Just a Talk and That's the Naked Truth by pleurocoelus



Summary:

** Winner of Best Overall and People's Choice in the April Fools Challenge **

The Burrow only has one loo and Harry didn't know it was occupied. Now two identical gits won't stop teasing him or Ginny about it. Something has to be done. Nothing salacious in this story, just embarrassing.
Rating: PG-13 starstarstarstarhalf-star
Categories: The April Fool's Challenge (2017-2), The April Fool's Challenge (2017-2)
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2017.07.15
Updated: 2017.07.16


Just a Talk and That's the Naked Truth by pleurocoelus
Chapter 2: in Which Twin Gits Are Taught a Lesson
Author's Notes:

Harry didn't know how the twin gits learned about the events of that morning: how he had barged into the loo while Ginny was getting ready to use the shower and then received an especially embarrassing Talk from Mr. Weasley. What he did know is that the two of them had somehow discovered it and were now taking every opportunity to make subtle comments to both Harry and Ginny.

Fred and George Weasley were good friends most of the time. Due to being on the Gryffindor Quidditch team together, Harry had gotten to know them fairly well. They were loyal friends who had stood with him while most of the school had thought him to be the Heir of Slytherin. The Weasley twins were always good for breaking up a tense situation or just providing general humour to any situation, but sometimes they just went too far.

It had been that way since the day after Harry had received Mr. Weasley's Talk. Fred and George Weasley had been making various comments, slipped into regular conversation, but clearly intended to embarrass Harry as well as Ginny Weasley. Even back at Hogwarts, they didn’t let the joke die a natural death.

"So, Harry," Fred said as they sat in the Gryffindor Common Room, "Do you want to talk about how to enter the Triwizard tournament?"

"No," said George, "Harry has enough fame and that's the naked truth."

"I don't know how you bare the fame, Harry," Fred replied.

"Lay off it, will you," Ron snapped.

"Lay off what?" asked Seamus Finnegan, who had just walked up.

Fred was about to answer when he and George got a funny look on their faces. Suddenly, green bogies began emerging from their noses. The bogies quickly metamorphosed into bats and the little green animals began attacking the twins.

"Shoo," said Ginny who had been standing behind the twins.

Fred and George needed no encouragement to leave as they ran from the little green bats and fled out the portrait hole.

"Ginny, that's disgusting," Hermione said.

"Serves them right," Ron muttered.

"Well, I think it was brilliant," Harry said. "Those two don't know when to quit."

"Quit about what?" Seamus asked.

"Never mind," said Ron and Hermione simultaneously.

Seamus shrugged and walked off. Ginny flopped down in the seat next to Ron.

"Ugh," said Ginny. "I love those two, but you're right. They really don't always know when to quit."

"We should probably go to Professor McGongall," said Hermione.

"No," said Harry, "I don't want anyone else knowing about it."

"Someone will know about it if those two keep this up," said Hermione acidly. "Anyway, I need to go to the library."

Hermione got up and left without further comment. After a moment, Ron shrugged and left as well.

Harry looked around for a moment, then noticed Ginny was looking at him with an evil glint in her eye.

"So, Harry," she said. "What do you say we take care of this ourselves?"

o0o0o0o0o


At first, Hermione was thrilled to see Harry and Ginny together in the library, but that changed once she realized that they were working on revenge rather than homework.

"Really, you two," Hermione hissed. "You should be working this hard on your studies instead of taking the law into your own hands."

"It's not quite that dramatic, Hermione," Harry said.

"Hermione," Ginny said, "We're just speaking to Fred and George in the language they understand."

"But won't they escalate after this?" Hermione asked.

"Possibly," replied Ginny, "but I intend to give them a stern talking to after we get their attention. I'm not trying to start a prank war, but I have tried talking to them politely."

"Don't worry, Hermione," interjected Harry, "If they don't listen to Ginny after we get their attention, then we will go to Professor McGonagall."

"I'll hold you to that," said Hermione pointedly.

After the revenge-seeking pair had left, Ron dropped into the chair next to Hermione.

"Harry has been spending a lot of time with Ginny. You don't think he fancies her, do you?" he asked.

"They’re just working on their little project. Why? Would it bother you?"

"No, I think it'd be brilliant. I mean, I don't want to really think about Ginny dating anyone, but I think they'd be good for each other. They've both dealt with You-Know-Who and they have a similar sense of humour."

"That's insightful, Ron," Hermione said.

"Don't be so surprised," Ron said. "I've been known to think from time to time."

Hermione laughed and hugged Ron. Somewhere in the back of Ron's subconscious, he finally realized that one of his two closest friends was a girl.

o0o0o0o0o


Angelina Johnson, Gryffindor chaser (though that position was somewhat in doubt since Quidditch was cancelled in lieu of the upcoming Triwizard Tournament) was enjoying her breakfast when someone slid into the seat across from her and addressed her.

"Beautiful morning, isn't it Angie?" Fred Weasley said in her voice.

She giggled. "I suppose it is."

"Of course, it is," Fred said in his own voice. "The birds are singing, the sun is shining, and we get to have double potions today."

Angelina scowled. "Don't remind me," she said as all thought of remarking on Fred's sudden talent for mimicry fled her mind.

o0o0o0o0o


That evening Harry was sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room with Ron and Hermione, as well as Ginny, who seemed to be integrated into their group now. Suddenly, the four sniffed as an unusual odour entered their nostrils. The source was revealed when they looked up to see Fred and George Weasley standing menacingly above them.

"What's that smell?" Ron asked.

"Well, brother dear," George said in Ron's voice, "We spent this evening in the company of one Mr. Severus Snape who insisted that we aid him in his quest to disembowel many small animals and pickle the various parts of said creatures."

"The aforementioned Mr. Snape," said Fred in Ron's voice as well "was under the impression that we were mocking him during potions class by performing a poor vocal impersonation of him. I don't suppose that anyone here knows why he was under such an impression?"

"Give us the naked truth," said George in his own voice.

"They're doing it again," Harry said.

"We tried asking politely," Ginny said, "but you didn't listen. You kept this joke running far past the point of humour. It was funny, at first, once I got past the embarrassment but you didn't know when to quit."

"We just wanted to get your attention," said Harry. "If you kept talking and dropping hints so blatantly, other people would have figured it out and we can't allow that."

"We're not trying to start a war with you, just get you to listen to us since you weren't before," Ginny said firmly.

"We're listening," the twins said in unison.

"This ends now," Harry said.

"And what if we don't want it to end?" asked Fred.

"There's more where this came from," answered Ginny. "I wonder how many little animals need to be disembowelled for potions ingredients."

"Of course," Harry added, "We could go to Professor McGonagall, but I don't want to involve anyone who doesn't already know about this."

"Oi, Harry," Ron said with a smirk, "Mum already knows all about this."

At the mention of their mother, Fred and George visibly paled.

"I'm sure she would love to visit with you during one of the Hogsmeade weekends," Hermione added.

"Never mind that," said George, "we think this joke has run its course anyway."

"Who knew Granger had such a vindictive streak?" muttered Fred as they turned and walked away.

The four friends looked at each other before bursting with laughter.

"Hermione, that was brilliant!" Ginny exclaimed through laughter.

They were still laughing when the twins returned.

"We forgot," Fred said in Ginny’s voice.

"To ask for the antidote," George continued in Harry’s voice.

"I don't know," Ginny said. "When you left like that I thought you didn't want it."

"No, sister dear," George said in his own voice. "We want it."

"We," Fred added in his own voice, "don't want any more detentions from you and your boyfriend's prank."

Ginny had been about to toss them the vial of antidote, but she stopped after their comment.

"What of it? What if I were?" Harry said.

"What?" said the twins in Harry's voice.

"I'm not saying we're dating because we're not, but any bloke would be lucky to date Ginny."

"Thanks, Harry," Ginny said, blushing, "but I'm not sure I should give them this after they proved that they can't keep their mouths shut."

"Oh, let them have the antidote. They can't figure out what we did just from it so we could always do this again. Besides, if they try to analyse it, they won't have any left to stop their vocal tricks."

Ginny looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled sweetly at Harry.

"Okay, but only because you asked, Harry."

The twins thanked Harry profusely as they took the vial from Ginny and left.

"So, do you fancy Ginny, then?" asked Ron.

Ginny blushed and seemed to shrink.

"Ronald!" screeched Hermione.

"I don't know," said Harry. "There was a girl I had liked, but I've really liked spending time with you, Ginny. I'd like to spend more time with you, if that's all right. Maybe at the first Hogsmeade weekend."

"Like a date or just as friends?" asked Ginny.

"I think it should be as a date," answered Harry.

Ginny's smile was radiant.

o0o0o0o0o


A/N:
There you have it. In case I didn't make it plain, Fred and George's voices are altered to that of the person they are addressing.

The effect is intermittently timed so it doesn't always happen. Also, they can't hear that their voices have been altered.

I thought the prank was fitting for Fred and George's incessant comments about The Talk.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

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