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Not From Others | ||||||
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Category: Post-HBP, Post-DH/AB Characters:Harry/Ginny, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, General Warnings: Dark Fiction, Death, Extreme Language, Mild Sexual Situations, Negative Alcohol Use, Violence Story is Complete Rating: PG-13 Reviews: 348 Summary: She may not have been able to join Harry, Ron and Hermione, but Ginny refuses to go down without a fight. As war approaches, Ginny returns to Hogwarts to resurrect Dumbledore's Army and face the darkest year the wizarding world has ever seen. DH from Ginny's POV. Canon. Hitcount: Story Total: 108186; Chapter Total: 3825 Awards: View Trophy Room |
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Ginny peered down through the window out across the dark yard and into the garden, where she could see Harry, Ron and Hermione huddled round the gate. Hermione was gripping hold of Harry’s arm, and even from a distance and through the darkness, Ginny could make out her expression of horrified concern. ‘You always were a sneaky little spy,’ came a voice. Ginny spun round and glared at Fred. ‘Bugger off,’ she muttered, turning back to the window where Harry was still leaning over the gate, as though he was going to be sick. ‘Oh, there’s no shame in it,’ said Fred cheerfully. ‘We all want to know what those three are up to. Any notes to swap?’ ‘Go away. Don’t you have a twin brother to be looking after?’ ‘Nah… it’s all a bit “eerie” down there, if you get my drift. Get it? Because of-’ ‘Yes, I get it, Fred.’ She frowned. Harry, Ron and Hermione were now heading back into the house, and movement downstairs suggested everyone had decided to turn in for the night. She should have asked Fred if he had an Extendable Ears. ‘I’m sure if you hurry to bed now, you can pretend you weren’t snooping and try to guilt trip Hermione. But you have to let me know what she says.’ Ignoring her eye roll with a cheeky wink, Fred patted her on the shoulder and wandered off down the corridor. By the time Hermione did arrive upstairs, Ginny had followed Fred’s advice and was waiting in bed, sitting up against the pillows pretending to read a book. ‘Oh, hello, Hermione. You’re up late, what-’ ‘Oh, cut it out, Ginny, I know you were trying to snoop on us. I bumped into Fred on the way up,’ said Hermione, amused. ‘That bastard!’ ‘Trust no one,’ laughed Hermione, getting into her camp bed. ‘It was nothing terribly exciting anyway, Harry was just upset about… well, you know.’ Ginny nodded, and with a jolt thought of Mad-Eye. ‘Are Lupin and Bill back yet?’ ‘No, and Tonks has gone home too. It’s just awful, isn’t it?’ There was a pause as they both remembered him, and despite her covers Ginny felt a chill crawl up her spine as she imagined Moody’s limp body falling through the sky. ‘Is Harry okay now?’ Hermione nodded, her worried face golden from the lamplight. ‘I think so. Well, he will be. You know what he’s like, he’s just so anxious about putting people in danger.’ ‘I wish you guys would tell me something,’ said Ginny miserably. ‘I know you can’t, but I’m sick with worry.’ Hermione looked uncomfortable. ‘You know I would if I could. Harry too.’ ‘Yes, I know. And I suppose the reality would frighten me even more. But you don’t have to be specific. I just want to know roughly where you’ll be, so that I don’t feel completely lost.’ There was an achingly long silence, before Hermione whispered, ‘I… I just can’t Ginny. I can’t say anything.’ ‘When I’m of age,’ she said, ‘if you’re still away, you have to make contact with me. You have to let me join. I’ll find you.’ ‘It’s not that simple, Ginny.’ Feeling furious and resentful, Ginny turned off the lamp and rolled over, clenching her teeth so hard she thought her jaw may break. ‘I’m sorry,’ Hermione was whispering desperately. ‘You know I’m so sorry.’ Ginny ignored her. It was all the more painful because she knew Hermione was right. She felt shut out, excluded and ignored, but she knew that her anger was rooted in her own feelings of helplessness. A sudden resurgence of annoyance towards Fred leapt up through her chest as well. No doubt he’d thought it was hilarious to tell Hermione that she’d been trying to eavesdrop like a child, but he didn’t understand the strength of her desire to know what was going on. Her eyes were stinging, and closed them tight to stop herself from crying. Before long, she drifted off into an unsettled sleep. *** The next morning, Ginny’s guilt led her to wake early and bring Hermione a cup of tea in bed. ‘I think I’m just feeling a bit useless,’ she said apologetically, curling at the foot of Hermione’s bed. ‘It’s not your fault at all and I shouldn’t have ignored you like that, but I just really want to help and I can’t.’ Hermione blew gently on her tea and took a sip before saying, ‘I understand. I really do. We’re all sorry. It’s just such an awful time and really what we could all do with is just being honest with each other and sharing the burden, but we just can’t. You will know one day, though.’ Ginny nodded and drank from her own mug, finding herself unable to meet Hermione’s eyes. ‘I just don’t know what I’m going to do at Hogwarts without you all,’ she confessed. ‘Without Harry, you mean,’ teased Hermione. ‘No, not just without Harry. Without you too, and even without Ron. Everything’s going to be so different.’ Hermione glanced at the door and said in a low voice, ‘It will be different. Especially for you. You’ll need to be really careful.’ ‘But it’s Hogwarts,’ replied Ginny, nonplussed. ‘I’m safer there than here.’ ‘No,’ said Hermione urgently. ‘I’m not sure how well our rumours will have worked and you will be a target.’ Another suspicious glance to the door, and then Hermione leaned in close. ‘You need to hide any loyalty to Harry.’ ‘But-’ ‘Shh! Listen! Ginny, you have to listen to me. The best way of keeping Harry safe is if you keep yourself out of danger. Think about Sirius. You-Know-Who knows what motivates Harry, he knows that Harry will come running if he thinks his loved ones are in danger. And Harry’s already come to you before.’ The memory of the Chamber flickered through Ginny’s mind. The water, the looming carved stone, the laughing face of Tom Riddle. ‘I know,’ she whispered back. ‘But while he’s here… I don’t know when you’re planning on leaving but I know that I don’t have long.’ Hermione nodded. ‘Just a few days, I think.’ She hesitated. ‘And I think… perhaps don’t tell your brother… But I don’t think it would be a disaster if you showed Harry some affection before you left.’ The atmosphere changed, and Ginny grinned mischievously. ‘How much affection?’ ‘I couldn’t possibly say,’ said Hermione innocently. They heard a creak on the corridor outside, and Ginny immediately launched into a loud discussion about Lavender Brown. ‘Oh yes,’ said Hermione in a gossipy tone. ‘That’s what I heard too, from Parvati, only-’ Molly opened the door suddenly, carrying a pile of clothes. Her initially suspicious expression immediately changed to a more cheerful smile. ‘Oh, girls, I’m glad you’re up already. Lots to do today! Ginny, I’m terribly sorry but I was hoping you’d keep an eye on the porridge for me. I’ll put your clothes away.’ ‘Oh, sure.’ ‘Now, please,’ said Molly when Ginny didn’t move. ‘As you’re already dressed.’ Ginny threw an apologetic look at Hermione, who looked mildly panicked, and quickly left. She walked down the corridor a bit, then carefully and quietly sneaked back, dodging the creakiest floorboards. ‘-Because I’m sure you can understand my concern,’ Molly was saying, ‘especially as you always were such a hardworking girl.’ ‘Yes,’ Hermione was saying weakly, but Molly continued. ‘And really, I hate to see anyone throwing away so many years of hard work like that, let alone someone my son is so attached to.’ Ginny nearly burst into fits of laughter. That really was very cruel, pulling out the Ron card. ‘I-I understand, I really do, and-’ ‘But I don’t think you do, dear!’ Ginny heard bed springs squeak as her mother sat down. ‘If you could only tell me, or another responsible adult, what the three of you are hoping to do, I’m sure we could figure out a way for you to do it around your studies. There doesn’t need to be any rush after all, and I know how much you love school.’ There was a long silence from Hermione. ‘I… I do, Mrs. Weasley, but…’ ‘Because I’ve never heard of anyone taking time out of school and then returning and getting the grades they deserve. After all these years, I’d hate to see you fail everything.’ Ouch. Ginny could almost see Hermione’s eyes welling with tears. And sure enough, sniffling accompanied Hermione’s trembling voice as she said, ‘really Mrs. Weasley, it will all be all right. We’ve been left clear instructions and I think it’s important that we do what Dumbledore wanted. There’s more important things than… than N.E.W.Ts.’ Ginny shook her head as Hermione burst into tears. She’d heard enough. Her mother was very good at finding weak spots. She headed down to the kitchen to stir the porridge, finding Fred and George busying themselves with coffee. ‘How’re you feeling, George?’ ‘WHAT?’ shouted George, grinning. Ginny scowled. ‘Very funny, I was only trying to be nice.’ George shrugged, still smiling widely. He did look a little ridiculous, half bandaged up like a non-committal mummy. She turned to Fred. ‘Why the bloody hell did you tattle to Hermione like that? You loser.’ He laughed. ‘Well you wouldn’t exchange notes with me.’ ‘Like you have any notes on what they’re up to.’ ‘Don’t I?’ he said mysteriously, raising an eyebrow. ‘What do you know?’ she asked quickly. ‘You have to tell me!’ ‘Tell you what?’ said Ron, walking into the kitchen, Harry yawning behind him. ‘Eugh, the porridge is all burned.’ ‘Oh, bollocks!’ Ginny looked down at the pot. ‘I’ll just stir it in, Mum won’t notice.’ ‘Yes she will,’ said Ron. ‘And anyway, I definitely will. Then I’ll tell her.’ ‘She’s got a big list of stuff for you all to do today,’ said George happily. ‘I’d help but I’m seriously injured.’ ‘Come off it, you’re fine, you can help us out!’ said Ron. ‘Sorry, what? I can’t hear you, I lost an ear.’ Ron’s retort was lost as Molly came bustling into the kitchen, a somber looking Hermione following. ‘No rest for the wicked,’ she was saying. ‘Everyone eat up, I’ve made a list of things to do. I want this house spotless, everyone’s going to chip in. Except you George, dear, you need your rest.’ The next few days were packed with chores, all of which Ginny found quite pointless. In her opinion, if guests couldn’t appreciate the Burrow with all its chaos and charm, they didn’t deserve to be there. Even more frustrating than the chores was her inability to spy on Harry, Ron and Hermione. Molly was determined to keep them apart, and while she appreciated her mother’s efforts, she had long given up trying to wheedle information out of Hermione, so it was a little annoying to finally get close enough to hear whispered conversations, only to have them broken up by her mother. She did hear Harry and Ron having a minor squabble over when to leave, so she knew she only had until the wedding. She was caught in an odd limbo where she was rooting for both her mother and Harry at the same time, wanting him to stay yet also keen to defend his privacy. Vague ideas of being affectionate also came to her, usually at night. She imagined being able to get him alone, kissing him, tangling her hands in that messy hair, feeling his hips against her thighs… Not that it was possible to get any privacy in the house at all. Even when Fred and George went back to their flat in Diagon Alley, the house was so active with cleaning and Order members coming in and out that she wondered if her mother even needed to interrupt anyone. Every now and then, she would be pulled aside by Fleur to be lectured on the plans for the wedding, or asked her opinion (almost always ignored) on ribbon colours, or even, on one occasion, exactly how to do her own makeup with a full demonstration. ‘I ‘ave noticed zat you sometimes go a leetle heavy on the blush, so we must be careful zat on the day zis is not the case.’ ‘I don’t wear blush,’ said Ginny. ‘That’s just my face sometimes when I’m embarrassed. Pale skin and all that.’ Fleur simply looked confused, but thankfully Ginny was spared more insults as Molly came in, looking rather frantic and stressed. ‘Ginny, go and lay the table, I just don’t know what else I can do,’ he huffed, pulling out her list. ‘HARRY!’ she shouted irritably over her shoulder, and Ginny tried not to giggle — she was not sure Harry had ever been treated as one of the family quite like this. ‘Harry, stop nattering with Ron and help Ginny with the table. Ron, come with me, I need someone tall…’ Harry came in, looking a little bemused, and obediently began taking cutlery from the draw. Ginny, followed him with an armful of plates. ‘What’s got Mum in such a flap?’ she asked him. ‘She, er… She found Hermione with a load of Ron’s clothes.’ ‘Oh?’ said Ginny, raising an eyebrow. ‘That sounds rather scandalous.’ He grinned. ‘Much less exciting, I’m afraid, she was just packing.’ ‘That’s a pity, I was hoping we would all be able to have a good gossip.’ ‘Well, you know, if we get any chance to actually talk,’ said Harry, shrugging. Ginny couldn’t help but notice a tone of annoyance. ‘I think Mum thinks that if she can stop the three of you getting together and planning, then she’ll be able to delay you leaving,’ she said in an undertone. ‘And then what does she think’s going to happen? Someone else might kill off Voldemort while she’s holding us here making vol-au-vents?’ Hearing the very thing she had suspected in such a casual tone shook Ginny to her core. The thought of such a monumental task frightened her — it was something people had only believed Dumbledore was capable of. Harry seemed to notice his mistake as soon as he said it, and his face was suddenly very still. ‘So it’s true? That’s what you’re trying to do?’ ‘I- not — I was joking,’ said Harry unconvincingly. It was finally confirmation of the information that she’d been desperate for, but it was perhaps the worst triumph she could have imagined. She stared at him and thought of those sunlit days by the lake, which now seemed years ago in the face of this crushing future he had hinted at. She wanted to run to him, to hold him and to sob into his shoulder, to lock him away somewhere where nobody would find them. The door opened and they both started, fumbling with their cutlery and plates as her dad, eldest brother and Kingsley walked in. ‘I just don’t see how we can prove anything though,’ her dad was saying to Kingsley. ‘You’re probably right but a hunch just isn’t enough, especially as Pius has always been a bit odd…’ Ginny spent the dinner in silence, despite the crowd. Harry was next to her, close enough that she felt she would go mad if she didn’t touch him, but he was carefully avoiding her. She hadn’t felt so broken-hearted since Dumbledore’s funeral, and though there was conversation all around her, all she could do was dully think of the horrors that awaited Harry, her brother and her best friend. She looked around the table, and was struck by how out of all of them there, she was the only one unable to play a part. She looked sideways at Harry. He was speaking heatedly with her father, she could see him clenching his knife. What possible help could she give him? She was nothing but a burden to him. |
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