Memoirs of a Red Headed Witch by My Wicked Quill



Summary: Ginny Weasley was always overlooked. Always the youngest, always the smallest, and was never really given the chance to let her voice be heard. But sometimes the best insight comes from those who were always in the background. Her story of redemption, loyalty and love, proves that she was never just the Weasley brothers' little sister.
Rating: PG-13 starstarstarstarstar
Categories: Pre-OotP, Post-OotP, Post-HBP, Post-Hogwarts, Post-DH/AB
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2010.07.18
Updated: 2021.05.09


Memoirs of a Red Headed Witch by My Wicked Quill
Chapter 27: Perks of Playing Nice
Author's Notes:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Entry 16: The Perks of Playing Nice

"When you ask me, who I am:
What is my vision? And do I have a plan?
Where is my strength? Have I nothing to say?
I hear the words in my head, but I push them away.

'Cause I stand for the power to change,
I live for the perfect day.
I love till it hurts like crazy,
I hope for a hero to save me.
And I don't know
What tomorrow brings
The road less traveled
Will it set us free?
Cause we are taking it slow,
These tiny legacies..."

-I Stand, Idina Menzel

I might have figured it out. It took all of August- right past my solemn birthday- and my theory didn’t
completely solidify until I took my seat on the Hogwarts express, but I believed I’d figured it out.

There were just two possibilities.

One: Harry indeed loved me as my mother said and left in order to protect me with every intention to return to me. This would mean he didn’t speak to me after his birthday kiss because he was afraid he’s lose all his resolve, end up taking me with him and entrusting me with all his secrets, instead of keeping me safely in the dark.

Two: Harry only felt guilty after we broke up and barely spoke to me because he didn’t want me anymore. He was afraid to tell me anything in case I would find a way to sneak off with them because that was the last thing he wanted.

Both scenarios were plausible. The first because as he explained to me, when he ended it, protecting me was the reason and he just felt as though he would be insulting Dumbledore’s memory if he were to defy his wishes by telling me everything.     

But then again, if he really did mean that kiss and his feelings for me, he wouldn’t have run after Ron and proceed to ignore me. And Harry wasn’t naïve; he knew Dumbledore could trust me, he knew that Dumbledore would have wanted me with him, helping and supporting him. After all the times he told Harry that love was the key, Harry still refused to tell me anything and all I ever learned was what I heard by eavesdropping.

It was a stalemate in my mind and with Harry gone, anymore observations were impossible.

“I’m not so sure about this Arthur.”

“Molly, our best bet is to keep a normal routine; Ron is supposedly stuck at home ill, so Ginny must continue her education. We don’t want them to think the Weasley’s have dropped out of sight.”

“You sound as though we are using her as a tool!”

I rolled my eyes from my backseat in the ministry car, “Mum, dad is completely right. And besides, it’s Hogwarts. At least there will be McGonagall, and Hagrid.”

“You see dear? Listen to your daughter, she’ll be surrounded by Order members.”

“Yes, well, we all thought the school was safe when Albus Dumbledore was there, look how that turned out,” my mother mumbled under her breath.

“It turned out fine! I’m ok, none of us got hurt- well other than Dumbledore I suppose- but that’s not the point. I’m going to school mom and at this point there’s no stopping it.”

“Do not be coy with me Ginevra; you know very well all I have to do is say the word and this car will turn straight around.”

“Yes, but mum you’re not a fool.”

“I said no more lip!”

“Technically, you said don’t be coy-”

“That is enough!” snapped my father, “Molly, you needn’t be so worried and Ginny, stop disrespecting your mother.”

“Well, if you ask me, I don’t think the three of them thought this through very well. Who would ever in their right mind believe that the ghoul is actually Ron?”

“But see mum, no one did ask you.”

“And when Harry doesn’t return to school? Don’t you think that will raise a thousand more questions rather than Ginny not going back? After all, he is the Chosen One and everyone has rumored he was with Dumbledore the night he was murdered.”

My jaw dropped, “But he was mum!”

“Oh honestly, don’t you think I know that? I’m only saying that it doesn’t sound good all put together, when Snape has yet to be convicted for murder and especially when Harry will be found missing in a few days’ time.” She sighed, “What were they thinking?”

They were thinking they’d all be bloody noble and kill off Voldemort while the rest of the world ponders their fate.

“Ginny are you sure they said nothing-”

“Molly-”

“Mum we’ve been over this only a dozen times, if I did know anything, if they had told me anything at all, I wouldn’t tell you. I’m sorry.”

The first few times I had to say that to her I felt remarkably guilty. I felt so terrible, I wanted to collapse into her arms bawling and just tell her everything I knew.  Then she would march up to them, tie them down, and never let them out of our sight. No matter how much I wished that could be the case, I repeatedly put on a face of stone and denied I knew anything.

“Well then, it seems as though we’ve arrived,” Dad’s voice came from the front. Looking out my window, I watched several hundred muggles going about their day at the train station. Sometimes, I imagined how it would feel like to walk around in those awful muggle suits (is that what they are called?) holding one of those briefcases and not have to watch your every step.

Total oblivion.

After a teary goodbye with my parents, I took my window seat in an empty compartment and used that time to sort through everything. My mother was just being a worry-wart; their plan-if not reckless- was solid. It was most likely Hermione’s doing. Having our attic ghoul dressed as Ron in Ron’s room was definitely creative. That ghoul was just a free loader who never left no matter what we did, he might as well be put to use.            

 We let a story leak that Ron had succumbed to a severe case of Spattergroit and if anyone came to check up on him he would look like an over grown hideous beast- apparently the symptoms were in line with that. That way, my family couldn’t be tortured for information when people assumed my brother was with Harry, because Ron wasn’t with him; he was home with Spattergroit.

Hermione tampered with the memories of her parents. She told me that much, in the cover of dark, late at night when secrets, thoughts, fears and dreams were passed between best friends sharing a room. The whispers we couldn’t take back, not even if we wanted to. Hermione and I couldn’t hide from each other, that’s why I was so hurt the day we were changing the sheets and shocked that she actually held out.

Her parents had different names, different occupations, a different home in a different country, and had no memory of ever having a daughter. She did it to keep them safe. We both knew it was the hardest thing she had ever had to do… but it was necessary.  

“Hey, Ginny.”

“Neville!” I jumped from my seat and threw my arms around him. Neville gave me a tight hug in return.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” I replied, helping him haul his trunk onto the rack above our heads.

He closed the compartment doors behind us, “No really- how are you?”

I looked away and shrugged. “I need to be fine. I need to be... focused on being fine.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, you know.”

“I know.”

He gave me another doubtful look but relented.

“How was your summer?” I asked.

“Pretty terrible, but I think that was the standard of summers around here.”

“I know what you mean.”

“But one of your brothers got married didn’t he? Luna told me about the wedding.”

My smile was hardly convincing, “Yea, it was nice until the death eaters interrupted.”

“Heard about that too, at least no one was harmed right?”

“Yeah…the little things…” I observed the boy in front of me and I had to admit I was pleasantly surprised, he had grown a lot that summer, and not just in height his face narrowed out and his nose didn’t seem so out of place anymore. He’d always been tall and lanky but like Harry and Ron, he seemed to have filled out. He looked…good. “So you’ve spoken to Luna?”

“Yeah, just now on the platform.”

We stayed quiet for a moment, both probably wondering how long we could leep the pleasantries before the conversation inevitably grew heavy. I decided to break the ice.

“It’s somewhat surreal don’t you think? Sitting here on our way back after all that’s happened…as though nothing did, and without Harry Ron or Hermione and a huge chunk of the student body? Are they right? Are we the fools sitting here just to take on another year of education while the world outside is fighting a war?”

“I think that we are going back for something larger than education… am I right? I’m not sure about me but it makes you brave and not foolish. We need to keep showing that no matter what they do, how many times they thwart us we will always bounce back. We are not that easy.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Neville Longbottom?”

He blushed, “So…er…do you by any chance know why they didn’t come back do you?”

“Not exactly, anything I do know it’s because I overheard it not because they told me…or wanted me to know at all.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t- I thought that you of all- well, never mind.”

            Luckily Luna broke the awkward silence that threatened to fall. “Is everything alright?” she asked taking a seat beside me.

            “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?”

            “You mean aside from the obvious? It’s only the auras in here, they happen to be a deep
blue.”

            “Deep blue?”

            “Yea, deep blue represents solemn, somber feelings and conversations, very grave topics.”

            “Oh well, I guess so,” Neville shrugged, “We were only just talking about Harry, Ron and Hermione not coming this year.”

                Luna’s eyes twinkled in what could have been interest or sadness. “Well of course Ginny would know all about that.”

            “Well…she…doesn’t actually,” he replied uncomfortably.

            “Really? But-”

            “Harry broke up with me.”

            The compartment fell quiet and two pairs of eyes, one blue and the other brown, ogled me. “At Dumbledore’s funeral.” I concluded.

            “But…why?”

            “I’d rather not talk about it.”

            “Sure.”

            Luna had yet to respond but the way she was staring at me had me suspecting that she saw right through me, and was currently reading my thoughts. I shifted.

            “So that’s why he hadn’t asked you to dance?”

            “Yes, I guess.”

            Neville patted my hand, “Don’t worry; we won’t tell anyone, it’s no one’s business but yours.”

            “No-actually, it might be better if that spread around quickly.”

            “That you’re single? Have you already been scouting out for a new boyfriend, Ginny?”

            “NO!”

            Neville was blushing again.

            “Oh good. I knew you were still in love with him.”

            “She means Harry right?” He asked.

            I eyed the locked door and sighed, “Yes I still have feelings for him but that doesn’t leave
this compartment, understood?”

              “Yes.”

            “But then why don’t you know why neither of them returned?” Luna questioned.

            “We broke up Luna, we’ve just covered this.”

            “But what does that matter?”

            “It matters a great deal!”

            “Not if you still have feelings for him, and especially not if he still has feelings for you.”

            “Luna where did you get an idea like that?”

            “You just said-”

         “I meant about Harry feeling the same for me!”

            “Isn’t it obvious?” she asked Neville, who only shrugged. “He obviously didn’t want to break up with you-”

            “I said I didn’t want to talk about it,”

            “He still has a great deal of feelings for you, didn’t you notice the way he was watching you at the wedding? So it makes sense that he only ended it because of something mildly important, like say, safety.”

            “Mildly important?” Neville squeaked.

“Of course, how could anyone forget that happiness is the most important thing, as is love.”
And there it was, her insight. It was incredible how she put together what took me a whole summer to put together (and I still wasn’t sure) in a matter of two minutes. Maybe she was right, but option two was still probable.

“Alright! Enough. Everyone is to think we broke up, no matter the reason.”

“This whole thing is just a nightmare if you ask me.” Neville sighed dropping his head into his hands.

“And it’s about to get worse. I may not know a lot about what the three of them are doing but I know enough. Harry let it slip that what they are doing is about ending Voldemort. They are playing their part in the war now.”

Neville gulped, “By themselves?”

“Looks like it.”

“Wow,” he let out a huge breath and sank back into the cushion of the seat.

I leaned forward, “This has to stay between us. Promise me, if anyone where to find out…it could be fatal, for everyone.”

“Especially considering the new headmaster.”

“Daddy believes that Voldemort is using the imperious curse on the new minister and that’s why they let Snape take Dumbledore’s spot.”

Pius Thicknesse was appointed Minister of Magic right after the murder of Scrimgeour, the changes in the Ministry haven’t exactly been subtle. The number one example, as Luna mentioned: making Snape king of the castle.

“Or poly-juiced, or threatened, or maybe Thicknesse has been a death eater all along.” I suggested.

“Either way,” Neville said with authority,, “this is not going to be a usual year; we need to watch each other’s backs. We need to help Harry.”

I looked at him quizzically, “What are you saying?”

“If Harry, Ron and Hermione are fighting this thing out there then we have to help by protecting the
school and the students, there’s plenty to be done here.”

“You don’t mean-”

“Yeah Luna, war within the walls.”

I smiled, “Neville, I love you.”

“Don’t let Harry hear you say that,”

“And I have a few ideas on what we can do, well if you’re interested.” There was a confidence in him that I had never seen before, it was surprising.

“Of course I’m bloody interested.”

“Luna?”

“If it means opening the D.A. again I would love to help.”

“That’s exactly what it means.”

“Oh good, it’ll be like having friends again.”

Neville and I just smiled; it would be like having friends indeed.
****

From the outside Hogwarts looked the same. There was no evidence of the battle that took place right on the grounds only three short months before. But the energy that made the castle buzz with life dulled that year. Many students were missing, close to a whole third of the student body, Cho Chang, Padma and Partavi Patil, Susan Bones, Justin Finch-Fletchley and…

            Dean Thomas

            Draco Malfoy and

            The Golden Trio

            It was odd, they were only a few among many that failed to show their face but they were ones I noticed personally. Walking into the great hall, I held my breath. Never before had I experienced Hogwarts so taciturn, no one spoke, there were no greetings only glimpses and glances. Colin sat with his brother and they raised their eyebrows as I passed, I replied with a nod..

            “Oi Weasley!” The screech cracked and ricocheted through the eerie silence every head turned.

            “Just keep walking,” Neville whispered beside me.

            “You ignoring me, are you? Won’t be as easy now without your little army of redheaded
protectors!”

            I bit my lip, the urge to snap back was over powering my reticence. We had almost made it to an empty spot next to Seamus.

            “And where’s the boyfriend, Weasley? Home sick with Spattergoit? Or maybe he’s home tending to a missing ear.”

            In a flash that not even I understood, I had turned around and held my wand to Blaise Zambini’s face. “Shut. Up.”

            “Or what?” his dark eyes gleamed with mirth, as he fell into a comfortable stance.

            “Or I’ll hex your brains out,” I growled.

            “Oh, I’m so scared!”

            “You will be when you see it coming out of your arse.”

            That finally threw him off, he swallowed and took a step closer, dropping his voice so that only I and the few around could hear, “I’d watch your back if I were you, there are people here that wouldn’t be afraid to put you in your place.”

            “Is that supposed to be a threat?”

            Losing all sense of whisper, he laughed. “No, it is more like a question, how would you like to get personal approval from Potter’s parents?”

            People gasped, and Neville went for Blaise before anyone could blink. But that didn’t mean he got to him. A milli-second before Neville’s fist collided with the Slytherin’s face, a voice broke out from the head of the room.

            “Enough.”

            All was still for a moment and then the students, all houses alike, became troops, toys in a game controlled by one voice. As a whole, the school sat in a rumble and gush of wind, except for Neville, Blaise, his cronies and I.

            “Zambini, Longbottom, Weasley do you wish to start term with a weeks’ worth detention?”

            I didn’t lower my wand, nor did Neville turn away. “No, professor.”

            “Then. Sit. Down.”

            There was nothing to do but oblige, personally, I hadn’t intended to make a spectacle of myself.

            “What a fine example for all the new students,” he sneered, and for the first time I looked up to the head of the room. Seeing that man, excuse me, murderer up there on that pedestal made me sick.

            I can still remember what it was to name him as headmaster, I still remember the sting of betrayal from that man we had-not by choice- trusted. Having to accept him as our head was an act of depravity. I loathed him more than I could describe.

            Now, of course, I regret everything I felt about him, however at that moment so long ago, I was completely justified in feeling that.

            Snape appeared so comfortable up there with his pale fingers strumming against Dumbledore’s stand. I kept forgetting that Dumbledore was actually dead, yet I couldn’t forget that Snape was the one who killed him.

                “One would think that the older, more experienced, school veterans would know better,” he continued, “but of course there are those who are incapable of learning from…experience,” he said looking straight at me.

Bloody bastard.

            “150 points from Gryffindor for that display, on the account of Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Longbottom.” No one protested, no one made a sound. Had it been a normal day, I’d be rewarded with death glares from a fourth of the school but today everyone knew they’d have done the exact same thing. “And I suppose 20 points from Slytherin should cover it. Well isn’t that just wonderful, starting the term in debt with points.”

            Rolling my eyes, I search for more familiar faces. The rest of the staff was seated in their respective seats not out of the usual. However, there was nothing usual about them. Hagrid’s fists were so tight. I suspected there might be blood. Flitwick’s eyes were darting back and forth between students, and the bags under Trelawney’s eyes were impressive.

            McGonagall was most likely with the first years, gearing them up. As though on cue the doors opened and the fewest number of first years I had ever witnessed poured in behind her.

            The sorting went on as routinely as always, the child sat, their new house was called and the only difference was that the cheers had been reduced to demure applause.

            “Well now, I suppose I should welcome you all to another year, but you all already seem so…comfortable. This year we have new administrators in the school, and you are expected to have the upmost respect, I will not tolerate anything less.” He said that with another glare in my direction. “Amycus and Alecto Carrow.”

            No one really had anything to react to, the school was indifferent, and they had no idea who the two wizards coming to stand beside Snape were. But Neville grew pale, and I thought I was going to be sick.

            It was one thing to tolerate being in the same room as Snape, but it was a total different situation to be in the same room with Amycus Carrow, a man whom in fact broke my ankle two years ago and had tried and failed to kill me just three months before.  He was ruthless.

            And his sister was no doubt just as despicable.

            “They will be teaching classes, but most importantly they are the head of discipline.”

A small gasp escaped my lips.

            How could they have possibly gotten away with that? It still baffles me to think of how deep Voldemort’s claws got into every aspect of our world, and how there was nothing I could do or say about it.

            Seamus Finnigan threw me a funny look and I tried to smile back; there was no point in alarming anyone prematurely.

            “Now, everyone will have dinner and proceed to his or her respective dormitories
immediately. No dawdling.” Snape finished his speech without so much of a dismissal and stalked out of the hall trailed by the Death Eaters. He couldn’t even eat with us.

            “Well that was…”

            “An interesting start,” Neville said.

            “Do the two of you have mutiny plans yet?” Seamus asked. Colin, his brother and several others were waiting officiously for the response.

            “We have an idea, but we’ll just have to wait for the right time.”

            Seamus snorted, “Right time? More like the worst time possible.”
****

                I was late. So late, I dreaded to meet my destination. Maybe I should have skipped the class altogether, but it was just such a gamble. I fully expected McGonagall to blow a gasket, “Miss. Weasley! This is only the first class of the year, your sixth year! There is no excuse, is this an example of what is to come?” I’d get detention for sure.

            I pushed my frowzy hair out of the way, waking up late on the first day of class really was a hassle; I hustled my way over to the Transfiguration room. My world was startled to say the least when I tip-toed into the lesson. McGonagall, did stop mid-sentence but only to turn to me and say, “Take a seat Miss. Weasley,” and continue.

            No reprimands. No strident criticisms. Nothing. I didn’t hear a word she said throughout the entire lesson. I was analyzing her reaction when the door opened once again and Amycus stepped into my first lesson of the year.

                No one made any kind of sign that they even noticed his appearance. McGonagall keep talking, so I mimed taking notes and kept Carrow in the outskirts of my eyesight.

            “This year we will be preparing for your N.E.W.Ts, covering subjects that will appear on the test.”

            He was eyeing each and every student, and McGonagall turned to the board. I wished I could tap into her mind, I wonder what she thought of all this, never in my years at that school had any teacher been observed during her lesson- no wait- someone had, Delores Umbridge. Carrow began to pace the rows.


            “The basic ideal of transfiguring a complete animal for a new one is among one of the requirements to pass-”

            Colin beside me continued to bounce his leg like a maniac as Amycus grew closer. I couldn’t be certain if the death eater had realized I was there. My eyes remained on the board when he finally reached my desk; he paused, and furtively placed a hand on the desk. I took it as a small, “Ha! I’ve found you!”

        When Carrow walked out of the room, McGonagall’s hand at the board froze for a slight second. Though she was positioned away from us I could imagine the relief on her face, but before I could blink again she had resumed the lesson. 

****
            “Miss. Weasley could you stay for a moment?”

            “Of course, Professor,” I replied waving Colin off.

            “Miss- Ginny,” she resigned to using my first name for the first time since I’d met her. “Do
not think I didn’t notice your walking in late to the first class of the semester. You know better.”

            “I’m sorry, it’s just I-”

          “There’s no use for extraneous explanations at this point, I do believe I understand. However, next time I will not be so lenient.”

            “Yes, Ma'am."

            “Now, I know that this must be a bit scary for you; we’ve succeeded in keeping the knowledge that Snape killed Dumbledore away from the students, but, of course, it is too late for
Mr. Longbottom, Miss. Lovegood and yourself. I need you to know that my office will be open whenever.  If you need something, anything, do not hesitate. I need your help with this, Ginny.”

            I nodded, amazed at the magnitude of the conversation; I had never heard her speak like that, to me, to anyone.

           “Professor, how could this have happened?”

            “Dark forces Miss. Weasley, they are all around. Now stay as far away from the Carrows as possible, alright? Do not go drawing attention to yourself; I am aware of your history with Amycus.”

            “Yes Professor.”

As I made my way to the door she stopped me once more, “Mrs. Weasley, I’m sorry, I’m almost positive you won’t want to answer, but I feel I must at least try, do you have any idea where-”

            “No ma’am, I honestly don’t.
*****
            The first few weeks were very quiet. Classes commenced, dinners commenced, and homework was done. Conversation was modest and saved for late nights in the common room.

            “No Quidditch! Can you believe it? You would have been captain!” Neville complained.

            “Oh please, it would have been Coote or Peakes before me.”

            “Whatever helps you sleep at night,”

            Sleep? That was a joke if I ever heard one. I hadn’t a moment of good sleep since Harry disappeared.

            “Besides, I would never have done Harry justice.”

            Truth be told, I already longed for the feeling of being on my broomstick, the smell of the wood and the robes.

            "Has anyone seen Seamus?” Lavender Brown asked descending the steps of the boy’s dormitory.

            “Not me, haven’t seen him since breakfast,” Neville replied.

            “He didn’t show up to Herbology, did he?”

            “Now that I think about it, he didn’t.”

            I shrugged, “I’m sure he’s fine, probably just trying to nick some sweets from the kitchen.”

            Lavender floundered nervously, “He was supposed to meet me an hour ago.”

            I had almost forgotten the two had gotten together at the end of the previous year. Ironic that. Dumbledore’s untimely death was the untimely end to Harry and me but the start of Seamus and Lavender as a couple.

            “You guys talking about Finnigan?” Colin asked falling on the couch next to me.

            “Yeah, do you know where he is?”

            “Well it probably has something to do with what happened after breakfast.”

             Neville shut his potions book, Lavender ceased her hair twirling.

“What happened after breakfast?”

      “You guys didn’t hear?”

            “Obviously not.”

            “Oh…well he was with a few Slytherins and Alecto —right?- the woman. She was sneering
at him, sort of how Snape does when he’s barmy. All I know is that he got detention, no idea why though.” Colin seemed nonplussed as he stared at our blank faces. “You hadn’t heard? It’s been all over school today.”

            “No but-”

            “So he’s in detention? Well that’s a relief,” Lavender sighed, suddenly breaking out her usual perk again.

            Neville caught my eye; I knew we were thinking the same thing. Detention with the Carrows? It was nothing to sigh about.

            And the theory was evinced…thoroughly, when the portrait hole opened and Seamus climbed in. Blood was trickling down from his lip and a red shadow on his cheek bone was slowing turning purple.

            In an instant every whisper and scratch of a quill came to a halt, Seamus however, didn’t pause to answer any questions and proceeded up the stairs to his dorm with a frantic girlfriend at his heels. The shut of the door echoed in the stunned room. 

            It was getting worse.

            “Is it the right time yet?”
*****
            Seamus’ shiner wasn’t discussed over the next month or so- it was a taboo; we all understood what happened but we just didn’t want to think about it.

            Students scurried around with their chins tucked in and tails between their legs. I understood that everyone was on edge, but how we were supposed to start up the D.A. and the so called rebellion if the students were too frightened to speak at dinner?

            At least one student from each house, apart from Slytherins naturally, had gained a face like Seamus’ and it succeeded in intimidating the population.

            October’s end was nearing and we had yet to do anything. I knew Harry would have been disappointed.

            “We need to act,” I told Neville in an undertone at lunch one day.

            “I was starting to think the same thing. I was just hoping it wouldn’t have to be so soon.”

            “Whatever you two are planning, I’m in,” Colin disguised his whisper with leaning over to serve himself more turkey. “And I bet that many people around here would be too.”

            I almost laughed, “Are you kidding? Everyone around here has been shaking with fright.”

            “That doesn’t mean they don’t want to help. Besides, it could be just an act you know, pleasing the Carrows so that they think they have full control, never suspecting what we are going to do.”

            “Are you serious?” The answer was evident when almost all the heads of Gryffindor turned to me deliberately.

            My heart lightened incredulously. “Ok then. Be on the lookout, they’ll be signals for a meeting very soon.”
*****

I didn’t feel alone. I was the only one in the room, but I sensed life all around me. People I hadn’t seen or heard from in a while.

I could almost hear him, “A memory, a really strong happy memory will suffice. Don’t hold out, it must be strong enough to counter even the worst of thoughts-”

            I could almost see him wandering around securing wand grips, postures, adjusting wrist movements.

I could almost see his smile when someone succeeded.

            Had it already been two years since those memories were realities? I remembered it like the last thing I said.

            Perhaps it was just the room. Perhaps I required the feeling of hope, the feeling of Harry, because I truly was the only person inside the Room of Requirement.

I know what you’re thinking, “I was only 16, I didn’t know anything about such strong love; the feeling of Harry- what did I know? Blah, blah, blah…” but I did know.

I was the exception.

When I was eleven, barely a pre-teen, I was manipulated by a troubled 16-year-old whose past was just as severe as Harry’s. I’ve told you I poured my heart and soul into him, I bared everything out on a table, the insecurities of a young girl, the worries and stresses of a student. But I never told you that Tom Riddle returned the favor, he poured everything into me. He made me feel everything and I experienced his youth first-hand. His anger, his pain, his sense of betrayal.

His loneliness, the abandonment he felt at the orphanage he lived in as a child, his confusion as to what love meant, it all bubbled up to the surface as he used my soul to recreate his own. I know now what exactly he was doing and why he did that- why the diary did that- but you I’m afraid will have to wait a little bit longer.   

Anyway, because I was so young when this happened to me, my experience with emotion was far beyond that of a regular teenager. I knew then, as I know now. how it feels to not have the love that I have with Harry, to have no one care for you. I know how it can drive you to do all the things Tom
did. The feeling of Harry to me, was the feeling of love in general.

Harry too understood what it felt to have no one care for you; his past is a slight resemblance of Tom’s. So to watch him have the heart to love and care without anyone showing him what it meant gave me the hope that there was enough good in the world to conquer anything. Harry was that good. He was the hope that after the war there would still be enough love in the world, so that children like Harry would turn out alright when they had no one either.

I’m being so elaborate for a reason, not just because I’m a rather barmy person, but I want you to understand this as you read. I’m sure you’ve thought of me as overly dramatic at times, overly emotional, especially for someone so young. You think that I added all these things now as an older woman looking back, but I haven’t, nor have I barked at things I couldn’t see because I did feel those emotions, I did think those thoughts just as raw and powerful as you’ve read them.

It was Tom’s doing.

It was Voldemort.

Just another thing to blame on him. But I must admit if I did take anything with me as I walked away
from the Chamber it was my sense of emotion. My empathy. Merlin help me, I was not, nor have I ever been, a silly little girl in puppy love. It was much more than that.

The Room of Requirement didn’t hesitate at all to transfigure back into the old D.A. room. It was a bittersweet moment as I stood there, all the memories rushing back, but I was glad it came back to me nonetheless.

I wasn’t going to be able to do him justice as leader of the D.A. that was fact. But fact never stopped me before.

            “Kind of odd isn’t it? I was sad that we couldn’t continue last year but it’s even worse that we have to start it up again right?” Neville appeared beside me surveying our work area.

            “The summer did you well, Neville, you’ve changed.”

            “Haven’t we all, at least a little?”

            “Well yes but…did something happen?”

            He looked torn, his brown eyes troubled, I waited silently until he replied, “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

            “Fair enough.”

            “Oh isn’t this just wonderful? Everything is still here.” Luna was wondering around when I
turned to her smiling at everything in sight. “Everyone is truly excited, but I do feel bad that the Slytherins are left out of the fun.”

            “The Slytherins are the cause of this Luna.”

            “If that were true then why isn’t the war against the Sorting Hat? He’s that one who makes the Slytherins after all.”

            I couldn’t even fathom a response. “So who is starting the lesson then?”

            Neville averted his eyes, Luna stared blankly.

            “Right then.”

            “Are we early?” Colin asked as he walked into the room followed by his brother and a few other Gryffindors.

            I shrugged, “Doesn’t really matter does it?” People shuffled into the room gradually in groups of three or four. Many seemed anxious, while others were barley containing their excitement. The murmurs were dwindling and I knew the time to say something was drawing near.

            “The floor is yours,” Neville nudged me to the center of the room.

            “Of course it is,” I muttered.

            How had Harry done this and make it look so easy? I mean, I was only just Ginny and he was only just Harry.

            Yeah, Harry bloody Potter.

I took a breath and just let the right words come out.

“I want to thank you for coming. It means so much, not only to me but to everyone who is involved and those who want to fight back. The fact that we can all stand up together shows we can fight back too.”

“I know that there are bad things-scratch that -horrific things going on in our world right now and it’s already leaked into our school.” I gestured subtly to those with visible evidence of the unorthodox detentions.

“I know this used to be Harry’s job, and I also know what that rag of a newspaper is printing about his so-called 'desertion' but I can assure you, he’s fighting every damn minute of the damn day.”
Ever since it was common knowledge that Harry Potter hadn’t return to Hogwarts for his last year of school, everyone had been accusing him of running away from his “destined duties” as Voldemort’s ascendancy plagued both the wizarding and the muggle worlds.  The Prophet along with Rita Skeeter fully supported that theory for his sudden disappearance.

“Now look, we are all here for the same reason, whether it’s to out right fight, or to learn how to defend ourselves, we are still here because we are against Voldemort.” Some still flinched at the name. “Harry once said that every great witch of wizard started out as nothing more than what we are today and if they could do it, why can’t we? He was absolutely right. Let’s prove it to him shall we?”

Colin beamed, Luna smiled and Neville nodded. “So I think we should start by reviewing everything the original group learned two years ago. We’re going to help each other, learn from each other, contribute anything we can and become the best bloody army this school has ever seen. Are we ready?”

****
“You…er…wanted to see me, Professor?” I poked my head into the Headmaster’s office.

I was summoned to the Headmaster’s office during the second month of the school year…. I honestly wondered what had taken so long.

“Come in Miss. Weasley.”

I knew I didn’t have anything to worry about; the D.A. had only met up a few times and we had yet
to do anything compromising.

“Yes, Sir.” Playing nice was the best tactic sometimes.

Even if I hated it.

“Take a seat.” I did. Snape strummed his fingers again. “I understand that you’ve had a conference
with Professor McGonagall.”

Conference? I had no idea where he was getting at.

“Don’t be too quick to defend or deny,” He said before I could respond, “I’m not accusing you of anything.”

Snape not accusing? That was a laugh. It seemed he was playing nice too.

“Honestly, I’ve had no such meeting with Professor McGonagall…well she had me stay after class for a moment.”

One of his dark arching eye brows rose, “Precisely.”

“Only to reprimand my tardiness.”

Snape pursed his lips; his façade slipping.  “There is no use in hiding the truth Miss. Weasley, we both know you discussed more than just your incompetence.”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re meaning Sir.”

“My patience is wearing thin; I will ask you once more-”

“If you’re so sure there was such a conversation then why don’t you question Professor McGonagall? Or do you think she will be unwilling to tell you anything? Sure you can try to intimidate me into confessing something but getting the truth out of an Order member would be quite difficult especially after you-”

Snape stood up so swiftly it caught me off guard, he’d had enough of our little game; I knew he couldn’t stand to be nice for very long, he decided to drop all pretenses. “The sudden respect is flawed Weasley, no one would believe it for a minute.”

I followed his lead without hesitation, “Only because no one would believe you deserve any sense of respect.”

“I’d watch my words if I were you, you seem to keep forgetting that I run this school now,” his voice dropped low and quiet.

“For now.”

“I know you discussed the whereabouts of Potter and Granger!”

“You are wasting your time.”

“Where are they?”

“Why do you care? Oh that’s right! You want to know so that you can go off skipping to your master, You-Know-Who and tell him what you’ve learned!”

“You assume too quickly. Not everything is what it seems, it would do you a wonder of good if you understood that, but you’re just too stubborn, just like the rest of your family.”

It was my turn to stand up, “Do not bring my family into this! I don’t know where Harry is and I wouldn’t tell you even if I had the slightest idea!”

“You will regret that decision soon enough, why don’t you try again?”

I was seeing red. My anger must have been pouring off me like flames.

The git smirked and dropped his voice again, “It’s getting to you isn’t it?”

“What?” I spat.

“Not knowing- that is- if you truly don’t.”

I looked away from his disgusting face and something brilliant caught my eye. An idea so inspiring hit like a slap in the face and it took all I had to maintain a neutral face.

“I’m not keeping anything Professor, the Order would never tell me anything anyway. You already know that. Why are you so insistent anyway? Is the Dark Lord miffed at you? Are you trying to get on good terms, trying to suck up? What’s wrong? Did you not murder Dumbledore the way he wanted you to?”

“Get. Out. NOW.”

“Gladly.” I walked away with one last glance at the Sword of Gryffindor mounted on the wall above Snape’s head. Something told me this wasn’t over, but at least the first round went to me.

“And Weasley?”

“Yes Professor?” When I turned back to face him, I almost felt frightened, I had never, in all my years of sitting in his class with his suffocating attitude, had I ever seen him so deadly angry, so evil.

            “If I find that you and your little friends have started up that… club again, you’ll be worse than sorry.”

            “If I may make a point? We only ever opened that club when we weren’t learning defense,
and we are now. Not to mention it was Harry’s job, it was his club and as you know, he’s not here.”
****
            “Are you insane?”

            “Not the last time I checked why?

          “When we said ‘act’ I thought it meant opening the D.A. just to learn to defend ourselves. I thought we agreed our part of this war was to teach and keep the students safe. Not risk…death to run an errand!”

            “Oh please, I think death is over doing it,” I told Neville as I picked up yet another fallen cushion. “Besides, what’s wrong with doing both?”

            “Luna can you please talk some sense into her?”

            “Who’s sense? Mine or yours?”

            “Wait. You don’t agree with me?”

            Luna tilted her head, “Well,” she said, “I thought we were in danger already, what is more flame to the fire?”

            I chuckled, “I think it is said, ‘fire to the flame.’”

            “How does that make any sense?”

            “Anyway!” Neville seemed pretty flustered, and it was pretty surprising. I had thought he’d have been all for it and prepared considering his new found attitude.

            The three of us were picking up after a rather explosive meeting- our third to be exact- when I brought up my idea.

            “I think it’s just too chancy,” he continued, “stealing the Sword of Gryffindor from Snape’s office is a death wish.”

            “Two things, first, it isn’t Snape’s office, its Dumbledore’s-”

            “Dumbledore’s dead Ginny,”

            “I…know that,” I replied.

            He frowned, I wasn’t sure if he regretted what he’d said or if he was just annoyed. He bore his eyes into mine trying to get his point across, “Do you really? Because you still talk about him as though he were here.”

            “Of course I know! Of course I’ve come to terms with it, you think I’m in denial? I saw his body Neville! We were all there!”

            “It’s Snape’s office.”

            “Fine! Whatever! Let him be headmaster, but that sword is not.”

            “It wasn’t even Dumbledore’s to give to Harry in the first place!”

            “Why are you so against this?!”

         “BECAUSE GINNY! Whenever we go out vigilante mission without thinking things through someone always gets hurt!”

            He was right and I had to admit it to myself. Sirius…our fault…my brother Bill…my fault…George and Mad-Eye…the Order’s fault. We kept saying that nothing was our fault to help through the mourning but deep down... I knew that if I hadn’t fought in the last battle Bill wouldn’t have chased after me and wouldn’t have come face to face with Greyback.

            “We can’t let that stop us Neville, if we do, then they win!” I was pleading with him now, “Harry needs that sword for reasons unknown but if Dumbledore thought he did then that’s reason enough for me. Yes, he’s dead, but even in death I still trust Dumbledore’s judgment. It had to be important; you’ve got to believe that!”

            “Oh I think he believes it,” Luna said as she stood up, “He just doesn’t want to see you get hurt. That really would be awful; you’re the closest I’ve ever had to best friends.”

            “Luna, we are your best friends.”

           “We are going to be more careful than all the other times. It isn’t as impulsive as running off school grounds. There won’t be an army of death eaters banging down our doors. No Voldemort. Please, Neville.”

            He shook his head, “I’m not sure.”

            “Well, it’s rather impossible not to be sure isn’t it? You’re sure about not being sure, so what you’re saying is flawed, and maybe it means that you do want to do this.”

            Neville shook his head, “Luna-”

            “She’s right Neville, in her own way; you’re not one to be not sure, well not anymore anyway. You told me this summer changed you. Prove it.”

            He didn’t say anything.

            “I need you, I need you both, and if you’re not willing to help then I’m just going to have to do this by myself.”

            “I’ll help, besides, I don’t think we will really get hurt, Snape’s aura is against it.”

            Luna thought that Snape was against physical injury? Then why the hell were students walking around with black eyes?

            “Neville?”

He was torn, between diffidence, diligence and courage.

             And finally he caved, “How the bloody hell are we even going to do this?”

            “We’ll think of something.”

            “Ok, ok…I’m in.”

            “Brilliant!” I exclaimed and kissed him on his cheek. Neville blushed.

            “Erm…yea…no…problem.”

            How indeed? Now we needed a plan.

            “Why don’t we just ask for the sword?”

            “What?”

            Luna shrugged, “Why don’t we just ask for it, it’s not as though they are using it anyway.”

            “I honestly doubt they will be willing to just hand over an artifact like that, especially if we asked.” Neville was right; it was just ridiculous to even think about it.

            “Besides,” I sneered, “I’m through with playing nice.

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