Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. Im just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter Eight
Sweet 16
Harry was able to take the Dreamless Sleeping Potion the night the OWL results had arrived; therefore, hed slept wonderfully. He stretched lazily, unwilling to open his eyes just yet to start another day. He could hear Rons snoring from across the room and knew his friend wouldnt be up for several more hours. He smiled listening to Ron; his snoring really had gotten worse as he got older. Just as Harry was considering rolling over and trying to fall back to sleep, the door burst open and Hermione and Ginny entered the room. Hermione wore a bright pink dressing gown and her hair was pulled back from her face. Ginnys dressing gown was a pale blue and tossed loosely over her yellow pajamas. Both girls had brightly wrapped packages in their hands. "Happy Birthday Harry!" they chorused.
Harry blinked at them in surprise, birthday? Today was July 31st, his 16th birthday! Harry had been so wrapped up in his other problems; hed completely let it slip his mind. Hed never spent a birthday away from Privet Drive, and his birthdays there were always low-key, to say the least. The idea of spending the entire day with his friends pleased him and he couldnt help the slow, joyous smile that crossed his face. Both Ginny and Hermione were happy to see that smile; it had been a long time since theyd seen Harry so happy.
"Oi Ron, wake up," said Ginny, taking a pillow and tossing it across the room at her still snoozing brother, "Youre missing your best mates birthday!"
Ron sat up quickly, his head turning from side to side in alarm, "Whasamatta?"
Hermione giggled and went and sat on the edge of his bed, ruffling his sleep-worn hair, "Its Harrys birthday, Ron, wish him well."
Ron started rubbing his eyes, obviously not thrilled to have been woken up, "Happy Birthday, mate," he grumbled.
"Thanks," said Harry, "I lived another year."
All three of the rooms other occupants looked at him sharply. "Thats not funny Harry!" Hermione scolded.
Ginny sat on the edge of Harrys bed, "Way to kill a mood, sunshine!"
Harry couldnt help but smirk at the sarcasm, he also couldnt help the way his eyes kept being drawn to the neckline of Ginnys dressing gown, which wasnt fastened at all securely and the creamy white skin of her neck was visible above her pajamas. Harry kept trying to force his eyes upward, but they seemed to have a will of their own! What the bloody hell was going on with him over Ginny?
Ron also noticed where Harrys attention was focused and fought hard to cover his grin. Though most everyone thought Ron to be unobservant and blissfully unaware of those around him, he actually noticed a lot. He noticed, he just usually didnt acknowledge that hed noticed. Hed noticed the furtive glances Harry had been casting at Ginny all week. Hed also noticed the ones Ginny shot back that Harry was unaware of. He was also perfectly well aware of Ginny sneaking into their room each night and comforting Harry after his nightmares. Even though he wasnt about to openly condone the idea of Ginny being in Harrys bed, he was glad she was able to find a way to help him. Hed heard Harry calling for Sirius in his sleep and Ron wished he could do something to ease his friends pain. Harry would never accept that kind of comfort from either Ron or Hermione, nor show that kind of vulnerability to either of them. If Ginny could help him, and Harry was willing to let her, Ron was grateful.
Ron wasnt stupid, nor was he naïve. There was something going on between his sister and his best mate, and no one could be happier about it than Ron. He knew Ginny had never really gotten over her crush on Harry, no matter what she said. He also knew Harry desperately needed someone in his life to care about him, care about him more than a friend could. Ron still kicked himself when he thought about the fight he and Harry had before the TriWizard tournament. He had let jealousy and petty envy blur his vision. Harry had never asked for any of the attention given to him, and truth be told, he hated it. Ron should have never doubted that. Harry had never asked for an apology and Ron was going to make sure hed never need one again. Maybe it was just the fact that Ron was so happy snogging Hermione senseless that he wanted everyone else to be happy too! Too many bad things had happened to Harry; even his first experience with kissing wasnt exactly good! Snogging should be a good thing, Ron thought smiling goofily. Shaking his head slightly, Ron forcibly dragged his thoughts away from the direction they were headed. No one deserved a good snog more than Harry did, and Ginny deserved something in return for her endless patience with a slow-on-the-uptake Harry. Ron was aware he was one to talk, it certainly had taken him long enough to get over his own nervousness and admit he had feelings for his other best friend, but now that he had, he knew he was a fool for being so thick for so long! Harry certainly hadnt passed on the opportunity to poke fun at Ron over it, now it was Rons turn to watch Harry stew and try to figure things out.
Both Harry and Ginny had been hurt by Vol-Vol- by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, far more than the rest of them, and Ron firmly believed that they were the ones who could help each other deal with their traumas. Ginny was his little sister and he couldnt think of a worthier match than his best friend. Harry could be moody, closed-off, and downright difficult at times! He couldnt think of anyone more stubborn than Ginny, who would be able to handle Harry and rein him in when needed. Yes, thought Ron, this was going to be interesting.
"I mean it Harry," Hermione was saying, "thats not the kind of thing to joke about! Youre 16 years old, you have a long, wonderful life ahead of you!"
Harry gave her a look that for an instant held such an intense pain and raw sorrow that it nearly took her breath away. The shadow that fell on his face lasted only a brief moment before he covered it again but the looks on both Ron and Ginnys faces said they had caught it too, Harry was hiding something.
"Harry," Ginny began tentatively, "Is anything wrong?"
"You know Harry," Hermione continued, "If you ever need to talk, any one of us is always here and happy to listen." She said this last part while pointedly staring at Ginny, including her in their group. Ginnys heart swelled at these words; shed always felt like an outsider looking in when they would get together. Being included meant the world to her.
"I know, youve all been great," Harry replied, also pointedly including Ginny in his gaze, "Its nothing".
Ginny was sure it wasnt "nothing," but she was also sure Harry wasnt going to tell them more now. She knew she was going to have to lighten the mood or she would be the one to break down and cry, "Mum wanted to have a big party, but with security and all. . .we couldnt really do that. The rest of the Order will be stopping by and I know Fred and George have some surprises planned."
"Thanks for the warning."
"We asked if we could get just Neville, Dean, and Seamus to stop by, but no go," Ron added.
Harrys brow had creased momentarily at the mention of his roommates, "Neville would have been okay, but its best to keep things quiet from the others. Even with the change in stance on Voldemort, I think the Order still would like to keep information about them quiet."
Ron was nodding, "Yeah, youre probably right. We dont know how much we can trust Dean anyway." Ginny rolled her eyes in exasperation as Ron continued, "Seamus would be all right though."
"Yeah, until the next Daily Prophet article calling me a nutter comes along."
"He apologized for that Harry, he doesnt think that anymore."
"Hes lived with me since 1st year Ron. He should know me for me by now, not what some article in the paper says!"
Ron was stunned into silence, he didnt know Harry was still harboring ill feelings about the way Seamus had treated him the previous year. Now that he thought about it, he couldnt really blame Harry for it. Ron himself probably would have used his fists on a whole lot of others besides just Malfoy if he had been in Harrys shoes last year. Looking at his friends face, he could see Harry was more hurt than angry and he felt a sudden surge of annoyance towards Seamus Finnigan, much the same as the one he was feeling towards Dean Thomas, "Okay, so no roommates for a party. Itll be more fun with us anyway!"
"Lets get some breakfast, Im sure Mums prepared a feast," said Ginny.
As they started downstairs, Harry paused a moment and put a hand on Sirius door. There would be no birthday greeting from Sirius this year, he thought sadly. Noticing the sadness on his face, Ginny tentatively reached out and touched his hand. Without really thinking what he was doing, Harry turned his palm face up and clasped her fingers. She squeezed his hand reassuringly and pulled him along while a singsong voice in her head kept repeating, Im holding Harrys hand! Im holding Harry Potters hand!
Harry was lying on his bed a few hours before the party was set to begin running through the events of the day in his head. It had been spent much as any other, with chess, gobstones and some laughter. Ron had told everyone that he was to be the new Quidditch captain. He seemed awkward about it and Harry knew Ron was worried about Harrys reaction and his ever-present feelings of inadequacy were surfacing. Harry put a huge smile on his face and was very encouraging, which pleased Ron. Harry noticed both Ginny and Hermione giving him odd, appraising sort of looks, but he had refused to meet their eyes. Even though Harry would love to be captain of the Quidditch team, he really believed Ron would be better at it. There was no way Harry would have the time Ron could devote to it, and it was what Ron had pictured in the Mirror of Erised all those years ago. That, and being head boy. Ron was a Prefect; he was half way to realizing his innermost desires. Harrys thoughts continued to ponder that mirror. He had seen his family when hed looked at it, he wondered if that is what hed still see today? Maybe that was half his problem, Ron at least had the common sense to desire something attainable!
Harry was in a bad mood and he couldnt shake it. It started that morning staring at Sirius doorway and his thoughts never seemed to go much further than that today. It didnt help when Moony had pulled him aside and informed him that both he and Moony had been named as the sole heirs to Sirius estate. All the Order members had active wills and Sirius had been no exception. Hed left the entire Black fortune, including this house, to Harry and Remus. Moony said they should let the Order continue using the house as headquarters and Harry merely agreed. He would have agreed to anything just to get out of that room and stop talking about it. Somehow, the will made it all so much more real and . . .final. Sirius was really dead. Harry swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. He knew that. Hed known it all along, but this, somehow, this made it forever. Harry didnt want this house, he hated this house with all its stupid portraits and gloomy rooms. It had been Sirius prison; just another one in his life and Harry would rather see it burned to the ground. He didnt want that money, he didnt need it and it was just another reminder of how wrong everything had turned out. He didnt want the money, the house, or any of the things in it, he just wanted Sirius. But some things were just never meant to be
Moony seemed to understand Harrys disgust, but he gently reminded him that if Harry refused, the estate would probably end up with the Malfoys, or worse, Bellatrix Lestrange herself! Harry would never allow that to happen! Hed asked Remus to take half of his share and have it transferred to the Weasleys account. He knew they would fight him, but he had no intention of backing down. They deserved it, they had been more responsible for raising him than the Dursleys and this was something good Harry could actually do for them. He wasnt about to let them take that away for prides sake.
Harry didnt think Moony was any happier about the will than Harry was, though he didnt say anything. Moony never gave much away. There were several times Harry would have really liked to ask him some things about his parents, but he held back. Moony seemed so reserved and reticent to share anything. Harry just wasnt sure how to breech that wall, or even if he should. He certainly was harder to approach than Sirius had ever been. Harry worried that maybe Moony really blamed him for the loss of his best friend?
All these thoughts were storming around in Harrys head and giving him such a headache that hed lain his arm across his eyes, leaning his forehead into the crook of his elbow. He hadnt noticed the door open, or Hermione enter until she sat beside him.
"All right Harry?"
"Im fine, just a little tired."
"Whats going on with you Harry," Hermione asked quietly.
Harry kept his eyes closed, "How do you mean?" Either must die at the hand of the other. . .
"I think there is something your not telling us, something that seems to be really bothering you. You can tell us anything Harry, were all here for you," she said earnestly.
"I know that Hermione. You guys are the best friends I could ever ask for." For neither can live while the other survives. . .
"But your not going to tell me?"
Harry was quiet for a long time, Hermione thought he wasnt going to answer at all, than finally he said, "No." But it was an agonized whisper full of emotion and despair. It set her nerves on edge and her ever-inquisitive nature into overdrive.
"Why not? Why so many secrets? Does this have anything to do with Sirius?"
Harrys eyes flew open wide at the mention of his name. His feelings for Sirius were too raw at the moment to get into now, "No," he ground out, "it has nothing to do with Sirius or my saving people thing. Just let it alone Hermione!"
Hermione looked at Harry, her face stricken, "Harry, I didnt mean that to hurt you!"
Harry felt the corner of his eyes start to prickle dangerously. There was no way he was going to break down in front of her too, this just wasnt going to happen! What the hell was wrong with him anyway? "Drop it," he choked, "Please. I cant do this now. Ill tell you when Im ready, but not now."
Hermione could see him fighting to hold his composure, and that scared her more than anything did. Harry had always kept his emotions in tight check, carefully guarded. If he was this close to losing control, whatever it was that was bothering him was worse than she thought. There was nothing to be done than wait him out though, "Okay," she leaned over and hugged him quickly before disappearing from the room.
Harry lay back down on his bed and groaned, he didnt mean to upset her. For crying out loud, it was his job to save the wizarding world, he shouldnt have to comfort them because of it too! That wasnt fair and Harry knew it, but he didnt much care at this point. He had to do something to change his attitude before the party so he grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower.
Mrs. Weasley had gone all out and there was more than enough food for a small army. After a festive dinner loaded with all of Harrys favorite things, the small group entered the sitting room. It was decorated with a number of items from Fred and George shop and everyone in attendance was slightly leery of entering the room. This caused no small measure of delight from the shops proprietors. The party consisted of all the Weasley family members staying at Grimmauld Place, in addition to Moony, Tonks, Alastor Moody and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Mundungus Fletcher made a late appearance and could be seen huddling in the corner with the twins. Molly Weasley was keeping a close eye on that situation.
Tonks and Remus sat on the couch, deep in conversation while Bill Weasley was in the midst of a brutal chess match with Moody. Ron was paying close attention to the match while Hermione absentmindedly kept peering over at Moony and Tonks, a knowing smile on her lips.
It was Ginny who had captured Harrys attention. She wore a pair of faded Muggle jeans and a simple green T-shirt. The T-shirt, however, must have been old for it was slightly too small and would reveal a thin band of skin on her abdomen each time she moved. Harry was mesmerized and couldnt take his eyes off her, waiting for each time her belly button would appear. He began to think she was doing it on purpose, knowing the effect she was having on him! There it went again! Harry felt a slight twinge in his shorts and shifted uncomfortably.
What in the name of all that was magic was going on? He remembered having similar feelings for Cho Chang before hed actually got to know her, but this was different. This was Ginny! She was a friend. She was Rons sister! She was part of the family who had taken him in as one of their own, she was NOT simply an attractive girl. He should not be feeling these things when he looked at her.
The extent of Harrys knowledge on the facts of life came from overheard conversations between Ron and his other roommates. Harry wasnt entirely sure if everything they said was accurate to begin with. He knew that all of them had had fantasies about one girl or another, and probably others that they wouldnt admit too, he thought, thinking of Ron and Hermione. Still, this fascination with Ginny all of a sudden couldnt be normal, there had to be another reason!
His thoughts were interrupted when Mr. and Mrs. Weasley asked him if they could have a word. Harrys face flushed guiltily but he quietly followed them from the room, stealing one last look at Ginny before he left.
Mr. Weasley was holding up a piece of parchment. Harry could see the name of Gringotts printed at the top. "I received a very interesting owl this afternoon Harry," Mr. Weasley was saying.
Harry looked at the floor, "Its from Sirius will," he explained softly.
Mrs. Weasley grabbed his chin and raised his head to face hers, "He left this to you Harry, we couldnt possibly accept it. Its incredibly generous but"
"No!" Harry interrupted, "You have to take it! I dont want it, I dont need it!"
Both of the senior Weasley faces held both sympathy and pity, something Harry couldnt bare to see. He didnt want pity from them, he never wanted pity from them, so he changed tactics, looking at a spot on the floor as he talked, "Look, youve always been more a family to me than anyone else has ever tried to be. Ive spent all my summers with you and youve always taken care of me. Let me give something back," Harry was getting more and more embarrassed as he went on, but he forced himself to continue, "I never told S- S- Sirius how much he meant to me, and Im not going to make that mistake again. Please accept it, there has to be something good to come out of all this."
When Harry finished speaking, he was quiet for a moment, neither of the Weasleys said anything. Finally, he looked up and saw tears in Mollys eyes; Arthur had taken Harrys position of staring at the floor. Mrs. Weasley opened and closed her mouth several times and Harry thought vaguely, Someone should write this down, Ive actually got Molly Weasley at a loss for words!
Instead of speaking, she wrapped Harry in a tight embrace and pulled him close to her. For once, Harry didnt fight it but instead held on and hugged her back. He could tell she was crying and his own vision was quite blurred. This was how Ginny found them when she entered the hallway.
Unsure of what was going on, but knowing it was somehow important, she wasnt confident what to do, "Mum? Dad? Are we going to do Harrys cake or what?"
Mrs. Weasley and Harry broke apart and Molly whispered, "You will always be a Weasley Harry," softly as Arthur squeezed his shoulder before they re-entered the sitting room. Harry and Ginny followed behind.
"All right Harry?"
"Yeah. . .I am."
"Good then, lets have some cake! I dont think Ron can wait much longer."
As everyone was finishing up their cake, double chocolate, Molly sat down on the couch next to Remus Lupin, who was eating the last few bites of his cake while surreptitiously watching Harry and Ginny laugh over something the twins were saying. Remus leaned over to Molly and said just for her to hear, "Harry seems to finally be coming around."
Molly watched as Harrys eyes followed the rise of Ginnys shirt on her waist as she leaned over to smack one of her brothers. "Yes," she smiled, "Sixth year sounds about right. I remember seeing Arthur on my first day at Hogwarts, he was in his second year. I decided then and there that he was the one for me. Took him until about sixth year to see the light. Once a Weasley woman sets her mind to something, theres no stopping her!"
Moony laughed, "Youve got to cut Harry some slack, he has no experience whatsoever with any kind of relationship. Hes learning it all from scratch."
Molly smiled sadly, "Sometimes I really want hex those people he lives with."
"Me too. I cringe when I think of Lily. She must be turning over in her grave. She never had a lot of nice to things to say about her sister."
Molly shook herself out of her morose thoughts, "He certainly seems to be enjoying himself tonight. Maybe tonights dreams will be a bit better."
Moony watched Harry yet again glance at Ginnys bare midriff, "Maybe youre right."
A/N: The idea that Ginnys shirt must be old because its too small and shows her belly button comes from my young son. He said that about Kim Possible one day and I thought it was hysterical. I imagine Harry isnt any more aware of girl fashion than my son is!
Thanks to all who reviewed, I really appreciate it! Please continue to R/R and let me know what you like and dont like!