Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. Im just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter Thirteen
Put Me In Coach!
Quidditch tryouts were announced for the following weekend. Ron was manic in his glee and even Harry found himself avoiding getting into yet another Quidditch conversation with him. Rons enthusiasm had gone so over-the-top, Harry feared no one from Gryffindor would show up at the tryouts in fear of the teams new captain. Then again, they showed up for Oliver Wood and he certainly was no less enthusiastic about the sport. In an effort to focus on something besides Quidditch, Harry had begun making preparations for the D.A. meeting to be held the following week. Professor McGonagall had agreed to sponsor the club and it was opened to all students. Ron had been horrified at the thought of the Slytherins being able to join but Harry didnt think any would come anyway. Hed posted the flyers and set his galleon to alert all the former members.
On Friday afternoon, Harry had another apparition lesson with Moony. They were going to meet in the Room of Requirement and Harry was going to try and apparate for the first time. He was both thrilled and nervous. Hed enjoyed spending time with Moony and theyd developed an easy camaraderie. Harry still found him difficult to talk to sometimes and often held back asking things he wished he could just say. He had yet to bring up the Prophesy and was determined this would be the day.
His nightmares had begun to improve and Harry found he could actually go a night here and there without his sleep being interrupted. He hadnt had a vision since the Welcome Feast and he was cautiously optimistic that the Occlumency was working. The Prophesy, however, was still weighing heavily on his mind. The more hed been able to pull himself together and start focusing on his schoolwork, the more the panic would seem to set in. It was little things like a casual comment about the future, or overheard musings about the upcoming war that would make Harrys heart beat faster and a cold sweat to moisten his brow. Sometimes he was sure his friends could hear his heart pounding and see the utter terror in his eyes. How was he going to do this? Harry didnt think he could. In all likelihood, he would be dead before he ever had the chance to graduate. But if he was dead, all hope for the future of his friends, of the Muggles and Wizards alike would be lost. If he couldnt find a way to do this thing, Voldemort would win. Harry found he kept having to force his mind away from it or the panic would completely overwhelm him. Hed reached a point that he was desperate to talk to someone about it and hoped it wouldnt be too difficult to approach Moony.
Steeling himself, Harry made his way towards the Room of Requirement. Moony was waiting for him just outside, "Harry! How are you? Youre looking well, this seems better," Moony said, pointing to Harrys eye. The black and blue coloring had faded leaving the area just a tint yellowish.
"Yeah, doing okay. How are things with you? I saw Tonks the other day, she seemed happy."
Moony chose to ignore Harrys bait and it made Harrys grin widen even further. "Hows Ginny doing?" Moony returned with a sly smile and it was Harrys turn to falter.
"Good
I mean
Shes a bit swamped with OWL preparation. Shes trying out for Chaser on the Gryffindor team tomorrow so were going to practice some after dinner tonight," Harry knew he was babbling but couldnt seem to stop himself.
Moony wasnt even bothering to hide his smile anymore but decided to let Harry off the hook, "Okay then, are you ready for this?"
The room was set up open and sparse with a single bookcase dividing the center of the room, "Were going to try and move from one side of the bookcase to the other. Ready for a go?"
Harry took a deep breath and plowed on before he lost his nerve, "Can I ask you something first Moony?"
Detecting the serious, hesitant tone in Harrys voice, Moony stopped and looked at him intently, "Anything Harry."
"Do you
Dyou know about the Prophesy," Harrys voice was nothing more than a strained whisper.
Remus sat down on the floor and leaned his back against the bookcase, "I do," he sighed, "Sirius told me the night he showed up on my doorstep after the Third Task."
Harry sunk down on the floor next to Moony and drew his knees up protectively against his chest, "Sirius knew?" This was news to Harry.
"Your parents told him when they asked him to be your Godfather."
"H-How did they learn about it?"
"I believe Dumbledore told them."
Harry nodded, taking this in. It would make sense, he wondered if the Longbottoms had been warned about the danger to Neville too? How had his parents taken the news, he wondered. Told that their new infant son was destined to kill or be killed by the most powerful Dark Lord of their time. A Dark Lord who wouldnt want to allow that infant enemy to grow up. Harry felt a tight constriction in his chest; "This was the reason they died!" he blurted. That thought, though never spoken, had been tormenting Harrys mind for months. Voldemort killed his parents trying to get to him; he went after them because of him. They had both died because of him.
Moony put his hands on Harrys shoulders and shook them gently; "None of this is your fault Harry! They died trying to protect their child, as any loving parent would! Prophesy or no they would have given their lives to keep you safe!"
"Voldemort never would have gone after them if it hadnt been for me!"
"Yes he would. Maybe not then, maybe it would have been later, but he would have tried eventually anyway. Your parents were heavily involved with the Order long before they knew of this Prophesy. They believed he had to be stopped, for their own future, for everyones future, for your future. They wanted the best for you Harry, you meant everything to them."
Harry swiped viciously at his uncooperative eyes before any tears could leak, "How am I going to do this?"
"With help. You are not alone, you never will be alone. It may be your destiny to take him down in the end, but youll have a fiercely loyal group of us surrounding you when you do it. Never feel alone Harry, we all want to be there for you."
This was the most passionate Harry had ever seen or heard his former teacher and he was slightly taken back by the emotion. He stared at Moony for a moment before stuttering, "I-I think Im getting b-better at Occlumency." This had been Harrys greatest mistake and the guilt of it was still nearly all consuming. Although Ginnys words had helped him see that he wasnt entirely to blame, he couldnt banish that responsibility entirely. If he had just learned to block Voldemort out when he had the chance, Sirius might still be here. He felt suffocated by that thought.
"I know, Dumbledore has told me of your progress. Im afraid you still may need to let Snape have a go though."
Harrys eyes widened in alarm, "What?"
"Snape is a master Legilimens Harry, and no one has spent more time utilizing it in the presence of Voldemort than Snape. It will be an excellent way to test you and you wont be alone. Ill be in the room with you."
Harry never wanted to let Snape into his head again, but hed promised himself that he was going to do everything within his power to see this through. So help him, if this is what it took, so be it. "When?" he asked simply.
Moony seemed surprised at his easy acceptance, "Not yet. You still need some more practice with Dumbledore so you wont be tricked again."
"Tricked into costing someone else their life," Harry whispered visualizing yet again Sirius falling through the veil. He could no longer stop the tears from falling and he didnt even bother to try. Lupin went to reach his arm around Harrys shoulders but pulled back again before making contact. He stood up abruptly and began to pace, "You were used Harry and I know nothing I say will alleviate what youre feeling. Si-Sirius would never want you to suffer this way."
Harry hugged his knees closer to his chest and pressed his face to them, he wished Moony hadnt pulled away but didnt know how to get the closeness back. He began to rock back and forth slightly trying to master himself but it only seemed to make Moony retreat even further, "Look Harry, we cant have this lesson today. Youre not in the right frame of mind to apparate, youll only end up splinching yourself. Continue to practice the spells you worked on with Tonks and well try this again next week. Are you going to be okay?"
Harry nodded mutely. In truth, he didnt know if he was okay and he was beginning to think this talk had only made things worse. Moony had nearly sprinted from the room and Harry shakily gathered himself together and made his way back to the dormitory. Hed promised to go flying with Ginny after dinner and put her through her paces for the tryout tomorrow. He didnt think hed be able to eat so he jotted her a quick note telling her to meet him on the Quidditch pitch when she was through. Grabbing his beloved Firebolt, the first gift Sirius had given him, he dragged his heavy heart outside.
Harry hadnt been on his broomstick since the middle of last year and holding it now he couldnt help but be reminded of Sirius. This broom had been an anonymous Christmas gift in his third year. Little did Harry know then how out of his control his life was about to spin. He stood on the pitch for a moment, the broom in his hands; just staring at it and letting the memories wash over him.
Mounting the broom and taking flight, Harry felt the familiar exhilaration of being in the air. Hed always gotten such a thrill out of flying. There was something wonderfully exhilarating and freeing about being in the air. Harry could be anyone or anything he wanted when he was up here, and the world below ceased to exist, none of it mattered for a little while. As he swooped and dove through the air, his mind replayed the conversation with Moony.
Sirius had known of the Prophesy too and never told him. When Sirius had mentioned a weapon that Voldemort wanted last year, they had all assumed it was something hidden at Hogwarts. It struck him how right they were, he was that weapon! And Sirius knew it all along! He couldnt help that it felt like a betrayal but he didnt want to be angry with Sirius. He couldnt be angry with him. But he was. He was angry hed left him. How could you leave me? he railed at the sky, I need you.
He knew it was childish to feel angry with Sirius for dying, it wasnt like Sirius had planned it. Hell, it was Harrys own fault. But he also couldnt help that he felt abandoned, again. He remembered feeling this way as a child on Privet Drive. Alone, unwanted, unloved. Hed thought his parents had died in a car accident then. Theyd left him to rot with the Dursleys and sometimes, just sometimes in the darkness of his cupboard; hed rail at them for abandoning him. He hadnt been that lonely little boy in a long time, but somehow knowing it didnt make any sense to feel that way wasnt helping now.
Harry continued to zoom around the pitch letting the wind dry the tears he couldnt stop. For someone who prided himself on never giving in to them, these days Harry couldnt seem to stop them. Hed opened the floodgates that night with Ginny and now it seemed anything could set him off. He had no idea how long hed been out there flying from one end of the pitch to the other, but eventually he noticed Ginny sitting in the stands, her broomstick lying across her legs. He flew down to where she was and took the seat next to her, "You made it."
Ginny looked at his profile, he kept his eyes guardedly away from her and she knew he was upset, "Yeah. We missed you at dinner."
Harry didnt reply, "What would you like to do?"
"I dunno. Feel like playing Keeper and seeing if I can get this by you," she asked, tossing a Quaffle in the air.
"Okay. Im not very good at playing Keeper though, you probably should have asked Ron."
"NO!" Ginny seemed startled, "I dont want him to know Im out here! Besides, I dont think hed help me anyway. Cant have the team captain playing favorites and all."
"Then its just you and me. Come on!"
Ginny followed him out and they spent some time tossing the Quaffle. Harry was right, he wasnt a very good Keeper and Ginny had no problem scoring on him. "If Ron would just put you in tomorrow, Im sure Id have no problem making the team!" she laughed.
Harry turned on her in mock seriousness, "Are you suggesting Im not up to the task?"
"Are you suggesting you are?"
"Only if were playing a team who hasnt yet reached school age," he joked, laughing outright for the first time that day.
"And dont have brooms. Even than I wouldnt guarantee your chances!"
Now Harry thought maybe he ought to be offended, "Hey!"
Ginny just laughed and began racing toward the Quidditch shed, "Last one there has to put the equipment away," she called. She was nearly there as she finished the sentence and Harrys competitive spirit kicked in. Lying flat against his broom until they were nearly one, he forced it forward. The superior broom caught up to her with relative ease and they reached the door together.
"Not bad Potter, not bad at all. I guess its just the Keeper spot that doesnt suit you!"
"Looks like were both putting this stuff away then, eh?"
Ginny smiled and nodded at him, her cheeks were flushed pink with exhilaration and the cool night air. Harry thought she looked amazingly pretty, "Thanks Gin."
"For what?" she asked, her eyes twinkling merrily.
"I needed some fun today."
"Pleased to be of service sir," she replied. Then, laughing, they took each others hand and made their way up to the castle, neither letting go until they reached the heavy double doors.
The next morning, it was Ron who woke Harry up bright and early. Harry had been having a peaceful night and wasnt thrilled to be awoken just yet. "Come on," Ron shook his shoulder roughly, "Out of that bed and down to breakfast in fifteen Potter!"
Harry clamped the pillow over his head, "I dont wanna," he whined.
Ron ripped the pillow from his hands and threw it across the room, "Move."
Harry climbed out of bed glaring at Ron, "Maybe youre paying more attention in Divination than you think cuz I swear youre channeling Oliver Wood right now!"
Ron puffed up like a peacock taking Harrys words as a compliment rather than an insult, "Lets hope we can build a team as good as his then!"
The boys made their way down to the Great Hall where Hermione was already sitting with her nose in a book. "Morning," they greeted.
"Looks like you have a good day for tryouts, I saw a bunch of people already heading down to the pitch. Ginny went with them."
"Are you coming to watch?" Ron asked.
"Of course," answered Hermione as the two leaned in to share a morning kiss.
Harry quickly turned his gaze the other way and grabbed a slice of toast and a few pieces of bacon, "Ill see you there mate!" He was happy for Ron and Hermione, and pleased their new relationship seemed to stop a lot of their bickering, but it still made him uncomfortable to watch them kiss. He also realized it wasnt just Ron and Hermione, it was anyone. Neither of the Dursleys had ever been overly affectionate with each other (thank Merlin for small favors), and theyd certainly never shown the least amount of it to him. Harry found he was just very uncomfortable with any kind of public displays and tended to make himself scarce when they began.
Harry joined Katie Bell, Andrew Kirke and Jack Sloper already on the pitch. He could see Ginny in line with the other candidates and he smiled to her. She gave him a thumbs up. The team started lining people up and when he arrived, he told each of them to watch for people they thought would be good in their own positions. Ron hoped to get a full reserve team out of the lot as well. Harry looked over the lines, there were a lot of people trying out, maybe theyd get lucky. He was proud of the Gryffindors, from the looks of it; Ron hadnt scared a lot of people off with his rabid enthusiasm.
Harry took off and took his place high above the pitch. He watched the tryouts below, Ron was putting all the potential chasers through their paces trying to get goals past him. He stopped and watched as Ginny successfully beat him for the second time. Watching Rons ears redden, Harry couldnt help cheering her on! Harry noticed the little first year Ron had pointed out at the Welcome Feast; Tracy Bennett was her name. She was small but quick and seemed to be a natural in the air. Shed make a good reserve and possibly be ready to take over Katies position next year. When Ron finally called for a team huddle, Harry flew down to join them.
"Well, what do we all think?" Ron asked.
Katie answered first, "Ginny for sure." Andrew, Jack and Harry all nodded while Ron grinned, "Good, then I wont be getting a Howler from Mum."
"And I get to keep my spot," Harry exclaimed, pretending to wipe his brow.
Ron looked at him in confusion, "What do you mean?"
"Well, if Ginny didnt become Chaser, technically, shes the first round Seeker. Id have to take the reserve spot."
Ron paled, that was obviously never even one of his considerations, "Okay, Ginny is one, what about the other?"
Again Katie answered, "I think Holly Proctor is the best choice." Holly was a third year with a long blonde ponytail and an innocent looking face. She was super fast and, after Ginny, scored the most points.
"What about the reserves?" asked Ron.
"Dennis Creevey for a Beater spot," said Jack.
"Tracy Bennett could work as a Chaser," said Harry, "with Ginny as Seeker."
"Patrick Nelson for Keeper," said Katie all at the same time.
"Okay," answered Ron, "Tracy Bennett is only a first year, but since shes just on the reserves, we dont really need to worry about her own broom. Listen up!" he yelled to all the candidates, "In the two open Chaser positions, we have Ginny Weasley and Holly Proctor. For a reserve Chaser Tracy Bennett; Reserve Keeper Patrick Nelson; Reserve Beater Dennis Creevey; and Reserve Seeker Ginny Weasley. The rest of you, thanks very much for trying out!"
Several disappointed faces made their way back to the castle while an excited Ginny wrapped her arms around her brothers neck and pecked him on the cheek, "I knew youd make the right decision, brother dear."
Ron blushed but hugged her back, "Easy choice Gin, you earned your spot!"
Ginny beamed with pleasure as Hermione joined them on the pitch, "Nice work Ginny, congratulations."
"Than ks Hermione."
"Okay team, first practice is tomorrow. Ive reserved the pitch for two hours right after lunch," Ron announced as they broke for the day. Harry was happy he was going to be getting back into the routine of Quidditch practices. He hoped the turn out for the upcoming D.A. meeting would turn out just as well.
A/N: Back from Grand Cayman and I had a wonderful time! Thanks for all the well wishes, I highly recommend a visit there! Long flights allowed me to get some work done on this chapter and a future one that I think is really shaping up nicely!
Please R/R and let me know! I know I have Harry emotional again but I still feel its part of his growing process. Hes slowly learning to let people in. Next chapter talks a bit more about that