|SIYE Time:1:53 on 17th January 2018|
Memoirs of a Red Headed Witch
By My Wicked Quill
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Category: Pre-OotP, Post-OotP, Post-HBP, Post-Hogwarts, Post-DH/AB
Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Humor, Romance, Songfic
Warnings: Mild Language, Mild Sexual Situations, Violence
Summary: Ginny Weasley was always overlooked. Always the youngest, always the smallest, and was never really given the chance to let her voice be heard. But sometimes the best insight comes from those who were always in the background. Her story of redemption, loyalty and love, proves that she was never just the Weasley brothers' little sister.
Hitcount: Story Total: 96331; Chapter Total: 340
Awards: View Trophy Room
I rewrote this chapter to dig deeper into Ginny's encounter with Voldemort. Most of who she is came out of this time in her life so I didn't feel right about how I had grazed over it.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
“Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me"
-You Found Me, The Fray
And so I tried to dispose of it, in the Prefects’ bathroom.
I was terrified. Tom had turned from the sweet charming boy I thought I knew, to this daunting...demon. He was conniving and he was deceitful. How it took me so long to realize, I will never understand.
I should have noticed the degrading way he spoke about muggle-borns and even half-bloods on occasion. I should have noticed his persuasiveness... He was able to make me think whatever he wanted me to think... I trusted him. And I will never forgive myself for that. Ever.
My plan was to flush it down the toilet. Honestly. I know it wasn't the most genius idea, but at the time I felt I was out of options. I certainly didn't want it to fall in anyone else’s' hands...
"Ginny?" I heard someone call behind me as I rushed down the corridor. "Ginvera!"
It was Percy. He was going to scold me for running in the halls, and I normally would have hexed him for using my full name, but I didn't have the time to stop.
I needed to take back control of my life.
The bathroom was empty just as I figured it would be, but when I swiftly opened one of the stalls I didn't hesitate for the slightest moment to chuck the book into the water. To my dismay, however, the stall was occupied by the dead.
Moaning Myrtle was a ghost I never thought I would actually meet, since she was said to spend most of her time in the plumbing of Hogwarts, she haunted this bathroom and most people steered clear of it. But I did meet her acquaintance, but in a very inopportune way.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" she squealed as the diary flew through her head.
I jumped, startled out of my mind. I used so much force hurtling the wretched diary, I actually wondered for a split second whether she was hurt. Then catching myself, I fled the scene before she could get a glimpse of me.
It wasn't until I had reached the common room that I realized Myrtle had disrupted my plan immensely- I didn't flush the toilet.
The blood rushed from my face. How could I have been so stupid? Yet another mistake to add to my list of blunders.
Taking a breath to steady myself, I turned back around, ready to return to the bathroom and finish the job.
Before I got to the bathroom however, I had a run in with Percy and some Ravenclaw girl named Penelope Clearwater. I was rather surprised to see my uptight brother coming out of an abandoned classroom in mid-snogg with a girl after curfew. But even though the situation was unfortunate, I look back now and think it was absolutely hilarious. Especially Percy’s reaction to being caught. He had just pulled her out of the classroom and pinned her up against the corridor wall when he saw me.
“Ginny! I — w-we- Penny and I- we were just-” The girl’s eyes went wide and she began blushing a pretty pink. Percy was astonishingly red. He was anxiously adjusting his robes and hair, “W-what are you doing here? You- you should be- First I find you running in the corridors, next I see you sneaking out of the common room after curfew?" His rant became more about my indiscretions, than about explaining his.
I looked from him to Penny and back.
His face reddened again instantly, “Yes well, Penelope why don’t you- err- I’ll escort Ginny back to the Gryffindor Common room, and I will see you tomorrow.” I rolled my eyes at his professional tone.
She was gone in a flash and Percy turned back to me, “How about we never speak of this again and, and uh- pretend like this night never happened?”
“Deal,” I muttered.
“What were you doing out here anyway?”
I guess I could have said a number of things. I could have said that there was a psychopathic diary that was out for muggleborns’ blood. I could have said that said diary was doing something to me- something I couldn't explain. I could have said that I was losing most of my memory. I could have said that I was pretty sure I was the one who had written the messages on the walls, with no recollection of doing it. I could have said that I needed help, that the boy in the diary knew all about the Chamber of Secrets....
"I just didn’t notice it was so late…"
As you can guess, I wasn’t able to get the diary back that night.
While I felt lighter without the weight of Tom Riddle’s secrets engulfing me, I couldn’t help but wonder what had become of it. I worried that I had potentially passed the problem to another student and felt guilty that I might have ruined someone else’s life. I was afraid to hand it in to the professors. They were all so intimidating.
Professor McGonagall was a stern woman, but a great teacher. She was the head of Gryffindor and the headmaster's right hand woman. She seemed too uptight to be told anything in confidence. Severus Snape was the head of Slytherin. His potions classroom was in the dungeons of the castle. He had greasy long dark hair and only ever wore black with a grim glare and was as cross as the train station. There was no way in bloody hell I was going to seek him out after class.
I did like Professor Flitwick, he was the charms professor and though it hadn't even been a full year since I'd started at Hogwarts, I knew that Charms would be my favorite class, I had quite an affinity to it, according to Flitwick.
Then there was Hagrid. Rubeus Hagrid was a half giant who lived on the grounds of Hogwarts and he was Keeper of the Keys. He also maintained the grounds and the creatures on it. He was a friendly man from what I could tell. Ron had told me he really liked Hagrid, apparently, Hagrid was the one who collected Harry from the Dursleys’ his first year. He was the one who told Harry that he was a wizard.
But in the end, I decided to keep it all to myself and hope that the diary had just...disappeared.
Despite my efforts, I was drowning in anxiety and was constantly paranoid that someone had found the diary and read all my secrets....and had... figured out what I might have done. This made it even harder to connect with my fellow students. But I was trying. Without Tom's greedy need of my time, I was able to make some acquaintances. But I wouldn't let anyone in. I couldn't.
I decided to try and forget about it. I decided that I was going to throw myself into school activities and school work and friends and anything that didn’t have anything to do with Tom Riddle.
Valentine’s day was approaching and the school was definitely showing the spirit. Professor Lockhart was just as…enthusiastic as a teacher as he was as a celebrity. His lessons were…elaborate. Definitely practiced productions. I wasn’t sure I was actually learning any valuable skills, though.
In the Great Hall at breakfast on Valentine’s day Lockhart announced that he was having dwarfs dressed as cupids running around the school delivering valentines. Utterly cheesy.
But I was 11 and I had a huge crush on a very cute boy. So I did what any other girl my age in my predicament would do.
I wrote a poem.
“What rhymes with lord?” I asked Luna during Defense class later that day. Lockhart had given us the hour to dedicate to making our valentines. He was at the front of the room reading his published collection of poetry out loud under the guise of giving us inspiration. I had suspicion he just liked to hear his own work especially read in his own voice.
Luna looked up from her rather long parchment, it had only been ten minutes but it looked like she had already written a full sonnet. She immediately said, “Blackboard.”
“Hmm. That works. Thanks!”
“Is that going to Harry Potter?”
I blushed, “Yes. But I’m not going to sign it. It’ll be anonymous. That way it’s mysterious.”
“That’s pretty romantic. Although, I’m sure Harry Potter wouldn’t mind knowing it’s from you.”
“No way!” I giggled, “That would mean he would know I like him.”
“But the only way to win in love is to play the game.”
“I think I should be able to at least talk to him first, Luna.” I sighed, “I don’t know why he makes me so nervous.”
Luna kept writing, “It’s probably because of the wrackspurts. They follow him around him you know.”
I shrugged, “Maybe.” Luna was…eccentric to say the least, but these little bugs Luna swore were invisible and flew into your ears and made your brain go fuzzy actually did sound like a good explanation. “Who are you sending your valentine to?”
“Oh, this isn’t a valentine, it’s a poem on the importance of journalistic integrity and the moon phases. I’m going to send it to my father so he can publish it in the Quibbler.”
“How is the Quibbler going by the way?”
“Very well actually. We only had 34 letters to the editor last month claiming our content is rubbish. That’s a whole lot less than the month before that. And we had two whole new subscribers!”
Luna’s father published a magazine called the Quibbler that was not exactly popular. It was mainly because it was constantly publishing articles on creatures that only Luna and her father seemed to believe were real, and conspiracy theories that mainstream wizards didn’t like all that much. I for one, didn’t mind the open minded periodical, not that I really understood it’s content anyway.
“That’s great Luna! Tell your dad I’m happy for him!”
“Are you done with your poem?”
“I think so, here- what do you think?”
I passed the parchment to Luna. She took several minutes looking it over. I bit my lip hoping she’d like it.
“I’d say you’re a natural writer, I’m going to tell father that we may be able to use you one day.”
I beamed, “Thanks!”
Luna’s eyes sparkled, “And the part with that blackboard, it’s really quite good.”
It was after charms a few hours later when it happened. Of course I couldn’t even have one bloody good day.
Us first years were headed out as the second years were headed in. I saw Harry Ron, Hermione, Neville Longbottom and Dean Thomas coming up the stairs and Draco Malfoy and his two loons behind him coming from the opposite direction. And then there was a dwarf-cupid headed straight for Harry. Not that I didn’t like my poem, I just didn’t exactly want to be there when it was sung aloud.
Harry was trying to get away from the dwarf, but it seemed the dwarf was rather insistent. I blushed. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea.
A crowd began to form and the dwarf grabbed Harry’s bag in order to get him to stay still.
“Let go!” Harry snarled. (COS page 237)
Harry’s bad ripped right down the middle and with a crash, all his school things fell to the ground making a right mess. I couldn’t help but feel instantly guilty.
“Deserves it, he does,” Varnie Pullocks, a Ravenclaw boy form my year, said beside me, “After all these attacks.” I wanted to set him straight, I did, I wanted to defend Harry but…I stayed quiet. Something I had been doing a lot of those days. The diary had really darkened my spirit.
“What’s going on here?” (COS 238) Prefect Percy, of course, had come around the corner and was ready to disperse the trouble.
Harry’s last attempt to flee the scene resulted in cupid tackling him to the floor and retraining him against his will.
“I don’t think Harry like poetry as much as you seem to, Ginny.”
The cupid began to sing.
"His eyes are a green as a fresh pickled toad,
His hair as dark as a blackboard,
I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord."
Some of my best work to this day.
But as you can imagine, the laughter was relentless. Even though I could tell Harry wanted to disappear on the spot, he still tried to act as though he found it funny as well. My intent was to be romantic, not embarrass him. I felt rotten.
As Percy tried to shoo away the mirthful crowd, Malfoy swooped in and grabbed something from Harry’s belongings scattered across the floor, that Hermione, Ron and Harry were trying to collect as quickly as possible.
The first years began to move again and just as we were passing Malfoy I got a clear view of what exactly what he was holding.
All color drained from my face and I froze in my spot.
It was Tom Riddle’s Diary.
“Give that back,” said Harry quietly.
“Wonder what Potter’s written in this?” Malfoy jested to the crowd.
I looked from Harry to the diary having no clue as to what to do. Harry met my eyes, I wanted to relay to him everything, to warn him not to keep the diary, but he looked away and narrowed his gaze at Malfoy.
“Hand it over, Malfoy,” said Percy sternly. (COS page 239)
Malfoy grinned cruelly, “When I’ve had a look.”
Percy stood straighter, “As a school prefect-”
He began to open it and just as I was about to shout out, Harry pulled out his wand, “Expelliarmus!”
The diary flew from Draco’s hands and caught by Ron. My shout remained on the tip of my tongue. I swallowed fearfully.
Percy still wouldn’t let up, “Harry! No magic in the corridors. I’ll have to report this, you know!”
I pushed Luna along to continue into our transfiguration class quickly, but Malfoy had spotted me, “I don’t think Potter liked your valentine much!”
Giggles erupted around me and I knew there was no hiding from this now. I covered my face with my hands and ran past Luna and Colin into the classroom.
I don’t think I had ever been so embarrassed.
“Cute song, Weasley!” called Varnie Pullocks from behind me at the entrance of the classroom. I buried my face in my arms at my desk, fuming. “Got a thing for the Heir of Slytherin eh?”
I willed the angry tears not to fall.
“Never pegged you to like bad boys.”
“OH SHUT IT, BOLLOCKS PULLOCKS!”
The whole class froze at my explosion. I was glaring at him, and his blush rivaled one of my own. I felt several pairs of surprised eyes on me, I hadn’t exactly been outspoken since arriving Hogwarts. I hadn’t exactly been myself.
Until that very moment.
The nickname stuck the remainder of his time at Hogwarts. I lied, that was my best work to date.
But I didn’t feel all that guilty; deserved it, he did.
And I had other things to worry about.
I knew it wouldn’t take long for Harry to find the special ability the diary had of speaking back.
What if Harry had seen what I had written about not knowing where I was? About my suspicions? And worst of all, my feelings for him! All there in plain sight- not that he didn’t know them already, but…. the details…. ugh! So I did what I had to do to save Harry from Tom; and myself from embarrassment and possible trouble.
“Is it true that the girl’s dormitory steps turn into a slide if a boy tries climb them?” I asked Luna.
“Oh yes, and when they slip down a whole appears at the bottom and they are sent to Chastis Meadow.”
“It’s where Wrackspurts and Nargles feed off them.”
“Oh. What about the boy’s dorm? Can girls get up there?”
“I don’t see why not.”
I smiled weakly.
“Ginny? Are you alright? You look tired.”
“Of course I am, I’m not tired, I’ve been sleeping like the dead; I don’t even have bags under my eyes!” I touched the skin just beneath my eye lids, they weren’t even puffy!
“No, not physically, you just look tired.”
“Right. Ok Luna, I’ll see you later.”
The boy’s dorm wasn’t that much different from the girl’s, the differences were only the obvious living styles of girls and boys: The place was a mess.
I instantly recognized my brother’s bed and space, and Harry’s as well- he did stay with us over the summer.
It was much harder to find the diary than I thought it would be, maybe because I was rushed, flustered and nervous. Going through Harry’s things made me feel guilty, and made me blush from time to time. I emptied pillows, opened drawers, overturned trunks and finally I found it. I grabbed the diary and meant to retreat, but I noticed what was beneath it. It was a photo of a man who looked just like harry with a woman with long red hair, they were laughing and he was twirling her around.
I had to do a double take because at first glance they looked almost exactly like Harry and…me. Shaking my head, I left, realizing later one it was a photo of Harry’s parents.
ME:What did you tell him Tom?
TOM:Well, well, well, what a surprise, Miss. Weasley. You’ve returned.
ME:Tom, what did you tell him???
TOM:Wondering if I told him all your humiliating little secrets? Wondering if I told him about all your pathetic pinning? Your useless wishing and stupid whining all the bloody time?!
ME:I want to know if you told him- if he thinks that-
TOM:If I told him, you had opened the Chamber of Secrets?
My quill froze in shock. A drop of ink dripped on into the page and disappeared, as all my writing had, only to be replaced with Tom’s elegant scroll.
TOM:Wondering if I told him you were the one behind all the attacks, behind all the students petrified in the hospital wing? That you’re the reason the whole school has turned on him? Unless…unless you still weren’t sure if it was you. Well, let me tell you Ginevra, you’ve brilliantly succumbed to all my intentions.
ME:It’s been you, the whole time.
TOM:God, I had forgotten how insufferably stupid and useless Gryffindors are, well I suppose not entirely useless. I certainly put you to good use.
ME:No I wouldn’t, I would have never!
TOM:Sure you wouldn’t. So I made you.
ME:What is this diary, what are you Tom?
TOM:The question isn’t what am I. It’s who am I?
ME:You… you’re the Heir of Slytherin. You opened- you made me open-
TOM:Yes, you slaughtered that oaf Hagrid’s roosters and used their blood to write on those walls. After all, the rooster’s cry is deadly to the Basilisk: Slytherin’s monster. It was all you. You released Salazar Slytherins’ Basilisk a brilliant monster that kills with just a look, even petrifies any who don’t make full eye contact. You are the only one at fault for Hogwarts’ near destruction, you stupid little insufferable girl are the reason all the muggleborns in this school will finally be put in their place.
Suddenly, it wasn’t ink dripping on to the diary, it was my tears. I had heard of a basilisk before- it was a serpent. Of course Slytherin’s monster would be a snake. I just had no idea how no one had seen it yet.
ME:You will never make me do anything else, Tom. EVER.
TOM:You’ve tried fighting me off all year, unconsciously, but your magic, your strength is weak. You can’t win. You’ll never win. You’re mine, and I will do what I please with you.
I tried to shut the diary. I was trying so hard. But I couldn’t, I just had to read every word. I was strongly compelled to continue writing, and to listen to him and to…truly believe every awful, disgusting thing he told me.
TOM:Oh no, don’t think it will be that easy, you can’t leave now. You won’t be able to get rid of me again by trying to flush me down a toilet, you idiot. How was that even a good attempt? And yet you foolishly, willingly come back.
ME: WHAT DID YOU TELL HARRY, TOM?
TOM: Well, I’m sure you’d be happy to know you didn’t come up in conversation at all. After all, Harry Potter doesn’t spend a moment thinking about you, Ginevra. I just told him what happened 50 years ago, when I was a student and first opened the Chamber of Secrets. I managed to kill at least one muggleborn- that ghost freak you threw me at in the bathroom, but Dumbledore was threatening to close the school, and considering I liked it at Hogwarts, I had to stop. Of course, I didn’t tell Potter it was me. I told him that I had uncovered the person behind the attacks. I ingeniously blamed the whole thing on Rubeus Hagrid. He did, after all, have a strange affinity to dangerous creatures. It was almost too easy. Hagrid was expelled and the school remained open, I closed the chamber and swore I would continue Salazar Slytherin’s work someday. And here we are.
ME: Harry would never believe Hagrid did such a terrible thing, he’ll know you were lying.
TOM:Oh I do believe I did a good job in convincing him. At any rate, you’ll have released the monster and all muggleborns will meet their end before he’s able to put it all together.
ME:He’ll stop you.
TOM:Harry Potter? Please Ginevra, have some dignity, he’s a child, you are a child, he’s not some knight in shining amour. Your obsession with him is disgusting.
ME:You’re the one who is disgusting.
TOM:Fighting words, I see. Well then why don’t we start by putting you in your place. I think we’ll go after the Granger girl you’ve mentioned before.
TOM:She is a muggleborn, you said. You told me all about her love for academia, I’m sure we can find her by the library…
The next morning, I woke up drowsy and with barely any energy. I found myself utterly helpless. I physically couldn’t speak to professors, if not I would’ve turned myself is the moment I was able to finally close the diary the night before. I was trying to stay in bed. The diary was on my pillow next to where I laid my head. I threw it to the floor, and suddenly I was forced to pick it back up. I had no control over my body. My arm unwillingly reached out and placed the diary back on my lap.
Looking around, I saw my Gryffindor scarf hanging over my desk chair. I grabbed it and tried to tie my wrist to the one of the posters of my bed. The scarf slipped out of the knot easily. The knot in my stomach however was tighter than ever.
My dorm mates were all at breakfast, there was a Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff Quidditch game starting in a little while and I wished I could have gone. I adored Quidditch. I had hoped that I would try out for the team and play for Gryffindors one day, but…my hopes and dreams for the future were not so bright. I would be caught at some point, and if did manage to kill a muggleborn…I’d be a murderer, no matter what or who was forcing me to do so.
At the very least, I would be expelled from Hogwarts. Just like Hagrid.
I sat in my bed for a few more minutes, feeling absolutely defeated.
Pick up the diary, Ginevra.
The voice was so clear I jumped.
Get your quill, I need to speak with you.
I began shaking, staring in horror at the closed diary beside me.
I am out of patience, open the diary.
With the force of his words, once again my arm flew out on its own accord. I pulled back, really hard.
Good God, girl, am I really going to have to make you unconscious every time?
I grabbed my arm back with my other hand. Shaking my head.
Open the diary, or I will make you kill yourself.
I let out a strangled cry and reached for the diary. Tears were falling freely and I had never been so frightened.
TOM:That’s much better. But I’m glad to see you can hear me now, with your mind clear and not succumbed to oblivion.
ME:How are you doing this?
ME:What kind of magic forces people to do things and hear voices? You aren’t even a person!
TOM:Oh ho, I am a person, I may not be fully powerful yet and not have a body- yet- but you’re helping little by little with all of that. Can’t you feel me getting more powerful? It’s dark magic, Weasley, the blackest of all. Don’t you feel it in your bones, can’t you feel it in you veins?
ME:No. I just feel weak and sick and I feel complete and total hatred for you.
TOM: That’s fantastic. Now what is happening in the school today?
I stayed still breathing deeply, fighting the compulsion to answer.
TOM: Answer me, you little brat.
I wasn’t strong enough to refuse him.
ME:There’s a Quidditch match. The school will be empty save for few people that don’t care for Quidditch.
TOM:Perfect time to act then. I love that I can now openly have this conversation with you Ginevra. It proves that we are getting closer.
ME:Closer to what?
TOM:Never mind that now. Let’s begin.
I don’t remember anything after that. Absolutely nothing. I don’t have any foggy memories or trance like recollections. Just blank, completely blank spots in my mind. My belief was that he told me exactly what I was to do, and made me do it. Seemed like somethings he could force me to do while I was conscious of myself, and others, things I would never do on my own and would give him a hard time over… he just…took over.
When I came to, I was in the common room seated in the back and completely surrounded by every single Gryffindor at Hogwarts. When my mind was mine again, I whimpered and held a gasp in. A breakdown in front of a fourth of the school was not going to help matters. I was desperate but terrified to find out what was happening.
Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor house was by the portrait hole entrance looking pale and panicked. She began to read from a parchment scroll.
“All students will return to their House common room by six o’clock in the evening. No student is to leave the dormitories after that time. You will be escorted to each lesson by a teacher. No student is to use the bathroom unaccompanied by a teacher. All further Quidditch training and matches are to be postponed. There will be no more evening activities.” (COS page 257)
There was complete silence. I knew there must have been another attack. I knew that I must have… but who?
Who do you think? said the voice in my head.
I flinched. Reluctantly, I looked for a familiar mops of red hair. Fred and George were looking uncharacteristically morose, Percy was, for once, withdrawn and looking lost, and then I found Ron. I couldn’t see very well through the crowds of people, but he was shockingly pale, and I caught a glimpse of Harry beside him, but…no Hermione.
“I need hardly add,” continued McGonagall, “that I have rarely been so distressed. It is likely that the school will be closed unless the culprit behind these attacks is caught. I would urge anyone who thinks they might know anything about them to come forward.”(COS page 258)
Barely thinking twice, I made to stand. I was going to run to her and confess everything, but…Tom was too strong. Too quick.
Tom spoke again, Don’t even bother. Just sit there quietly and don’t make me hurt one of you brothers just to teach you a lesson. As much as I hate blood traitors, you lot are a large pureblood line. I wouldn’t want to spill that blood. That is, unless you force my hand.
Shaking with rage and fear, I stayed put, and McGonagall left us alone.
Chatter erupted, “That’s two Gryffindors down, not counting a Gryffindor ghost, one Ravenclaw and one Hufflepuff,” said Lee Jordan, Fred and George’s good friend. “Haven’t any of the teachers noticed that the Slytherins are all safe? Isn’t it obvious that this stuff’s coming from Slytherin? The Heir of Slytherin, the monster of Slytherin- why don’t they just chuck all the Slytherins out?” He roared. There was tremendous applause.
Throwing out the Slytherins was not going to help. It was me. All me.
Yes, it’s all you. All this pain and suffering, it’s all because of you.
Feeling dizzier with every moment, I moved over to an eerily silent Percy. With a trembling hand, I touched his shoulder. He barely moved. “Percy,” I whispered. “Who- who was it this time?” I nearly choked out.
He remained staring into his hands. I could tell he was devastated. “Penny. It got Penny.”
I swallowed, “Penelope Clearwater? The girl you were-”
“Percy, I’m so…I’m so sorry-”
“And Granger,” He said, brushing me off. “It was another double attack. They were both found around the library.”
My breathing became labored; my eyes stung with tears.
Good job, dearie.
I dashed upstairs to the bathroom, and was violently ill.
The next morning The Daily Prophet ran an article on its front page that read:
ALBUS DUMBLDORE REMOVED FROM HEADMASTER POST AS TERROR AT HOGWARTS INTENSIFIES.
I heard a rumor that the Minister of Magic himself came for Hagrid. They shipped him off to the wizard prison, Azkaban.
I no longer slept. I stayed awake at night staring up into the top of my four poster praying that I would keep conscious. I didn’t want to close my eyes. I didn’t want to let my guard down. There were so many blank periods of time in my life, I couldn’t bare willingly creating more.
The days after Hermione and Penelope were petrified, I watched Harry and Ron becoming more and more discreet, quiet and focused on each other. I hated knowing that I had taken someone Harry felt close to away from him, especially when there weren’t many in the first place. The guilt was drowning me, my forced gag order was suffocating me, my reality made me sick and so was starving me, sleep deprivation was maddening me.
I felt I wouldn’t survive much longer, that is, if Tom didn’t kill me first.
People stopped believing Harry was the Heir of Slytherin, after Hermione. Not that the fact made anything better.
At the very least Tom had been quiet for the most part. He demanded I still write in the diary and he compelled me to divulge more and more of my personal thoughts, more and more of my feelings and he loved it when I spilled negative emotions onto the pages. I couldn’t help but feel as though he was feeding off of my writing. As the days went on I grew weaker and he grew stronger. Clearer in my mind, much more persuasive and evil.
He told me stories of how he’d killed animals as a child, and enjoyed it.
Weeks went on in this fashion. I had tried to visit Hermione in the hospital wing, to apologize to her, to face her even if she wouldn’t know I was there. But Tom wouldn’t let me. After a while, anyway, visitors were no longer allowed in the hospital wing. The school was a dark and dreary place. Just as my life was.
One night, I was watching my brothers and Harry playing Exploding Snap while I sat in Hermione’s usual chair in the common room. My heart was breaking at the fact that she wasn’t there to sit in the chair herself. I stared into the fireplace, wondering how this was all going to end.
“Tough luck it is Ginny,”
“Having to be stuck in here for the better part of your first year.”
I turned to Fred and George who were grinning at another defeat of Harry and Ron.
“Hogwarts isn’t usually this serious,” said Fred.
“You know, besides the whole You-Know-Who and the Sorcerer’s stone incident-” said George.
“And the Heir of Slytherin and the Chamber of Secrets thing.”
Fred half grinned, “Yeah since Harry here stepped foot onto the grounds the school’s gotten much more interesting.”
“Blimey Harry, I’d reckon you don’t have to stir up this much trouble. Just enough to miss a few classes would be good.”
“It’s not Harry’s fault!” cried Ron.
Harry was trying to look like he was enjoying the teasing, but an attractive blush had come to his cheeks. His eyes seemed to darken. Fred and George were making him uncomfortable.
“Oh we’re only joking!”
“Harry gets it; don’t you mate?”
Harry nodded politely.
“Well you don’t have to joke about that. Harry isn’t the Heir of Slytherin, he hasn’t petrified anyone or let any monster loose. Whoever’s behind it all is the worst sort,” said Ron.
I turned back to the fire, retreating into myself.
“I’d say Ron’s a bit wound up.”
“Yeah, must be bothering him not having Hermione around.”
I could picture Ron’s ears turning red and the twins’ eyebrows wagging.
“Oh shut up!”
“Well, Fred, I’m a bit peaked. Wouldn’t you say we’ve beat these two enough tonight?”
“I’d have to agreed, George. Goodnight you lot.”
The got up and started for their room, I got up and followed silently.
“Well goodnight to you too, Ginny,” said Ron.
I was surprised he’d even noticed I was there, I turned to the pair. “Good night, Ginny,” said Harry with a small smile.
“Er… goodnight,” I said and scurried up to my room. Ron was my closest brother, and lately it seemed he was the most level headed of all the brothers I had at the school- that was saying something. As much I was afraid he’d hate me for what I did to Hermione…perhaps… he was the best person to try and tell what was happening to me. After all he and Harry- with Hermione as well- had saved the Sorcerer’s Stone from You-Know-Who’s clutches last year, something none of the other Professors were able to do. They could probably help.
I’d have to at least try and soon, as Tom had seemed to be quieting down. I slept soundly that night.
“I have good news,” (COS page 284) said McGonagall at breakfast a few days later.
All the students began shouting out different predictions, “Dumbledore’s coming back!”
“You’ve caught the Heir of Slytherin!”
“Quidditch matches are back on!” (COS page 285)
I dropped the fork that had been pushing my food around. I waited anxiously. “Professor Sprout has informed me that the Mandrakes are ready for cutting at last. Tonight, we will be able to revive those people who have been petrified,” I sighed a breath of relief. The Professors had been working on an antidote for the victims and it seemed they would finally able to help those students. “I need hardly remind you all that one of them may well be able to tell us who, or what, attacked them. I am hopeful that this dreadful year will end with our catching the culprit.”
It hit me like a bludger. I had no idea about the technicalities of the attacks. I had no idea where I was in relation to them, was I even there? Was I leading the monster? Did the victims even see me?
I had no idea. But if they had seen me at the scene of the crime there was no doubt they’d divulge it tonight. I needed to confess, I needed to tell Ron.
The Great Hall was in the midst of celebration when I hurried over to where Ron was sitting with Harry.
Without thinking I sat beside him, taking deep breaths. He noticed me right away, “What’s up?” he said serving himself more breakfast.
I tried to open my mouth but a huge knot in my throat made it horrendously difficult. I looked around to see if anyone would over hear.
“Spit it out,” Ron urged turning him full attention to me.
“I’ve got to tell you something,” (COS page 286) I managed gritting my teeth. A headache was forming bloody hard.
“What is it?” asked Harry. I had been trying to pretend he wasn’t there, since he made me nervous for entirely other reasons.
Don’t you bloody dare, warned the voice.
I balled my hands into fists to fight Tom. I needed to get this out, but I physically couldn’t get the words out.
“What?” whined Ron.
I tried again, but no sound came out of my mouth.
Harry leaned towards me, “Is it something about the Chamber of Secrets? Have you seen something? Someone acting oddly?” His green eyes looked into mine. I meet his gaze and took a deep breath, the knot in my throat easing up-
“If you’ve finished eating, I’ll take the seat, Ginny,” interrupted Percy, distracting my focus.
YOU’VE DONE IT THIS TIME WEASELY.
I jumped up at the roaring in my head.
“I’m starving…” Percy continued speaking my I wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention. Knowing I couldn’t confess in front Percy, I lost my resolve.
I warned you and I warned you. We are finishing this- TONIGHT.
I ran away from the Great Hall. Utterly terrified, out of options and out of time.
I ran to the diary.
ME: Please Tom, stop this. It’s over, we’ll be discovered in a matter of hours, there’s no point.
TOM:There’s plenty we can do in a few hours.
ME:Please! I’m begging you.
TOM:Groveling is not becoming of you. Now quit your blubbering and listen to me for once. If you just do as I say, the discovery of your involvement will be useless.
ME:What…what do you mean?
TOM:I mean that it won’t matter that they’ll catch you.
TOM:Because you won’t be around to suffer the consequences. You didn’t think that you’d survive our encounter did you, Ginny?
Fear spread its way down my spine chilling my blood.
ME:You can’t do anything to me, you’re just a book.
But I knew it wasn’t true.
TOM:You haven’t been feeling weaker and sicker each coming day? You haven’t felt withdrawn and helpless and utterly depressed? Ginevra, accept it. You know what I’m doing to you. You must know I’ve been taking your happiness, your life, your mind little by little everyday. You, Ginny will be the sole person responsible for my return to full power.
TOM: And the seventh child of a seventh child of a pureblood family no less. There’s strong magic in your blood.
ME:But, you told me I was weak and wouldn’t amount to anything!
TOM:I said a lot of things. Now are you going to do as I ask, of are we going to have to do it the hard way?
ME:What… what are you going to make me do?
TOM: Well, I think it’s time to kill those roosters that replaced the last ones. We have a new message to leave Hogwarts. How does “Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber Forever” sound to you?
TOM:I’m sure the moment your brother and his friend Harry Potter find out you’ve been kidnapped they’ll do everything in their power to come and find you. After all you’ve told me about Potter, I’m absolutely dying to have another… chat with him. If I don’t have time to kill any more mud-bloods at least I’ll have taken down the great Harry Potter.
Me: If you want Harry, then you’ll have to take me the hard way.
I fought so hard that for the first time, I had glimpses of memory of the time that Tom took over. I remember the blood dripping down my hands.
I remember standing in front of the sink in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, which turned out to be the entrance of the Chamber of Secrets. I fought to keep my consciousness, I fought to stop myself from entering the chamber. There was a cold wetness I felt beneath me. I was laying on my back, the stone ceiling all I could see. But the voice- the voice I could hear clear as day.
“You’re dying Weasley. Thank you for all you’ve given me.”
It took a while to register that the voice wasn’t the same eerie whisper, it was a real voice; it echoed off the walls. Blinking, I turned my extremely heavy head to the side and saw a teenage boy staring coming out of the diary.
“Tom… Tom Riddle?”
I was crying, his figure became blurry as my tears clouded my vision. “Let me go.”
“You know I won’t do that. It’s rather ironic, Harry Potter is going to come to try and save you, and his death will be on your hands. It’s not exactly how Romeo and Juliet went, but, the result will be exactly the same.”
“He…won’t come- you said it…yourself…you said… no one cares for me- I’m not- worth risking their lives for,” I sobbed breathlessly.
Tom rolled his eyes, “Merlin, you are so easily manipulated, it’s pitiful.”
I tried to stand, to at least sit up, but I had no energy. I began to slip back in into the darkness. “Please…don’t…. don’t hurt him.”
“Good bye, Ginny.”
I was resisting so hard that I must have given into the exhaustion because world went black.
I remember the first time Harry ever saved my life.
When I awoke, it was with a start. I bolted up right, wet, bloody and cold.
What I saw was a sight I had seen before, but only in my dreams. A young Harry Potter kneeling before me holding a ruby baring sword, the monstrous basilisk slain a few feet off. At first, I thought I must have been dreaming, my wildest fantasies becoming a reality was never what I expected. Yet there he was, looking me over checking to make sure I was alright.
I looked again at the dead basilisk…and then to the diary that was beside him. There was a huge whole gauged into the middle of it. My mind was clearer than it had been in months. My surroundings clicked into place.
Harry- Oh, Harry- I tried to tell you at breakfast, but I c-couldn’t say it in front of Percy- It was me, Harry- but I —I s-swear I didn’t mean to — R-Riddle made me, he t-took me over — and- how did you kill that- that thing? W-where’s Riddle? The last thing I r-remember is him coming out of the diary-” (COS page 323) It was the most I had spoken in weeks, and the most I had ever said in front of Harry ever.
“It’s all right,” He said, his green eyes glowing in stark comparison to his pale sweaty face, “Riddle’s finished. Look!” he held up the destroyed diary, “Him and the basilisk.”
I looked over at the huge beast. It was the largest snake I could have ever imagined. It lay dead, bloodied eyes and face several meters away. It’s lifeless body continuing down the dark corridor of the chamber. There was a large tooth beside Harry, a fang more like, I noticed the basilisk was missing one, and the whole in the book looked like it might have been a perfect fit. “C’mon, Ginny, let’s get out of here-”
I just knew that he wasn’t going to believe me, after my confessions I knew I was going to be expelled, he was going to hate me, all my worst fears ran wild in my mind.
“I’m going to be expelled!” I cried. Ugh I was so disgusted with myself. First, I couldn’t even speak in front of the damn boy and then I couldn’t stop blubbering! Harry was helping me to my feet, but I just couldn’t Goddamn stop. It was as though now that I had my free will to speak poor Harry was going to have to hear it all, “I’ve looked forward to coming to Hogwarts ever since B-bill came and n-now I’ll have to leave and — w-what will Mum and Dad say?”
At the thought, I suddenly would have rather faced the Basilisk.
Still holding the huge sword, Harry was leading me out of the Chamber where a huge red bird was hovering the air, seemingly waiting for us. We stepped over the snake’s carcass carefully and I was just an outright mess.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you came all the way down here; you really shouldn’t have even bothered.”
“Err- don’t say that, Gin, I’m just really glad you’re alright.”
At the sound of the new nickname, the tears came down even faster. I didn’t deserve his friendship; I didn’t deserve his respect. By the looks of things, I almost killed Harry Potter. And I still had no idea what the hell the bird was about.
A minute later we came to a dead end of boulders at the end of a dark tunnel, “Ron!” Harry yelled, “Ginny’s okay! I’ve got her!”
I heard a cheer and some shifting, and then a moment later a gap in the rocks appeared and so did my brother’s face.
“Ginny!” he cried, thrusting an arm out and pulling me through the whole. “You’re alive! I don’t believe it! What happened? How- what —where did that bird come from?” (COS page324) My brother had pulled me into a tight hug and I couldn’t help relax into it for moment before he only too quickly let go and faced Harry as he came through the rocks. Once again I was an afterthought and I still hadn’t stopped crying.
“He’s Dumbledore’s.” Harry replied.
“How come you’ve got a sword?”
“I’ll explain when we get out of here.”
I looked up surprised that Harry hadn’t began confessing everything to Ron about my involvement.
Harry shook his head, “Later. Where’s Lockhart?”
“Back there,” said Ron pointing towards the water pipes that I assumed lead back up to the bathroom. “He’s in a bad way, come and see.”
I didn’t even bother asking what Gilderoy Lockhart was doing in the Chamber with them I just tried to stay small and invisible.
“His memory’s gone,” said Ron. The attractive man was sitting down completely uninvolved, and unaware of his own surroundings. He was humming quietly to himself. It seemed there had been an accident with a memory charm and the man had been rendered useless. He was probably coming down to save me as well, another thing to feel utterly guilty about.
As Ron and Harry discussed and escape plan, I stared at the mysterious bird circling us. As it brushed past me, a tear drop fell from its eye and landed on a small scrape I had on my hand. The scrape vanished. My eyes widened, I had only heard of one animal with healing powers.
It stopped in front to Harry and wiggled its feathers, “He looks like he wants you to grab hold,” said Ron,
“But you are much too heavy for a bird to pull up there.” (COS page325)
“Fawkes,” said Harry. “Isn’t and ordinary bird.”
Fawkes was a phoenix.
The bird pulled us all up and out of the Chamber of Secrets and I wondered briefly if, as I held my Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher’s hand as well flew through the air, if this would be my last memory of the magic of Hogwarts.
Moaning Myrtle was waiting for us in the bathroom when we landed. “You’re alive.”
Harry was cleaning blood off his glasses when he responded. “There’s no need to sound so disappointed.”
I took my first real look at Moaning Myrtle, a fatal victim of Riddle’s. She was staring at Harry like he was something to eat, “Oh, well…I’d just been thinking…if you had died, you’d have been welcome to share my toilet.” (COS page 326) I barely heard what she said, I just remember wondering why she’d stayed in the bathroom, why she’d stay where she was murdered, why relieve the horror again and again?
“Harry!” said Ron as we all left the bathroom. “I think Myrtle’s grown fond of you! You’ve got competition, Ginny!”
I didn’t react. I was feeling so numb. Ron was such an insensitive idiot he wasn’t even worth it; besides, I’d probably never see Harry again so being embarrassed would’ve been pointless. Tears were still streaming down my face, I hadn’t bothered helping find a way out of the chamber and I was just dead weight. I was doing absolutely nothing to help the situation but cry like a baby, and I knew it. Yet, deep down, I still had hope that Harry would someday take me seriously.
I guess like Moaning Myrtle; I was a glutton for punishment.
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