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SIYE Time:6:42 on 27th June 2017


The Perils of a Permanent Marker
By HPmum2014

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Category: Post-Hogwarts
Characters:Harry/Ginny, Hermione Granger, James Potter, Lily Potter, Ron Weasley
Genres: Comedy
Warnings: Mild Language
Story is Complete
Rating: G
Reviews: 16
Summary: James and Al have got their hands on their Dad's permanent marker. Look out Harry and Ginny!
Hitcount: Story Total: 5055
Awards: View Trophy Room


Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.



Author's Notes:
Just a one shot that popped into my head. First go at comedy. Rating is for innuendo and one or two 'bloody hells!' I love little stories about Harry and Ginny's lives with their kids after the war. Hope you enjoy it...




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It's an early Sunday morning in a little village called Godric's Hollow. Some residents were heading for the morning service in the little church. Some children were already up and outside, trying to have a snowball fight with the unexpected snow that fell overnight. Winter was on the way, but the day was shaping up to be cool, not cold.

In the kitchen of a cosy home, thirty year old Auror, Harry Potter was preparing breakfast for his family. Sausages were browning, pancakes were turning and bowls of cereal and a pitcher of milk were placed in readiness on the table.

Two little boys came into the kitchen. When they saw their dad, they cried out, “Daddy, you're back!” Harry smiled and turned to greet his sons with hugs and kisses. He had been called out late in the afternoon, the day before, on a raid at Knockturn Alley, and by the time he got home, his children were in bed asleep.

“It's Daddy Breakfast Day, yay!” said five year old James Sirius.

“Yay,” agreed four year old Albus Severus, who tended to agree with everything his older brother said.

“We LOVE your breakfasts, Daddy. You're better at breakfast than Mummy,” said James. Albus nodded solemnly.

“Whose better at breakfast than Mummy?” asked Ginny cheerfully, entering the kitchen. She kissed the top of her boy's heads, then went behind Harry and slid her arms around his waist and nuzzled the back of his neck. “Good Morning, love,” she said softly.

Harry turned and took Ginny in his arms and kissed her properly on the lips, much to the horror of the boys.

“Ew, gross!” said James, wrinkling his nose.

“Ew!” said Al, but he didn't really understand what was 'ew.' Mummy and Daddy did that all the time, after all.

Harry and Ginny laughed and pulled away from each other, Ginny gathering the paper after she had made herself and Harry a cup of tea, and coming to the table. Harry turned his attention away from his beloved wife, and back to the food.

“Ok, who wants what for breakfast, I've done sausages, pancakes, there's cereal, I can do toast...”

“Eggs?” asked Al, who liked dippy soldiers for his eggs.

“Hash browns!” declared James. Al perked up and nodded.

Ginny laughed. “That's what you get for taking the kids to that Muggle place for brekky that morning. What was it called- Mac, mac-”

“Muggle Maccas!” said James. “Can we go now Daddy? I want a hash brown.”

“I can make hash browns, just not today, boys. We may go to MacDonalds another day, if you are good.”

“There's always a catch,” groaned James, his chin resting on his fist. His mum coughed, and he looked at her. She nodded at his elbow on the table, and he removed it.

“Ok, dippy soldiers with toast for Al, there you go, son. James, you want a sausage and a pancake?”

“Yes please, daddy.” Harry brought it over to the table and placed it in front of James. Harry went back to the kitchen and brought over a plate for Ginny and himself. They all tucked into their food, talking occasionally. Finally they were nearly finished.

“So, what did you guys get up to last night?” he asked, yawning.

“Uncle Ron came over with Rosie, and we played for a bit. He's got a new tootoo,” said James.

“Tattoo,” corrected Harry, chuckling. “What did he get this time?”

“A heart with Auntie 'Mione's name in it.” said James, finishing his juice. “Can I go draw now?” he asked. Ginny nodded.

“Me too?” asked Al.

“Plates and cups on the sink, boys. Your colouring books and markers are on the table in the lounge. ONLY colour in the books, okay, not on the table, on the lounge, on the rug or on the walls, understand,” said Ginny firmly. Both boys nodded and left.

“So, Ron finally got the tattoo he's been talking about for ages. Where did he get it?” asked Harry, chuckling.

“On his chest, right over his heart,” said Ginny. “More tea, love?” she asked, getting up to get herself another cup.

“No thanks, love. God, I thought he might have been a bit more original than that,” remarked Harry.

“I think it's quite romantic. What girl wouldn't want her man to have her name on his body for life, it kind of marks him as hers. I find that sexy,” sniffed Ginny, putting her cup on the table and about to sit down.

Harry grabbed her waist and pulled her on to his lap. “Sexy, eh? So, you'd like it if I got a 'Ginny' tattoo, would you? 'Property of Ginny Potter,” hmm,” teased Harry, kissing his wife.

Ginny giggled. “I like the sound of that. Perhaps tonight, we can find out just where on your body this tattoo should go,” she said, kissing him hungrily, before they were interrupted by a voice in the doorway.

“Don't you ever stop? Mummy, Al needs more paper, he wants to draw some dragons for Uncle Charlie,” said James.

“Harry, why don't you go get the paper for Al, and go take a nap. I'll clean up in here. Breakfast was delicious, as always, thanks love,” said Ginny, giving Harry another kiss, a quick one as she noted James still stood there, watching.

“Why you gotta kiss all the time? I asked Uncle Ron, he told me if he could get used to it, then I had to, too. What does that mean, Daddy?” asked James, following Harry to his office. Harry chose to ignore Ron's comments to his son.

Harry rummaged through his drawers, looking for some paper. He picked up the papers on his desk and put them to one side. A thick marker rolled off the desk and onto the floor. James bent and picked it up.

“That's a really good marker Daddy,” he said. Harry nodded, distracted. He finally found some paper, and used the marker as a paperweight. They left the office, and went back to Al.

“Here you are, Al. Now, can you boys colour quietly? Daddy's going to lay right here and have a nap, okay?” asked Harry, yawning again. “We're going to the Burrow later, if you're good, we might be able to go for a fly.”

“Ok Daddy,” the boys promised. Harry drifted off to sleep, Al was concentrating on his dragon drawings, and James had finished colouring his 'Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle' colouring book.

He decided to practise his letters. He was pretty good at the straight line ones, like A and H, but had trouble with the round ones, like J and G, and especially S. Ginny went past on her way upstairs, stopping to praise their efforts. She tousled Harry's hair.

Harry moaned a bit in his sleep, and rolled over onto his back. His arms were flung over his head, which allowed his pyjama top to ride up, exposing his abdomen. His pyjama bottoms rode low on his hips.

Al giggled, pointing at Harry's belly button.. “Daddy's got an inny, like you, James. Mine's an outy, like Mummy's.”

James had been concentrating on the letter G, and was rather pleased with how it came out. He looked up, showing Al his letter G. Al was pointing to Harry's belly button. Something clicked in James' mind. 'So, you'd like it if I got a Ginny tattoo? I like the sound of that.'

Al looked back at his drawings. “James, have you got a black marker. My dwagons need black around them.”

James looked at Al. “No, but I know where we can get one. Come with me.”

They went down the hall into Harry's office. The marker was right where Harry had left it not long ago. “Did Daddy say we can use it?” asked Al.

“He didn't say we couldn't,” replied James, with childish logic.

“Ok,” agreed Al. They went back into the lounge and Al used the marker to outline his drawings.

“That looks really good, Al,” aid James, impressed. Al smiled proudly.

Harry moaned again, flinging his other arm over his head. His top rode up higher. James went to stand next to the lounge, where Harry lay.

“Al, wanna make Mummy and Daddy really happy?” Al looked up and nodded.

“Let's give Daddy a tootoo, with Mummy's G. Look, we'll put it around his belly button, see. G + an Inny = Ginny,” explained James.

“Did Mummy say we could draw on Daddy?” asked Al doubtfully.

“Mummy said don't draw on the table, the lounge, the rug or the walls. So, it would be okay to draw on Daddy,” reasoned James.

“What do I gotta do?” asked Al, eagerly.

James shrugged. “Let me try first, if I need help, I'll tell you.”

He got the marker and leaned over. With his tongue hanging out in concentration, he quickly did a big black G, all around Harry's belly button.

“Done!” exclaimed James, loudly. Loud enough to wake Harry up.

“Hey boys, how long was I asleep? How's the- what the HELL?”

Harry jumped off the lounge and looked at his stomach. He rubbed it, but it didn't smear. He looked at his boys.

“What did you do?” he asked, astounded.

Al pointed to James. James, who had the permanent marker behind his back, handed it over. Harry paled as he took it, reading the small instructions on the side. “Oh no, no, no, no,” he cried, running up the stairs.

He went straight into the shower, scrubbing furiously, but the mark did not come off or even fade.
The boys sat on their parents bed, waiting to see what would happen. They had an inkling they may have done something wrong. Harry came out of the shower, a towel slung around his waist which he was holding closed with his hands.

Ginny came in to the bedroom, surprised to find the rest of her family there. “Dada,” said 11 month old Lily Luna, making the leap from Ginny's arms into Harry's.

Harry instinctively let go of the towel to grab Lily, causing the towel to drop at Harry's feet. James and Al laughed. Ginny let out a shriek.

“What's that?” she said, pointing.

“Mummy, they're boys bits. You always said it's rude to point,” said James, wisely.

“Bits', said Lily, her head on her Daddy's shoulders.

“Not that, that!” said Ginny, pointing again.

“Geez, Gin, you're giving me a bit of a complexion here. Seems your sons decided to colour in Daddy,” said Harry.

“No, Daddy, we gave you a tootoo for Mummy. G and an Inny spells Ginny,” explained Al, just like James had told him.

“Help me out here, Gin. I can't go to the Burrow like this, your brothers would take the mickey out of me all afternoon. What about work? You know I shower there after we do our physical training. What will the other Auror's think? I'll be the laughing stock of the department,” whimpered Harry.

“Oh, big baby, lay down and I'll get my wand. Boys, go gather your things to take to the Burrow. Remember to grab a jacket,” she yelled as they left to go to their room. She popped Lily on the floor.

“Stay in the corner where Mummy can see you, sweety,” she crooned to Lily. “On the bed, Potter,” she ordered.

“I like it when you take control like that, Gin,” smirked Harry. “Hey!” he said as she pushed him so he fell back spread eagled on the bed. She moved to straddle him. “Now you're talking,” he grinned , his hands on her waist.

“Mummy!” called Al from the doorway.

“Not now, Al, Mummy and Daddy are busy. Go find James. Not now to you too, Mr Potter,” she said, slapping his hands away. She took out her wand. Harry moved his hands to cover his privates.

“Big baby, as if I'd do anything to them! I'm going for the belly button, not them. It's really quite clever, isn't it? It's an inny with a G. I like it. I think you should keep it,” she teased. Harry shot her a look. Neither had noticed Lily head out the room.

“Mummy!” cried James.

“Not now James, we'll be there soon, this won't take long. Now, hold still Harry. Evanesco! Evanesco!
Harry, it's not working. Why isn't it working? I only ever give the boy's magical markers, it should be coming off. Evanesco!”

“Um, Gin, they didn't use the magical markers. They used the permanent marker from my office, the Muggle one.”

“Well, that's just great, looks like your Ginny tootoo is here to stay. Let me kiss it better!” She laughed as she leaned down to plant a kiss on his belly button, when there was a cough at the door.

“Ahem!”

Harry and Ginny shot up, Harry grabbing Ginny around the waist to stop her falling off him. There in the doorway, was Ron, holding Lily, while James and Al peeked around his legs.

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” asked Ron, amused.

“Bwoody,” gurgled Lily, grabbing Ron's hair.

“Good one, Ron, teaching our daughter bad words,” said Ginny.

“Well, I came through the floo and asked your boys where you were, and James tells me you're upstairs getting busy, Al tells me it won't take long, and I find this little one near the top of the stairs. Mind explaining?” he asked, nuzzling Lily's neck and causing her to squeal with laughter.

“Well, you see-” started Ginny, moving slightly off Harry, exposing his new markings.

“What the hell, er, heck, is that?” asked Ron, pointing to Harry's belly button.

James sighed. “They're Daddy's boy bits. Don't you have any, Uncle Ron?”

Ginny smirked. “Oh, Auntie Hermione looks after Uncle Ron's bits for him.”

“Oy, Ginny! gasped Ron, while Harry burst out laughing. Ron noticed James and Al looking at his crotch area, so he deposited Lily on the bed, where she scrambled onto Harry's chest.

“How about I take these two to the Burrow with me now, and you can come through when you're ready,” suggested Ron.

“Yay, can we go flying, Uncle Ron?” Ron nodded, heading the boys out the room. He poked his head back in. “Half an hour, or I'm coming back with Mum and Dad!” he warned, waving as he left.

“Don't tell the rest of the family,” yelled Harry. When there was no reply, he sighed. He knew he would be getting teased all afternoon. He winced as Lily bounced on his chest. He pulled her in for a cuddle. “What do you think of Daddy's new tattoo, Princess?”

“Dada's bits,” said Lily. Harry chuckled. Life was never dull in his family, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Of course, when they got to the Burrow, there was plenty of teasing. Molly and Hermione tried every spell they could think of, but when Molly consulted Gilderoy Lockhart's book, and it still didn't work, she gave up. Hermione came up with the idea of the Disillusionment Charm, and Harry agreed it would have to do for work. Apart from that, he would just have to wait for it to wear off.

Harry did have a bit of revenge on Ron, when, as the family were all sitting down to eat, he whispered something to James, which made James pipe up to ask Auntie Hermione where she kept Uncle Ron's bits, in a jar or in her bag. Hermione glared at Harry, who innocently pointed to Ginny. The family all burst into laughter, as both Hermione and Ron blushed bright red.

Two weeks later, Harry came home. He had spent the afternoon at a Cannons vs Tornadoes quidditch match with Ron, which the Tornadoes won 170-20. It was over within half an hour, so they had gone to the pub for a drink with other Chudley Cannon fans to drown their sorrows, and discuss the possibilities of winning their next game.

Harry left Ron, and was about to apparate home, when he had an idea. He apparated to Diagon Alley instead.

An hour later, he arrived home. He could smell a roast in the oven, and there was a treacle tart cooling on the bench. His mouth watered, Ginny was as good a cook as her Mum. He heard giggles from upstairs, so he made his way there.

He peeked into Lily's room, to see his little Princess in her playpen. He gently stroked her ginger hair, and ran a finger down her satin cheek. She looked up at him with the eyes of him and his mother, but gave him that blazing look that was all Ginny. His heart full of love for his baby girl, he decided to go and see where his boys were. He promised to come back and change her nappy.

James and Al were in the tub. Harry wondered if Ginny knew they had gotten a hold of the bubble mix, and added more. The bubbles were threatening to spill onto the floor, and James was piling them on top of Al's head. Al was making himself a bubble beard.

“Daddy!” they cried when they saw him. “ Did you get the tootoo? Look at all our bubbles.”

“Hmm, I see. Yes, I did, but I want show Mummy first. Does Mummy know about all these bubbles?” he asked. The boys shook their heads. “Where is Mummy?” he asked.

James and Al looked at each other. Harry got suspicious. “Boys, what did you do. Where's Mummy?”

“She's in your room. She's mad at us, and you too, Daddy. ” warned James. Al nodded and sang, “You're in trouble, you're in trouble.”

“Me? What did I do? Stay here, I'm going to find your Mum. And no more bubbles in the bath, understand?” Both boys nodded, as Harry went to find Ginny.

“Let's go put some bubbles in the fish tank,” suggested James.

“Won't we get in trouble?” asked Al.

“Daddy just said no more bubbles in the bath, he didn't say nothing about anywhere else, did he?”

Al shrugged. James was right, as usual.

“Let's go get Lily, we might need her help,” said James.

Meanwhile, Harry went into his bedroom, but there was no sign of Ginny. He heard noises coming from the bathroom that was connected to their bedroom, so he knocked on the door. “Gin, love, you all right. The boys said you were mad at me, and at them. What's going on?”

“Mad! I am beyond mad, especially with you! You never learn, do you. You would think you would realise, you would think, in that tiny mind of yours, you would learn from your mistakes. But no! I may be mad at the boys, but I am furious at you!” she exclaimed from behind her closed door.

“Gin, I have no idea what you are talking about. Please come out, love. I want to show you something,” said Harry.

“Ha, you won't be showing me anything for quite a while, Mister!” snarled Ginny.

Harry sighed and leaned against the door. “Gin, I went and got a tattoo today. I wanted you to see it first. I need to explain,” he said.

There was silence for several seconds, then the bathroom door opened a fraction. Ginny's eyes were visible, but that was all he could see. “Show me,” she said curiously.

He shrugged his jacket off and rolled up his sleeve. On his inner arm, he had a tattoo of an arrow.

“Let me explain. Al drew the arrow, and James did the lettering, see how the J is a bit wonky. That just makes it all the more perfect. The kids initials are at each point of the arrow tip, see-J, A and L. Your G is at the base of the arrow, with your name written along the shaft. G -Inny. See?”

Ginny wrinkled her nose. “I don't get it,” she confessed, still keeping the door opened only a fraction.

“Well, an arrow is pulled back, but it only goes forward. You, my love, are at the base. You ground me, you are behind me, you back me up, that's the G. The 'inny' along the shaft, means you are with me for the journey. Do you get it now?”

Ginny nodded, tears in her eyes. “It's beautiful, and so colourful. The fact that the boys did it, makes it even better.”

“Will you please come out, and tell me what's going on?” he asked gently.

Ginny hesitated, then pulled the door open. She came into the room, and Harry gasped. Her eyes filled with tears.

“I won't be able to leave the house. My brother's will tease me to death. I can't believe you didn't throw that damn marker out. Look at me!”

High on Ginny's forehead was a thick black lightening bolt drawn on with permanent marker. “Hermione was over, and we were discussing whether your Ginny thing had worn off. I mentioned I wouldn't mind getting a tattoo for you, something like a lightening bolt. When I put the kids down for an afternoon nap, I lay down too, and must have fallen asleep. When I woke up, James was standing over me, I think he had just finished. Oh Harry, what am I going to do?”

Harry hid a chuckle as he consoled his wife. He glanced down at his arrow. No matter what mischief his kids pulled, they would propel him forward, and he would strive to give them the best possible life. With his Ginny along for the ride, they could do anything.

Downstairs, James was explaining to Uncle Ron why his parents weren't around. “Mummy's showing Daddy her Hairy tootoo, and Daddy's showing Mummy his shaft,” explained James.

Ron stared at his nephews, and shook his head. He didn't want to head upstairs again, Merlin knows what was going on this time. Something caught his eye. “James, Al, why are there bubbles coming out of the fish tank?”

“Oops,” they cried, racing off.

Ron followed them into the lounge, rolling up his sleeves. “How many fish were there?” he asked the boys, prepared to scoop them out. He saw Lily sitting in the corner in a singlet and nappy, her hands in her mouth.

“Three,” said James, while Al held up three fingers. “But we got 'em out already, 'fore we put the bubbles in. We gave 'em to Lily to hold.”

They all turned to look at Lily, who looked up and smiled at them, an orange tail sticking out of her mouth. With a big gulp, it was gone.

“Ew, gross Lily!” cried James. Al just cried.

Ron went to pick Lily up, as her soggy nappy fell off. “Did you eat the fishy Lilybug?” he asked, wincing as she kissed his cheek, knowing what was last in her mouth. She giggled, patted her tummy and pointed to a cat. It was sitting in the corner of the lounge room, licking it's paws. “Kitty,” she said.

“Cool, it's a cat,” said James and Al, running over to it and forgetting about the fish tank, which continued to bubble over on to the rug.

“What is going on here?” asked Harry, coming down the stairs, Ginny close behind.

“It's ok, I think Lily only ate one fish, your cat ate the rest,' said Ron.

“ We don't have a cat, Ron, because we have fish! What do you mean Lily ate one” asked Ginny, looking around at the mess.

“Had fish, Gin, had,” said Ron, smirking.

“Does that mean we can keep the cat?” asked James, hopefully.

Ginny and Harry just looked at each other, then shrugged.

“Woo hoo!” cried James.

“Why is Lily naked?” asked Ginny.

“Silly Mummy, we didn't want her to get wet from the bubbles, and while she held the fish,” explained James. Ginny nodded.

“Does that mean if a dwagon got in the house and ate the cat, we could keep the dwagon?” asked Al, thoughtfully.

“Meow!” said the cat, running off. The boys started to chase it around the lounge.

“Buddy 'ell,” said Lily, suddenly. The whole family stopped to look at her. They watched as she peed all down Ron's side, then they all started laughing.

Ron sighed. Just another day in the Potter household! Ginny came over and took Lily from him.

“Uh Gin, you've got a little something...”, he said, pointing to her forehead with a smirk.

Later, after Hermione had removed the bat bogeys from his face, he reflected on his nice, quiet house. The kids were asleep, the house was tidy, and there was no signs of any drama, not like at the Potter's earlier.

“They're nutters over there, absolute nutters!” he said to Hermione, as she brought him a cup of coffee.

“Harry wouldn't have it any other way,” said Hermione with a laugh. Ron knew she was right. As usual.




























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