This is inspired by the song "If You're Reading This" by Tim McGraw (which I most certainly do not own, I'm just borrowing the concept for this story). I keep hearing it on the radio and this story has been nagging at my brain all day. I'm not usually one for angst-y type stories, so this is out of the ordinary for me. I also never understood how people could frequently write substantial-length letters to one another (for example, Noah writing Allie everyday for a year in "The Notebook"), but now I think I've got a glimpse of that.
Anyway, here is "If You're Reading This".
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If You're Reading This | ||||
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Category: Post-HBP Characters:Harry/Ginny, Hermione Granger Genres: Angst, Romance, Songfic Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: PG Reviews: 4 Summary: A missing moment from DH: Harry finds his mind wandering toward thoughts of Ginny and what life would be like for her should he not survive the fight against Voldemort. Hitcount: Story Total: 3387 Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work. Author's Notes: |
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Harry, Ron and Hermione had been on the road for nearly three months now. This was how Harry preferred to refer to their situation. It seemed more productive than saying they were in hiding. Either way, they had been gone for almost three months. Which might not have bothered Harry so much if he did not miss Ginny. Ginny. They had only dated for a short while, but he had felt more for her than he ever did for Cho. Even now he had such immense feelings for her. His heart broke the day he had to break up with her. If there was one thing he wanted most in the world, it was to be able to be with her; to openly date her; to shout to the world of the nature of his feelings for her. If ever he had a moment free from tracking down horcruxes, he thought about Ginny. He thought about what their life would be like if he never had to leave her. He thought about what their future might be like if she forgave him for hurting her, but most importantly, if he came out of this war alive. If. That was the biggest if. No matter how much he tried to avoid the thought, he might not live to be eighteen. People always die in a war and it would be better that it be him than an innocent person he loved. Like his parents. Or Sirius. He never wanted his loved ones to die. But what if he died and never got to see his loved ones? What if he never saw Ginny again? He thought of her bright flowing hair and brilliant brown eyes. He thought of the feeling he received every time she smiled, especially when she smiled at him. He thought of those few weeks they had spent together. Those were some of the best weeks of his life. Harry realized that he wanted her to be happy. Even if he died, he wanted her to smile again. He knew it would be hard for her to move on, but she deserved a happy life. She needed to move on. With this, Harry resolved to write Ginny a letter. He would tell her exactly how he felt. He would beg her to move on without him. But he could not give her this letter yet. It would be too easy for the Death Eaters to find it and realize her connection with him. And then he would have left her for nothing. He shuttered at the thought that he had left her. It was the truth, after all. But what pain had he put her through in doing so? It was better than being tortured for her association with him, he reminded himself, trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing. Taking no more of the rare time free from thinking of Voldemort, Harry grabbed parchment and a quill and began his letter. Dearest Ginny, If you’re reading this, it means that things have taken a turn for the worse in the fight against Voldemort. Please know that my sacrifice–as I know you’ll think of it–is for you and for your family and for everyone we have ever known and loved. And, more importantly, please understand how much I have loved you. You have meant everything to me. You turned my world upside down. I never knew two people could care for each other as much as we have cared for each other. And, Ginny, I truly believe that I have loved you–with all my heart. I have loved you more than anything in the world and more than life itself. I would also like to thank you. You have shown me what true happiness is like. Even if it was only a few weeks, you have given me something to look forward to in times of peace. You have given me something worth fighting for. You, my darling Ginny, have shown me something Voldemort will never understand, a power I have had over him. And that is the love of a beautiful woman. I had hoped that this would have helped me win the fight against Voldemort. Of course, that fight may have been won. But if you’re reading this, it means that my dreams of a future spent in bliss with you will never be reached. But that does not mean that you cannot live a future as bright as your gorgeous hair. I know that reading this may be hard for you and that, knowing how I have felt about you, you will find it difficult to move on. But you have to. Please, Ginny. I beg of you. Don’t let your smile disappear forever. It brightens a room, you know. And don’t let your genes go to waste. Find someone who makes you happy. Move on with your life. Fulfill your dreams: family–have that little girl we always talked about wanting and may she be as gorgeous as you and fight with your spirit–Quidditch, please. Do this for me, so that I may know you are happy. Your happiness means everything to me. The only thing I would consider greater would be creating your happiness. But again, if you’re reading this, that can’t happen. But please, Gin, if you ever loved me as much as I have loved you, be happy. Love, Harry He rolled up the tear-stained parchment before his tears could render it entirely unreadable. Harry looked up, studying the tent above him. He pictured a grieving Ginny, reading the letter. She was wearing a black dress that covered her from her neck to her black shoes and a black shawl covered her red hair and face. Under the shawl, her mascara ran down her cheeks with her tears. She looked far too old for her age, the tolls of the war and of his death having taken her youth. “Please, Ginny,” he begged the imaginary Weasley softly. “For me.” Just then, Hermione walked into the tent to find Harry crying, a sight to which she was not accustomed. “Are you alright, Harry?” she asked, concern evident in her voice and in her face. Ignoring her question, Harry made his way towards her. “Hermione, will you do me a favor?” he asked instead. “Of course,” she replied, still unsure of his state. “If something happens to me–if I don’t make it out of this–” Hermione opened her mouth to assure him that he would survive, but Harry cut her off. “Hermione, it’s a distinct possibility that I won’t make it out of this war alive. And if I don’t,” Harry looked down, unable to meet Hermione’s tear-filled eyes, “please give this to Ginny.” He handed her the rolled up letter. “Sure thing,” she said, understanding him completely. “Thank you,” Harry replied, wiping a tear from his eye, hoping that Ginny would understand and comply–if Hermione ever had to give her the letter. |
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