Dear Harry, Dear Ginny by CharmHazel
Summary: Seperated by war and desperately missing each other, both Harry and Ginny write letters to one another, despite knowing they can never send them.
Rating: PG
Categories: Post-HBP, Post-DH/AB
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2015.12.20
Updated: 2016.02.15
Dear Harry, Dear Ginny by CharmHazel
Chapter 1: Heartbroken
Author's Notes: The Burrow — July 1997…..
Dear Harry,
Please forgive me for doing this, for writing to you. I’m not sure that I will actually send this to you or even give this to you when you arrive, but I needed to let you know how I truly feel about you, about us and about this break up. I need to write it all down before my heart breaks into a million pieces and beyond repair.
The simple fact is that I am heartbroken, but then again I believe you are as well. And as much as I hate this break up and despite how heartbroken I am, I do understand, really truly understand why you made that decision. For that reason, I don’t hate you for it. So please, please don’t think that I do. In all honesty, the very fact that you are worried for my safety that much just made me fall for you even more. I need you to understand though, that despite this break up, I am still yours, my heart belongs to you. It has done for a long time, perhaps from the moment we met, but it was cemented the day you kissed me for the first time.
The few weeks we were together were the best weeks of my life. And they were most definitely the happiest I have ever had or have been. All those plans we had made for the summer, I hate that they cannot happen now. I can only hope and dream that we may get to have those long lazy days by the pond together someday. But then again, with the way our world is right now, I can only hope and dream that all the things we talked about doing can happen one day. And I know that if they do, it will be because you made it happen, because you defeated Tom.
I know it has to be you when it comes down to it. I figured that out long before the whole ‘Chosen One’ headline in the Daily Prophet. I think I knew before we went to the Department of Mysteries, but that night only confirmed it for me. There was a prophecy about you and Tom. You don’t need to be a genius to figure out that it has to be you who defeats him. I know you never told me the contents of the prophecy, but it was obvious to me that you knew and that it was weighing heavily on your mind. And I understand why you never confided in me about it, the less people who knew the better. It was the same reason you never told me about what Dumbledore was teaching you, another reason you pushed me away. Again, I do understand.
Oh Merlin, Harry! This is harder than I expected and I hate it! I sat in a compartment on the train by myself on the journey back to London. Neville and Luna invited me to sit with them, but the only person I wanted to sit with was you and that was not possible. All I could do was sit and stare out of the window while I thought about you, me and the amazing few weeks we had together.
I know we didn’t get as much alone time as we could have had, all thanks to my O.W.L.s and your own exams, but I will treasure every moment we did share. I will also cherish every touch and every kiss we shared. Every minute we spent together, whether it was alone or with others, now holds a special place in my heart. No matter what happens, our relationship, and especially you, will hold that place in my heart forever.
Please don’t think that I think you will not survive, especially based on what I have just written. I have complete faith in you, Ron and Hermione, that you will complete whatever it is you need to do. I fully believe you will defeat Tom and then come home to me. I am not sure if I will survive if something happens to you, but I know you will want me to try, if it does. But I refuse to think like that. The only way I will survive this separation from you is by keeping positive and by fully believing that when this is all over, we can be together again.
What I feel for you scares me. It is nothing like what I had with either Michael or Dean. It is so much more, so much deeper. I would say I am not entirely sure what it is I feel for you, but I think I do know. It scares me that I can feel that much for you so soon, but then I realise it has been a long time coming. I am not going to say it in this letter as it is something that should be said in person, face to face. And even then, I will need to draw upon my Gryffindor courage to tell you and I am not even sure if I am ready to say those words yet. But I know I have time before you come, I know I have time before I see you again.
I am beginning to ramble now, so I better finish this letter. Please just know that I still care for you and that I will wait for you, no matter how long we have to be apart.
Remember, my heart will always belong to you.
Ginny
HP&GW
Privet Drive — July 1997…..
Dear Ginny,
Oh Merlin, I am so sorry. You must hate me for what I have done. Merlin knows I hate myself. But I felt like I had no other choice but to push you away. I have lost too many people I care about and I cannot bear to lose anyone else, especially you. So please forgive me for what I have done.
Despite the fact that I am writing this letter, which I am still undecided about sending to you, I have not changed my mind about us. Well, at least I don’t think that I have. Even so, I can feel my resolve weakening as I write this. Gin, I miss you so much. I really wish I could still be with you, but I can’t, no matter how much I want to be.
I know you of all people hate to be protected, but I have this overwhelming need to do so. I can’t explain why. I just know it has to do with the depth of my feelings for you. Feelings which currently I cannot even put into words. And it’s not just that. If you were to come with me, I would always be worrying about you, worrying if you were safe, if you were ok. It would be too much of a distraction for me. Please don’t think I’m being cruel when I say this, I’m not trying to be. I just need my focus to be 100% on what I need to do right now.
I also realise now that Tom may still go after you due to you own family being known as Blood Traitors. But I am hoping that my decision helps to reduce the chances of that happening. And I meant what I said at the funeral that I would care if that had been your funeral. I need you to survive this war. You deserve to be able to live your life free from the nightmares of Tom, especially after what he put you through. And even more than that, if I somehow manage to survive myself, then I plan to come back to you. I can’t do that if you don’t live.
The few weeks we had together really did feel like it was something out of someone else’s life, but it is a life I so desperately want to have. For the first time, I was truly happy, despite all the bad stuff happening around us. I mean, even the gossip about me, about us, didn’t bother me for once. And the support and comfort you provided after Dumbledore died helped me more than I can tell you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for that.
The simple fact of the matter is, despite the fact I am currently unable to form the words to express how I feel for you, you have given me another reason to finish off Tom once and for all. Before you, the only reason I had to do so was to avenge the deaths of my parents, Cedric and Sirius. Even what he did to you in your first year I wanted to avenge. I had also accepted that I would probably die and in all honesty I didn’t care if I did, as long as I took Tom down with me. But now, now I want to survive, I want to live, I want to have a future past him, even if I am still unsure if I will be able to. And the reason for all this is you. You make me want to fight for a better, safer world. You make me want to survive to see what it is we are fighting for. But if needs be, I would be willing to die for you, if it meant you survived. Simply put, I am doing this for you, for us, in the hopes we can one day have that future together.
So please for me, try and stay safe, because right now, you have possession of my heart and I need you to keep it safe. I can’t make a promise, but I will try so hard to come back to you.
I miss you so much.
Harry.
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