Summary: Harry and Ginny. Roommates and best friends. Both wanting the best for each other. Everyone but them can see they are perfect for each other. It's a pity they are both Clueless.
Rating: R
Categories: Alternate Universe
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2014.08.14
Updated: 2014.09.09
Clueless by Pottermum
Chapter 1: Chapter 1 Karaoke and Clueless
Author's Notes: Ch 1
“Alone again, naturally,” sang twenty-one year old Harry Potter, laying on his bed. He was feeling quite sorry for himself. It was Friday night and he had been dumped, just twenty-four hours ago.
“Good God, when did we get a cat, and why is it in so much pain?” asked twenty year old Ginny Weasley with a smirk. She shared the flat with Harry, and she now stood in his doorway.
“Gin, you're home! When did you get back from Egypt?” asked Harry, rolling on to his side.
Ginny laughed as she came to sit on his bed. “Obviously, I'm home, the team arrived back just before lunch, but we had to fill out our reports. Now I've got some time off, and I come home and find my best friend is depressed. What's going on?”
“It's Padma, she dumped me last night. I can't believe it, I thought things were going well. Well that's it, another relationship down the drain. I need to face it, I'm destined to be alone.”
“My my, we are feeling sorry for ourselves aren't we? Let's get a bit of perspective, shall we? When I left for Egypt two weeks ago, you were getting ready for your first date with Padma, so I really don't think you can say it was a relationship. Did you sleep with her?” asked Ginny, patting his arm.
Harry nodded. “I know, I know, it was only two weeks. I did my usual, you know, we met for a coffee and chatted for our first date, that seemed to go well. The next one was dinner and a movie, that didn't go so well, she didn't like the movie I chose. Then, there's my third date,” said Harry.
“You cooked her dinner here, and put the moves on her. It obviously went well, so what's the problem? Why would she dump you?” asked Ginny, confused.
“Well, she enjoyed the meal, but we were talking about the old Hogwarts days, and I mentioned how pretty she looked when I took her to the Yule Ball,” said Harry.
“Oh-oh. Harry, you prat, you took her sister Parvati to the ball, Ron took Padma,” said Ginny, shaking her head.
“How do you remember stuff like that? Anyway, I tried to joke my way out of it, but she wasn't buying it. Anyway we moved to the couch and we started snogging, that was going really well, so we made the move to the bedroom. That's when it all went wrong,” said Harry, sadly.
Ginny burst out laughing. “What, you got sex wrong?”
“According to her, yes. Things were going really well, then she wanted me to, you know, so I did,” said Harry, pointing down. Ginny nodded to indicate she understood.
“Then she started criticising me, do it harder, more tongue, higher, too high, faster, slower. Merlin, I thought she'd never shut up!”
“Oh Harry!” said Ginny, laughing hard.
“So she leaves after that, without any relief for me. I didn't hear from her for a couple of days so I went over to her house. She answered, didn't let me in, told me we were through, but then thanked me.”
“What for?” asked Ginny.
“Get this, thanks to her night with me, she'd decided she's off men and going the other way. She's got a girlfriend, she was there, she came to the door, She asked Padma, 'is this him?' and Padma nodded. She smirked at me, and thanked me. Padma just said no hard feelings, and shut the door. I was so embarrassed,”said Harry, sadly.
Ginny burst out laughing, then tried to stop as Harry glared at her. He sat up in bed and crossed his arms grumpily. “It's not funny, Gin.”
Ginny scooted up and sat next to him. “I'm sorry, Harry. But never fear, Ginny is here! When did all this happen?”
“Last night,” said Harry.
“Right, did you go to work today?”
Harry shook his head. “Day off.”
“So, you came home, got drunk, slept in,” Ginny sniffed. “Showered, maybe made a sandwich, but came back to bed, where you've been ever since. How close am I?”
Harry scowled. “It was toast, not a sandwich. Otherwise, pretty spot on. Am I really that predictable?”
Ginny smiled, laying her head on his shoulder. “Harry, you want to be in love so bad, you're making something out of nothing. You have to let it happen naturally. Ever since Ron and Hermione moved in together, you've made it your mission to find the perfect girl. You even dated that Muggle for a few weeks, and we all knew that wasn't going to work.”
“Things were going well with Lisa, I just hated the lying, about my job, my friends, my whole life,” said Harry.
“Yes Harry, we know. Now, lucky for you, I'm here. It's time to move into Phase two,' said Ginny.
“Phase two?” asked Harry.
Ginny nodded. “Phase two is when you go out with your best friend, and we have an absolute blast, and you forget all about your so called relationship with Parvati, sound good?”
“Padma, it was with Padma. Yeah, that actually sounds good. I was invited by Pete, one of the other Aurors, to meet him and his friends at a Muggle pub for a meal and a game of darts and some drinks. What do you reckon?”
“That sounds great! You never know, you might meet 'the one' tonight. Just don't go looking for it. Now, I'm jumping in the shower. I'm starved, hope they do a good meal there,” said Ginny, giving Harry a kiss on the cheek before leaving his room.
“Hey Gin?” called Harry.
Ginny poked her head back around the door.
“I'm glad you're home,” said Harry, smiling.
Ginny winked at him, and disappeared into the bathroom. Harry heard the shower going, and he got up to go through his wardrobe. He felt better already.
*******************************
'Islands in the stream, that is what are,
No one in between, how can we be wrong.
Sail away with me to another world.
And we rely on each other, aha
From one lover to another, aha.'
Applause broke out as the song came to an end.
“Okay people, that was our last couple, it's now up to you, the audience to cheer for your favourites. Then we'll see who will be crowned tonight’s Karaoke King and Queen.” said the MC.
“-and our last couple, singing 'Islands in the Stream', give a big cheer for Harry and Ginny!”
The audience went crazy. It helped that Harry's fellow Auror Pete, had brought along a few of his friends.
“Well folks, we have a winner. Harry and Ginny, come back up here and get your crowns. Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight's King and Queen of karaoke! Next up is girls only...”
Harry and Ginny left the stage, laughing hysterically. “Oh my god, that was so much fun, I can't believe we won!” said Harry, slightly tipsy.
“What do you mean? Together we can do anything. We were bloody (belch) brilliant, 'scuse me,” laughed Ginny. “What's next?” she asked, leaning against Harry. “Hey, let's go and find Pete.”
They found Pete and a couple of his friends involved in a card game. There wasn't many seats so Harry sat down and pulled Ginny on to his lap. They watched the game; Ginny enthusiastically offering her opinion. She was soon pulled in to the game when someone had to leave. Harry had played with her before, so he wasn't too worried. Pete slid into a vacant seat beside him.
“Ginny's a great girl, Potter. You're a lucky guy,” said Pete.
“I am lucky, Ginny's the best,” said Harry, slurring his words.
“You never said your girlfriend was such a babe. Half your luck going home with that tonight,” said Pete.
“Hey, don't you talk about Gin like that, she-”
“I don't believe it!” said Jack, one of Pete's friends. “She's can't, can she?” he asked rhetorically, causing Harry and Pete to watch the game that Ginny was playing.
Ginny had laid down a ten of hearts, then a jack of hearts. She paused, looking at her opponent.
The crowd gathered around, feeling like something big was about to happen. The crowd was hushed.
Ginny tilted her karaoke crown and laid down a queen of hearts. The crowd cheered. Her opponent wiped the sweat from his brow.
She laid down a king of hearts. The crowd cheered again. Ginny took a drink and looked over at Harry. She winked at him.
Ginny slowly laid down her final card. It was the ace of hearts. The crowd went wild.
“A Royal Flush, I don't believe it, she had a bloody Royal Flush. Do you know what the pot was worth? She just won five hundred quid,” said Jack, in astonishment.
Ginny shook hands with her opponent, then took him over to the bar and bought him a drink. She beckoned Harry over.
“Karaoke Queen and Card Sharp, who knew!” he declared, laughing as he hugged her.
“Here Harry, hold the money, I don't know Muggle money,” she said under her breath. “Will you buy me a drink, get me one of those cider thingies, get a drink for yourself. I'll be back with Pete and the guys,” she said, disappearing into the crowd.
Harry turned back to the bar and placed the order. A large guy came up and stood next to him.
“That your woman?” he asked.
“She's with me, yes,” said Harry defensively.
“But she's not your woman? I wanna take her out. Tell her, will ya. I'll be over there,” he said, pointing.
“No, I-” Too late, the big man left. Harry took his drinks and made his way over to Ginny, who was swaying to the music coming from the next round of karaoke.
“Ah, Gin, I think you've got an admirer. That big bloke over there, he wants to take you out,” said Harry, handing her a drink and nodding in the guy's direction.
Ginny glanced over and back. “No. Thanks for the drink. Wanna dance?”
Harry winced. “No? That's all you're gonna say? No?” asked Harry
Ginny looked at him. No, thank you?” she said, confused. Harry shook his head.
Ginny laughed and pulled his hand. “Come and dance with me, Harry.”
She led him onto the tiny dance floor close to the karaoke stage. Harry usually hated dancing, but he found the more drinks he had, the better he danced. He was doing moves he didn't even know. Ginny was encouraging him, and copying his dance moves. Harry didn't remember when he'd had so much fun.
He excused himself to go to the bathroom. He was doing his fly up as he came out, and a hand clamped on his shoulder. Harry tensed and looked up.
“Well, what did Red say?” asked the large guy.
“Red said thanks, but no thanks,” said Harry, trying to duck past him.
“Why?” the guy asked. Harry shrugged, wanting to get back to Ginny.
“I'll tell you what, you and me, we're gonna have a game of darts. Whoever wins, gets Red,” said the guy.
“Look mate, I'm not really-”
“Five minutes. You better be back here in five minutes. Bring Red. I want her to see me whip your scrawny butt!”
“Hey!” called Harry, but the large guy had left. Harry went back to Ginny, who handed him a drink.
“You need to go and tell him no, that you're not interested,” said Harry.
“No,” said Ginny. Harry nodded.
“Good, tell him that,” said Harry, looking around.
“No,” repeated Ginny. Harry swung back to look at her.
“What?” he asked.
“I said, no, I'm not going to tell him that. Larry just came and told me you have to play a game of darts, I want to see,” laughed Ginny.
“Who the hell is Larry?” asked Harry, scratching his head.
“Larry, the new love of my life, according to him. Him,” she said pointing to the large guy.
Larry the large guy beckoned him over. Harry gulped down his drink, which turned out to be a big mistake.
Ginny, Pete and Pete's friends went over with Harry, and they met Larry.
“Right, we're gonna have a nice friendly game. After you've thrown your dart, you scull a drink, got it. We'll throw ten rounds, highest score gets the girl, got it?” asked Larry.
Harry nodded. Larry went first, then sculled his beer. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and belched.
“You're up, scrawny butt,” said Larry.
Ginny smacked his butt. “Go get 'em, scrawny butt!” she called.
Harry turned and glared at her, and she blew him a kiss.
“You sure you two ain't together?” asked Larry, leering at Ginny. “What's wrong with ya, ya blind or something? She's a firecracker!”
Harry concentrated on the dartboard, hitting an eighteen. He threw a victorious look at Larry, who had thrown a thirteen.
Fifteen minutes later, and the crowd from the girls karaoke had drifted over to the dart game. Word had spread that two men were 'playing for the affections of a young lady', as one old timer put it. More colourful versions were doing the rounds of the pub.
“Geez, can't you ever just have a nice quiet night at the pub, mate?” asked Pete, clapping him on the back. Harry scowled at him. The scores were close with only a couple of rounds to go.
The Harry and Larry show was drawing to a conclusion. The throws were getting worse, and the men were getting drunker, as were the people watching. Ginny was getting nervous, and she kept drinking too.
Finally it came to an end, yet, unbelievably the scores were tied. A groan and a cheer went up.
“One more throw, highest score wins,” slurred Larry.
Harry smiled drunkenly.
Larry went first. He threw an eighteen. A roar went up from the crowd. He sauntered over to Ginny.
“You and me, Red. We're gonna have a bit of fun later. Hope you're as fiery in the sack as the colour of your hair,” he said, winking at Ginny.
Ginny tossed another drink back. She shot a look at Harry that seemed to say 'Do something!'
Harry watched Larry brush his hand down Ginny's hair. “Your hair's so pretty, it's like fire, so many colours,” he said, patting her like she was a pet.
Harry narrowed his eyes. He didn't like Larry touching Ginny, he shouldn't be doing that. Ginny wasn't Larry's to touch, she was, she was -
“Oy, Harry, it's your throw. You've got to beat an eighteen. Good luck mate,” yelled Pete.
Harry looked at Pete, then at Larry, still standing next to Ginny, whispering things in her ear. Harry could tell Ginny was getting pissed off, and she was fingering her wand. He knew things could be about to get ugly. He took a deep breath and turned back to the dartboard and focused, well, tried to focus.
Harry chanced a look back, and met Ginny's eyes. She had a blazing look in her eyes, and he almost thought he could hear her thoughts. 'You can do this, Harry, I believe in you.' Harry threw the dart. Harry closed his eyes.
A cheer went up, and Harry opened his eyes. Pete and his mate were around him. “Bloody brilliant, mate, you hit the bloody bullseye. You won, Harry, you won!”
Harry raised his hands in a victory salute, and next thing he knew Ginny threw herself onto him, wrapping her legs around his waist and hugging him. “You did it. I knew you could, knew you would. My hero!”
Without even thinking what he was doing, Harry palmed the back of her head and kissed her hard.
Ginny froze then leaned in to the kiss. They were both completely unaware of the crowd hooting and whistling. They pulled apart and stared at each other, before bursting into laughter.
They shook hands with Larry, and waved goodbye to Pete and his mates. Several people stopped to congratulate them as they left.
Finally they made their way out of the pub. Larry and Pete watched them stumble around, leaning against each other, Harry wearing Ginny's karaoke Queen crown, his lost somewhere. They were giggling and stumbling, arm in arm, as they headed for the apparition point near the pub. Harry stopped to crouch down, and Ginny hopped on his back.
“Giddyup, Scrawny Butt!” she called.
Larry said, “ain't together, my ass!”
Pete and Larry sighed, and looked at each other. “Clueless, both of 'em.”
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