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It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing | ||||
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Category: Post-OotP Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Songfic Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: PG Reviews: 7 Summary: Harry told Ginny he loved her when he was 20 and she fled, 3 yrs later shes going under a fake name Hitcount: Story Total: 4797 |
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---Hope life's been good to you since you've been gone--- Harry stared out his window thinking about Ginny. He told her he loved her and she fled. ---I'm doin' fine now--I've finally moved on It's not so bad--I'm not that sad--- Harry could now smile at people and have full conversations without a single thought of Ginny. He was still sad about her leaving but not much anymore ---I'm not surprised just how well I survived I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive I can't complain--I'm free again And it only hurts when I'm breathing--- It was night and his day time act of being over Ginny disapeared. Everytime he breathed he could literally feel the pain coming back stronger. - ---My heart only breaks when it's beating--- With every beat beat of his heart he could almost feel it breaking. ---My dreams only die when I'm dreaming So, I hold my breath--to forget--- He held his breath. He was hoping maybe the pain would stop if he didn't breathe. ---Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night There's no need to worry, I'm really all right I've never looked back--as a matter of fact --- That's the kind of positive thoughts people would think he thought, it was completely opposite what he was thinking. ---And it only hurts when I'm breathing--- It was night and his day time act of being over Ginny disapeared. Everytime he breathed he could literally feel the pain coming back stronger. ---My heart only breaks when it's beating--- With every beat beat of his heart he could almost feel it breaking. ---My dreams only die when I'm dreaming So, I hold my breath--to forget--- He held his breath. He was hoping maybe the pain would stop if he didn't breathe. ---It only hurts when I breathe--- Harry looked at a picture of him and Ginny on his night stand. It was the year he'd finally notcied her. She was 16 and he was 17. They were at Bill's wedding. Ginny was wearing a midnight blue bride's maid's dress. It was strapless but didn't reveal too much. It had alight slits on either side and went beatifully with her bright red hair. Her hair was long and wavy and loose around her. Her bright honey colored eyes peered up at him. There was him next to her. His hair messy as usual. His glasses as usual. Only difference was that he was in a suit. She was leaning in for the picture. She was leaning her back against his arm smiling brightly at the camera. He was grinning and there was a bit of color in his cheeks. Every time he saw that picture his heart stung. He needed Ginny, and that was that. ~*~PART 2~*~ Harry came down the stairs in the morning his eyes red and swollen from crying, and with big black bags under them. He was surprised to see Hermione in the kitchen. "Oh Harry! You look awful!" She said concerned. "Uh, right, thanks Herm." He said managing a slight smile. "I got some information on Ginny from work for you" she said cautiously. Harry gave her a pained smile "Thanks". Hermione gave him a slight smile. "She's moved to Tampa Florida and is under a fake name" she said sadly. "Oh" he said tears swelling his eyes from thinking about Ginny "What's her name?". Hermione smiled a little "She's going as Ashley Harriet Potter, she found a way to legalize it for papers". Harry smiled and laughed a little "Ashley Harriet Potter?" he said still smiling a little. Hermione nodded smiling "She's living as a muggle". Harry laughed slightly, "Well I've got work to go to" "Me too Harry, I'll be too busy to visit for 3 weeks, keep in touch!" she said before hugging him and kissing him on the cheek and disaperating out. Harry sat at his desk throwing a Quaffle into the air and catching it. "Harry Potter?" a voice came, distracting Harry and the Quaffle fell on his head "Ow, crap that hurt" he muttered then looked up at the girl around his age "Yeah, that's me". The girl had long straight auburn hair, and sparkling blue eyes. She was rather short and attractive. "Then you can help me" she started "I hope". He gave her a friendly smile. "I need Ron Weasley's address" she said hopefully. "Ok I need your name" he said suspiciously. "Ashley Potter" she said and Harry's face lit up "What?". Harry jumped "Um, nothing Gi- err Miss Potter" he quickly corrected himself. She looked at him strangely. "Yeah, the address is 1450 Crestwood Dr". She wrote it down "And Hermione Granger's?". Harry had to keep himself from staring at her "Err same one theyre married". "Oh, ok thank you" Harry couldn't hold himself anyone "Ginny cut the crap". She looked at him "I beg your pardon?" she said. "Ginny I know it's you.You go by Ashley Harriet Potter". She hesitated "I don't know where you aquired this information but I assure you, it is not accurate" she said weakley "I'm not this Ginny girl you speak of, I'm Ashley" she said before turning around quickly and almost running up. Harry grinned "We'll see about that wont we Ashley?" he said quietly to himself. After Ginny left Harry raced out of his office. He waited for Parvati, his secretary, to finish on the phone. He'd hired her because she was living on the streets and needed money. She had no experience and Harry's boss reluctantly gave her 3 weeks on the job. If Harry could train her well to be a secretary she could stay. Parvati lived with Harry for the 3 weeks before the boss was impressed and asked her to stay. Then after she was accepted Harry helped her get back on her feet. "What is it Harry?" she asked hanging up the phone. "Did you just see Ginny walking into my office?" he asked intently. "Um, Harry, I thought you were over this?" she said "We all miss Ginny, but that was a girl by the name of Ashley Potter". Harry stopped for a second then said "But it was! That's Ginny!" he said begging her in his mind to believe him in his mind. She rolled her eyes at him. "Look, Parvati" he stopped and sighed "Hermione got information on Ginny from her work for me". Parvati gave him an I'm- listening-but-whatever look. "Gin's living in Tampa Florida, in America, As a muggle by the name of Ashley Potter" he said hoping she'd believe him this time. "Harry-" she started. "No!" he said quickly interrupting her "It's true! Call Hermione! Ask her!". Parvati smiled "She's back!". Harry frowned, "Not completely". Parvati looked confused. "I told 'Ashley' I knew she's Ginny and she was all like 'I'm Ashley' so all we have to do is prove it's her!" ~*~PART 3~*~ ---Do you ever get past the pain you go through? When you give all you can and you can't understand Why a dream won't come true?--- "Didn't admit it" he told Ron sadly "She just walked out like it was no big deal" ---It's one sided romance you can't undo When you do all the loving and hurting, too--- "Oh" Ron said in a sympathetic voice that showed he could not find words to expresss how sorry he was. "Ron, it isnt right..it's a romance alright but its one sided, im the only one doing the loving, I do it all while Ginny's out there fooling the world that shes Ashley Potter.but shes not becausei don't love Ashley Potter, I love Ginny Weasley" ---You can't take it back once you give your heart Trying not to recall how you did all is the hardest part--- "I love her Ron, and I cant just go and not be in love with her because I want it to, and I don't want it to" Harry said tears coming to his eyes. "Harry, never stop loving her, one day she might feel all alone in this world and need to know someone, other than her family, loves her" Ron told him. ---And you can't change the reason you feel like a fool 'Cause you did all the loving and hurting, too--- "Ron I feel like a damn fool! I should have known she doesn't love me and that shes out of my league in the first place, but here I am still doing everything in a one sided romance." ---That's the price you pay for doing more than your share When you love enough for both of you, no one else has to care And though it's all over, you look bac on the truth You did all the lovin' and the hurting, too--- "Harry, maybe you should have let her do a little too before you told her you love her, it could have worked out better, I mean no offense or anything but I really think you could have waited" Ron said in a half sympathetic way. ---And though it's all over, it's over for you You're still doing all the lovin' and the hurting, too--- "Ron, im still doing it, all the loving and the hurting..." ---You did all the lovin' and the hurting, too...--- ~*~PART 4~*~ About a month after Harry had told Ron about Ashley, or Ginny, he still had seen or heard no trace of her since. He packed up his briefcase to go home and exited his office locking it behind him. "Night Parvati, see you in the morning" He said smiling at her. She smiled back "Ok Harry, but remember your briefcase" she said in a mock scolding tone. He was about to continue to walk by her desk when he saw a small gold business card type paper lying on the ground. Harry bent over and picked up the gold card. On it, it said 'Ashley Potter Golden Globe Estates Work: 871-855-6827 Home: 871-934-7257 Cell Phone: 871-745-9728 Fax: 871-637-7268'. Harry grinned and looked up at Parvati, who looked at him strangely. "What's up with you?" she asked signing a paper. "Well, I found Ginny or Ashley's business card" he said waving the card in her face. She grabbed it and scowled at him "I'm your secretary not your little sister who you can tease" she said but then her face cracked into a smile. Harry grabbed it back. "Ok Lover Boy, go call your girl, but don't blow her cover" she said grinning as he darted out the door. Harry rushed home and grabbed the phone. "Ok..I'll try the work number first.". He dialed the number and listened to it ring a few times. "Ashley Potter for Golden Globe Estates" she answered. "Hey Ashley" he said dieing to say Ginny. "Hi" she said slowly "To whom am I speaking?". Harry paused, "This is Harry Potter, the guy you came to see about a month ago for Ron and Hermione Weasley's address". Ginny smiled to herself "How can I be of assistance?". Harry laughed "Ok drop the whole 'I'm so professional' thing and talk normally". Ginny couldn't help but laugh then said "Ok then Harry, what are you calling for?" "Well I was wondering if you had anything planned for tomorrow night". Ginny checked her schedule "Well.. I have to work until eight.. And then I'm free, what did you have in mind?". This was a very good question. Harry hadn't thought about what he had planned. "Well." he started "I'm not quite sure but I can probably take you out for Italian food". Ginny grabbed a pen and pad "Any restaurants in mind?". Harry thought "Err.Yeah" "Formal, semi-formal, or casual wear?" "Um.semi-formal" "Ok is that all?". Harry thought again "Yeah that's about it, you need my number right?" "Sure do" "Ok my home number is 871-573-6846 and my cell is 871-463-5785 and work 871-326-7421" "Alright". Harry couldn't help but smile "You remember where my office is right?". Ginny paused for a second "Yeah" "Meet me there by my secretary's area when you get off of work and she'll get me ok?" "Ok" "See you tomorrow" "Bye" Harry apparated to Ron and Hermione's after he hung up with Ginny. "Ron! Herm!" he yelled. Ron and Hermione came into the kitchen. "Harry! Nice to see you!" Hermione said hugging Harry. "Hey Harry" Ron said and they did one of those hand shaking/patting eachother on the back things that guys do. "What brings you here?" Hermione asked pouring them all something to drink. "Well I-thanks Hermione-got in touch with Ginny today and I'm taking her out for Italian food tomorrow at around eight." Hermione smiled "That's wonderful Harry!". Ron grinned at Harry "Great, and im VERY sorry Harry but I just got an emergency call into work" Ron said and left. After chatting with Hermione for a while the baby started to cry so Harry hugged Hermione and kissed the baby's forehead and apparated home, his mind still focused on Ginny. ~*~PART 5~*~ (This part is around Ginny) Ginny was searching through her closet that morning before going to dinner with Harry. She picked simple, yet cute, light blue spaghetti strap dess. It went down to her knees and had a small slits on both sides. She also picked out a black tube top and a nice pair of jeans. Then she got dressed for the day. She put on some lip gloss and picked up the phone to call her best friend. It rang for a second before Raychle DioMornte, picked up. "Hello?" Raychle said. "Hey Raych!" "Hey Ashy Bashy! Where have you been? You haven't called in forever!" "Hey, dont offend!" Ginnny laughed, Raychle didn't know that her best friend 'Ashley Potter' was actually Ginny Weasley, "You haven't called either!" "Ohh, don't offend!" Raychle shared the laugh, "I've been busy with work, what's your excuse oh holy Ashley?" Raychle said emphasizing 'holy'. "Work!" "You stole that from me!" "Did not! Now get over here im going out tonight and I need your help!" Ginny said without waiting for an answer and hanging up. Ginny was still grinning as she loaded her laundry into the washing machine, waiting for Raychle. Ginny missed Hermione. If it had been Hermione, her old best friend, she could just apparate and appear within a second. Raychle, however, was muggle and had no idea the wizarding world existed. Ginny's thoughts were soon interrupted by her friend, Justin Coffee, bursting in yelling "Ginny!". Ginny quickly ran out there and covered his mouth, from behind, and dragging him into the laundry room and slamming the door. "Stupid!" she scolded, "You know damn well everybody thinks my name is Ashley Potter and you come barging in here screaming Ginny!". Justin looked down like a child being reprimanded by his mother ''Sorry Gin" he said, then looked up giving her a cheeky grin. Ginny couldn't help but laugh, "Ya know, Mr Coffee, Miss DioMornte is going to be in here one of these when you do that" she said scolding him in mockery, with her hands on her hips imitating Professor McGonnagal. They played around like that for 10 minutes before they heard Raychle burst in yelling "Aaaaaaashleyyyyy". 'Why do all my friend just walk in and out as they please?' Ginny thought and called back to Raychle, "In the laundry room!". Raychle came skipping in eating a Hostess cupcake. "Oh...thanks for eating my food!" Ginny said jokingly. "Any-" but Raychle never finished, she had spotted Justin and went bright red getting quiet. Ginny noticed and grinned "Justin, do you mind leaving? We've got clothes issues''. Justin looked uninterested and went to scope out the pantry and fridge. Ginny and Raychle rushed upstairs to Ginny's room, where she had the outfits layed out. "Which one?" Ginny asked dragging Raychle away from her clubbing clothes. "Umm...Put them on for me to see" Raychle set settling down on Ginny's bed. After an hour of comparing and contrasting the outfits, they decided on the dress. If Ginny spilt anything on it its not like her jeans, where shed have to wear them again. ~*~PART 6~*~ (More around Ginny...) ---There is something that I see In the way you look at me There's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes--- When Ginny saw Harry come out of his office, after she arrived a little past 8 o'clock, her heart was pounding so hard in her chest she was sure it would come right out. He saw her and smiled brightly, he bright emerald green eyes shining. She smiled back, though she was surprised she could even move. She looked into his eyes and could almost read his thoughts, she hoped. ---But an unexpected way On this unexpected day Could it mean this is where I belong It is you I have loved all along--- Ginny found herself laughing and enjoying herself more than she had in the past 3 years. Ginny would be getting lost in his eyes but she was to busy laughing at his jokes and comments. "So, Ashley, Enjoying yourself?" Harry asked taking a sip of his soda after she calmed down. "You wouldn't believe" she answered, laughter still evident in her eyes. The waitress came by with their food and dropped it off. "This is quite good" Ginny said swallowing, "Actually, its very good". Harry smiled at "It is, isn't it?". 'If people could melt someone else with their smile' Ginny thought 'I'd be a puddle on the floor'. ---It's no more mystery It is finally clear to me You're the home my heart searched for so long And it is you I have loved all along--- ---There were times I ran to hide Afraid to show the other side Alone in the night without you--- ---But now I know just who you are And I know you hold my heart Finally this is where I belong It is you I have loved all along--- Ginny looked into Harry's eyes as they were sitting on a bench in a beautiful park. The park was quite small but Ginny loved it. It had a big fountain that had lights gleaming up on it. The fountain was an angel, the angel was done in great detail. Ginny could barely make out maany of the details in the dark but it was quite obvious they were there by the shadows cast by the light. The stars shown over head, and the moon was full. As Ginny glanced at the full moon she couldn't help but wonder about Remus Lupin, her beloved friend and old teacher. "This is beautiful Harry" she said turning her head to him. "This is where I come when I need to think" he said staring at the water coming from the angel's upstretched hands. Ginny nodded to show she'd heard him and also looked to the angel. "There was this girl i used to know" he started and Ginny looked to him. "Her name was Ginny, she loved angels" he said and Ginny saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, "She collected all things that werea angels, my nickname for her was Angel". Ginny was shocked, he still remembered. "I'm sorry, Ashley, I took you out and here I am going on about a lost love". Ginny nodded to show she understood and smiled. "I know exactly how that feels." Ginny could feel it in her very being, she had been in love with Harry when she left. ---It's no more mystery It is finally clear to me You're the home my heart searched for so long And it is you I have loved all along--- ---Over and over I'm filled with emotion Your love, it rushes through my veins--- Ginny was surprised when she saw it was 11 o'clock at night. The next thing she new Harry was standing in front of her door with her. "I had a great time tonight with you, Ashley" he said looking into her blue eyes, he missed her warm chocolate brown eyes that he'd loved so much. Ginny felt a stab at her heart. She wanted to hear Ginny, that he had a good time with Ginny. "Me too" she said smiling up and gazing into his beautiful green eyes "Let's do it agian sometime?" She had a hopeful glint in her eyes that almost melted Harry. "Definately" he said smiling back. Since it was the first date they only hugged. It lasted forever, but Ginny felt not long enough. ---And I am filled With the sweetest devotion As I, I look into your perfect face--- ---It's no more mystery It is finally clear to me You're the home my heart searched for so long And it is you I have loved It is you I have loved It is you I have loved all along --- As Ginny got into her her bed that night she closed her eyes and saw Harry. "I want to go back to my old life, To being Ginny Weasley but I can't just up and leave my life as Ashley Potter, there's my friends and my job" she said to nobody in particular. She curled up and forced herself into a sleep, that was filled with dreams of Harry. ~*~PART 7~*~ (Back to Harry) Harry was completely in a daze the next day at work. He was in such a daze that he didn't notice that Charlie, the new Minister of Magic and the second oldest Weasley child, had entered, with his 4-years-old twins Benjamin (Benji for short) and Kelly in tow. Harry looked up and smiled, "Hey Charlie!" he noticed the twins and grinned "What's up Benj, Kel?" The twins grinned back and sat in the chairs in front of Harry's desk. ''Do I get to meet any Quidditch players?" Benji asked excitedly. Harry chuckled "Not today Benji" Benji and Kelly soon found interest in things lying around Harry's office leaving Harry and Charlie to talk. "So, I heard about Ginny" Charlie said casually. Harry grinned. "What did you guys do?", being experienced from Ron and Hermione Harry gave a complete and detailed answer. "Going to take her out again?" Charlie asked. Harry shrugged "I want to". Charlie suddenly grinned, "Go to her house at midnight and take her for a walk on the beach". Harry raised an eyebrow, "Midnight?" "It's deserted at midnight" "Good point" "Take her out tonight" "I just took her out last night! I don't want to seem obssessive!" "Well you are so get over it" That night at midnight Harry rang Ginny's doorbell. 'I hope she doesn't get mad...' Harry thought and jumped as he heard the door unlock. "Oh! Harry!" Ginny said happily, "What a nice surprise!". Harry smiled down at her "I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk with me on the beach?" She smiled and nodded "Is it cool enough for a jacket?" "Nope" Harry said grinning as he led her out of the house, after shse had put on her sandals. Harry and Ginny were walking along the shore. Ginny had her sandals off and was holding them in her hand, walking on the edge of the water. "Thanks, Harry, this is lovely" Ginny had dreamed of this since the first time she saw him. 'Harry smiled down at her "I'm glad you're enjoying it" They kept walking for a while until they came to the dock. They walked out to the edge and sat down. "Um, Ashley, I was just wondering something, this will probably sound nosey, but I was just wondering...have you ever been in love?" Harry said twisting his hands in his lap. Ginny smiled at the memory. "I have, actually, I had had a crush on him since i was a little girl" she started, clearly not being careful of who she was speaking to, "And I had this crush for a long time, when I was 16, in my sixth year at at Hog-at a school that I attended fro when i was eleven through when I was seventeen, he saved my life for the...countless time, he was always saving my butt from something" she said and chuckled. She didn't look at Harry as she continued "Well that was all it took for me to realise that my crush was love, it had become love without me noticing, then when I was nineteen Ha-this boy that I was in love with told me that he was in love with me, and I was so scared, it wasn't love I was afraid of, it was these people that were after me, and I knew that if they'd found out then he'd be in dan-" Ginny had finally remembered who she was talking to and jumped up. "Ginny! Wait!" Harry said and quickly got up as Ginny started to leave, "Please!" he said grabbing her arm and spinning her around. "Don't leave...not again" he begged. "Harry...I can't do this! I just can't!" she said backing away. "Who was after you?" he asked and gently took her arm again. "It doesn't matter, they're gone now" she said quietly. "Ginny, I need to know..do you still love me?" he asked intently staring into her eyes.Harry and Ginny stood there for a moment staring into eachothers eyes when Ginny flung her arms around him, dragging him into a huge hug. "I do" she said softly crying into is chest, "I really do..". Harry held Ginny close to him, grinning. "I'm so sorry i ran away...I'm sorry I-". Harry cut her off, "Don't you be sorry for that" he said gently, yet firmly. "You were afraid and i understand that, you've got nothing to be sorry for" he said wiping her tears away. They stood there like that for a while. Neither knew how long, neither cared. "Harry.." Ginny said softly after a while. "Yeah?" he asked kissing the top of her head. "See...i used to have this boyfriend...and we were supposed to get married...but...um...i'm pregnant and err...he kind of left?" she siad quickly, but Harry caught every word. Harry felt a jolt of anger through him. "He left?". Ginny nodded as Harry tried his best to keep his temper. "Don't worry over him Gin, I'm here now, I'll help you with the baby". Ginny smiled up at him, "Can you be the daddy?" Harry looked shocked for a second then grinned and nodded. "Yes...i can be the daddy" After a while Ginny and Harry went back to Harry's place. Finally Harry spoke up about the baby. "Ginny? I was wondering..just how far along pregnant are you?". Ginny took off a charm to expose her very large stomach "Any guesses?" she joked then told him "About 6 months". Harry looked surprised "Dang..not much logner left" he said and they laughed. "So do you know boy or girl?" Harry asked. "They're both girls" she said to surprise him. "Th-there's twins?" he asked. Ginny grinned and nodded. "Names?" he asked, yet another question. "Not yet, you have to help" They thought of names for a little while beofre Ginny asked. "You're going to stay with me for this right?". Harry smiled at her and said "Ginny, you'll never be alone again". !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~3 months later~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~! "Mr. Harry Potter?" a doctor came into the waiting room. "Right here" Harry said getting up and going over there. The docotr smiled and said "You are the, hopefully, proud father father of two healthy, not really happy, baby girls" she said earning a chuckle from the room. Harry went in and saw Ginny awake and holding the girls. "Harry, say hi to Katelin Raychle and Madison Hermione Potter, Katie and Madison say hi to Daddy" she said as if Katie and Madison could understand. Harry smiled down at them and gladly took Madison when Ginny held her to Harry. When Ginny finally came home with the girls and put them to bed Harry got down on one knee and said quite sweetly. "Ginny Weasley" he started, knowing she hated Virginia. "Would you give me the privilege of being my wife?" Ginny nearly cried as she shouted yes and kissed him, forgetting about the ring. |
| Reviews 7 |
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