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SIYE Time:2:21 on 29th March 2024
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I'd Rather Fall in Chocolate
By Kezzabear

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Category: Alternate Universe
Characters:Harry/Ginny
Genres: Comedy
Warnings: Negative Alcohol Use
Story is Complete
Rating: PG-13
Reviews: 421
Summary: Ginny's got a new enemy - she's just not sure who it is ... Harry knows what he wants - he just doesn't know how to get it ...
Hitcount: Story Total: 100599; Chapter Total: 8381
Awards: View Trophy Room




Author's Notes:
I know, I know it's been a while. But I'm hoping everyone will be so happy that I haven't actually abandoned the fic that they won't notice the *cough*sixmonthdelay*cough*

After all that, I hope it doesn't disappoint ...




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If Ginny had known that being friendly to Harry Potter meant that he sat next to her and talked to her and smiled at her all the time she never would have agreed to it. It was annoying that he sat next to her because he always used all the gravy, the Git. It was irritating that he talked to her because she didn’t want to talk to the Git who always took the last of the gravy. It was irritating that he smiled at her because he had a really nice smile that tended to make her forget all about the fact that he took the last of the gravy and kept talking to her about Quidditch so that she had a potentially good time talking to him while sitting next to an empty gravy boat.

Ginny pushed her last mouthful of meat around the edges of her plate carefully collecting up all the drops of gravy she could find, scowling at the empty gravy boat in front of her. Harry was prattling on about one of his new cases and the rest of the family was hanging on his every word. They used to hang on her every word. She was the only girl, the famous Quidditch player, the youngest. All things guaranteed to get you some attention in a large family. Now she was competing with Harry Potter, Saviour of the Wizarding world who was thoughtful (he kept trying to help clear away the plates — and so he should since he emptied most of them) and charming (he complimented Fleur even though she was all pregnant and waddley — and he sounded like he meant it) and had a cute little crooked smile that made Ginny want to smile back (which she absolutely did not ever do).

“ — and it meant that we could bring him in!” Harry said triumphantly. Ginny didn’t know who he had brought in and she didn’t really care, she just wanted to eat the apple crumble her mother was going to bring out.

“Eet ees good to see you are wearing a dress, Ginny,” Fleur said conversationally as Molly Weasley left the room, directing a floating pile of plates that the Git had stacked carefully. Ginny raised one eyebrow and glanced down at the blue dress she was wearing and didn’t enlighten Fleur that it had been virtually the only clean thing in her wardrobe by virtue of the fact that Ginny hated doing her washing and hadn’t been near the laundry for days.

“Kind of reminds us you’re a girl,” George added with a cheeky grin.

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t intentional,” Ginny said as she glowered at George. She wondered darkly if all brothers were complete idiots and all sisters-in-law were hard-wired to insult or if she’d just gotten lucky. It was while Ginny was poking out her tongue at George and calculating his exact position opposite her and the appropriate trajectory of her kick that Ginny missed the arrival of the apple crumble and ended up with half a spoonful of soggy apple swimming in lumpy custard. Ginny frowned.

“Hermione made the custard today,” her mother said carefully, smiling a little too widely. The whole family nodded and murmured politely but Ginny could see Percy eyeing it as if it was a malevolent force.

“It’s wonderful, dear,” said Ginny’s father, gamely taking a large spoonful and swallowing hastily.

“Very ... yellow,” said George bravely dipping his crumble in the gelatinous mass. Ginny wrinkled her nose and wondered how she was going to get out of eating it and then realised that one of the benefits of no one paying attention to her was that no one would realise if she didn’t eat it.

“It was really quite simple,” Hermione said, beaming. “I just followed the recipe, it’s a bit like potion making after all. Nothing to it.” Ginny stirred the congealing glob of pudding in her dish and almost missed Harry Potter mumbling under his breath.

“Yeah and she was rubbish at potions too.” Ginny turned her head slightly to see Harry calmly eating the pudding, globular custard and all, while smiling widely at Hermione and nodding in appreciation. The man must have a cast iron stomach behind those washboard abs.

Not that Ginny was looking earlier when his shirt rode up as he reached into the high cupboard to get down a platter for the meat.

Ginny forced her way through pudding and as little of the custard as she could manage. She was no expert in the kitchen but she was reasonably sure it took something special to make custard that you could chew. The Git cleaned his bowl, successfully turned down a second helping and was sitting there as cool as a cucumber, drinking a glass of water, the ice cubes tinkling against the glass. Ginny scowled.

“Careful Ginny, the wind might change,” George said with a smirk.

“Sod off,” muttered Ginny.

“You’ll give yourself wrinkles,” Ginny’s mother said as she began to clear the pudding dishes. Harry leapt up to help her. Ginny rolled her eyes — at her mother’s beauty advice or The Git, she wasn’t fussy.

“Ze beauty potions, zey can only do so much,” Fleur murmured.

“Oh, Ginny doesn’t need beauty potions,” Harry said with a wink at Ginny as he picked up a teetering pile of dishes. Git.

“Zat,” said Fleur, looking down her nose at Ginny, “is a matter of opinion.” Ginny glared at The Git for a moment before turning her gaze on her sister-in-law who sat serenely with her hands resting on her ridiculously large stomach.

“Walter’s opinion of Ginevra is quite high indeed,” Percy said. “It is regrettable that you won’t continue to entertain Mr Smythe.” Ginny rolled her eyes at her brother.

“Yeah, what was wrong with old Walter?” George interjected. Ginny stared at them for a moment. It was difficult to know where to begin.

Walter had been the most recent date Ginny had endured. The night before had found Ginny in a dingy Muggle pub somewhere in Cheshire where the only food on offer looked like something you found in the bottom of one of George’s cauldrons and the beer was flat, and probably watered down.

Ginny stared at Percy and wondered, not for the first time, exactly what it was about Walter that Percy had found appropriate as dating material for his baby sister. Walter was built like a brick outhouse with a thick neck and straggly hair scraped back into a ponytail. He was completely covered in tattoos and wore a dangerous looking spiked earring. Walter apparently thought that The Cock and Pheasant’s Annual Dart Tournament Final was the best place for a first date.

Ginny begged to differ. Walter took his darts seriously and sat Ginny in a corner with soggy chips and ale while he lined up shot after shot after shot. He kept flinging the dart at the board and turning to Ginny.

“How’d you like that, Jenervah?” Walter would ask while lining up the next shot. He hadn’t said her name correctly once all evening, although he was doing better than the time Billy Silter had called her Lucy all through dinner. Ginny still couldn’t figure that one out. Ginny had wondered if taking the dart and stabbing herself with it to get attention was being a tad too dramatic.

Probably.

Mr Smythe,” said Ginny pointedly, “was a complete bore who couldn’t remember my name.”

“He was quite taken with you,” Percy insisted, “very interested.”

“Well he can take his interest elsewhere,” Ginny grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

Walter wasn’t the only disastrous date that Ginny had been on in recent weeks. She’d been at Florean Fortescue’s with Duke Pondsby for three hours before she managed to sneak back to The Leaky Cauldron while Duke was absorbed in his fifth Mega Double Super Sundae with extra cream and nuts. Ginny then stood behind Hermione, smirking, while Ron had received a strident lecture on how ‘People who were a good date for Ron did not make a good date for Ginny’.

Hermione was clearly only pretending to be in Ginny’s corner though because she’d then convinced Ginny to go on a date with Quillon Bellamy who dragged Ginny out of the new pizza parlour on Diagon Alley after she’d eaten only one bite and propelled her to a bookshop to spend the next two hours reading books.

In absolute silence.

Every time Ginny tried to ask him when they were going to leave, he grunted an answer, which Ginny couldn’t hear because her stomach was growling so loudly, and went back to reading. Harry Potter had entered the bookshop just before Ginny faked a fire in the magazine rack and Ginny made such a noise greeting him effusively that the shop owner frowned and sent them out.

“What was that about?” Harry asked once they were on the footpath outside. “I didn’t get to buy the latest Quidditch Quarterly.”

“I didn’t know how to leave!” Ginny hissed. “Quillon kept pulling me back down every time I got up. He kept patting my knee!”

“Who is Quillon?”

“Hermione’s clone,” Ginny grumbled. “We were supposed to be on a date — but I don’t think he understands how to do them!” Harry laughed and Ginny scowled.

“Well, pleased to be of assistance I guess,” said Harry. He tipped an imaginary hat at her and wandered down Diagon Alley towards Quality Quidditch supplies. Git.

“You’re going to end up an old maid,” Ginny’s mother said, rousing Ginny from her unpleasant reminiscing. “It’s so good of your brothers to help you out like this.” Molly Weasley beamed at her sons. If Ginny didn’t know better she'd say they all looked completely shifty in that moment. They kept looking at each other and avoiding their mother’s eyes. Not one of them looked at Ginny. Gits.

“I weel ‘ave to find you a nice French boy,” Fleur said, struggling to her feet and swaying dangerously as her stomach threatened to tip her over. “Ozzerwise you weel never be ‘appy like me.” She smiled at Bill with sickening adoration and Ginny thought she might vomit right there on the dinner table. The custard wasn’t helping.

“We wouldn’t want that now, would we,” Ginny muttered to herself as her family began moving into the sitting room.

“Definitely not,” whispered a silky smooth voice in her ear as Harry Potter moved swiftly into the sitting room.

Git.
Reviews 421
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