SIYE Time:8:31 on 16th July 2018

Dudley's What?
By readerslive1000lives

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Category: Alternate Universe, Post-Hogwarts
Genres: Humor
Warnings: Mild Language
Story is Complete
Rating: G
Reviews: 4
Summary: One shot. What happens when Harry and Ginny Potter go to meet Dudley's latest girlfriend? Clearly, she knows who Harry Potter is, but who is she? And will she try to dose him with a love potion once again? Hinny kids not canon.
Hitcount: Story Total: 1782

Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.

Author's Notes:
Just a one-shot. Background on the kids used in all my stories. Enjoy!!!!- Reader


After the war, Harry Potter and Dudley Dursley remained in contact. One could even go so far to say they were friends. They would always meet up at least once a month at a pub in London to discuss what recently had happened in their worlds. So Dudley was present for Harry’s and Ginny’s wedding, which took place the day after they both graduated from Hogwarts (him having redone his seventh year while she moved on to hers), and also attended the celebration party when Harry was hired as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and Ginny as the Transfiguration professor. He was there for all six of their kids births, and planned to be there for the next twin’s births. He was even Allison’s godfather. He babysat the “troublesome twins”- James Harrold and Sirius Remus- regularly. He gave the “bookworms” Albus Severus and Doraline Minerva muggle books to read and taught Allison Delon and Viktor Olliver, the “two-a-sides”, to play football. Harry had met all of Dudley’s serious girlfriends- none of whom recognized him, thankfully- and was present for the premier of Dudley’s boxing coach reality TV show. They were both very involved in each others lives, which is why, when Dudley asked for help picking out an engagement ring, he asked to meet the girl first. This resulted in a story not to be forgotten.

“James, Sirius! You two are going to George’s, so please don’t bother Angelina. She’s about to have a baby and doesn’t need you under her feet. Albus, Dora, Allison, Viktor, you guys are going to the Burrow. Your father and I are going to visit Uncle Dudley, behave while we’re gone.” Ginny Potter’s voice could be heard one friday afternoon, drifting through her and her husbands home at number 15 Lake Martin Lane. “Okay, now go my six year old troublesome twins. Have fun! Now my four year old football players, be careful! And my two year old bookworms; behave for your gandmum. She will have a lot to do so you’ll have to be satisfied with picturebooks, okay? Be sweet! We love you guys! We’ll see you soon!” she said while sending her and Harry’s kids through the Floo. Today was the day they were being introduced to Dudley and his latest girlfriend over dinner. They were to go to a restaurant called Lancaster’s after meeting up at Dudley’s apartment.

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Harry laughed quietly as he watched his pregnant wife grab Floo powder and send their kids through. He just loved her so much. He walked over to remind her they were going the muggle way because of Dudley’s girlfriend. With a huff from her about not being allowed to drive because she was nearing the end of her pregnancy, they left.

When they got to Dudley’s flat, it was weirdly quiet-except for… giggling? Ready to pull his wand, Harry knocked on the door. “Be right there” Dudley called. Not thirty seconds later, the door opened. “Hey Big D!” Harry said, teasing him with the nickname he had gotten as a kid. In truth though, Dudley had really thinned out. He wasn’t exactly small, and Harry doubted he would ever be, but he certainly wasn't the size of a baby whale any more. “Hey cuz, G” Dudley responded. He had called Ginny ‘G’ ever since he met the Weasleys and decided all the names were too complicated. Ginny just rolled her eyes and laughed, used to it by now. “Come in, come in” Dudley said, ushering them into the living room. Suddenly, they heard a thump. Looking to the doorway, they saw a tanned bod on the ground. “Cho!” Dudley gasped, only to have Harry say “Cho Chang?! You’re dating bloody Cho Chang? Hah!” Soon, while Dudley was fretting over Cho, Harry and Ginny were on the ground in hysterics. Never in a million years had Harry thought Dudley would date a witch, let alone only ex-girlfriend. When Harry and Ginny regained their composure, Harry went to help Dudley while Ginny glared at the girl who had already attempted to dose Harry with a love potion twice that week. “Hey Dud, let me help.” He said, pulling out his wand. Dudley responded in panic. “What? No! Doesn’t magic hurt muggles?” Harry just chuckled again. “Well you see Dudley, Cho here isn’t a muggle. She’s actually a witch who was a year above me and in Ravenclaw.” “And his only ex-girlfriend,” Ginny grumbled quietly, though Dudley heard. “Wait- you used to date?” he said, disgruntled by the fact that his girlfriend had once liked Harry. “Yes, though I believe she only liked me for my fame, money, and the fact that I had been with her boyfriend when he was murdered. We don’t hare any feelings any more. Well, I don’t.” Harry said. Ginny, however, was still upset about the last potion incident, and said “Didn’t stop her from trying to slip you that love potion on Wednesday, it's only lucky she had tried to use Amortentia.” “She did what now?!” Dudley was shocked. He had thought she loved him. “Enerverate. Don’t worry Dudley, she still loves you. I think. I believe she was just trying to get a pureblood heir for the Chang line, which she is the last of. You should talk to her- and about her being a witch. We’ll come back tomorrow.” Harry said, while Ginny frowned doubtfully. "Just give me a call.”

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Harry and Ginny did come back the next day, but not until after Ginny had made sure Harry had antidotes to all love potion and had a bezoar on her. When they arrived, Ginny made sure to go in first, while Harry just laughed quietly at the sight of his very pregnant wife in a defensive stance. The sight they saw was not expected, however. Dudley had a huge hand-shaped bruise on his face while Cho appeared to have cast stupefy on herself from the way her wand was positioned. Harry believed he could imagine what had happened last night.

“How could you!” Cho Chang shrieked in a voice so loud she could’ve been heard by the whole of London had she not cast a silencing charm. “I dated you! I pretended to be a muggle for you! And this is how you repay me! Not telling me you were related to Harry Potter! Not to mention the fact you conveniently ‘forgot’ to tell me you were his and the slut’s child’s godfather! Ugh! I’m disgusted.” and then she slapped him. Soon, however, Dudley yelled back. “Me? Me! I heard what Ginny said. You dosed him with a love potion! Amortentia to, at that! Yes, I know what that is. And last wednesday! He has six kids and a pregnant wife! I can’t believe you!”

Yes, something like that would’ve happened, and could’ve gone on for hours. Probably did, in fact. Harry hated to think he was apart of the reason for Dudley’s destroyed relationship, but Cho deserved it. And that whole pure-blood thing was a lie anyways. Cho was quarter-blood, her mum being the child of a squib and dad a muggle. Sighing, he and Ginny set to work in enerverating them. Harry roused Dudley, since Ginny refused to let him anywhere near Cho, but first he healed the bruise on his face. “Thanks, Harry” Dudley groaned when he had woken. He then glared at Cho. “I don’t think she really loves me.” he sighed. “I mean, it might be for the better, since I was mostly going to propose this soon due to dad pushing me, but I really had at least started to love her.” Tears were streaming down his face as he admitted this, and they seemingly couldn’t be stopped. It was stopped rather quickly, though, when Cho groaned. Dudley sat up and accepted some tea from Harry, trying to act nonchalant. Surprisingly, he was succeeding for once. Cho sat up then, sobbing, which made Harry have to cover a snort. Ah, the memories of his relationship with the human-hosepipe. Even Ginny couldn’t help but giggle at seeing Cho sobbing similarly to the way she was after the disastrous Madam Puddifoot's date. Dudley was done, no matter how badly Cho wanted him back, and nothing could change that. Cho left quickly that morning, and was surprised when a year and a half later she received a wedding invitation for Dudley Dursley and Amanda Thomas. Sadly, she broke into tears once again for her lost love, ignoring the fact she had just found out she was pregnant with Gregory Goyle’s baby from a one night stand.
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