son into the crib, fairly confident that he was finally sleeping soundly enough to be put down. Ironically, as soon as he placed him down on the soft mattress, Harry felt a sudden urge to scoop him back up and cradle him for the rest of the night. He was not sure if it was because he adored his son so much or because he was going mad from lack of sleep, but he resisted the impulse all the same.

He modified the silencing charm so that it would only affect Ginny and returned to his spot in bed next to her. He paused to look at her peaceful countenance and thought to himself that there was truly no way he could ever repay her for everything that she had given him. From her unwavering support during the darkest times of their adolescence to her continued support of his dangerous career, Ginny had never let him down. And now, she had given him a son – one who still had to discover the benefits of a long, deep sleep – but a wonderful product of their love all the same. As Harry finally lost consciousness, one last thought captured how he felt about the life he had earned, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

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Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Author's Notes: My sincere thanks to GinnyGuerra and EnchantedGurls for beta reading this fanfic. I’m very grateful for their time and input.


Harry Potter was shocked. He took off his glasses and rubbed the heels of his palms against his eyes to make sure nothing was playing with his vision. When he put his glasses back on, the scene had not changed. Except for some magical photographs of his wife and sons, his desk was clean. There were no inter-office memos floating overhead vying for his attention. Every scrap of paperwork he had been putting off for the past month was gone. From filling out personnel evaluations to browsing rsums for potential Auror candidates to reading over surveillance reports – he literally had nothing to do at the moment.

He chanced a quick look at his watch. Half past four. Close enough. No one would mind if the Boy-Who-Lived got an early start to his weekend. Merlin knows he stayed late far more often than he ever left early. Maybe he would even have a chance to get some flowers for Ginny on the way home. He had not done anything like that in ages and it was one of the few things he could do that still surprised her.

As he made his way to Ron’s cubicle, he was not surprised to find his best mate sitting precariously on his chair with his feet up on his desk as he folded a piece of paper into the shape of an airplane.

“Finally got that report done for me?” asked Harry as he nodded in the direction of the recently created aircraft.

“What report?” said Ron as he threw the airplane out of his cube.

Harry’s eyes followed the trajectory of the little plane and watched it float across the room and hit Gregory Osbourne, the newest addition to the Auror corps, in the temple before joining dozens of its brethren on the floor around his feet.

“Oi! Who’s doing that?”

“Poor midget,” Ron whispered conspiratorially.

Harry smiled as he said, “Nice to know you’re being so productive.”

“Oh c’mon, mate. Even you have to admit that things have been pretty slow lately.”

Harry shrugged his shoulders as he said, “Yeah, so?”

“So...I’m thinking maybe it’s time to retire from the Aurors. You really don’t need me to watch your back anymore and it’s not like I need the income, what with both of the shops doing so well.”

Harry did not know how to react. On the one hand, Ron was correct on both points. But the thought of not being able to see his best friend everyday was more than a little disconcerting.

Taking Harry’s silence as a sign of disapproval, Ron said, “We could still meet up for lunch in Diagon Alley a couple times a week – and, it’s not like I couldn’t come back if you really needed me, you know.”

Harry shrugged his shoulders in resignation. “You’re right...you’re right.... I’ll get in touch with Kingsley on Monday and see what kind of paperwork needs to be filled out.”

“Great!” said Ron as he sat up in his chair. “Was there something else you wanted to see me about?”

“Just wanted to let you know I was leaving a little early.”

“Finally got those personnel evaluations done then?”

Harry nodded again and said, “Yeah, I can’t believe it’s finally over – for the next six months, anyway.”

As Ron stood up he said, “Well, if the Assistant Department Head is leaving early....”

“Hey, I finished all of my work. What about you?”

“Right. Just one more thing...,” said Ron as he took a glowing blue ball out of his pocket and hurled it into Osbourne’s cube.

“Aaaugh!”

When it landed on the poor man’s desk, the blue sphere immediately exploded into a swirling pattern of blue light, with the tip of each swirl turning into a glowing doxy made of light. The sparkling doxies proceeded to flit about Osbourne’s head, their venomless bites causing stinging little burns.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!”

“Constant vigilance, Osbourne!” Ron called out as laughter filled the room.

As Harry led Ron to the elevator he asked, “What was that thing you tossed at Osbourne?”

“George’s latest invention. Doxy Sparkler. Guaranteed to keep someone busy for five minutes.”

“Any chance we can outfit the Auror corps with some of those?”

“Of course...on the Ministry’s bill, right?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Yes, Ron.”

“Perfect. Fancy a quick drink at the Leaky?”

“Actually, I was thinking about picking up some flowers and surprising Ginny by coming home a little early.”

Ron made a coughing noise into his hand that sounded suspiciously like the word “whipped.”

Harry gave an annoyed look at this brother-in-law and said, “And I suppose cutting back on your time with the Aurors has nothing to do with Hermione asking you to spend a little more time at home?”

Ron’s face flushed immediately and Harry knew he had hit on something.

“Well...she has dropped some hints about that. But to be honest, I’ve been wanting to spend more time at home anyway. Little Rosie is so...amazing.”

Harry could not help but smile at his friend’s dreamy expression. He certainly had come a long way since their first meeting on the Hogwarts Express all those years ago. Much to her disbelief, Harry always told Ginny that he never had any doubts that her brother would be a great father; Ron always came through when it counted.

“How did you do it, Harry? How did you find the strength to stay away when James was born?”

“Well, I didn’t really, if you think about it. I took two weeks off when he was born and for the next few months after that I was always asking you to cover for me whenever I left the office a little early.”

“Oh yeah...I remember that now....”

“Don’t feel bad. Parenthood causes memory loss.”

“Really?”

“Oh sure, ask Hermione.”

Ron narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You’re not trying to get me in trouble are you?”

Harry tried to put on his most innocent look. “Who me?”

“Seriously though...I’ve been thinking a lot about something you said to me once about them never again being this small. I really don’t want to miss it.”

“I understand. You don’t have to explain it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah...you and Hermione have no idea what you’re doing and she can’t wait for you to come home each night to help her out.”

Ron snapped his head towards his best friend and stared at him. “You are not telling Hermione that you got that from me.”

Harry chuckled and said, “Don’t worry, mate. I won’t say a word. It does get better, you know.”

Ron sighed. “I hope so.”

“It will. Look at me and Ginny. After we took James home, I had no idea what I was doing and was always asking Ginny if I was doing everything the right way, even though I had spent hours doing the exact same thing for Teddy. There’s nothing wrong with asking someone for advice. You should try it sometime.”

Ron shook his head. “You know how Hermione is. If she doesn’t know something she automatically turns to one of her bloody books. I can’t understand why she’s too proud to ask Mum for help.”

“That’s where you come in. When we were still in school, she would have had no problems asking McGonagall for help if she thought she needed it. It’s up to you to convince her that either your mum or hers is as much an expert in motherhood as McGonagall is in Transfiguration.”

“Are you forgetting that Mum raised Fred and George?”

“Exactly. Any woman who had to deal with those two terrors and took down Belltarix Lestrange can handle anything.”

“I dunno, mate....”

“Look...despite what Hermione may think, very little of parenthood is truly instinctual. Personally, I’ve learned more from doing things wrong than from doing things right. And being the career woman that she is, she’s never had the chance to learn what would have normally been taught to her two hundred years ago instead of going to school.”

“I never thought of it that way.”

“I doubt she has either.”

Ron nodded his head in understanding. “Thanks, mate. It’s nice to know you’ve got my back.”

“Anytime.”

And at that, they each took their turn at the Apparition point, with Ron popping to his back garden and Harry to the florist around the corner from his home.

*****


As Harry made his way through the front foyer of their home, he smiled as he navigated the minefield of toys at his feet. Albus was only six months old, so James was the one who was mostly responsible for the mess he was wading through. The house looked nothing like the abnormally pristine house he grew up in on Privet Drive, which in Harry’s eyes meant that things were perfect.

Thinking back on his conversation with Ron, he felt a little guilty for exaggerating how comfortable he and Ginny had become with parenthood. The truth was that they still did not have all the answers and were more often than not still frustrated at trying to juggle their careers with their home life. But there was no one else he would rather have at his side to struggle through it than Ginny – and that made all the difference.

Looking up, Harry finally found a disheveled looking Ginny shuffling towards him. She appeared to be nearly in tears as he gathered her into his arms. She did not even notice the flowers he was holding out to her.

“Something wrong, Gin?”

“Harry, I didn’t get anything done today,” she said between sobs. “I never made it to the store to purchase groceries. The laundry’s still piled up on the floor. The dishes from breakfast and lunch still haven’t been put away. There are toys all over the floor of the sitting room, both of their bedrooms and the kitchen–”

“Shh...take it easy, luv. As far as I’m concerned, the house is perfect.”

“Are you blind? Look at this place. If my mum were to come over and see this–”

“Then I would tell her that the toys show visitors that this is a home where the children feel loved and not neglected.”

Ginny shook her head in disagreement. “I don’t know what made us think we could do this, Harry. They both still need so much attention – especially little Al. I’m going mental trying to keep them both happy. I once had the nerve to break into the headmaster’s office to steal the Sword of Gryffindor and now I can barely – oh, look at what I’ve done to your robes! I’m such a wreck right now!”

“Actually, you’re the most beautiful sight I’ve seen all day.”

“How can you say that? I haven’t had a chance to take care of myself at all. I’m still in my dressing gown, my hair is a mess, there are bags under my eyes because I’ve barely slept well all week and I haven’t taken a bath in three days.”

Harry merely smiled and tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear. He looked into her eyes with all the sincerity he could muster and said, “Believe me, Gin. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

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Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Author's Notes: My sincere thanks to GinnyGuerra and EnchantedGurls for beta reading this fanfic. I’m very grateful for their time and input.


Ginny sighed wistfully as she watched the Weasley and Potter children zoom about the makeshift Quidditch pitch from the window of her old bedroom at the Burrow. She wanted very much to go out and join them, but knew she needed a few minutes to cool down from her latest argument with her mother. Unfortunately, the only place she could grab some privacy at the Burrow was her old bedroom.

As much as she loved coming back to her childhood home to visit with her family, there was always something disconcerting about being in her old room. She had grown up long ago – far faster than her mother would have wanted, thanks to Tom Riddle – but everything in the room still reminded her of the girl she used to be. It was easy to see that at least part of her mother still wished that her little girl was still here, the one who always did as her mother asked – or at least appeared to do as her mother asked.

She and her mother never really rowed when she was younger. When she took the time to think about it, Ginny was surprised that their innately assertive natures did not clash more often. But she had realized early on that it was useless to take her mother on directly; it was much more effective to recruit her father to her side and use more subtle means of presenting an opposing viewpoint. When she was especially devious, she could even swing her mother to her side and make her think it was her own idea. Ginny would never know if her father was ever aware of her intricate machinations, but the current fact of the matter was that these days he was content to stand aside and let the two women settle their differences without any intervention on his part.

There was no question that Ginny liked the person she had grown up to be, and although she recognised that she owed a lot of that satisfaction to her parents, there were still some aspects of her childhood that she did not enjoy. Therefore, when Ginny and her mother did row, the center of each argument was the same topic: Lily. It was the occasional improvement that Ginny tried to implement in her daughter’s life that often led to disagreements with her mother. Deep down, she knew that no matter how hard she tried, her daughter’s childhood was not going to be perfect, but that was not going to stop her from trying her best to give her what she had once lacked.

As she cast a quick searching glance over the field where the children were playing, Ginny quickly realized that her daughter was not among them. Despite her size, Lily was normally right in the thick of things and Ginny was proud of how her daughter had learned to assert herself at an early age. It was almost unthinkable that Lily would voluntarily miss out on flying with her family. Confused, Ginny turned from the window and began to make her way outside.

*****


As Ginny bounded down the stairs to begin the search for her daughter, she was surprised to find her quarry sitting quietly in front of the fireplace, staring into the flames.

“Lily?”

Obviously startled, the little girl spun her head to face the unexpected voice and said in a soft voice, “Oh...hi, Mum.”

“What are you doing in here? I thought you were out flying with everyone else.”

The little girl shrugged her shoulders but did not say a word.

“Lil’?” Ginny said in confusion, hoping for some hint of what was wrong. But her daughter remained silent and simply turned back to the fire and drew her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around her shins.

Ginny became very concerned. She was not used to seeing her little girl so withdrawn. Whatever had caused her to suppress her normally vivacious personality had to be something important.

“Was it something the boys did?”

At least this got the younger redhead to shake her head emphatically in the negative.

“I’m sorry if I’m prying, luv, but normally you’d be out with the others enjoying yourself in this wonderful weather. It’s just not like you to be sulking by yourself. And it’s definitely not like you to be so quiet.”

“I’ve just been...thinking,” said Lily, her voice still barely above a whisper.

Ginny frowned. “Is it a boy?”

Lily’s eyes grew wide in shock. “Mum, I’m only eight!”

“Eight and half,” Ginny corrected. “Just checking...,” she continued, pleased that she was able to break the ice with such an obvious ploy.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Mum...you know it’s not that. I mean – how old were you when you fell in love with Dad?”

“Nine.”

“I meant when you knew it was for real.”

“Nine.”

“Mum!”

Ginny smirked. “Fifteen.”

“See what I mean! You know it’s not about a boy, so why tease me?”

Ginny merely arched an eyebrow and emphasized her smirk.

“All right...all right...I’m talking now...happy?”

“Yes. Quite. Now then…why are you doing your best impression of your father when he’s thinking about his old life?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean because you’ve had to drag him out of his fog just as often as I have.”

Lily sighed in resignation. “All right...it’s just...a little hard to say – you won’t get angry, will you?”

“Of course not, luv. I just want to help.”

Lily took a deep breath to gather herself and said, “Mum, why do you treat me just the same as James and Al?”

“Well, you’re one of my children, aren’t you? I love you all just the same, so why shouldn’t I treat you all the same? Don’t you want to be treated the same as them?”

Lily responded with another question. “So, you don’t wish I was a boy?”

Ginny’s jaw dropped in shock. “Oh, Merlin, of course not! Have I ever said or done anything to make you think that?”

“Well, not exactly....”

Ginny’s face fell. Although she could not, for the life of her, remember saying anything of the sort, the mere idea that she may have unintentionally led her daughter to believe something so cruel was devastating. She took a few seconds to collect herself before finding her voice. “Lily, please...what did I say to make you think that?”

Lily suddenly found the floor to be very interesting. She mumbled something that sounded like the word “nothing,” but Ginny could not be sure. Ginny knelt down so she could be eye to eye with her daughter and asked again, “Please, luv, if there’s something wrong, I’d like to fix it. Now what did I say that was so awful?”

“It wasn’t something you said, exactly...it’s just...I heard you and Gran arguing earlier today.”

It was Ginny’s turn to sigh. “Oh...that.”

It was ironic that Lily had hit upon exactly what Ginny had been pondering only a few minutes before – or perhaps it was fitting.

“I like the idea that you want to treat us all fairly, but...but I’m – I’m not really like them, Mum.”

“Have I really been that bad, Lil’?”

“To be honest, I never really noticed it before this summer. It wasn’t until I heard you and Gran talking about it one time at home – and then again earlier today – that I really began to think about it.”

Ginny nodded her head and exhaled in frustration. It appeared that her intentions to keep her little girl from feeling excluded from her siblings had backfired horribly.

“I’ve never really talked about my childhood in great detail with you, have I?”

“I dunno, Mum, you’ve told me lots...how you used to break into the broom shed...the bedtime stories Granddad used to tell you...degnoming the garden....”

“Yes, but I’ve never really talked about how I felt about being the youngest, and about being the only girl.”

Lily tilted her head as she tried to recall everything her mother had ever told her. “No, I guess not.”

“Well, there was a lot about it I didn’t like.”

“Really? I would have thought it was aces. You probably got everything you wanted...you got to learn all sorts of stuff from Gran that no one else knew...and you always got your own room.”

Ginny chuckled as she shook her head. “It wasn’t that simple. Sure, I got spoiled a little just for being the youngest, but because I was the only girl...well, I didn’t have a choice about learning how to run a household. I was always the one to help your Gran make dinner. I learned how to clean and put away the dishes younger than any of my brothers. And I had to break into the broom shed not only because I was too young, but because I was a girl.”

“Well, when you put it that way....”

“You see, Lil,’ it wasn’t so much that I had to do things differently as much as it was that my mum just assumed I wanted to be just like her.”

“But that’s just it, Mum. You’ve kind of done the same with me. Don’t get me wrong, I love flying and all of the other stuff you’ve taught us...but there are some other things I’d like to learn too.”

Ginny gave her daughter a wan smile. “I can see that now. I just wanted you to know why I’ve done what I’ve done. Are you angry with me?”

Lily’s eyes grew wide again. “What? Of course not...I just...I didn’t know how to tell you what I wanted.”

“I don’t want you to ever hide who you really are – not from anyone, especially me. If I had done that when I was younger, your father and I may never have gotten together.”

“So you like me the way I am?”

Ginny smiled – really smiled – for the first time that day. “Believe me, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

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