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Category: Post-DH/AB Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Angst Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: G Reviews: 12 Summary: What is he to do now that his destiny has been fulfilled? Hitcount: Story Total: 3208 Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work. Author's Notes: Just a short one-shot set immediately after the battle at Hogwarts. All the characters and settings belong solely to the Queen herself; J K Rowling. Enjoy! |
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He closes his eyes and strains his ears, searching out for any sound. There is none. It’s the early hours of the morning and the world is still and calm. A far cry from the chaos and desperation that invaded it just mere hours ago. Mere hours. Feels like a lifetime to him. He is suddenly very aware of the fact that he hasn’t eaten in a long time, that he is need of a shower, that he hasn’t had a proper night’s sleep for over a year. Actually since he was 11 if he was being precise. He sighs deeply, his eyes still closed, trying to let the calmness that he can hear wash over him. But it doesn’t. It’s over now, he has fulfilled his mission. Shouldn’t he feel relieved and happy? He finally opens his eyes, the sunlight illuminating his green orbs. He doesn’t feel happy. Or hopeful or relaxed. He just feels empty, like a vessel without substance. He cannot bring himself to feel anything when he thinks of all that has been lost. Because of him. Due to his actions, so much has been lost. What direction can he take from here? Where does this leave him now? Despite the fact that he is desperately tired, his mind has never been more active and he finds himself wishing he could just switch it off. He looks out over the vast lake that sits before him, a dark inky blue. There isn’t a ripple on the surface. It looks so still that he feels he could walk right across it. But like most things, it is deceptive. He knows the minute he places his feet upon it he will fall straight in. He chooses instead to sit on the grass at the water’s edge. He can feel the dampness from the dew seep into his battle worn clothes, but he can’t find the energy to care. For some reason, the stillness of the lake is bothering him. Why should it get to be so calm when he is not? His fingers push through the earth beside him, grasping around the first hard object they encounter. He curls his fingers around it before tossing it into the water with a casual flick of his wrist. The water is disrupted as a splash echoes through the silence, the serene surface shattered by one small movement. It makes him feel better now that he isn’t the only thing that is disturbed. Like he isn’t alone. As he watches the water wave into stillness once more, his fingers once again reach across the ground and he disrupts the surface of the water yet again. The sun has gotten a little higher now, bursting out across the castle grounds, casting light onto the damage it has suffered during the battle. Will anything ever be whole again? He questions. Can time heal so many wounds that have been so deeply inflicted? He isn’t sure if he will ever feel whole. He doesn’t think that he deserves to. What purpose does his life has now that his mission has been completed? What the hell is he supposed to do now? In a way, that question is more terrifying than what has happened over the past few years. At least with hunting horcruxes and Voldemort he knew what his purpose was, even if he didn’t make it. The fact that he now had a life, a future, all spread out was strange to him. A life where he could choose what path he wanted to take, what he wanted to do, without any person, prophesy or obligation dictating for him. And he was scared of it. Was he right in choosing to come back? Should he have gone with Dumbledore instead? No. He quickly shakes that thought from his head. He was right to come back and fight, otherwise Voldemort would have triumphed and the Wizarding world would have fallen. He sighs once more and rests his arms across his knees. He watches as a bird makes its flight above him, weaving to and fro without a care in the world. He envies that bird. It’s free and happy and knows nothing of suffering. He has always known the opposite. He knows his thoughts are leading him down a dangerous path; one towards bitterness and anger. He doesn’t want to go that way. He needs to pull himself together. Be the strong person everyone thinks he is. He scoffs slightly at that. Strong. One little word that carries such a large burden. To be strong, you have to take lead, don’t give into weakness or temptation, be unaffected and show no emotion to things that distress you. He doesn’t feel strong right now. He feels frail and tired, that the smallest thing could defeat him. He rubs at his eyes. He really should go and get some sleep. It’s been hours, days even, since he last succumbed to slumber. But he can’t face going into the castle. What was once a welcoming home to him now feels like a suffocating prison. The castle is full of people who want to thank him, talk to him, praise him. Get as close to the “Chosen One” as they can. The mere thought of it makes him shudder. The last thing on his mind right now is socialising, no matter how grateful the people are to him. Maybe he could go to Grimmauld Place. No one would bother him there. He could sleep and rest without having to talk to anyone save for Kreacher. But the mere thought of moving right now is exhausting to him so he chooses to just stay where he is. Before he can once more yield to his thoughts, his attention is drawn to a noise from behind him. It’s the sound of footsteps slowing coming towards him and he tenses. The footfalls stop just behind him but he doesn’t turn around to acknowledge who it is. Maybe if he ignores them, they will go away. Then he catches the familiar flowery scent and knows that they won’t go away. And he finds himself not wanting them to. She is the only person he actually wants to be with. The only person in the entire world that he wants with him right now. She sits down close to him and without saying a word, slips her hand into his. And he is mystified. The thoughts and worries that were so prominent and daunting just moments before are suddenly insignificant, pushed away by her soothing presence. And all that matters to him in that moment is that she is there with him. He says nothing, but holds her hand tighter in his. That’s one of the things he loves most about her, she never pushes him, knowing that he will talk when he is ready. They sit in silence as they gaze out onto the lake and at length, she speaks. “You’ve been out here an awfully long time” He simply nods in reply. “You have the right idea though; it’s crazy in there.” Still he says nothing and he knows she doesn’t expect him to. He feels her hand brush through his hair for a few moments before it rests at the base of his neck. He closes his eyes at her gentle touch. And finally, he turns to look at her. And he is amazed by the sight. Her clothes are a mess, her fiery red hair in disarray and there is dirt and blood streaked across her face. But she has never looked more beautiful to him. She smiles softly at him and the hand that was resting at the base of his neck now moves to gently rub his cheek. “Hey” she smiles. “Hey” he repeats, his voice horse and rough. He lets his eyes to sweep over her, allowing himself the simple luxury he has been denied for nearly a year. Soaking up every inch or her. It hits him then how much he has missed her, how being away from her was the true pain; the hard hunt for the horcruxes was nothing compared to the ache in his heart, the void in his soul. He knows he will never be away from her again. Then, like the click of fingers, everything snaps into place. She is his life now. She is his future. As long as she is with him, he knows he can make it through. He lifts up his hand and cups her face, his thumb rubbing gently against her skin. She closes her eyes at his touch and her hand comes up to rest over his. “I missed you so much,” he whispers. Her eyes open and he can see the tears that form at his words. “I missed you too.” And those four simple words calm him, soothe his soul. And for the first time in his life, he knows that everything will be OK. |
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