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Strong Enough | ||||
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Category: Post-HBP Characters:All Genres: Angst Warnings: None Rating: PG Reviews: 2 Summary: *** The author has been reminded via the e-mail address on file that this story is listed as incomplete and has not been updated in over 2 years *** After the incident at the cemetery and back at the Burrow, Ginny has some thoughts on a certain ex. Hitcount: Story Total: 2474 Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work. Author's Notes: I haven't written in a long time, and I thought I'd give it another try. |
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He didn’t mean it. He couldn’t mean it. That’s all she had. Two sentences to keep her from falling off the edge. She knew in her heart that he couldn’t have been serious, that he would never leave her behind. After all they had been through, he couldn’t just leave. She knew that it would be dangerous, dangerous to be together, but she thought that it would be worth it. She had thought that he felt the same. No. He had said goodbye, it wasn’t worth the fight to him. Had she misunderstood? After all, wasn’t it supposed to be her choice. If they were together it would be Voldemort coming after her. That was his problem, but if she chose to be with him it would be her decision, her fault if Voldemort came after her. He always thought way too much of himself, that all the bad things in the world could all be traced back to him. The egotistical jerk! Maybe all bad things happened because of her! Yep. Not to seem maudlin, but that sounded about right. After all it was her who had let loose a basilisk on the entire school, not him. Maybe that was it, he could fight a basilisk, he could fight the worst evil the world could come up with, but he couldn’t fight for her. How could what they had not have existed? Every touch, every glance? She remembered that time by the lake when it had finally just been the two of them. No Ron to give his gagging faces, no Hermione to ooh and aww, and then sadly sigh. Especially no Dean skulking and no Romilda doing the same. She remembered lying on the grass next to him and wondering if life could get any better. Sure there was heartache and Voldemort was in all their thoughts, but it finally seemed like things were looking up. It felt like they could really do it, that he could really make it through. She had said as much to him and she could swear he said he felt the same, could swear he said it was all because of her. She had believed it too, he would win because of her. She had felt so important then, as though she had already faced Voldemort and come off conqueror. Maybe it had all been an illusion, brought on by euphoria. What they had was incredible. It had to be, waiting that long. But then, it had been her waiting, so maybe it was only that great to her. Maybe it had just been the day, the sun shining; lake glistening with what to her had seemed so much like hope, not only hope but a sense contentment and of course that sense of victory. Clearly she had been too proud. Maybe this was her punishment, her being put in her place. It wasn’t fair! Anytime she felt as though she had finally made progress, had finally stopped being that shy girl, she hit another wall or had to backtrack entirely. She had conquered Tom, of course it had been with his help, but she had done it. That’s why it had seen so perfect. With her he would defeat Voldemort and with him she would always be strong. Had he even really kissed her? Maybe in her delirium of triumph she had leaned forward and kissed him. She had after all been the one to run up to him. Maybe it had all been her, and he just went along for the ride. It seemed weak, but maybe. It had seemed as though he wanted it, oh God, she sounded just like some pathetic story that you would read on a boring afternoon. Had her life really come to this? Had she fallen so far? Was the reality that she had wasted her time on him, that she had thrown all of these years away on a fantasy that in the end amounted to no more than a pathetic drama? And if she had, then it was no wonder. No wonder that she was at home, lying on her bed alone, trying to find a way to make herself move. Trying to find a way to deal with the pain, trying to deal with the fact that he might never have loved her. That she had only been something or someone to pass the time. What a joke. She had been with some jerks, but using Voldemort as an excuse for a breakup was pathetic, but maybe it was his only way out. She could come on strong sometimes, but that was only because she knew in her heart what was right. Or what she thought had been right. Again, she had done it agin. Two steps back. He didn’t mean it! He couldn’t mean it . . . More, she knew that he couldn’t not know her. He couldn’t actually think she would let him leave her behind. They hadn’t been dating long, but they had known each other for years, surely he would know. He had seen her in action, seen her at the Department of Mysteries. He had seen her working in the room of requirement. He had even heard of her infamous Bat Bogey hex! He knew she was strong and capable. He knew she had a temper sometimes and that having all those brothers she fought her way through everything. He knew she was a fighter! That was it! Was she Ginny Weasley or wasn’t she!? Who did he think he was, leaving her behind like this!? He definitely had another thing coming. If he thought her Bogey hex was bad, he was in for a surprise. Suddenly her mind was full of plans, attacked with thoughts, each more devious than the next. She would get even with him, making her doubt all her life, making her doubt his love. Making her doubt that she was even lovable. She would be going with him, and if he didn’t let her, well stand aside Voldermort because you’ve got nothing on this witch! Finally for the first time in weeks, she smiled. |
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