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Time War | ||||||
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Category: Pre-OotP, Alternate Universe Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Drama Warnings: Intimate Sexual Situations, Mental Abuse, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Situations, Negative Alcohol Use Rating: R Reviews: 15 Summary: REPUBLISHED 5/2014 The final story in the Continuum/Ranimer/Growing Up with Mum and Dad arc. Can the Marauders and their children stop time from spiraling out of control or unleashing a fate worse than Voldemort in time? Please read the previous stories first so the time-travel aspects make sense. Hitcount: Story Total: 64717; Chapter Total: 2550 |
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Chapter 8: How to Mend or Break A Heart 18 December 1976 Potter Manor “Dad, I hope you don’t mind, but I’d really rather go speak to Anwen,” James confessed as he and his father walked into the study. Andrew Potter looked at his son and let his lips curl slightly. “I was quite certain that you would,” the older gentleman stated. “But, before you go, I need to speak with you regarding Anwen. As you know, she is your mother’s cousin, and she has been abandoned by her parents.” “Yeah, when they did that to her… well, we were all appalled. Dumbledore took responsibility for her on behalf of the school, but how could you not be wanted by your parents?” “Indeed. Your mother is quite adamant that she be part of our family –” “Great, it’ll be nice to have someone close to my age around here. She’s born in the same century as I am,” James teased his father. Andrew had been born in 1897 while his wife was born in 1899; they weren’t exactly young, but they really weren’t old by Wizarding standards either. “Yes, yes, James,” Andrew patronised his son with a pat on the head. “I do not think you are quite following me, son. Your mother and I want to take Anwen in, become her legal guardians.” “You mean she’s going to be my sister?” There was a happy glint in James’ eye. “Wicked.” “Yes, well, if we are able to secure her guardianship, there will be some changes to our estate planning and you would no longer be the sole heir to the Potter titles and fortune.” “Dad, you know I don’t really care about those things, right? I mean I’ll do my duty when you’re gone, become the Lord and represent the Potter line in the Wizengamot, but I intend to have a job when I leave Hogwarts. I’m not sure exactly what I want to do, probably be an Auror. If you’re saying you want me to share with her, I’m more than willing.” “I suspected that would be your answer, and I also suspect you realise there are enough properties, investments and savings to make you both quite wealthy. However, due to her not having Potter blood, she cannot take the Potter title. That responsibility will fall to you and your children,” Andrew explained. “So it’s no different from before you decided to take her in,” James replied with a half-cocked smile which he surely picked up from his best mate. “Seriously though Dad, you raised me to be Lord Potter when the time comes, and I will do my best to make you proud.” Andrew pulled his son to him, enveloping him in his arms. “I have no doubt you will.” With a firm pat on the back, Andrew released his son. “Be forewarned, your mother has gone a bit overboard. I’m quite certain Anwen is overwhelmed by it all.” “Which room is hers?” “The large bedroom at the back of the first floor.” Andrew waited for his son’s response. “Her room is bigger than mine,” James mock complained, as if he were seven instead of nearly seventeen. He supposed that was how older siblings complained about their younger. For his part, Andrew just shrugged and laughed. James laughed back and took off for the stairs. He didn’t really care that Anwen’s bedroom was larger. There were quite a few empty, smaller bedrooms on the second floor, where he and Sirius had their rooms. He suspected his parents wanted the distance between the two, regardless of how things developed between them. James knocked on the door and Anwen asked who it was. “It’s just me, James,” he answered. “Oh, come on in.” He couldn’t read her voice to know if she answered with relief or sadness. Upon opening the door, he was surprised to see the changes to the room. Before, it had been painted in a bold green with plaid bed coverings and drapes. Now the room was a pale lavender with sheer white curtains. The bed had a canopy of the same sheer material and purple flowers. Anwen was sitting on the middle of the queen size bed, reading. He recognised the transfiguration text from the family library; it was years ahead of where a normal third year would be. “Anwen, it’s holiday break. Why are you revising?” he teased as he walked in, flopping himself down on his belly at the foot of her bed. He did so with such force it made her pop up and then land a few inches from where she was. She laughed at his antics. “I’m not revising, I’m just reading. I find it interesting,” she explained. “There are so many more interesting books down there, even Muggle ones. My mum says every witch needs to read the “Coventry Castle” series. As she put it, ‘they’re very romantic’.” “Yeah,” Anwen said, her face falling. “Romance probably isn’t what I need to involve myself in right now.” She set her book aside and grabbed one of the pillows from behind her and hugged it tightly. Seeing the disappointment in her eyes, her reached out and grabbed her foot and gave it a squeeze. “Do you know why he’s here?” “I think I do, but I’m not entirely sure. He needed to speak with my Mum about something, first.” Anwen nodded, even as a tear fell. Wanting to change the subject, James spoke. “So, Dad tells me that they’re trying to become your guardians. That’ll make us siblings, sort of.” “Hmmm, James Potter as my big brother,” she said while pretending to play with her imaginary beard. “Does that mean I get to tag along even more than I already do? Steal your clothes and pester you? Make sure you’re left without any gloves when we go flying?” Her smile was so bright and mischievous that he couldn’t help but laugh. “Stuff your siblings did?” “Yeah, all the time, except it wasn’t flying, it was going out to the barns. Honestly, there was nothing off limits to Liddy and Wyn. I wouldn’t have been shocked if my knickers were taken on occasion,” Anwen continued to joke, referencing her younger siblings. After a second, the hilarity of the situation had run out, and she just felt empty at remembering why she and James were able to have this conversation. “Well, I can say with certainty, I have no interest in your knickers, Winnie,” James said with a cocked eyebrow. “It doesn’t seem you’re hurting for clothing either.” The window seat, chaise lounger and desk were all draped with clothes, tags still on, or had bags from Wizarding and Muggle clothing shops piled high. “Mum went a tad overboard.” “A tad?” Anwen replied, stunned at James’ underwhelming comment. “She insisted I needed these things. A whole Muggle wardrobe and a whole new Wizarding one, too? She bought me ball gowns. My family history and your parents’ guardianship will be announced at some ball on Christmas Day. Do you know what it is?” “Yup, it’s the annual Twenty Families Ball.” When Anwen looked at him puzzled, he continued, “The Ball is for the twenty oldest magical bloodlines in the United Kingdom. We all get together, pledge ourselves to upholding order in the Wizarding world, discuss any changes to the membership of the twenty and at age sixteen, children are officially introduced to society.” “Wait, that means you’re going to be introduced this year?” “You got it, sis. It’s not so bad for boys; we’re just forced to dance with the daughters who are of age. For girls, it’s awful. They’re displayed like meat and then after the first of the year, formal requests are put in by men who would like to court the young ladies,” he explained and Anwen looked aghast. “Don’t worry,” he said, putting his hand on her calf and giving it a comforting squeeze. “Dad will never entertain a courtship or set a marriage contract for you, unless you wanted it; or if Sirius gets his head out of his arse.” “I’m not sure I’m ready for all this. Your mother also said something about a Society I will need to pledge and about my being the heir to the lost Parker line. James, I’ve only been a witch for two years. Before that I was just a daughter to a dairy farmer. I don’t know if I’m prepared to be seen as chattel and deal with all these rules and –” she started to cry, which quickly gave way to sobbing. “Can’t things just go back to normal? Everything was fine before Sirius’ birthday.” The boy sat up and pulled the girl to him, wrapping his arms around her and letting her cry on his shoulder for a moment. He comforted her as best he could, mimicking what he’d seen Remus do many times, with many girls. The wolf might not date much, but girls were certainly attracted to him and he was gentle with them in return. When it seemed Anwen was calming down, he removed his wand from his back pocket and summoned the box of tissues from her dressing table and gave them to her. “Thanks,” she sniffled. “Not a problem,” he nonchalantly answered. “I might be a prat at school, but I’m not a complete arse.” “No, you’re not. Maybe if Lily saw this side of you, she’d agree to go to Hogsmeade with you,” Anwen said quietly, which made James’ heart skip a beat. “You really think so?” “Absolutely. She doesn’t detest you, she just thinks you’re a bit of an oaf and attention grabber. She doesn’t appreciate either trait in anyone. Oh, and she thinks Sirius is a horrible influence on you and wishes you two weren’t bookends. I tried to explain to her that you’d never throw him over for a girl, but she claims she won’t even consider you with him around.” “Oh,” James said. “You’re right, I won’t chuck him over just any girl; you maybe–” “No, you won’t because I won’t let you. The two of you are like brothers and regardless of what happens with him and me, your friendship shouldn’t be hurt by it. I can be a big girl and not cause a scene,” she said with a fresh sniffle and new tears. Anwen had already been working through a plan in her head about how she’d live so close to Sirius, knowing what she knew and what could have been, and survive. Love came in many ways, she kept telling herself, she’d be fine without him. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I really think he’s–.” James was cut off by knocking on the door. Anwen pulled away from him and ran her fingers through her hair and across her face. “Who is it?” she squeaked out. “Me,” the voice on the other side said. Anwen’s heart jumped at hearing his voice. She closed her eyes and took in a shuddering breath. “Come in.” Sirius opened the door and looked at his best mate and his… he wasn’t sure what Anwen was other than his Anwen and for a moment jealousy streaked through him at their proximity. “You want me to stay?” James asked her, lifting his wand again to reduce the blotchiness in her face. “Thanks,” she muttered for the spell, even as she shook her head. James eased off the bed and stepped close to her, so he could whisper in her ear. “You might be able to be a big girl, but if he hurts you, I will kick his arse; big brother rules state I have to,” he said and righted himself. “I’ll tell Mum you’ll both be down in a while.” He walked toward the door and put a hand on his best mate’s shoulder. “Don’t hurt her,” he darkly warned before walking out the door. His heavy footfalls were heard on the back steps. Anwen had poised herself for the conversation. James’ parting comment had broken the tension and it left her feeling loved, which she truly needed. She looked up at Sirius, who was a wreck. He appeared to have been crying, and not taking care of himself. She lifted her wand from the bedside table and waved it in front of him. Sirius was surprised by his sudden cleanliness. He looked at her puzzled. “Please, you were dirtier than a pig in eighty degree heat. You were not going to sit on my white bedspread the way you were.” He half-chuckled, not out of merriment, but rather nervousness. He jammed his hands into his hair and ran them through his locks over and over. “A pig in eighty degree heat?” “They roll in the mud to cool off.” He still looked confused. “Pigs can’t sweat, so they roll around in the mud.” “Sorry, Anwen, not getting the reference. Didn’t grow up with farm animals, or books about them. Magical creatures only in my house.” Anwen nodded while looking around, hoping for something to break the building tension. “You can come into the room and shut the door,” she told him flatly. “I suspect you don’t want our entire thing to be public, do you?” “Huh, er, naw,” he stammered out before taking a few steps and kicking the door shut. “Nice room. This used to be James’ great-grandfather’s. He liked antlers, I seem to remember.” “Yup, and plaid. Aunt Julia and I had fun redecorating.” “Aunt Julia?” “Calling her Mrs Potter or Cousin Julia just sounded strange, especially if they’re going to be my guardians now, but I’m not quite comfortable calling them Mum and Dad; I have parents, sort of. It was the best option we could come up with.” Sirius was still standing not far from the door. “You going to sit?” “Yeah, I just didn’t know where…” Sirius trailed off. Never had Anwen seen him so awkward, it just wasn’t something Sirius was. She looked at him, and her heart nearly broke, not just for her but for him as well. “Come here,” she said, patting the bed next to her. “We’ve shared a bed before.” He appeared to be moving in slow motion as he came closer, and Anwen slid slightly to the right so he could have the entire left side of the bed. He sat down, and then removed his riding boots, as to not mar her white bedspread. “Thanks,” she whispered as he settled himself next to her. Then she looked at his feet. “How do you not have matching socks?” “I do, most of the time,” he answered. “I dressed in a hurry, so I could come home with James.” “I swear, Sirius, if you were to ever get all your shite together, at the same time, you might be dangerous,” she sighed, which caused him to bark out one brief laugh. Silence fell over the young couple, and the foot between them might as well have been one of the valleys between the highlands near Hogwarts. Neither would look at the other. Anwen was biting the inside of her cheek so hard she would probably leave sores behind, while Sirius was still yanking at his hair, strands falling into his lap. Finally, after steeling herself, Anwen spoke. “I owe you an apology.” “What?” Sirius replied. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” “No, I did. I promised you last year, after that whole mess with Remus, I promised I would never run away without speaking to you. I did just that when I had James bring me here.” “It’s okay. We’d never ever had that sort of fight before. I yelled at you. I didn’t mean the things I said.” “Which things? All of them, some of them? Did you really mean to imply I was a Mudblood?” Anwen had tried to keep the pain out of her voice, but she wasn’t strong enough; her last words had a definite sting to their tone. “Winnie, little one, of all the things I said, that was definitely something I’m so sorry for. You’re such a bad-ass of a witch, honestly it’s hard to believe you’re Muggle-born.” She turned her head and looked at him, confused. His eyes reluctantly met hers and then he laughed, just a little bit. “Well, that was a horrible apology.” “It was,” she agreed, laughing a bit herself. “I get it, you’re okay with me being Muggle-born, which of course we now know I’m not. I guess I’m a quarter-blood?” “You’d be called a half-blood,” Sirius corrected her. “One set of your grandparents were magical, therefore you’re a half. You’re also from one of the Twenty families bloodlines, means more than just being from a magical family.” “All about the blood-status, isn’t it?” “No...yes. It’s dragon crap if you ask me. Even most of us purebloods aren’t really, they’re more like you. My family, of course, is, but they’re inbred and creating crazy people like my cousin Bella because of it, so you’re better off not being like them anyway.” “Probably.” The silence again fell on them like snow. The first flakes are light, easy to ignore; soon, however, they’ve covered everything with a thick blanket that threatens to weigh down branches and wires. Limbs creak, groan and then snap, falling with enough force to destroy. The building tension and its weight could be more than even their deep friendship could weather. “Sirius, this is silly,” Anwen said, finally turning to face him and forcing her hands into his. “We’ve been best friends. Even if we’re not able to get over this mess and figure it out, we will still need to be social. We’re going to be living in the same damned house and sharing the same parents, for heaven’s sake. Can’t we just talk?” “We can, Anwen, I just…” he still wasn’t looking at her. “I don’t know if you’re going to want me around after I say what I need to tell you. There’s some stuff I need to come clean about.” Anwen looked at the wall behind her new canopy bed, where Aunt Julia had put up a picture of the night sky. It moved so it reflected the sky just outside the room. Astronomy wasn’t one of her favourite classes, and she didn’t find any connection between herself and the stars as they moved. Sirius, however, had the power of the constellations in his blood. Knowing what he was about to say would either make her cherish the picture or beg her new ‘aunt’ to remove it. “Sirius, I’ve been adjusting to the idea of what you’re going to say, ever since our fight that night. Could you at least do me the favour of saying it out loud?” His head whipped to the side, surprised by her bluntness. He knew what he wanted to say, but the words were so strange to him. Anwen had made him feel things he’d never suspected he would, and when he really thought about it, he was terrified by them. Mrs Potter had helped him sort through some of it, but having never heard anyone say loving things to him, he didn’t know how to say them on his own. “Anwen, do you remember the first time we met?” She turned and scoffed at his question. “Of course, we were on the train, that first trip for me. You all barged into the compartment Lily and Eva and some other girls were in and made idiots out of yourselves,” she answered, relieved to talk about something simple. “That’s right. That’s the first time you saw me, right?” “Yes, I think so.” “Do you want to know when I first saw you?” “Wasn’t it in the compartment on the train?” she asked. “No, it was when you went shopping with Dumbledore. It must have been your birthday, or close to it. You looked so tiny next to him. School was on our Easter break, and Mother had taken Reg and me to do some shopping. I’d slipped away from her when I saw the two of you. I followed you around while you got your supplies. I was even there when you did your research on the lake and the mermaids.” “I never...why didn’t you ever tell me?” “Anwen, when is it a good time to tell someone you were stalking them like a hippogriff getting supper? James assured me you’d find it creepy.” “Even after we’d snuck out of the Tower on Friday nights? Even after I pretended to be your girlfriend near Valentine’s Day my first year?” With each question she grew more frustrated. “What about last summer when we spent every day and night together? You couldn’t slip this into our conversations?” She didn’t know why it was upsetting her, but it was. “Winnie,” Sirius said taking her face between his hands and holding it still for a moment. The pair shared a lingering stare, green eyes locked with grey. “I should have told you, but… I couldn’t figure out how to tell you what seeing you that day meant to me, what it made me feel.” “What? I don’t understand.” “I know you don’t, and I’m probably going to mess this up completely. I tried to explain it to Mrs Potter, but I’m shite at this stuff and –” “Sirius,” she said softly, her hands covering his and bringing them back to her lap, her anger dissipated by his confusion. She couldn’t ever bear seeing him upset. “I’m used to how you talk. Just tell it to me, please.” He nodded and nervously shifted himself, although never moving his hands from hers. “Anwen, when I saw you with Dumbledore, I suddenly felt something. You made me feel. I’d stopped feeling anything since the summer before. It took me until today to realise that it was hope,” he told her meekly. “I’d given up on hope,” he uttered even more quietly and unsure. Anwen’s heart broke for him and as new tears fell, she squeezed his hands. “My life was miserable, even with the guys and the Potters in it. Then you showed up that day and you had the headmaster of the school wrapped around your little finger, and you made me feel something and it was magical, little one. It was magic I didn’t get, so instead of approaching you, I followed you, like some creep.” “I don’t really get what you’re saying, or I don’t think I do,” she said with honest confusion. She’d been preparing herself for him to come and tell her they couldn’t even be friends, because he just didn’t see her that way. Now he was telling her something had happened between them before she even knew about him. “What are you telling me?” “I was so fascinated by you. Most Muggle-borns are sort of shocked and get led around through their first shopping like they’re Confunded. More than once, James and I have sat watching them and laughing at the newbies. Not you, you were asking questions and speaking confidently with Dumbledore. I can’t even do that now.” “Sirius, I was terrified by him and Ollivander and Madame Malkin; you know me, I chatter on when I get nervous. Then when we went into Magical Menagerie I nearly had a heart attack at the animals just roaming free in there. I really would have liked to have gotten a kitten that day, but I knew I couldn’t take it back to the farm or the small flat I shared with my mother.” Neither had noticed that while he was speaking, they’d moved closer together. Sirius had pulled Anwen into the V his legs created, while she sat cross-legged facing him. Their hands remained entwined. “I never knew you wanted a cat. Why didn’t you tell me?” “What, so you could run out and buy one for me? No, I don’t need a kitten, regardless of how much I might like to have one. I wished you’d said something that day. It would have been nice to have a friend when I got dropped off at King’s Cross.” “I was too scared to say anything to you. When you popped up in the fourth years’ compartment I was surprised but not shocked, and I felt that hope thing again I liked it. I kept thinking you had so much spirit. Then you shot James and me down, man I wanted to pick you up and carry you someplace we could talk. When I met you in the common room that night, it felt like I’d been given my wish.” “Sirius, I…” Anwen hesitated, her voice so small and soft it was barely heard. The tears were rolling down her cheeks in steady streams and her bottom lip quivered. Even pulling it between her teeth did nothing to quell the shivering. “What are you saying?” “The other night, when you were going on about this bond we have, I knew you were right. I knew there was something special about you from the beginning; it was the other shite that threw me for a loop.” “What do you mean?” This was the part that frightened Anwen the most. “Merlin, little one, my family is a mess and full of bitter, spiteful people. My Mum and Dad openly loathe each another, and take out their hatred for life on anyone in their way. I’ve told you about what they did to me,” he said in a more relaxed tone. “You have, but what do I have to do with your parents abusing you?” “Don’t you see?” he asked, now sounding frustrated. “Because of them I don’t know the first thing about love. Hell, no one had hugged me or told me they were proud of me for years until I escaped my father that night and came here. Mrs Potter told me she loved me, and how brave it was for me to leave –” “It was. Most people don’t have the courage to stand up to their abusers. It’s easier to take it.” “Yeah, well, taking it that night might have gotten me killed,” he said as if the words were something to be tossed aside. “What?” Sirius groaned and shook his head. “Someday I’ll explain all of it to you, but not now, please. Just know my father and uncle were Cursing me and it was bad before I left.” “Oh my god, Sirius.” She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. She ignored the electric current that shot through her when his arms circled her waist, but he did not. He was surer than ever now. It wasn’t until he felt her sobs cascade through her frame that he realised she was crying. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I got away. Mr Potter and my other uncle helped me. Doesn’t matter now, anyway, I’m an adult.” His left hand stroked her spine slowly, while his right went to her head. “I could have lost you. Before I even knew how much… what we… can’t lose you, Sirius. I don’t care if you don’t love me. I don’t care if you help me with this damned super magic thing. Just please, please, don’t leave me alone,” she begged, still weeping. “I know you don’t think of me like that, but it doesn’t matter. Have your girlfriends and we’ll be friends. Go off with girls like Evelyn, I won’t say anything. I swear, you’ll never hear me mention it ever again–” “Whoa, haven’t you heard any of what I said here?” he cut her off, pushing her off him by the shoulders. Again, they stared at one another. “Yes.” The answer sounded defeated and purposeful at the same time. “Anwen, what do you think it means that just seeing you gave me hope?” She opened her mouth and made an unintelligible sound before closing it again. “You know, for a smart witch, you’re really being dumb right now.” Anwen replied by blankly nodding her head. “I’m sorry about Evelyn. I needed to test my theory on all this stuff,” he explained. Anwen’s face was still blank. “Never mind, I’ll explain another time,” he paused and breathed deeply. “This is what I needed to talk with Mrs Potter about, because I don’t get love. I never loved my parents and you know the guys mean a whole lot to me, but it’s not like we talk about stuff like loving each other. None of us are poofs. We’re the Marauders, friends to the end. You are my friend, too.” The word caused Anwen to suck in a breath. They’d be friends, she could live with that. There were timelines where they weren’t together, this must be one of them. Her body began to shake from sadness, but she refused to cry, clamping down on her inner cheek forcefully. Not reacting to Anwen’s nonverbal clues, Sirius continued. “You’re the only person who’s ever told me they love me, for no reason other than my being alive.” Still holding her composure tightly together, Anwen could only react by nodding. “You’re also the only one who I’ve ever said I loved. I’ve never told anyone that since I was a little boy.” They were quiet, exceptionally quiet for a minute or two. It was making Sirius nervous. “Do you have anything to say about this?” “Sirius, I still don’t… what does any of this have to do with you smelling coffee in your love potion and screaming at me about my deceiving you?” His eyes bore into her; she pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them. Suddenly he grabbed her face again and put his forehead against hers. “You’re going to make me work at this, aren’t you?” “Er, I don’t mean to –” “Little one, be quiet. You were right, about all of it. I do know who I smell in my love potion and I know it’s me you smell too. I know my skin tingles when I hold you and I feel better when you’re near me. I knew when I was fourteen there was something about you, and you with me. You’re on this earth to make me happy, when nothing else ever truly has.” Anwen was nodding weakly against his. “Do you understand?” “Yeah, you smell me in your love potion.” “Yes, Anwen, I smell you in my love potion,” he said almost laughing. “Yeah!” she squealed in a very girly way. Anwen let go of her legs and sat up taller before doing her seated happy dance. “So you finally get it?” he asked, hope filling his features. Not wanting to risk words, she smiled wider and nodded. Without speaking, he scooped her up, stood and held her tight. Anwen repeated the action, feeling whole for the first time in days. He made her feel this way, only him. Sirius knew they had to get downstairs and eat supper. He and James were due back at Hogwarts, although it would only be for a few days. His home was wherever Anwen was; a revelation that stunned and excited him. He wouldn’t ever be far from her. “Winnie,” he said quietly, “we need to get downstairs for supper.” “I know, I just don’t want this to disappear.” “It won’t.” “You’re rather sure of yourself, Mr Black,” she said playfully. “I’ve got fate and some crazy binding magic on our side. Forty-some me’s can’t be wrong, right?” Anwen screwed up her face, thinking about what had just been said. “Right.” She reached up to brush his fringe away from his eyes, her finger tracing the fine scar in his eyebrow. He leaned down, closed his eyes and gently brushed his lips against hers. When he pulled back, she had a stunned look on her face. “What?” “That was my first real kiss.” “It won’t be your last,” he promised before covering her delicate lips with his own. They both wore wide smiles as they opened the door and went down to the dining room. Mrs Potter was quite sure she saw the girl skip to the table. |
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