|SIYE Time:20:51 on 19th January 2019|
Genres: Romance, Tragedy
Warnings: Death, Mild Sexual Situations
Story is Complete
Summary: Just remember to breathe during the moments that hurts the most. That's what they need to do, breathe.
Hitcount: Story Total: 1247
Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.
Trigger Warning: Miscarriage has a heavy focus within the story.
This is set around a year and a half after Harry and Ginny get married. I estimate 2003, around 1 years before JK. Rowling’s timeline says James Sirius should have been born.
“Mrs Potter,” a voice spoke softly. “Mrs Potter. I’m going to run some quick test on you. I’m going to ask you to remain as still as possible.”
Ginny’s eyes fluttered open, as she woke slowly. Her surroundings bright and unfamiliar at first. Something didn’t quite make sense. Why was she laying in this bland, white walled room? Why did her body feel so sore?
She could see a woman waving a wand over he body. She was wearing a white robe, a healer’s robe. Ginny’s brain started to connect the dots. Bland room and a woman in healer robes… she must be in St. Mungo’s.
“Wh –” Ginny cleared her dry throat. “What happened?”
The healer looked away from her wand work, to look at Ginny’s face. She had a round face, with blue eyes. She looked young maybe twenty seven, which in the world of healers she was a baby.
“Mrs. Potter,” The healer kept her quiet tone as she moved closer to Ginny’s head. “How do you feel?”
Ginny closed her eyes, as a sharp stab hit her stomach. ‘If I was as fit as fiddle I wouldn’t be here now would I?” Ginny spoke sarcastically.
The healer blushed scarlet. “What I mean is… Where do you hurt the most?” She consulted her clipboard that was hovering behind her. “My notes say you took a bludger to the chest. Then fell fifty feet. Does that sound right?”
Memories flooded back to Ginny. She had been playing against the Appleby Arrow’s, when one of their beaters hit a bludger right at her. She had tried to dodge, but it turned out the other beater had aimed at her as well. She missed one, but received the other one straight into the chest.
Ginny nodded at the healer. Her stomach gave another twinge. The healer made a note on her papers, then she moved back to her original position, down by her stomach.
Ginny closed her eyes. Her stomach was cramping terribly. Her chest felt as if a giant was sitting on it. And if she was honest with herself, her head was pounding at her every thought.
Alright Mrs. Potter,” The healers voice made Ginny open her eyes again, making her head throb quickly. “Your injuries were not to extensive, however I would like to keep you overnight for observation.”
Ginny felt too wary to argue. She just wanted her skull to stop pulsating. The healer moved back over towards the head of the bed. “Now, first thing is first. I’m going to help your mild concussion.” She grabbed a potion from the side table. “Drink this, and your head will feel much better.”
Ginny did as she was told. Leaning her head forward, she took the potion for and downed it in one gulp. The result was almost instantaneously, the pounding sensation eased to nothingness. Ginny met the healers eyes gratefully. In turn the healer gave her a small smile, but it didn’t quite make it to her eyes.
“Better?” The healer asked. Without waiting for an answer she pressed on, “I’m going to go and get the healing salve for your chest.” Halfway to the exit the healer stopped and turn back to Ginny. “We have contacted your husband and your other emergency contact of your mother. I have been informed that your mother should be here within the hour. Your husband however –”
Ginny cut of the healer before she could say where Harry was, “My husband is out of town on a mission. Yeah I know. Thanks healer…”
“Healer Abigail Holmes.”
“Thank Healer Holmes.” Abigail smiled, again the warmth didn’t reach her eyes. With a small wave and a promise to be back in a few, she left the room.
Ginny sat back against her pillows. Without her throbbing head she could think clearly. Her mother was going to be there soon, which was nice, but something struck Ginny as odd. She had been in St. Mungo’s before, when Harry was away, and they never called her mother. Healer Holmes had said it wasn’t so bad, so why were they calling in her mother?
Something more must be going on. Ginny’s lower torso gave another jab. She tried to keep her breathing even. It wouldn’t be good for her to panic, when she didn’t know if there was really a reason to panic.
Though she was strong and independent woman, she still wanted Harry to be there with her. If he had been home, he would be right next to her holding her hand, telling her she was overreacting.
The door on the other side of the room opened, letting in Molly Weasley. Ginny’s mother’s hair was going every which way. She was still wearing a apron, which had some flour spilled on it. Molly made a beeline for her daughter.
“Oh Ginny dear,” Molly cried. “I heard about the fall on the wireless. They made it sound bad. How bad was it?”
Ginny put up a hand to stop Molly from slaughtering her with questions, or pulling her into a bone breaking hug. “Mum, I’m fine. The healer has already been in and said it wasn’t so bad. She just left to go and grab something to fix my chest.”
Molly nodded, but started to fuss over her daughters pillow. “Good, I was worried dear.” Once she finished her pillowing fixing, Molly looked around the room. “Where is Harry. I would have thought he would be here.”
Ginny resisted sighing, “He’s on a mission. Actually he is supposed to be back tomorrow, so that means he can be the one to take me home.” That thought alone cheered Ginny up slightly. He would be home in time to sit around the house with her.
It was a common theme with the couple. If one of them got hurt, the other would stay home in recovery with the injured. It was a good way for them to reconnected with each other. With jobs that took them away from one another they never passed up a chance to spend a day lounging around the house with each other.
Molly nodded her acceptance. “Ok, well. I will just stay with you until the healer gets back. Just to make sure everything was fine.”
Ginny knew better than to argue with her mother. Instead she closed her eyes, trying to ignore the pain in her chest and abdomen. Molly sat in the chair next to Ginny’s bed, pulling knitting materials from what seemed like nowhere.
The two stayed in compatible silence. When the door final opened, Ginny was half asleep, not wanting to move. So she settled for opening one eye. Healer Holmes walked in carrying a large tube of what looked like yellow paste. Someone new joined the healing pack. This time a middle age witch with long dirty blonde hair and brown eyes.
“Hello,” Healer Holmes said as she approached. She was looking at Ginny’s mother. “You must be Mrs. Weasley. I’m glad you're here.”
Molly put down her busy work, looking apprehensive. “Is something more serious than you told Ginny?”
Holmes took a deep breath. “From my standpoint no,” She said cautiously. Ginny had a feeling this was a political answer, telling the truth but not all of it.
Ginny decided now was the time to become fully alert. She sat up, drawing all eyes to her. “Ok, so why do you need an accomplice?” Ginny forced her voice to remain calm.
Taking another deep breath, Holmes gestured to her companion. “This is Healer Joel.” Taking a moment pause, Healer Holmes came to Ginny’s side. “Mrs. Potter were you aware that you were pregnant?”
Ginny felt like she had been doused with ice cold water. Pregnant? No she couldn’t be pregnant. She would know if there was another living being inside of her. Ginny looked over at her mother. Molly had both of her hands covering her mouth, her eyes lit up like a tree at Christmas.
Ginny turned her attention back to Healer Holmes. The healer did not look like Ginny would have expected. She assumed that if you were telling someone they were about to become a mother that there would be joy your eyes. Holmes however looked sad. That is when the first alarm bell went off in Ginny’s head. She replayed the sentence in her head. ‘“Mrs. Potter were you aware that you were pregnant?”’ Were? Why would she say were? Wouldn’t the correct word be are?
Ginny finally found her voice, “No, but why do you say were?”
Holmes glanced back at Healer Joel, clearly signaling for the the other healer to step in. Joel moved next to Ginny’s head. “Hello Ginny. May I call you Ginny?” Joel asked. Her voice was pleasant, soothing really. Ginny nodded at the request. Joel pressed on, “Ginny, your hCG level are high, indicating that have been pregnant.” The cold washed over Ginny again numbing her fingers and toes. “However, when you were brought in you had experienced a lot of bleeding. Healer Holmes showed me your results, but we have reason to believe that you had a miscarriage.”
Ginny’s breath started coming out in sharp gasps. She heard mother give a small sob. Her mouth feel open as she stared at Joel. Joel gestured at Holmes, who took her want and performed several spells over Ginny’s abdomen. Joel turned her attention back to Ginny.
Ginny’s brain couldn’t catch up. She had been pregnant. Had. She wasn’t any longer. How could that happen? Then a painful thought came to her, causing her to find her voice. “Quidditch?” Ginny’s voice was gruff, as if she hadn’t had water in years. “Did I –” She couldn’t finish her sentence. Had she caused this, by the accident today?
Joel seemed to understand her train of thought. Grabbing her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze she said, “No Ginny. The accident didn’t cause this.” Her voice was firm. “We believe that this would have happened no matter what. It’s actually common for first time pregnancies. Nothing you have done made this happen.”
Molly moved over and gave Ginny’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. Turning to Joel she asked, “How far along was Ginny?”
Joel turned back to the clipboard that had been placed between her and Holmes. Reading halfway down the page she said, “According to your hCG levels... I would say about five weeks or so.”
Ginny placed her head in her hands. Five weeks. She had been pregnant for five weeks. Sadness started to overwhelm her. It wasn’t as if she and Harry had been trying. Sure they had talked about having a baby, but they had decided to wait. Ginny was in the prime of her career and Harry was pulled away often, sometimes weeks at a time. Ginny went over the last month in her head. She hadn’t been sick. Wasn’t that a sign of pregnancy?
“Wait,” Ginny spoke up. “Why wasn’t I throwing up?”
Joel smiled like she heard that question often. “All pregnancies are different Ginny. Some woman do not get sick. I once had a woman come in when she was five months along confused on why she had gained so much weight. She didn’t have any of the normal signs, other than the belly growth, and even that was substantially less than normal” Joel’s smile fell. “I know this must be hard on you. Once we check to make sure everything is ok with your uterus, we will fix up your chest and let you get some rest.”
Holmes stopped her wand waving. “Seems like the embryo is complete gone, Joel.” She gave Ginny a small smile. “I’m going to quickly fix your chest, Ginny. When I finish would you like a sleeping draught?”
Before Ginny could answer Molly spoke up, “Yes.” She looked down at her daughter. “Ginny dear. It would be best if you get some rest, maybe by the time you wake up you can go home.” Ginny heard the hidden meaning ‘by the time you wake up Harry will be here’.
Ginny’s sadness was turning into full blown grief. She hadn’t even known she was pregnant, but she felt lost. She had lost something important to her. Then another brutal thought rose to her mind, Harry. How was she going to tell him? Harry who always wanted a family of his own.
Ginny felt tears spring to her eyes. Normally she would try to blink them away, but this time it was just to much. They started to fall silently. Molly seemed to notice her daughters distress. She put her thumbs under Ginny’s eyes, wiping the fresh tears as they fell.
“Ginny, Love.” Molly’s voice took on her coddling tone. The tone she used with Ginny when ever she cried as a child. “You’re going to be ok. Both you and Harry.”
“How do I tell him, Mum?” Ginny’s voice was shaky and watery.
“You need to just be honest with him. He is going to hurt as much as you are. You’re going to need each other.” Molly paused. “Were you trying?”
Ginny shook her head. Healer Holmes had moved started to apply Ginny’s chest with salvent. She barely registered it.
She and Molly sat in silence, as the healer completed her tasks. When she pulled a vile from in her pocket she placed it gentle into Ginny’s hands. “Take it when your ready. You need a good rest. I want to express how sorry I am, Mrs. Potter. Please let me know if you need anything else. I’ll be back after you wake.” And with that both healers left the room.
Molly took the vile from Ginny. “Dear, you should sleep.” Ginny couldn’t speak. Her emotions were running wild. She was sad and confused. She wanted to talk to Harry. He always knew how to comfort her. He may not be the best at expressing his feeling, but he was good at handling hers. But with something like this? How would he take it?
Molly positioned Ginny into a laying stance. Opening the daughter she put it to her daughter’s lips. “Get some rest Ginny.” As soon as the last of the contents hit her throat Ginny was asleep.
Sun was shining as Ginny gingerly opened her eyes. Memories from the previous night hit her like a stunning spell. She closed her eyes tight, trying to make her heartache go away.
“Ginny, are you awake?” Harry’s voice spoke next to her ear. As much as she had craved for Harry to be there last time she was awake, now… now she was going to have to face it all again.
She remained silent for another moment, needed a chance to collect herself. When she was finally ready she spoke quietly, keeping her eyes shut, “Yeah, Love. I’m awake.” She felt him press a kiss onto her forehead. She continued to keep her eyes shut. She needed to talk to him without tears. She wanted to be strong for him.
“Do you want anything? Water? Tea?” Harry’s voice was filled with concern. Clearly he was worried about why her eyes were still closed. She took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly trying to keep herself together.
She opened her eyes, instantly she was greeted with his. His eyes were watching her. It was the same look he had after she had woken up in the Chamber of Secrets, worry and fear.
“Are you ok, Gin?” His voice was soft as he placed his hand on hers. “The healer said you took quite a fall and got hit, but they said you should be well enough to leave today.”
Ginny nodded at him, accepting his proposal to leave. Taking in a deep breath she steeled herself. She was a Gryffindor, brave at heart, this was a moment to prove it. “Harry,” just saying his name made her hurt. Shaking her head she plowed on, “Harry. Love. Something happened.”
Harry’s hand tighten on hers. “What? I thought they said you would be ok to leave.” Harry’s voice showed his confusion, the fear turning into terror.
“Yeah,” She agreed. “I’ll be able to go home, but…” another deep breath. “Harry. It turns out I was pregnant.”
Ginny felt his hand clam in hers. His went wide and the terror changed to trepidation. “Wait… Pr- pr- pregnant.” His face started to pale, making his scar more prominent.
Ginny needed to cut him off. “Yes pregnant.” She confirmed. “But Harry.” His eyes met hers. “I- I had a miscarriage.”
Ginny watched in apprehension, as Harry’s mixed emotions flashed across his face. She waited with baited breath. There was fear, then confusion, and then realization and understanding. His emerald eyes started to shine. He moved towards her and embraced her, placing her head on his chest.
This is what she needed. She need to be in his arms. She could feel all his love pass from his body to hers as he held her. Finally she succumbed to all her emotions. Tears feel on to his shirt, staining it. He didn’t say anything, he just kept hold of her as she wept.
She didn’t keep track of the time. She just stayed in his arms, until she felt like she could leave them without crying. She pulled back, but remaining in his embrace. Harry moved his forehead to touch hers.
“Are you ok, Love?” His voice was soft, but she could hear his sorrow.
Ginny let out a shaky breath, “No,” She admitted. “But we will be.”
“We will be.” He confirmed. He moved one of his hands to her cheek. “Do you want to go home now?”Ginny nodded. He backed away from her, quickly grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. “Alright, be back in a tick.” He left the room, with a quick look over his shoulder. That one small look said it all for her. He was clearly devastated, but his eyes still held the worry he had before. He was concerned for her.
She sat up, getting ready to leave. She grabbed the clothes that sat beside her bed and put them on. By the time she was tying her trainers, Harry was back. He had a small smile on his lips, but Ginny knew him to well. It was forced.
He came back over to her bed and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Your cleared to go,” He said with a constrained voice. He offered her his hand, which she gladly took. “Let’s go home, Love.”
A Month Later
Ginny sat down on the couch in her sitting room. ‘Another long day out on the field,’ she thought. It had been like that for a while. Everyday she would go to practice and just not enjoy herself as much as she use too. It was like playing quidditch had fallen to the back burner. She thought it might be because the season was ending next week, the Harpies already knocked out of the playoffs. But no, this was something more.
Ginny grabbed The Prophet that was sitting on the coffee table. Perusing the paper slowly, something in the job adds drew her eye.
Do you like quidditch? Like traveling? Know how to write?
Well you’re in luck. We have an opening here at The Prophet for a quidditch correspondent. In order to apply: send an owl addressed to Elliot Brook here at The Prophet. Enclose an example of your writing. You will receive an owl letting you know when you have an interview.
‘Maybe that was it?’ Ginny thought as she stared at the offer. Maybe she was done playing. But writing it… that was different.
Before she could second guess herself she went into the study the small study Harry had set up. Inside was a small desk that sat against the window. A owl perch stood next to the desk. Currently their owl, Amore, was out with a letter to Ron and Hermione.
She sat at the desk and grabbed the nearest empty piece of parchment and quill. She decided to write about the last game she had played in. She remembered every moment of play, every twist and turn. She spent over an hour recording her record of the game. Finally when she completed it she folded it up and placed it in an envelope, addressing it to Elliot Brook.
Feeling a sense of accomplishment she hadn’t felt in a while she grinned to herself. ‘Maybe this is just what I need.’
Another Month Later
Ginny fell back onto the bed, trying to catch her breath. Harry flopped right beside her, having the same problem with oxygen that she was.
“You know what Potter?” Ginny said turning her head towards her husband.
“What?” Harry huffed.
“If I thought you needed the ego boost, I would clap for your performance right there.”
Harry snorted, “Is that right?”
Ginny rolled over so her entire body was facing him, “Well actually,” She paused. “Maybe I should be clapping for myself.”
Harry mimicked her move. Placing a kiss on her nose he said, “I’ll join if you start the round.”
Ginny laughed, inching forward, crawling into Harry’s arms. She placed a kiss onto the pulse point on his neck. His breath was warm on her neck as he moved his head to sit near her shoulder.
“Hey Gin?” Harry voice was quiet. Ginny recognized the tone. He was about to say something that made him nervous.
“Yes?” Ginny breathed into his ear as she moved her mouth up his jaw.
“I was thinking…” He let his voice falter as she pressed her warm mouth behind his ear.
“A dangerous pastime,” She whispered nuzzling her nose across his jaw.
He let out a small laugh through his nose, but continued, “I was thinking, well really wondering…”
“Harry. I love you, but you need to spit it out.”
“I was wondering if you might want to have a baby.”
Ginny stopped her ministrations. Moving her head back slightly so she could look into his entire face. His eyes watched her, with vulnerability. She felt her eyebrows pull together, as she thought about what he had just asked.
She knew the answer was a yes, but when was the real question. After what happened a few months ago… Ginny suppressed a shudder. She didn’t want to go through that again. It was hard enough the first time, but now… Now she was sitting at a desk job at The Prophet. She wasn’t out running laps and flying everyday. She was home everyday at a reasonable time. Hell, even Harry had decided to cut back his hours within the last two months, not that she had asked him too. But she couldn’t lie it was great for the two of them to be home together more often.
But a baby. A screaming, mess making, chubby cheeked, adorable black haired… The mental image of a small ebony locked baby taking its first steps as she and Harry watched invaded her mind.
Harry was still watching, waiting. It was clear he wasn’t trying to show too much hope. That is when Ginny gave in. Even though everyone thought she was stubborn, which to be fair she was, she knew when to give into a good idea.
“So,” Ginny drawled. “Do you think our baby will have your eyes? I really hope so because let me tell you –”
“Wait,” Harry cut her off. “Is that a yes?”
Ginny gave him a small chuckle. She rolled them so she was laying on top of him. Their noses touching. “Well yeah,” She said like it was obvious. She gave him a sly smile, “I mean, we are already so good at the first stage, so why not?” She posed the end of her sentence nonchalantly.
It took Harry three blinks for him to break out into a wide smile. He slanted his lips towards hers, which she happily accepted. After a heated moment, Harry flipped them over so he was above her.
Slowly he took his mouth away from her, which she protested. He pressed a kiss to her nose. “I love you, Gin.” Harry said with such adoring tone.
She let out a loud snort, “You better, if you want me to carry your baby for nine months.”
Harry closed the distance between the two of them again. Ginny couldn’t help but smile as she kissed the man she loved, the man she married, the man she was going to have a baby with.
Three Months Later
“Well Ginny,” Healer Joel said moving her wand away from Ginny’s abdomen. “Looks like your about seven weeks along.”
Ginny looked over at Harry, who was sitting next to her in the exam room holding her hand. His face broke out into a large smile, practically showing all his teeth.
Joel smiled at the couple. “Congratulations you two. Now I want to set up an appointment for you to come see me in a few weeks so we can do a full work up.”
Ginny nodded as she sat up. Harry helped her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her waist. He whispered in her ear, “It must have been from that,” He paused. “performance after the Ministry ball… I thought we deserve a round of applause for that night.”
Ginny moved her mouth up to his ear, “Or before… Or even during. Remember we went to your office, locked the door and –”
Harry cut her off with a kiss. Pulling back, Ginny turned her attention back to Healer Joel. “Thank you,”
Joel beamed at her, “My pleasure. So how does Thursday at nine, three weeks from now sound?”
“Perfect,” Ginny told her.
Joel made a mark on her clipboard. “Ok great, see you then.” She walked to the exit, closing the door behind her.
Ginny grabbed Harry’s hand pulling him to the exit, “Come on, Love. I think we need to go home and have a little celebration of our own.”
Harry gave a throaty laugh, “Trust me, it won’t little.”
Ginny couldn’t suppress her snort. “Even better.”
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